DO YOU SOLEMNLY SWEAR…

Part the Second

Author's Note: The central conceit of the first part of this story was that the reader would make up their own ending to the story. But based on the various reviews/messages I received (for which I thank you), I started thinking of how I would continue the story. So after much foot dragging on my part, here is another cruel chapter of our story…

White took a step closer to Castle. "You're in love with Kate Beckett, aren't you?"

"Well, that's a hard..."

"Yes or no," White protested. "It's a yes or no question."

Castle looked pleadingly at the judge. The judge couldn't meet his gaze.

"Answer the question," the judge said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Castle looked at Beckett. She was looking at the floor. Ryan and Esposito were on the edge of their bench.

Castle took a deep breath and uttered the one word that could change everything.

"No."

There was a collective gasp from the courtroom. After the anxious expectation which had throttled all sound from the court except the voices of the public defender, the judge and Castle, the room exploded in noise. Ryan and Esposito half-rose from their places. The jurors whispered to one another. The spectators' voices rose to an angry buzz.

Castle cast a guilty glace at Beckett, whose gaze was riveted to the floor as if the dirty tile had hypnotized her.

Barry White, the defense attorney, stared at Castle with narrowed eyes. "Need I remind you, Mr. Castle, that you're under oath. Do you really mean to tell me…"

He was interrupted by the sharp rap of the judge's gavel. "Silence in the courtroom!" the judge barked. The noise level dropped only slightly, so the judge banged his gavel again. "Order in the courtroom!" he said, louder.

Slowly, the sounds died away.

Castle looked up at the judge, his eyes pleading. The judge was not looking at him, but rather out at the spectators. Castle followed his gaze and felt his chest constrict. Kate Beckett, without looking up, stood and edged her way past Ryan and Esposito, then hurried from the courtroom. Ryan started to follow, but Esposito grabbed his arm and pulled him back onto the bench.

Castle gripped the railing in front of the witness chair, his knuckles going white. Ryan closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, while Esposito turned and gave Castle a look he usually reserved for murder suspects and the stuff on the bottom of his shoe.

White cleared his throat and Castle looked at him with cold, narrowed eyes.

"Mister Castle," White said, his voice dripping with contempt. "Do you mean to tell me that…"

He was interrupted again by the rap of the judge's gavel. "We're going to take a ten minute recess," the judge said.

"All rise," the bailiff said, but the judge was already halfway off the bench and out the door to his chambers by the time he got out the second word. The other bailiff hurried over to usher the jury out of the jury box and back to the jury room.

Castle leapt from his seat and scrambled out of the witness box. The public defender moved a step to his left, as if to block his path, and Castle none-too-gently shouldered him out of the way. Assistant District Attorney Erin Miller reached out a hand as Castle hurried past, but Castle pulled his arm away and slapped open the gate on the 'bar', the railing separating the spectators from the attorneys' tables. Several of the spectators – the badges around their necks identifying them as reporters – reached out for Castle as he passed, but he shrugged each off in turn.

Then his arm was gripped by an iron hand. He jerked his head to the side to see who had the gall to grab him like that… and found him face to face with a cold-eyed Esposito. "Let her go," Esposito said.

Castle tried to pull his arm away, but Esposito's fingers dug harder into his arm. "Let her go," he said again.

Castle suddenly went limp. "You don't understand," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"No," Esposito said. "No, I don't." Then he turned and walked out of the courtroom.

Castle stood there for a moment, staring at the closed doors. Then he turned with a start when he realized that Ryan was standing next to him.

"I didn't…" Castle said. "I couldn't…"

Ryan clapped a hand on Castle's shoulder and gave it a squeeze, just a little too hard to be friendly. "I think maybe you should avoid Beckett for awhile," he said. "In fact, maybe you should avoid the precinct for a bit."

Without waiting for a response, he turned and followed Esposito out the door.

Castle stood there, deflated, for a long moment, oblivious of everyone else in the courtroom. Then he clenched his hands into fists and turned back toward the front of the courtroom. His hot glare bored holes in the back of the public defender, who stood at his counsel table with his back to Castle.

Castle took a step forward, only to start in surprise as ADA Miller stepped in front of him. "Let's step outside, Rick," she said.

