Previously…

Automatically, I reached over and brushed it aside, my fingertip tingling when it brushed her skin. I smiled slightly at her. "Why are you in such a hurry?"

"Oh." Bella blushed and ducked her head. "I'm going to Jake's house for dinner… with his Dad…"

My heart dropped into my stomach in disappointment. "'Meet the parents' kind of thing?" I struggled to keep my tone light.

Bella hesitated for a moment, as though unsure of what to say. Eventually she sighed and said, "Something like that."

I just nodded and pursed my lips, turning to look out of the window as the red light turned green so that she wouldn't see the devastation that was evident on my face.

Neither of us spoke another word until we said our goodbyes – and I my thank you – outside of my home. Then, Bella smiled slightly at me and drove off for her date without a backward glance.

~FOM~

There's still a little bit of your taste in my mouth

Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt

It's still a little hard to say "what's going on?"

There's still a little bit of your ghost, your weakness

Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed

You step a little closer each day yet I can't say what's going on

-Cannonball, Damien Rice

Foundation of Memories

Chapter 13 – Kind of the One

Bella POV

Edward had been being extraordinarily sweet all week. Well, extraordinarily sweet for new Edward. It was the kind of thing that would have been pretty normal for old Edward. But I appreciated the gestures all the same, even if his knock-knock jokes really were pretty crap.

Every night after school, Jake and I met up at the rink and did more skating, preparing for nationals. Things certainly weren't awkward after his revelation, which I had been worried would happen. When Thursday, our day off, rolled around I was exhausted, but I still missed the rink. I almost wanted to go along anyway. But I had to catch up on homework and stuff so that would be irresponsible.

I had a little rave on my bed when I got in from school to loosen up, and then popped to the loo before setting up to do my homework. But just as I was about to settle down and start it, a bright yellow note on the floor by my window caught my attention.

My brow furrowed and I went over to pick up the bundle of papers. I peeled the post-it note off of the top and my eyes scanned the familiar handwriting. It read:

Bella,

I'm trying to make it better. I promise, I really am. I've been reading our MSN history… it hasn't done much but it's better than nothing, right?

I already seem to know lots of things about you. It's just there, you know? Read the thing in the notebook under your bed. Maybe one day I'll remember everything :)

-Edward

The sheets of paper under the post-it note were printed sheets of some of our previous MSN conversations. I skim-read a little bit and smiled slightly at the memories, before turning and reaching under my bed for the notebook. I opened it up and came to the last thing written in there. It was titled Good Things About Bella. I smiled and started to read.

Bella is… kind. She's so thoughtful and selfless and she always puts other people in front of herself. She's unknowingly modest. She loves ice skating and laughing and she has the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. She's adorably clumsy when she's on her feet but when she skates she has this air of grace about her that makes me feel proud of her. She's so smart and she can see beauty in things when other people can't. She's not fake, she's just Bella. She has beautiful, beautiful eyes and I'm sure that there is not another pair of eyes in the world the same gorgeous colour as hers. She always makes me feel relaxed, and calm, and happy, and when I'm with her it's like I'm a jigsaw puzzle and someone's slotted in a missing piece that I barely noticed wasn't there before. When it's put into it's rightful place, though, I can't believe that I didn't see it. When we touch I feel a spark. When our eyes meet, I feel weird all over. When she says nice things about me I feel like I'm about to explode with happiness. When she's sad I want to be the one who makes her laugh again. When she's irritated I want to be the one to smooth away the annoyance. When she's happy I want to be the one who made it so. Bella is absolutely one of a kind… and that also makes her kind of the one.

My heart was racing in my chest. 'Kind of the one'? That wasn't something you said about your friends… was it?

Screw homework, I had to get this mess sorted out. He sounded like he was in the same place that I was; friends but wanting more. My only problem was that I knew myself too well to think that I'd ever get the guts up to tell Edward how I really felt. It had been hard enough once; I wasn't sure that I could bear doing it again only to receive a completely different reception.

Nevertheless, moments later I was standing outside of Edward's front door, banging insistently on the door. I could have climbed through his window but I didn't want to have this conversation in his bedroom… I would ask him out for a walk, or something.

But Edward didn't answer the door, as I had expected him to; Esme did. Her whole face lit up when she saw me. "Bella! Sweetie, how are you?"

"Um… super," I muttered, averting my eyes. Then I remembered why I was here. I looked up again. "Is… um… can I speak to Edward?"

"Oh, he's not here at the moment. Actually, you just missed him." A little crease appeared between her eyebrows.

I frowned. "Where is he?"

