[i] The drive over was ride over was quiet as Bryan blasted his newest band that he'd found. I simply watched out the window nervously. My contents of my stomach was begging to come up. I willed it and my window down, hoping the fresh air would help it.

Bryan somehow knew exactly how to get to my mother's house, which was where we decided would be the better place to start. Getting out of the truck I pulled out the keyring, I hadn't used or even looked at for that matter, out of my pocket and slipped it easily into the lock.

Stepping into the house I was hit with an overwhelming smell of dust, mold and alcohol. I turned to look at Bryan my hand covering my face and my eyes wide. He shook his head but kept quiet. I tiptoed through the house as if I was an intruder.

Reaching my bedroom I was worried at what I'd be faced with on the other side. I opened the door a stale smell filled the air now, I assumed no one had been down this hallway, much less in my bedroom since I left. I looked around seeing the various pictures of me with my friends that I'd put up one of the last nights I'd actually stayed at my house in attempt to distract myself, the many cheering and gymnastic trophies I'd received from multiple meets and tournaments, and all of the small things that reminded me of my past; ticket stubs, movie tickets, souvenirs, stuffed animals.

Taking a deep breath I was ready to start packing my things. "I'll just be a moment, I'm sure my mom left the boxes from moving in the closet." I said leaving the room again. On my way to the closet that was near the kitchen. I took a quick glance to survey the damage in there; the garbage hadn't been taken out in way too long, there were bottles piling up on all surfaces, some were even spilling onto the floor, and there were bugs. I was disgusted by the sight and quickly turned back to the task at hand, boxes.

I was right, the closet was filled with them. I pulled out only three, knowing that'd be enough at both houses; I mainly wanted my clothes.

Returning to my room I found Bryan lying down on my bed. "Lazy." I joked looking at him.

He chuckled and stood up. "What'd you want to take?"

"Well I really want my clothes and CDs and I think that's it." I said looking around.

"Sounds good." He said walking towards my stacks of CDs as I started pulling the clothes in my dresser out and into the boxes.

When both my CDs and clothes from the dresser and closet were packed, we had almost completely filled the second box. "Hey, why don't you fold the blanket on my bed? It's my favorite and the one at home is a bit old." I suggested as I stood up and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?" He asked doing as I'd told him.

"Well, we're going to need another box and I figured I'd just pop in and say something to my mom…" I said the last part quietly as I bit at my lip.

"You wanna go alone?" He questioned worriedly.

"I think it'll go better if it's just me." I responded truthfully, knowing my mother would not approve of Bryan.

"Alright, well I'll wait for you here." He said continuing to fold the blanket.

"It shouldn't take long, why don't you take the matching pillow cases and stuff though, that way it all matches." I said hoping to distract him if it did take long. He nodded and I set out down the hall.

I felt like a stranger in my own house, walking down the hallway I felt out of place. As I got closer to her door the smell of alcohol increased and I could hear her TV loudly playing in her room. I didn't understand why she needed it so loud, when I was growing up it seemed like she could hear absolutely everything. I knocked lightly on the door, scared of what I'd find. Knowing she hadn't heard I knocked louder.

"Who's there?" She asked loudly, her voice confused but not scared; this struck me as odd who would be on the other side?

"It's me mom, Haley." I said my name, afraid she might've forgotten she had had me.

"Why are you here?" She snarled through the door. "Why aren't you with your precious father?"

I was shocked at what she'd said. "Why would I be with dad?" I asked opening the door and getting my first good look at her; her hair was down, greasy and messed up, matted down in areas and sticking up and to her face in others. Her eyes had bags under them so dark it looked like she'd been punched. She was in her pajamas and bath robe and hadn't looked to have gotten up from the bed in a long time.

"You spend all your time there, don't think I don't notice Haley." She spat the words at me, refusing to make eye contact, before taking a swig from a bottle of vodka.

"I'm sorry." I said worrying what would happen if I set her straight, would she be even angrier about Bryan? Would she call the cops or something? "I took my stuff, just so you know."

"Good." She said looking at the TV. I stood there, in her room for a few minutes hoping she'd say something more. When she didn't I quietly left the room and headed back to my room, briefly stopping to pick up another box.

"How'd it go?" Bryan asked, again lying down on my bed, when I got back into the room.

"Could've been better…" I responded setting the empty box by the other one.

"You okay?" He asked sitting up and motioning for me to come by him.

I leaned into him and sighed. "Yeah, I will be." Pulling away I smiled, "Let's get out of here so we can get home."

"Sounds good to me." He reached down for one the box he hadn't brought to the car in my absence.

"Bryan, do you have any of those pills left?" I asked on the way out, nervously.

He turned around and looked at me shocked. "Yeah I have some, why?"

"Oh, well I just kind of want one…" I said sheepishly looking up at him.

He smiled widely at me as if I'd just given him the best news in the entire world. "We can do that." Shoving the box in the back and hopping into the car we drove to my dad's house hand in hand.