I Blame The Coffee
By: Maveness Delight
Rating: PG-13 for mild cursing and caffinated delusions
Spoilers: For Shimmer
Disclaimer: I don't own Smallville or any of it's people. DC and WB do. Not me. Cause I'd have Clark and Chloe together soooo fast...
Summary: Never operate heavy machinery or talk to the friend you are obsessively in love with while under the influence of caffeine. There can be life-altering consequences.
Author's Note: Okay, the first paragraph was actually going to be for my online diary, then a plot bunny jumped up and bitch-slapped me, and, well, it was on!
And I'm dedicating this to Amy (my Lex twin) cause I've always wanted to dedicate a story to someone. So this one's for you Amy!
Chloe POV - The Beanery
You know that point where you haven't had caffeine in way too long? You're really, really tired, kind of achy, grouchy and generally just a scary example of the human race.
I was like that about ten minutes ago. Then I had coffee.
Make that two cups of your basic Columbian blend, a cappucino, a double- shot of espresso and a handful of chocolate-covered coffee beans.
Now I am a truly frightening example of a sentient being.
I. Am. Hyper.
Scary hyper. Bouncing in my chair hyper. Lack of rational behavior hyper.
Make note of that last one, cause Clark just walked in. And I think I'm about to do something monumentally stupid.
Clark just walked right over and sat down without a word. He's obviously in la-la land. Or is that Lana land? Ooooohh, mentally slapping my own hand for that one.
Well, obviously he isn't going to speak anytime soon, so I'll speak first.
"Quarter for your thoughts."
Clark glanced up, a little surprised.
"What, the going rate on thoughts changed?"
"Inflation."
"Ah, well...it's just..." He's waffling. Oh boy. Definitely Lana land.
"Okay, I'm going to tell you, but you have to keep it a secret."
He's giving me this really intense look now. Kinda sexy. Mental slap. Down girl. Focus. Still with the intense look. Oh, he's waiting for a response.
"Yeah, yeah, secret. Got it. Now talk."
"Okay, well, the other night when I went over to Lana's to work on the blood drive, something happened."
"I'm not going to be an aunt am I?"
Oops, that one just popped right out. Clark looks confused for about five seconds, then turns bright red. I just raise an eyebrow. What, I'm supposed to feel guilty? Where's the fun in that!
"Chloe!" Indignant Clark. How cute. And he's trying to glare at me too. I could pinch his cheeks. But I won't. Sit on the hands just to be sure. He's talking again. Better pay attention.
"Lana and I were on her porch talking. You know, about stuff in general, and, I don't know, we were shoulder to shoulder, and things got really intense."
Woah, wait a minute. Is this heading where I think it's heading? No. Make that "Hell no!"
Clark's eyes just got really big. Oh shit, that was out loud too.
"Um, I just saw Kim Veederman and David Mann making out in front of the hardware store." Nice save Chloe.
Clark just gave me a really odd look that time.
"Anyway," he gritted out. "We were talking, and we started leaning toward each other and...Chloe, I swear, we were about to kiss, and Nell came out."
Mental applause to Aunty Nell. Good timing girlfriend!
"Wow Clark! So, what happened? Did Nell go back in and Lana jump you, or did she run screaming, or, Oh! I've got it! The two of you made a pact never to speak of your illicit love again. No, wait. Nell chased you across the yard with a baseball bat - no, better a pom-pom!" The hands were flying with that one. Wow, I'm surprised I didn't take flight.
Clark is in full-on steely-eyed glare mode now. "Planning on letting me finish anytime soon?"
"Yep, okay, you talk. I'll listen. No more interrupting. I'll zip it. Not say a word. Okay, I'm shutting up now."
Clark's exasperated, I can tell, but he's already started, so he'll go through to the end. I know my Clarky. Clarky?
"We actually just sort of made plans to watch the sunset from the loft."
I raise an eyebrow. Oh, so the Fortress of Solitude is now the Fortress of Luuuuv?
"But when Lana came over, I just couldn't do it. I was prepared to make my move, but I couldn't butt in while she and Whitney are still together. So now, not only are Lana and I still just friends, but she sort of knows how I feel."
He looks so glum while he's saying this. I thank God that I had the foresight to sit in a booth in an unobtrusive corner. I make my move quick. Get out, slide in beside him and throw and arm around his shoulders, then give him a big squeeze. A nice, friendly, comforting hug.
It was Clark's turn to do the raised eyebrow thing. I just smiled. Hey, what could I say? Nothing, I can't talk, remember?