Esme hesitated. "Um…"

"What?" I started to panic. "What's wrong?"

She chuckled slightly. "Nothing's wrong. I was just a little surprised."

I stared at her blankly.

"He's gone skating. Ice skating."

"Oh."

Esme's eyes watched me carefully, gauging my reaction. She seemed a little surprised, as though my reaction had been anticlimactic. Perhaps she had expected me to throw a hissy fit? Cry, maybe? Maybe I would have done, had Edward not asked me about teaching him earlier on.

"Okay," I said eventually. "Thanks Esme." Then I turned to go.

"Bella, wait," she called after me quietly.

I turned back. "Yes?"

"He's still the same person, you know. He still loves you, you know. He just… he just doesn't know it yet." She looked down sadly.

I nodded. "I know."

~FOM~

I went to the ice rink. I watched from the side for a while, a little scared about going over and just throwing myself into it. But when it looked like Felix and Marcus were starting to grate on his last nerve, I knew that it was my time to intercede.

I could never have guessed that skating with Edward would be so fun. Actually, that was a lie. I could have totally guessed that. I had always longed for Edward to come and skate with me; I had always known that it would be fun. I had stopped wishing that after the accident, though, thinking that skating with an Edward who didn't know me would just be awkward.

It wasn't.

It was freaking hilarious.

Edward fell down a lot, being a beginner, and he tried to push me over but my body just stayed as it was; upright. I helped him along when he wasn't too stubborn to defy my suggestions and he teased me, calling me a show-off when I did little jumps and spins.

There was a little wariness in the air, a little tension, but mostly there were smiles and laughs. I didn't ask him about the note, just mentioned it in passing, and he didn't ask anything else in return. I felt that something had passed between us, though. Maybe an unspoken promise. A promise of a forever… eventually.

It wasn't until after we had gotten off of the ice, though Edward's head was instantly covered in a bag of the stuff thanks to his massive fall, that I remembered my promise to Jacob. I had agreed earlier in the week to go round to his house and have dinner with him and his dad. He said that we wouldn't have to do anything couple-y, that his father would just assume. I still felt a little uneasy at pulling the wool over his eyes. Or not so much pulling the wool over since we weren't technically lying… perhaps we were just leaving the wool where it was.

But I didn't remember this promise until Jake rang to remind me; and inform me that I was already late.

I drove Edward home as fast as I could, while keeping to the speed limit (having a cop for a dad made you feel obligated to abide by these sorts of rules), and we bantered some more about Alice in Wonderland and the characters. I had deliberately brought that up to change the subject from my sort-of-date with Jacob. When he had asked, "'Meet the parents' kind of thing?", I had heard the pain in his voice, and I had desperately wanted to tell him the truth. But Jacob was one of my best friends, and I couldn't betray his trust like that. Especially not to Edward, who he had never gotten on with.

So I just muttered "Something like that" and hoped that one day I would be able to tell him the truth and we could laugh about it.

#x#

Billy's eyes moved from Jacob to me as I cut through the small steak on my plate. My knife made a horrible squeaking noise against the plate. Other than that, the silence continued.

Billy took a sip of his beer. He put the can back down on the table and then cleared his throat. "So… Bella… how long have you and Jacob been dating?"

I looked across the table at him, worried that I would say something wrong. "Well… uh…"

"It kind of just happened," Jake supplied for me. "We've been friends for so long that it's hard to… put a date on it, right baby?"

"Mmm hmm." I nodded and took a mouthful of food so that I would have time to think if Billy asked me another question.

"Huh." Billy scratched the back of his neck.

The rest of dinner was just as awkward. Billy asked questions that neither of us really knew the answer to, Jacob bluffed his way through everything, and I sat in silence wishing that we had been better prepared for this. Jacob and I washed up together after dinner; he made a show of slapping my ass with the tea-towel and I joined in as well as I could. But Jacob was better at the act than I was so I mostly just left him to it. Then, we had a game of Scrabble. As Jacob placed the word endoscope across a triple-word score square, effectively winning hands down, I found myself wondering what Edward was doing, and what he'd have done had I been pretending to be his girlfriend. And then I remembered our real first date and realised that we'd have done something a lot more romantic than Scrabble. I sighed.

After we had packed Scrabble away, the three of us went into the living room to watch some TV before I had to go home. Jacob and I sat on the loveseat, taking a good few minutes to get settled so that his arm was around me and I was almost on his lap. Sitting like this with Jacob felt completely natural, comfortable, but not like it felt when I sat with Edward. When I was with Edward, it was exhilarating; with Jacob, it was nice. Just nice. Because we were just friends and we could never be anything more.

