Fading Away

By SherryGabs

Rated: M (Just to be safe as I'm not yet sure how far I will take certain things in later chapters; however, nothing will be extremely graphic. Also for occasional bad language.)

Summary: Gibbs's unpredictable moods and behavior has everyone worried. Then he disappears. Why? Will his team find him before it's too late?

Disclaimer: CBS and any other Powers-That-Be own the characters. I'm just borrowing them for a while.

Notes: This story takes place during season two just cuz I wanted to use Kate and Director Morrow in a story.

In later chapters, Gibbs may be completely out of character and may do things he will later deeply regret. Not sure just what yet. snicker

I've been working on this for a few months now… sloooowly. It's going to be quite long. I've got 10 chapters done so far and will post every couple of days or so.

Many thanks to Dark Rolling Sea for being a terrific beta reader.

***************

Chapter 1

One week previous

The man in the plumber's uniform looked around as he exited the house. Anyone from the neighborhood noticing him would only assume he'd been doing plumbing work by his uniform and the toolbox he was carrying. Of course, he had been doing work on the plumbing; just not the kind that is usually done. And plumbers don't usually install audio and visual equipment either.

He casually walked down the driveway to the street where his van was parked. Anyone noticing the name of the plumbing company on the van might remember it, but it didn't matter. The plumbing company didn't actually exist.

The man smiled as he got in the van and removed his hat. A smile that many would cringe at if they noticed the look in his eyes that went along with it.

Now the wait begins.

***********

Present

Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo glanced over to the elevator before smirking and turning his eyes towards the brunette sitting across from him. Straw ready, he took careful aim and blew through the straw sending the spitball flying towards its intended target, hitting her in the head.

Kate looked up from her computer monitor, her brown eyes blazing. "Tony! I swear to God I am going to shoot you if you do that again!"

Tony grinned. "Are good Catholic girls allowed to swear to God, Kate? Isn't there a commandment or something about that?"

"When it comes to you all commandments are out the window. There isn't a chance God would hold me responsible if I broke one or two of them on you!"

Tony's smile got even wider. "Does that mean we can commit adultery?"

Kate pierced him with her glower. "I was thinking more of the one about killing, Tony."

Neither one heard the ding of the elevator, but McGee did and he cleared his throat. "Uh, guys," he said in warning, nodding towards the elevator.

The three agents all immediately went back to their work when they saw their boss striding towards them, his usual large coffee in one hand and his coat laying over his other arm. They took furtive glances at him, trying to gauge his mood. Lately his moods were so irregular and unknown they didn't know what to expect, and it kept them on edge.

He actually had a pleasant look on his face this morning and they let themselves relax slightly.

"Got something in your hair, Agent Todd," he said as he walked by, without appearing to have even looked at her.

She picked the spitball out of her hair, throwing it in the wastebasket and glared at Tony, who snickered.

"DiNozzo, you might want to keep that straw," Gibbs stated as he put his coffee cup down and tossed his coat on the filing cabinet behind his chair. "You'll need it to eat through when Kate finally breaks your jaw."

It was Kate's turn to snicker when Tony's face showed fear.

McGee approached Gibbs's desk. "Uh, Boss," he started as Gibbs sat down. "I'm still trying to break through the encryption codes in the Walther's case. They're multilayered and it looks like it's going to take a while, probably even a couple of days."

Gibbs smiled up at him. "Don't worry 'bout it, Tim. Take as much time as you need."

Tim's face showed shock and confusion. Did he just smile and say take my time? Yesterday afternoon he yelled at me for taking so long.

"B-But I thought --"

"The case is turning cold," Gibbs interrupted, taking a sip of his coffee. "We're not getting anywhere on it, so who cares?"

Now all three of the younger agents were staring at Gibbs. His attitude was way off his usual kilter. They gave each other confused glances while McGee went back to his desk.

They had noticed over the past couple of days that their team leader was acting differently than usual. They had worked with him long enough to know what his usual was and this was not his usual. His mood swings were unpredictable. Like this morning, he would at times act indifferent, even blasé, when it came to things that would normally make him impatient or angry. Then a little while later, he would blow up over minor things. These times were usually worse in the afternoons. But he had yet to let these odd behaviors effect his judgment on a case until now.

They had also observed that Gibbs would squirm in his chair, move things around on his desk or in his desk drawers and then forget where he laid something. The night before he had spent ten minutes looking for his car keys before going home. They ended up being in his coat pocket where they always were. He hadn't thought to look there and had cursed all the way to the elevator, taking out his frustration on the down button.

Kate took a closer look at Gibbs and saw that he looked tired. His eyes were a little bloodshot and his lower eyelids were getting a baggy look, like he wasn't getting enough sleep. She shot a look over to Tony, who shared her look of concern, but only shrugged his shoulders. They would let it go for now, but if things continued the way they were, maybe she would talk to Ducky to see if he had noticed anything.

