Dust In The Wind By Nadja Lee 15/11/01
English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.
Disclaimer: "X-men" and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.
Disclaimer: "Dust In The Wind" was sung by Kansas and belong to them, their record company and anyone else who was a part of its making. I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set in the movie universe. Long after the movie
Universe: Set in the movie universe; NOT the book which goes with it.
Romance: Logan/Rogue
Summary: Logan says his final farewell to the woman he loved.
Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.
Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is [email protected]
Rating: PG-13
Sequel/series: None
Part 1:
The rain is pouring down but I don't feel it. I don't feel anything anymore. Nothing…but pain and an agonizing emptiness. I knew this day would come, from the moment I met her I knew we'll part one day but this day still came too soon. Way too soon. I wasn't ready to lose her; I don't think I ever will be.
The world doesn't change much in almost 100 years. Wars are fought, battles lost and won, people are being born and die…nothing changes but names. Names and faces.
She kept me together, together and sane. Wrapped in her love I was never lost and always where I wanted to be. God, I miss her so much it hurts. I feel like my heart is breaking into a million pieces; like glass being shattered on the floor.
I close my eyes and for just a moment in time I think back; I remember. Remember her laughter, her smile, her eyes always filled with love just for me, her kindness and compassion…. her innocence which stayed with her all through her life.
All my dreams were with her. She was my dream…now I have nothing left. Dust in the wind. All what's left is dust in the wind.
If I could bring her back I would no matter the price. I'll do anything to just hold her a moment longer…just a few more seconds…just one more kiss…Please I need her so much…
Everywhere I go I see her; I remember. Any brown-haired girl I see I have to look at her face to assure me it isn't my love. My beloved…Marie. All I ever did was for her. All for her. All I am, all I've become is thanks to her. She saved me, brought me home. Without her I'm lost, drifting aimlessly at sea. A ship without it's captain, a star without it's light. For she was my light…. she was the light of my heart.
If only…if only…. dreams doesn't buy her more time, nothing can do that anymore, not even me, no matter how much I want to. I can defeat all; all but the enemy who took her from me; Death. She is the only one I never could defeat. Not for others anyway. Me? I live forever. I have to Goddamn live forever! Without her. I can imagine no crueller torture. An eternity…. without her love. Lost, cold…and alone.
I cry but the rain washes my tears away. I've reached the edge of the bridge I'm walking on and take forth the small crystal jar, which is all I've left now. I can understand her reasons; all her adult life she was denied touch. I never touched her save to heal her…though I did steal a few kisses that sent me to sickbay…
So I understand why she wanted to be burned and not put in a coffin. Her skin was her prison; she was already in a coffin. She wanted to feel something against her skin, even the licking of flames. Now, there's only one thing left to do…. setting her free forever.
I…. I can't. I can't let go. I know she's gone. Logically I know this…but my heart refuses to believe it. If not the doctors had held me back I wouldn't have allowed them to burn her in the first place though I had given my word to her that her wishes would be followed. But she had looked so peaceful. Like an Angel asleep. How could I let them hurt her?
This agony I feel inside, this pain beyond belief which is tearing me apart…. is this the price of love? I should have known it'd come to this. Pain; always pain. Though for her….for her I'll take any pain, any agony…she's worth everything I have to give. My life, my soul, my heart, my love….I laid them all in her hands, safe in her small gloved hands.
All my tears are nothing but drops in an endless sea. All my years are nothing but seconds in an endless row of years, of eternities. If only she was here with me to ease my pain and wipe away my tears. If only…
I fall to my knees on the cold, wet ground and cry so hard I feel I shall die. I double over and feel like I'm choking. I can't still be alive. No one who feels this much pain as I do can survive…. yet I do.
I hug the crystal jar close to me and the rain and my tears make it shine. Like if her light still shines on me even if just for a second. Gods, I miss her. I miss her so much. Please…please, bring her back to me…please, I need her…. I love her so much. I don't know how to go on without her…
No, don't hang on…. Don't. Just let go. I have to let go. Nothing lasts
forever but the earth and sky. Everything is slipping away… Dust in the wind.
All we are is dust in the wind.
I force myself to my feet and lean over the edge of the bridge. It's really a
beautiful spot with trees, clear blue water and the mountains in the
background. She'll have loved it.
I fight tears as I force myself to open the lid on the crystal jar…and dust flies to the wind.
Farewell, beloved. Farewell. No one could have loved you more than I did…than I'll always do till my dying day and beyond.
Rest easy now, darlin'. Find peace…and wait for me to join you so I can keep the promise I gave you so many years ago…. I'll take care of you…forever and far longer than that.
Forever, beloved.
As I leave the bridge dust flies in the wind.
Everything is dust in the wind.
Everything is dust in the wind.
The End