Billy's eyes were trained on us rather than the TV so I occasionally felt Jacob's hand on my thigh, or his lips at my hair. That was uncomfortable. Probably more so for him, but at least he didn't feel like he was cheating on his neighbour/best friend/unofficial ex-boyfriend… or whatever the hell Edward was.

After about ten minutes, Billy sighed. Then he said, "Jacob."

Jake and I looked at him.

Billy stared at his son for a long moment. "She's not your girlfriend, is she?" His gaze flickered to me and he offered me a small apologetic smile before returning it to Jacob.

Jake ducked his head. "No," he mumbled.

"It's okay, Jacob." Billy looked down at the floor. "I'm a little hurt that you don't feel that you can tell me but… well, I guess I understand why."

"I'm sorry."

I stood up, not wanting to intrude. I turned to Jacob, fiddling with my fingers. "I'll go and let you guys talk, okay? I'll see you tomorrow at the rink?"

Jake hesitated, but then nodded. "Sure. See you tomorrow."

"See you round, Billy," I said to his dad, unable to meet the man's eyes for fear of him seeing me as the worst person in the world for lying to him.

But, as I walked past his wheelchair, his hand came out and took my wrist, stopping me. He looked up into my eyes. "Thank you, Bella."

I smiled a little. "Anytime."

#x#

When I pulled up outside my house I saw that the light in my bedroom was on. My brow furrowed as I got out of my car and headed for the house. "Hey, Dad!" I called as I kicked the front door shut behind me, to let him know that I was back. Then I went straight upstairs. I opened my bedroom door to find Edward sat in the middle of my carpet, old photos strewn all around him. I beamed. "Hey," I said softly, dropping my bag by the door and shutting it quietly behind me.

Edward glanced up. "Hi."

I manoeuvred my way through the photos to sit down beside him. "I could have you arrested for breaking and entering, you know."

Edward looked up at me properly now, a little smirk on his face. "Actually, your dad let me in."

"Oh." I dropped my eyes, looking at the photos all around me. "Where did you get all of these?"

"They're mine. Alice helped me find them. I thought I'd bring them round here because…" He trailed off, concentrating on the photos instead.

"Because?"

"No, it's silly."

"Just tell me."

Edward pursed his lips and then muttered, "I feel closer to you here. It's like… well… you're kind of right here, if you know what I mean? Well, obviously you don't but-"

"No, I do." I reached forward and picked up a picture of Edward and I stood side-by-side by the swings in the park, dressed in matching blue duffel coats (I had insisted on getting the same as Edward, even if it meant wearing boys' clothes). We were about eight and were both missing one of our front teeth, beaming goofily and poking our tongues through the holes. I laughed. "Hey, look at this. I remember that day! It was so cold, but your mum bought us ice cream anyway."

Edward narrowed his eyes and stared at it for a long minute. Then he said slowly, "No, not ice cream. Mango and papaya sorbet. You wouldn't have anything else."

I tried not to show how pleased I was that he remembered, not wanting to come across as patronising. "Admit it; your mum thought I was a stroppy cow."

"Not at all. My mum loves you."

"She can love me and think I'm a stroppy cow you know. I know that my dad thinks that from time to time."

Edward smiled. "Well… maybe a little bit."

I laughed, and leant into his side. I breathed him in. All of my brain cells must have evaporated because the words that came out of my mouth next were the last things that I had expected to say while we were sat in the middle of my bedroom surrounded by photos and remembering my tantrum over mango and papaya sorbet. "I love you."

Everything went still. Or maybe I did, and everything else just seemed to. Time stopped for a while.

Edward stood up. He started pacing up and down the room, occasionally standing on the odd photograph. I watched as his foot came down on our smiling faces repeatedly. After what seemed like forever, he spoke. "What about Jacob?"

"What about Jacob?"

Edward stared at me. "You just went to fucking meet his parents, Bella!"

I knotted my fingers together. Sometimes I hated my stupid mouth. "Um… well…" I cleared my throat and mumbled, "Jacob's gay, Edward. I was his… I dunno… pretend girlfriend? For his dad… but he found out anyway because I'm a crappy liar so… um… but… yeah, he's really not my boyfriend or anything like-"

I was cut off by Edward kneeling down in front of me and slowly reaching around to cup the back of my neck. The index finger of his other hand came to my chin and he tilted my head up so that my eyes met his wide green ones. "He's gay?"