"That little…" Rick hissed.

"Outside," Miller said, more forcefully. She grabbed Castle by the arm and practically dragged him out of the courtroom.

Martha Rogers stood in the doorway of her son's office and waited. Castle was staring blankly at the screen of his laptop, just like he had been for the last three days. Martha shook her head and sighed. She hadn't seen him like this since Kyra Blaine had run off to Europe without him.

She waited a little longer, but he still sat, unmoving, the glow of the computer's screen illuminating his haggard face. Martha sighed, took a couple quiet steps back, and then strode into the office as if she had just breezed in the door.

"Congratulations, Richard," she said, holding up the front page of the New York Ledger's Metro section with the headline 'Killer Account Guilty On All Counts.' "You won."

Castle looked up at her and blinked. There was a pause and Martha could almost see the wheels straining to turn in his head. "Won?" he asked, his voice hoarse from disuse. He blinked again, and stared at the paper, realization slowly dawning. He shook his head. "Won." he said. "So said King Pyrrhus."

Martha walked over and laid the newpaper on his desk. Stepping behind him, she put a hand on his shoulder. "Have you called her?" she asked.

Castle hung his head. "I can't," he said. "Not after what I put her through."

"Hey. Kiddo," she said, spinning his chair around so that he was facing her. "She deserves to know."

Castle shook his head. "She must hate me," he said.

"A little," Martha agreed. Castle looked up at her with a look that said, 'Thanks a lot.'

"But you have to remember," Martha said, continuing. "Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference."

Castle reached up and laid his hand over his mother's. "How did you get to be so wise?" he asked.

"Years of hard living," she said. "That and a good memory for dialogue. That was the line from a play I did a couple years ago in summer stock."

Castle rolled his eyes.

"Call her," Martha said. "Or better yet. Go see her. Talk to her. She deserves to know."

Castle stood up and wrapped his mother in a hug. "Thank you, mother."

He released her and started toward the door.

"But take a shower first," Martha called after him. "You smell like three day old sweat socks."

Castle turned and gave her a lopsided grin. "And there's the Martha we know and love."

A slow drip, drip, drip fell from the brim of Castle's fedora and he shivered with a chill that his black trench coat failed to ward off. A cold drizzle had blanketed New York and Castle had been standing in the rain for nearly an hour, huddled in the shadows near the door to Beckett's building. "Doesn't anyone in her building ever go out?" he muttered.

A woman hurried past, practically dragging a bedraggled dog on a leash behind her. The dog looked up at Castle with pleading eyes and Castle nodded. "I know how you feel, buddy," he said softly.

Finally, a couple darted out of a cab and ran up the steps to Beckett's apartment building. Castle walked with over-emphasized nonchalance toward them, timing his gait carefully. The man opened the door and held it for the woman, who dashed inside. Castle quickened his pace. The man ducked through the door. Castle ran up the steps and caught the door just before it closed.

He slipped inside and stopped in the entryway, shaking the water from his hat and coat. He really needed to talk to Beckett about her living arrangements. If only she lived in a building with a doorman, he could have charmed his way in an hour ago.

The couple had stopped at the elevator and was eying him warily. Castle put on his most disarming smile and gave them a little wave. "Lovely weather we're having, huh?" he called.

The elevator dinged. The man shrugged and nodded, then herded the woman into the elevator. Castle waited until the doors closed before he let out his breath.

He stepped over to the elevators and stopped. He stared at the 'up' button for a long minute. He reached out to the button slowly, then dropped his hand to his side. He closed his eyes and silently counted to three, then opened them and quickly stabbed the button.

It seemed an eternity before the elevator doors finally opened. Castle started into the elevator, only to stop short as an obese man with greasy black hair started out. "Oh. Ah. Sorry," Castle said, dancing to the left and then the right to get out of the man's way, finally taking a few steps back when he realized that the man's girth required almost the entire doorway.

"Evening," Castle said with a nod and an apologetic smile as the man scowled and grunted past him. Castle turned to watch the man waddle away, started, and turned back just as the elevator doors closed.

"Great," Castle muttered, stabbing the 'up' button again.

The elevator doors opened almost immediately. Castle paused and took a deep breath. The doors started to close and he had to lunge forward and slap at them to make them open again.

