So, I've been watching this absolutely wonderful show called "George Gently". It's a detective show set in the '60s and it is quite focused on a wonderful father-son –ish relationship. I warmly recommend it.
There's a vid here, in case you want to see the characters: http: //www. youtube. com/ watch?v= 314htZBfS8I It's intended slash, but I suggest you ignore that. I can't see anything slashy about them at all. To me they're all father-son.
Also, here are pics, from the Eternal Lee website: http:// eternallee. com/ page57 GentlyInnoc. html and http: //eternallee. com/ page38Geo. html
This fic is set after the, so far, last episode. In the end we are led to understand that John Bacchus leaves for London, not really intending to come back, this in spite of Gently wanting him to stay.
John Bacchus was nervously giving his hair a last combing through before he assembled enough courage to get out his car and into the station. If someone asked why he bothered he wouldn't be able to answer; it wasn't as if it would make any difference. He felt unnervingly much like the proverbial son returning. Expect, he had a feeling his welcome wouldn't be all that welcoming. He had, after all, ignored his boss's words, told him that having a career was more important than their friendship and left for London with no intention of really coming back.
And yet, now he was back. Part of him ached with wounded pride just admitting to himself that Gently had been right all along. The seminar had been little more than a repeat of the snide comments Gently made about the Met. It had taken John little more than a day to grasp this and once he had the dilemma of whether to return to Gently, something which he was convinced would be utterly humiliating, or to stay on and let people know he was available, which would be a complete dismissal of the principles Gently had taught him, gripped him with an iron fist. He did in fact agree with Gently on a lot of points. Corruption couldn't be tolerated. The general dishonesty of the force couldn't be tolerated. And taking a job offered to him by these people, promising to follow them rather than the law, went completely against all that.
He supposed Gently would be pleased to hear that. One more converted to his puritan way of thinking. He would probably not be pleased with John returning and asking to have his job back. It was true that he hadn't officially resigned, but it had been understood that he wasn't coming back. And now he was, and it was embarrassing as hell.
Steeling himself, he exited the car. He could do this, of course he could. The familiar building seemed to be looming in front of him, larger and more imposing than it had ever been before, taunting him. In whatever way a building could taunt you. The equally familiar hallways weren't all that frightening.
Finally standing outside the dreaded the door he smoothed his hair, noticing that his hand was shaking a little. He hated this. Before he could change his mind, he knocked. A tense second went by before he heard Gently's murmur asking him to come him. Well, asking the visitor to come in. If he had known it was John it would probably have been somewhere closer to "go to hell". Quickly, he entered.
"'Ello, gov", he began with a decidedly nervous smiled. Gently looked up, a faint look of surprise on his face. For a moment he appeared to be lost for words, his eye brows simply climbing higher. John squirmed uncomfortably.
"Hello, John", Gently finally greeted. After that he went silent. John wanted to hit him. He had hoped, really hoped, that the older man would initiate the conversation and thus stripping John of that horrible task. He swallowed and nervously shifted on his feet.
"I, eh… suppose you might be sort of, eh… surprised to see me here", he said awkwardly.
"Yes", Gently replied simply. "Yes, I am."
John really wished he had said something more. Like asking for an explanation. Because then he would have to give one. And that was entirely different from volunteering one. What was even worse was that he knew that Gently knew this and that he just wanted to torture John in elaborate ways and thought this was more fun than screaming at him.
"I… eh, went to the seminar", he started and hesitated, waiting for Gently to jump in and start demanding explanations for his atrocious behaviour. He didn't. "And I… eh… well, the thing is; you were right."
He wanted to die. He was going to die. The utter humiliation of admitting that he had been a bloody idiot was going to kill him.
"Right about what, John?" Gently asked calmly, with mild interest. And John just knew that he was doing it to torture him. He just knew it.
"About the seminar, gov", he replied meekly. Things couldn't get any more embarrassing than this anyway.
"So...?"
John hated that reasonable and patient voice. He hated that it forced him to be calm and explain himself. He hated that Gently couldn't use his bloody detective skills and work out why he was there.
"So I felt like I couldn't take a job with people who taught you stuff like that and I decided…" he swallowed; this was the really embarrassing part, "and I decided that I kind of like working with you."
He refused to meet Gently's eyes, but he did look up slightly to see the smile on Gently's lips. Which was probably a good sign. Or not, if it was a mocking smile. Which John really couldn't tell. The other man kept quiet, and John had no other choice but to continue.