"Um… yeah, you can't tell anyone tho-"

"Thank God," Edward mumbled, and then he leant forward and suddenly we were kissing. His lips were soft against mine, the small amount of stubble that dotted his chin scratched at the skin of my face, and his hand on the back of my neck moved to bury in my hair. He pulled away after a second because he was still crouching down and it couldn't have been very comfortable for him. "I love you, too, Bella. I know that I don't remember much but I will and I… if there's anything that I do remember it's that I've always loved you. Always. I-"

I smiled coyly. "Stop talking." Then I pushed on his shoulders until he was lying on his back on my floor. I straddled him and bent my face to his, kissing him with all of the strength I had. We lay there on my floor for a long time. Even once we stopped kissing we lay on top of the scattered photos, side-by-side, staring at the ceiling in silence.

Edward was the one to break the silence. "I want to make a scrapbook," he said randomly.

"What do you mean?"

"All of these photos. I want to make copies of them and make a scrapbook. With you. Every photo can have its own page and we can write things around them that we remember. I will remember, Bella. I promise."

I bit my lip. "Edward, it's okay. You don't have to feel pressurised to remember."

"I want to. I want to remember every moment I've ever spent with you."

"I'd prefer you didn't remember some," I joked.

"Like what?" He turned his head and looked at me. "Tell me something that you wouldn't want me to know. I want to know it all, Bella. The good and the bad."

I blushed. "Um… well… we camped out in your garden one time and you told me scary stories and I got too scared so I went inside and slept in your bed instead. You called me 'chicken' instead of Bella for three weeks afterwards. Then I hit you so hard that your nose bled. You didn't call me chicken after that."

He grinned, one side pulling up higher than the other as usual. "That sounds like you."

I elbowed him.

"Ow!"

"You practically asked for it."

"Okay, now tell me a good time we had together."

My mind instantly went to the last Valentine's Day, our meadow picnic. But I veered away from it. I didn't even know if I could tell him about that without crying. And he might be hurt if I cried. He might think that he was different. But he wasn't, not really. He was still my Edward. And he still loved me. I tilted my head up and kissed his lips chastely. "Right now," I whispered.

Without moving, Edward reached to one side and grabbed a box. He tipped it on its side, reached inside, and brought out a Polaroid camera. He held it in the air, pointing it at us. "Say cheese."

But I had a better idea. I tilted my chin again, and pressed my lips against his jaw, letting my eyelids fall over my eyes.

The snap of the camera sounded and Edward and I sat up as the photo developed. We waited for the picture to come through and then both looked at it. It was perfect, even with our messy hair and swollen lips and the untidy photographs beneath us. "That can go on the first page," Edward said. He reached into the box again and pulled out a proper, professional-looking, ring-bound scrapbook.

"Woah," I said, my eyebrows raising.

"I'm not going to do this halfway," he told me, opening it to the first page. "It's too important to do a half-assed job."

"Yeah, who'd want to show the kids a crapbook, huh?" I teased, and then froze when I realised what I had just hinted at.

Edward glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. Then he laughed and said, "Our kids will not be seeing this. That would be far too embarrassing. I mean, look at that one!" He pointed at a photograph by his foot that was of us poking our tongues out at the camera.

I joined in the teasing by pointing at one of us when we were about two both with chocolate mousse moustaches, trying to ignore the thrill that was still buzzing through me at the words our kids. "Or that one."

Edward tucked the corners of the photo under the metal tabs on the first page. He reached into the box again and brought out a golden gel pen. I wondered whether that was the box equivalent to Mary Poppins' handbag as Edward wrote in his neat calligraphy across the top of the black page. When he popped the cap back on the pen, I leant forward to see what he had written.

The salt to my pepper. The peanut butter to my jelly. The roast beef to my Yorkshire pudding. The Bella to my Edward.

I smiled. And then I kissed him.

I could really get used to this.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

I was going to leave you a cliffie here but… well, then I decided to be nice ;)

I'm so sorry sorry sorry about the length between updates on this and every other fic I have posted. As I said in the PTP update, RL's been getting in the way of everything and, as I think most of you know, I'm editing THWTLAL in the hope of publishing one day :) I am going to finish this and then work on VTN and TDIB because I need to work on one fic at a time alongside my original story and editing THWTLAL. PTP will continue to be updated as it's a collaboration :)

I believe that there is only one more chapter of this and an epilogue. There may be two more chapters, but we'll see. It depends on how much I deviate from my plan lol.

Next chapter, Bella has something special to show Edward… guesses are, of course, more than welcome ;)

Please let me know what you thought of Jacob's coming out and Bella's… well, coming out. Lol. Big chapter, huh? Does that make it worth the wait? :)

I will update soon this time, I promise :)

Thanks so much for sticking with me!

-Steph