It it totally unfair that I don't own Junjou Romantica. That honor goes to Nakamura Shungiku-sensei. Sigh.

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On the rare occasions when their schedules meshed, Kamijou Hiroki thought it was nice to sit down to a nice, peaceful meal with his lover. Of course, knowing his lover, Kusama Nowaki, a nice, peaceful meal was probably out of the question. The younger man always seemed to find some extremely embarrassing question to ask or observation to make, and even mealtime was not immune to his folly. Still, Hiroki resolved to enjoy his meal, and Nowaki's company, for as long as the giant idiot would let him.

Which in this case lasted about two minutes.

"Hiro-san, how do I compare to your previous lovers?"

Hiroki choked and sputtered, his chopsticks dropping to the tabletop with a loud clatter. "Nowaki! What the hell???"

"I asked you--"

"I know WHAT you asked me, dummy! I just don't understand WHY!" He glared indignantly at the young medical intern.

Nowaki looked down at his plate, preferring its contents to the assistant professor's grimace of displeasure. "It's… important to me, Hiro-san. You know you're the only lover I've ever had, right?"

'What the fuck? No, I didn't know that, you dumb bastard!' Hiroki thought, his face going pale. "Um, n-no, Nowaki, actually, I didn't know that," he stammered. "When did you ever tell me that?"

Nowaki glanced up, startled. "Hiro-san didn't know?? I thought for sure that you could tell."

"Well, I couldn't. And what does that have to do with it, anyway?" the older man snapped. 'And why are we still having this conversation???' Hiroki thought to himself, irritated.

"I know Hiro-san is more experienced than I am…" Nowaki began.

"Don't tell me you're getting jealous now? That was all before I met you!"

"And I know some of your partners must have been more experienced, too…" the taller man continued as though his lover hadn't spoken.

"Just how many partners do you think I've had?" Hiroki challenged.

Nowaki just quelled him with a look.

"A-alright, so I'm not exactly pure as the driven snow," Hiroki had the grace to blush. "But I still don't understand why you asked me THAT."

"Because I don't have any other experience, I need to know how I compare. I want to be sure I'm making Hiro-san as happy as possible."

"After all the time we've been together, you're worried about that NOW?"

"Yes, Hiro-san."

"Have I ever complained? Even once?"

"No, Hiro-san, but you wouldn't. Hiro-san's not the type to tell me if there's something more I could be doing, something you want that I don't know about. I don't want to give you any reason to be dissatisfied. I want to make you love me even more. I want to make you so happy that you'll never want to leave me, but in the end, I'm still nothing more than an inexperienced brat. Please, Hiro-san, I want to catch up to you in every way. I really need to know how I compare."

Hiroki glared silently into Nowaki's sad-puppy-dog gaze. 'Damn it,' he pondered, 'this whole situation is fraught with landmines! How do I explain it to him without hurting his feelings?' He closed his eyes, sighed deeply, and took the plunge. "Listen, Nowaki, I'm going to be perfectly honest with you here, but you need to understand a few things."

"Hiro-san?"

"First, I'm only going to say this once, so you better listen carefully."

"Okay, Hiro-san."

"Second, I want you to hear me out completely before you go off half-cocked. I will NOT tolerate any dramatics."

"Y-yes, Hiro-san. I'll try."

"Don't try, do it. And third, if you EVER tell anyone I said this, I will deny it to my dying day and for ten years afterwards. This is just between you and me. I don't want to see it in one of Akihiko's damn Junai Egoist books!"

Nowaki chuckled at this last part. 'Hiro-san is so cute!' he thought happily as he nodded his understanding.

"Okay. As you know, I've had quite a few more partners than you have. And I won't call them 'lovers', because, frankly, I didn't love most of them, understand?"

Nowaki frowned, but motioned for Hiroki to continue.

"Anyway, many of those partners had more experience than you do. And some of them even have more technical skill than you. But I want you to understand something, Nowaki, and this is the most important part, so listen carefully: I have never had another lover who has made me feel more cherished than you do. Never." A deep pink suffused the smaller man's face, but he pressed on. "And for me, that surpasses all the experience of my previous partners added up together. So don't keep thinking that you need to catch up to them, or to me. You're already so far ahead, if you get any further, it'll be hard for me to see you."

Suddenly, warm arms wrapped him in a passionate hug from behind. "Hiro-san!!!"

"Idiot! Didn't I tell you, no dramatics?!?" Hiroki complained, trying to wriggle free.

Nowaki caught the squirming man up in his arms, a brilliant smile wreathing his face. "But I love Hiro-san so much! Let's make love all night long!"

"Put me down, stupid! What about dinner?" the smaller man protested.

Nowaki's smile turned seductive. "I'm sorry, Hiro-san, but dinner will have to wait, because I don't think I can." He carried his lover toward the bedroom, and Hiroki resigned himself to leftovers for breakfast.