"And well… I was kind of wondering if I could have my job back?" he finished with an awkward smile. He still refused to look up; instead he kept his eyes firmly locked on the ground, studying his shoes with undivided interest.
"I wasn't aware you'd lost it", Gently replied evenly. John's head snapped up and for the first time that day he met his boss's eyes. Gently seemed genuinely pleased to see him there. Surprised, sure, and probably a bit smug but all in all pleased rather than something else.
"Eh… no?" John ventured, really having no idea whatsoever what else to say.
"John…", Gently began, sounding exasperated. "I am glad you're back. Trust me on that."
"All right."
After that he was silent. He had no idea what else to say. Gently seemed to think he had said something that should make a profound impression on John and solve all his problems. That wasn't the case. Of course he was glad that Gently was glad but he had no clue what Gently being glad meant. And he just couldn't shake off the feeling that Gently would start yelling any moment. John shifted nervously, clearing his throat and once again stealing a glance at Gently from under his fringe.
"So… eh, I can have my job back?" he finally asked, his voice a bit shrill.
"You never lost it, John", Gently replied and this time there was no exasperation in his voice, just sombre conviction.
"But, gov!" John exclaimed. "I left! I wasn't just... I mean, I was seriously leaving!"
He wasn't sure why he was upset. It was what he wanted after all; his job. And if Gently was willing to pretend that nothing had happened so should he be. But he wasn't. It seemed too much as if Gently wasn't taking him seriously. He had quit, damn it! Sort of, anyways. But the point was that he didn't want to be welcomed back like a child who had thrown a tantrum and came back apologising two minutes later. He had been gone for almost a week.
"I know that, John", Gently replied, and now he was definitely impatient again, "and I knew that you might not be coming back. But you did, and I'm glad. For some unfathomable reason I actually like you."
"Oh", was all John managed to say. He hated the feeling of… pride? that rose in him. He did like and respect Gently. Respect mostly, actually, but he did not want to desire the praise of the man. He was beyond that. He was a grown man and didn't need reassurance or encouragement.
"However", Gently interrupted his self-berating, a bit louder and with a somewhat stern glare, "I am not all that happy with you behaviour."
"Eh… I'm sorry?" John tried uncertainly. Gently had been unhappy with his behaviour quite a lot in the time they had known each other and it had always passed after some time. But it seemed as if this time was more serious.
"You know, John, I don't think you are."
John opened his mouth to interrupt, assuring his boss that he was in fact very, very sorry and that he would never do it again. Just to realise that he wasn't particularly sorry. He was sorry he had ignored Gently and gone off to London, but only because it meant he had to come back and admit his mistake. He closed his mouth.
"You, in the time of a few days, ignored me, disobeyed me, lied to me and showed complete disregard for your own safety. I think you should be sorry."
"C'mon, gov!" John laughed nervously. "Are you serious?"
Gently regarded him coldly, his eyebrows slightly raised.
"Of course I am, John", he replied after a moment of silence. "Very much so."
"But it didn't do any harm", John argued with his eyes widened in incomprehension. Gently gave him a long, considering look before shaking his head and tiredly rubbing his temples.
"I can't believe no-one has explained this to you..." he muttered, almost too low for John to hear.
"Explained what?" John demanded, with an annoyed edge to his voice. Gently looked up.
"That there are, in normal society, certain rules."
John rolled his eyes at the older man. How old did he think John was? He knew that there were informal rules to be followed, but he hadn't been rude to Gently. Gently had hardly been affected by his actions at all and it was entirely unfair that he should lecture John about it.
"I'm not talking about saying please", Gently snapped, "I'm talking about showing respect for those around you. Not lying, for example."
John once again rolled his eyes. He didn't see why him telling a tiny, tiny lie seemed to anger Gently so much. He didn't understand why it mattered.
"Don't roll your eyes at me", the older man ordered harshly.
"Sorry", John apologised without a flicker of remorse, "but I don't see why it matters, gov. It didn't do any harm or anything."
"That's because you're just like a child!" Gently exasperatedly exclaimed, casting his eyes heavenwards as if praying for help. "Actions have consequences, John, but you don't seem to get that."
"Bloody explain, then!" John cried. He hated it when Gently accused him of being a child. He hated it when Gently was discontent with him in any way, actually.
Gently took a deep breath, looking at first as if he was about to refuse and start yelling but then he nodded with a resigned expression and closed his eyes for a brief moment. To John it seemed as if he was preparing a speech. Or more likely, a scathing lecture.