He stepped into the elevator, sighed, and shook his head, then stared at the row of buttons. Suddenly, he couldn't remember which floor Beckett lived on. He rubbed a hand over his face. "Get a hold of yourself, Rick," he muttered.

He pulled out his cell phone, checked her address, and then pushed the button for the fifth floor. The elevator gave a groan and a lurch and then, with the mechanical equivalent of a wheeze, began to ascend.

Castle took a step back and watched the floor indicator flash from one, to two, to three, feeling all the while like a man walking the thirteen steps up to the gallows.

Finally the elevator lurched to a halt and doors slowly ground open.

Castle peeked his head out of the doors, and looked up and down the hallway, only to have the elevator doors slam into his shoulders. "Ow!" he called, and leapt out of the elevator as the doors slowly opened and then slammed shut behind him.

Castle glanced up to the heavens. "Okay, okay," he said. "I get the message."

He swallowed hard and started down the hallway toward Beckett's door.

He stopped in front of her door and took a deep breath. Then, after a long pause, took another. He balled his hand into a fist and ran his thumb over his closed fingers. Taking another deep breath, he raised his hand and paused. Closing his eyes tightly, he scrunched up his face and quickly rapped three times on the door.

The 'rap', 'rap,' 'rap' seemed to echo down the hall like gunshots. Castle's eyes went wide and he glanced quickly up and down the hallway, half expecting all the doors on the hall to come flying open.

There were several clicks from inside Beckett's apartment, the sound of deadbolts being thrown and the chain being latched. Castle would have run, but his legs seemed to have gone numb from the knees down.

The door opened slightly and Beckett's familiar brown eyes appeared above the door chain.

"Castle?" she asked, incredulously.

"Beckett," he said. "Um. Ah. Hi. Can I come in?"

There was a long pause. "It's really not a good…"

"Kate," Castle said. "Please."

There was another long pause and then Beckett closed the door. There was a rattle as she undid the chain and then she opened the door, but stepped into the opening, blocking his way. She didn't have on any makeup and she was dressed in sweatpants and a ragged New York Police Academy sweatshirt that drooped over one shoulder. Castle thought she looked beautiful.

"Castle," she said, her voice weary. "I appreciate your coming all the way over here…" She paused and looked him over, seeing that he was soaking wet. "… in the rain." Another pause. "But really. Everything's fine. I should have called… Before. But…"

"Beckett, please," Castle said, his voice a little stronger, a little less pleading. "It's important. Official police business."

"Official business?" Beckett said, raising one eyebrow.

Castle raised a hand. "I swear," he said.

Beckett frowned a little and then took a step back and to the side, allowing him entrance.

"Let me take your coat," she said. "You're soaking wet."

Castle shrugged off the coat and handed it and his hat to Beckett. She took them gingerly and stepped in to hang the coat over the curtain rod in her bathroom. She came out and motioned to the couch. "Have a seat," she said.

Castle took a seat on the couch and Beckett settled into an overstuffed chair across from him. She started to pull her knees up to her chest, stopped with a start, and then sat upright in the chair, her hands primly in her lap.

"So what can I do for you, Castle?" she asked.

"It's about my testimony at the Giardino trial," Castle said.

Beckett waved a hand at him. "No," she said quickly. "No, you don't have to explain."

"Kate," he said. "Please."

"No," she said again, not looking at him. "We appreciate your testimony. We couldn't have gotten the conviction without you. Your testimony was crucial in putting a murderer behind bars and I'm sorry I doubted your ability to give clear, concise and…" her voice caught a little, "truthful testimony in the case."

Castle reached over and grabbed her hand. Startled, she looked down at his hand and then up into his eyes. Those clear, blue eyes.

"Detective Beckett," Castle said softly, reaching out with his other hand and placing it gently upon hers. "I hereby surrender myself to your custody."

Beckett's eyes clouded over and she looked at him and gave a little shake of her head. "You… You what?"

"I told you this was an official visit," he said, the corner of his mouth twitching up ever-so-slightly. "I have come to confess to a crime."

"And… And what crime is that?" Beckett asked, squeezing his hand.

Castle broke into a full smile and uttered the one word that could change everything.

"Perjury," he said.