Clark's still looking at me questioningly. We're really close right now. He's got this cute pucker between his eyebrows when he's confused. "What was that for?"
I just grin and point at my mouth. Hey, he was the one who told me to shut it.
Clark looks at my mouth, since that is where I'm pointing, but it looks like being slow on the uptake is extending throughout this warped conversation. Cause instead of telling me I can talk now, he gets this look in his eyes. He glances back up, catches my gaze, then Bam!, the eyes go back to my mouth. And he bites his lip. I have to hold myself back from leaning forward and biting that lip myself.
I'm having trouble breathing. I swear, my caffeine-addled brain can't handle the overload. Clark is looking at me like he might kiss me. Me! Not Lana (although I have the overwhelming urge to check and make sure Nell is nowhere around to interrupt us).
His eyes have gotten really smoky...and huge. Of course that might be because our faces are closer together. I can actually feel his breath on my face. I think my heart is going to explode out of my chest.
I suddenly realize my lips are dry, so logic dictates I lick my lips. And Clark's eyes go back to my lips ad I actually hear him gasp.
And as would have to happen, since I have the luck of a squirrel on the NJ Turnpike during rush hour, instead of a mind-numbing kiss, I get "So, you guys haven't been waiting long for me, have you?"
Clark practically jumped to the other side of the bench seat of the booth as Pete plopped his sorry butt into the other side. Clark's eyes are large as saucers and he's staring at his hands, where he's systematically taken up shredding a napkin.
I have to figure out what just happened here. From the look on Pete's face, he knows exactly what he just interrupted. Bastard. Jerk. Grrrrrrr.
Okay, gotta get out of here before, in a caffeine and hormone induced rage, I tear one of my best friends limb from limb. I barely take the time to grab my purse as I leap from the table. I probably got about two steps before Pete says, "Bye Chloe," in this smarmy way that grates on my nerves. Glancing back, I shoot him a death glare, and as I glance at Clark's bent head one last time, I see on the table a bent, mangled coffee spoon. Curious.
But self-preservation skills being what they are, I'm hightailing out of here it as fast as I can. I don't want to be around when Clark comes to his senses and realized that he almost made the biggest mistake of his life. Cause why would Clark Kent want to kiss me, Chloe Sullivan?
The End
By: Maveness Delight
Rating: PG-13 for mild cursing and caffinated delusions
Spoilers: For Shimmer
Disclaimer: I don't own Smallville or any of it's people. DC and WB do. Not me. Cause I'd have Clark and Chloe together soooo fast...
Summary: Never operate heavy machinery or talk to the friend you are obsessively in love with while under the influence of caffeine. There can be life-altering consequences.
Author's Note: Okay, the first paragraph was actually going to be for my online diary, then a plot bunny jumped up and bitch-slapped me, and, well, it was on!
And I'm dedicating this to Amy (my Lex twin) cause I've always wanted to dedicate a story to someone. So this one's for you Amy!
Chloe POV - The Beanery
You know that point where you haven't had caffeine in way too long? You're really, really tired, kind of achy, grouchy and generally just a scary example of the human race.
I was like that about ten minutes ago. Then I had coffee.
Make that two cups of your basic Columbian blend, a cappucino, a double- shot of espresso and a handful of chocolate-covered coffee beans.
Now I am a truly frightening example of a sentient being.
I. Am. Hyper.
Scary hyper. Bouncing in my chair hyper. Lack of rational behavior hyper.
Make note of that last one, cause Clark just walked in. And I think I'm about to do something monumentally stupid.
Clark just walked right over and sat down without a word. He's obviously in la-la land. Or is that Lana land? Ooooohh, mentally slapping my own hand for that one.
Well, obviously he isn't going to speak anytime soon, so I'll speak first.
"Quarter for your thoughts."
Clark glanced up, a little surprised.
"What, the going rate on thoughts changed?"
"Inflation."
"Ah, well...it's just..." He's waffling. Oh boy. Definitely Lana land.
"Okay, I'm going to tell you, but you have to keep it a secret."
He's giving me this really intense look now. Kinda sexy. Mental slap. Down girl. Focus. Still with the intense look. Oh, he's waiting for a response.
"Yeah, yeah, secret. Got it. Now talk."
"Okay, well, the other night when I went over to Lana's to work on the blood drive, something happened."
"I'm not going to be an aunt am I?"
Oops, that one just popped right out. Clark looks confused for about five seconds, then turns bright red. I just raise an eyebrow. What, I'm supposed to feel guilty? Where's the fun in that!