"Actions do have consequences, John", he began calmly, "If you hit someone, they're likely to hit you right back. And if you lie to me and disobey me, I won't be able to trust you."
John felt a sinking sensation in his stomach. Gently wouldn't trust him. He'd be set aside and Gently would move on. He had had a feeling it had been a bad idea to disobey, but only because Gently would be pissed off if he did. Not because it would mean losing Gently's trust.
"You can't trust me anymore?" he asked quietly, uncertainly. To his surprise Gently's features softened and he smiled sadly.
"I don't know if I can, John", he said. "If I know that you have no issues with lying to me and disobeying I can't, but... well, you're really just a kid and kids mess up. I'm not going to push you away because of one mistake."
"So... ehm, we're okay?" John asked nervously, not quite daring to believe it and pushing away his irritation at being called a kid.
"We will be", Gently responded, "Soon."
John nodded, a feeling of relief filling him and with a small smile on his lips.
"I'm going to punish you first", Gently stated. John's smile faded.
"What exactly do you mean by that?" he asked suspiciously, eyeing Gently sceptically. His experience with punishments was not good; at home his father had beaten him sometimes, but John usually wasn't sure why, and in school the teachers had usually taken out their bad tempers on some boy, usually not him. It had never had any effect on John except making him shy away from their company.
"I do not mean that I am going to beat you bloody, John", Gently reassured him softly, "I'm going to take my belt to your backside."
"You can't do that!" John protested shrilly. "I'm an adult, I'm... I mean, I'm not a kid!"
Gently calmly raised his eyebrows.
"Well, you act like one", he retorted. "So it's only fair you get punished like one."
John cast a look at the door, for a moment considering bolting. He quickly reconsidered when he saw the thunderous look on appearing on Gently's face as he guessed John's thoughts. Instead he directed his gaze to the floor, a thoughtful expression on his face.
"Can't we just forget about this?" he asked hopefully. A smile touched upon Gently's lips for a brief moment, but he immediately replaced it with a stern expression.
"No, John", he said, "I need to know that I can trust you. And I need to make sure you know that I trust you."
John looked even more thoughtful. His boss wanted to take his belt to him. It wouldn't be too painful; he had said he wasn't going to "beat him bloody", so consequently there would be no serious injury. And Gently would trust him again if he agreed. As much as he hated to admit it, that mattered to John. A lot. He gave a small nod to the older man who immediately put a hand on his shoulder and guided him to his desk.
"Bend over it", he ordered. John obeyed silently, starting to regret his choice already. He heard Gently unbuckle his belt and pull it out of its loops. He sensed more than heard him raise his arm, but he did hear the whishing of the belt to the air before it him with a loud crack. It took a moment for the pain to register; then it spread over his backside rapidly, stinging and burning.
The belt hit him again. And again.
"Tell me why I'm belting you, John", came Gently's calm request, sounding for all the word as if he was asking what a certain lead meant.
"Because I, eh... disobeyed you?" he offered, hating the way his voice cracked slightly over the last word.
"Yes, John", Gently agreed, and brought down the belt again. John winced. "I want to trust you, John, and I want to keep working with you. I can't if you don't obey me."
He continued the belting and John had to bite his teeth together to stop himself from making any sounds. It didn't stop him from breathing unevenly and his knuckles whitening as he grabbed the far side of the desk with hard determination. Gently was way to bloody good at this for John's good.
"Well, carry on", Gently encouraged him. He had fallen into a comfortable pace now and tears were beginning to form in John's eyes.
"Lying?" John asked, and when the belt bit into him quickly he confirmed, "Yes, yes! Lying. I lied to you. I'm sorry!"
"All right. And why shouldn't you lie to me?"
"Because then you can't trust me", John managed to get out without breaking into sobs. He had had no idea this would hurt so much. He had taken canings, and that had hurt and he had cried, but he hadn't thought this would be anywhere that.
"Yes, and...?" Gently prompted patiently.
"It's..." he hesitated. He hated saying it. He hated admitting that he had been wrong. He hated admitting that Gently was the kind of authority figure he could look up to and actually felt bad about disrespecting. Which was what he had did, and what Gently wanted him to admit. "It's disrespectful, gov."
"Very good, John", Gently praised him, "What else?"
"I ignored you and went over your head to get to go to the conference when I should have listened to you all along 'cause you're more experienced and I should trust you", John reeled off quickly, not pausing to breathe. Gently stopped swinging the belt and paused, as if to think.
"Well... a little", he admitted, "but not too much. You have the right to disagree with me and it's possible that... that I should have listened to you more."
John raised his head to throw Gently a disbelieving look.
"Really?" he asked, his pain momentarily forgotten. Gently nodded his confirmation.
"Yes, but it doesn't entirely excuse what you did. And we still have some things to discuss. Over the desk again."
John obeyed reluctantly. Gently wasted no time in resuming the belting and gave John a couple of strokes before starting to talk again.
"One more thing you're getting punished for", he stated. "Tell me what."
John racked his brain, this being especially difficult because of the pain, and failed to come up with anything, except yelps from pain and a ragged sob.
"I- I don't know, gov", he admitted.
"You. Knowingly. Put. Yourself. In. Danger", Gently explained, accentuating each word with a hard stroke. "I am not going to accept that. You do not get to do that. Understood?"
"Yes!" John agreed quickly, "Yes, I do."
"Good", Gently praised him, "Very good."
But he didn't stop. John had hoped he'd be done now. He couldn't think of anything else which might possibly deserve punishment. He drew a ragged breath, more a sob, and with an annoyed gesture he wiped tears from his face. He hated crying.
Then Gently stopped. John felt his hand on his back, softly comforting, and to his irritation his eyes filled with tears again.
"Up you get", Gently ordered mildly. John obeyed and winced as he realised just how sore his backside really was. An amused smile tugged at Gently's lips when he saw his sergeant's discomfort and John gave him an annoyed look. Gently put a hand on his shoulder and massaged it softly, quietly offering the comfort John now craved. He wiped away his tears with the sleeve of his suit, for a moment forgetting that he was supposed to be a dignified adult and not a kid who had fallen and scrubbed his knees. He did remember it though, when Gently laughed softly and offered him his handkerchief. He blushed, but used the hankie to dry away the remaining tears.
"You all right now?" Gently asked. John gave a nod, but Gently didn't seem content with the answer and raised his eyebrows demandingly.
"Yeah, I'm all right, gov", he replied, glad that his voice no longer broke when he spoke. The only sign he had been crying was the slight hollowness of it. And, of course, his puffy eyes and tear streaked face.
"You sure, John?" Gently prompted. "I don't want this to end without some sort of... closure. We quarrel too much, already."
"I'm sort of sure", John replied. "I just want to know... you know, why?"
"The reasons I already gave. I want to trust you. And I want you to be safe", Gently said. At the last part he looked somewhat embarrassed and he roughly patted John's shoulder again. "Besides, someone has to raise you, it seems."
John grimaced at the older man, an expression only a sliver more mature than sticking his tongue out. Gently laughed. It pleased John irrationally much to hear it. He should be angry he was being laughed at, but he had a feeling it was a kind sort of laugh.
"Well, it's late, son", Gently said after a moment of silence, "We should be getting home, both of us."
John looked a bit stricken, his face taking on the puppy eyed look that he seemed to have mastered to perfection. Why did he have the crazy feeling he was being abandoned? It was perfectly natural that Gently went home after they were done. There was no reason why he should stay any longer.
"What..?" the older man asked as he noticed John's suddenly morose appearance.
"Nothing, gov", John replied hurriedly, feeling a slight blush creeping up his cheeks.
"Nothing?" Gently sceptically repeated and then continued, after a slight pause, "Do you want me to stay on, talk for a bit?"
John loved him. Even though it scared him a bit that he knew so exactly what John wanted.
"If you don't mind..." he mumbled self-consciously. Gently smiled mildly and with a gesture bade John to take a seat before he himself did so.
"'Course I don't mind, John" he replied. John sat down with a small smile, and winced as his backside touched the hard wood. There was an awkward silence for a while, then Gently cleared his throat.
"So, tell me more about the seminar", he requested. "Anyone I would know there?"
"Uh, yeah... a few chaps mentioned you. There was this one really fat old man, totally bald, who talked about you for like an hour when I mentioned you name."
"A bald, fat old man, John?" Gently said with a wide grin, "I think you're going to have to be more specific, lad. That's half the met."
John grinned back.
"Aye, you're right. He was older than you."
Gently raised his eyebrows, trying to look stern at the same time as a smile was tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Say that again?" he requested mildly. John's grin widened.
"I'm just saying... most of the chaps your age are retired, right?"
"I'm warning you, John..."
"I mean... they might be getting senile and stuff."
"John."
"I'm not saying that you are, just saying it's not impossible for men your age to be... you know."
"I'm serious, John Bacchus."
"Old chaps usually are, I'm told."
"John..."
~Fade Out~
Thank you for reading and please leave a review.