"Chloe!" Indignant Clark. How cute. And he's trying to glare at me too. I could pinch his cheeks. But I won't. Sit on the hands just to be sure. He's talking again. Better pay attention.
"Lana and I were on her porch talking. You know, about stuff in general, and, I don't know, we were shoulder to shoulder, and things got really intense."
Woah, wait a minute. Is this heading where I think it's heading? No. Make that "Hell no!"
Clark's eyes just got really big. Oh shit, that was out loud too.
"Um, I just saw Kim Veederman and David Mann making out in front of the hardware store." Nice save Chloe.
Clark just gave me a really odd look that time.
"Anyway," he gritted out. "We were talking, and we started leaning toward each other and...Chloe, I swear, we were about to kiss, and Nell came out."
Mental applause to Aunty Nell. Good timing girlfriend!
"Wow Clark! So, what happened? Did Nell go back in and Lana jump you, or did she run screaming, or, Oh! I've got it! The two of you made a pact never to speak of your illicit love again. No, wait. Nell chased you across the yard with a baseball bat - no, better a pom-pom!" The hands were flying with that one. Wow, I'm surprised I didn't take flight.
Clark is in full-on steely-eyed glare mode now. "Planning on letting me finish anytime soon?"
"Yep, okay, you talk. I'll listen. No more interrupting. I'll zip it. Not say a word. Okay, I'm shutting up now."
Clark's exasperated, I can tell, but he's already started, so he'll go through to the end. I know my Clarky. Clarky?
"We actually just sort of made plans to watch the sunset from the loft."
I raise an eyebrow. Oh, so the Fortress of Solitude is now the Fortress of Luuuuv?
"But when Lana came over, I just couldn't do it. I was prepared to make my move, but I couldn't butt in while she and Whitney are still together. So now, not only are Lana and I still just friends, but she sort of knows how I feel."
He looks so glum while he's saying this. I thank God that I had the foresight to sit in a booth in an unobtrusive corner. I make my move quick. Get out, slide in beside him and throw and arm around his shoulders, then give him a big squeeze. A nice, friendly, comforting hug.
It was Clark's turn to do the raised eyebrow thing. I just smiled. Hey, what could I say? Nothing, I can't talk, remember?
Clark's still looking at me questioningly. We're really close right now. He's got this cute pucker between his eyebrows when he's confused. "What was that for?"
I just grin and point at my mouth. Hey, he was the one who told me to shut it.
Clark looks at my mouth, since that is where I'm pointing, but it looks like being slow on the uptake is extending throughout this warped conversation. Cause instead of telling me I can talk now, he gets this look in his eyes. He glances back up, catches my gaze, then Bam!, the eyes go back to my mouth. And he bites his lip. I have to hold myself back from leaning forward and biting that lip myself.
I'm having trouble breathing. I swear, my caffeine-addled brain can't handle the overload. Clark is looking at me like he might kiss me. Me! Not Lana (although I have the overwhelming urge to check and make sure Nell is nowhere around to interrupt us).
His eyes have gotten really smoky...and huge. Of course that might be because our faces are closer together. I can actually feel his breath on my face. I think my heart is going to explode out of my chest.
I suddenly realize my lips are dry, so logic dictates I lick my lips. And Clark's eyes go back to my lips ad I actually hear him gasp.
And as would have to happen, since I have the luck of a squirrel on the NJ Turnpike during rush hour, instead of a mind-numbing kiss, I get "So, you guys haven't been waiting long for me, have you?"
Clark practically jumped to the other side of the bench seat of the booth as Pete plopped his sorry butt into the other side. Clark's eyes are large as saucers and he's staring at his hands, where he's systematically taken up shredding a napkin.
I have to figure out what just happened here. From the look on Pete's face, he knows exactly what he just interrupted. Bastard. Jerk. Grrrrrrr.
Okay, gotta get out of here before, in a caffeine and hormone induced rage, I tear one of my best friends limb from limb. I barely take the time to grab my purse as I leap from the table. I probably got about two steps before Pete says, "Bye Chloe," in this smarmy way that grates on my nerves. Glancing back, I shoot him a death glare, and as I glance at Clark's bent head one last time, I see on the table a bent, mangled coffee spoon. Curious.
But self-preservation skills being what they are, I'm hightailing out of here it as fast as I can. I don't want to be around when Clark comes to his senses and realized that he almost made the biggest mistake of his life. Cause why would Clark Kent want to kiss me, Chloe Sullivan?
The End