***********

The morning drug on. The only active case they had was the Walther's case, but without much forensic evidence there wasn't much to do with it except wait for McGee to break the encryption codes. In the meantime, Tony and Kate were working on a couple of cold case files to fill in the time.

Gibbs was becoming more fidgety and agitated as the day wore on. He knew something wasn't right with him, but had no idea what it was. He usually didn't mind sitting for hours at a time, but now he only wanted to move. He'd already gone out four times for coffee. He even began wondering if he wasn't getting too much caffeine and maybe that was causing him stress. He switched to water. It didn't taste as good as his water from home, but it did quench his thirst. His mouth and throat seemed to be dry lately.

He didn't seem to notice that he would forget where he put things, or that his mind would wander and he'd forget what he had been working on when he became focused again.

I need to get more sleep, he thought to himself as he rubbed his tired eyes. But sleep had been a problem, too. He tossed and turned at night, not being able to completely relax, and only got intermittent periods of rest.

When Tony asked if he wanted some takeout for lunch, Gibbs refused, saying he wasn't hungry. Kate had reminded him that he hadn't eaten lunch the day before either. With a glare at her, he slowly walked to her desk, keeping eye contact. He took an apple from her desk, took a bite out of it, then dropped the remaining apple into her wastebasket.

"There. Are you happy?" he had practically growled while chewing.

Kate only nodded, afraid to say anything.

Now midafternoon, Gibbs couldn't stand to sit any longer. The others flinched when he suddenly stood up. "I'm going to the lab to see Abby!"

They all breathed a sigh of relief when he got on the elevator.

Entering the lab, Gibbs flicked off the blaring music with a bit more force than necessary.

"Hey!" Abby complained, turning to see who entered her domain, but smiled when she saw who it was. "Oh, hi, Gibbs."

Gibbs didn't smile back. "Tell me you have something.... about anything!"

Abby frowned at him, not liking his tone. "What? No Caf-Pow?" she asked brazenly, never really being afraid of the grumpy side of Gibbs. She hadn't seen much of the rest of the team that week, and had only seen Gibbs a few times, but could tell something had been off about him on his short visits.

Gibbs stepped into her personal space. "Show me you've actually done some work and I might consider it."

Abby turned back to her keyboard. "I am always working, Gibbs," she said defensively. "If you're talking about the Walther's case, then no, I don't have anything else. There just wasn't enough forensic evidence to get anything useful."

"Then what the hell have you been doing all this time?!"

Now Abby was getting mad and she turned back around to face him, crossing her arms. "You are not the only I do work for, Gibbs! There are other teams besides you—"

She cocked her head as she studied his face. He didn't look well to her and her voice softened in concern. "Gibbs, are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine!"

"You don't look fine, you look exhausted." She reached out to try and hug Gibbs, but he pushed her away. He had never refused her hugs before and it hurt her and her voice reflected this. "Gibbs?"

"Just do something!" If he noticed the tears forming in her eyes he ignored them as he stormed out of her lab.

Abby stared after him, biting her quivering lower lip while her eyes stung with threatening tears.

**********

Gibbs had the beginnings of a raging headache when he stalked back into the bullpen. Stopping at McGee's desk he slammed his palms down on the desk.

"You got those codes broken yet?!"

McGee stared in frightened shock at the icy blue eyes staring back at him. "Uh, uh," he stammered. "No. You s-s-said this m-morning to t-take my t-time."

"Now why the hell would I say that, McStutter!" Gibbs yelled. "You realize, don't you, that this case is riding on breaking those codes. It's never taken you this long to do anything!"

As much as Tony loved picking on the probie, even he could see that McGee was about to have an anxiety attack and decided he better step in. Even if it meant facing Gibbs's wrath.

"Boss, you did say that," Tony said cautiously, stepping forward. "You said the case was going cold and it didn't matter."

Kate decided if Tony was brave enough to stand up for Tim, so should she and went to his side. Obviously Gibbs had forgotten what he had told McGee that morning. "He's right, Gibbs. Tim told you it would probably take a couple of more days and you said that was fine."

Gibbs's eyes narrowed as he approached Tony and Kate like a stalking panther. "I think I would remember if I had said that—which I didn't," he added sharply. "Do you two have anything else to add?" he challenged.

Both agents looked to each other for an answer.

"I said," Gibbs voice became loud enough to draw the attention of everyone on the floor. "Do you two have anything else to add!" His eyes were hard and his chest was heaving in anger.

Before either could respond, a stern voice was heard from the balcony above.

"Agent Gibbs!"

Gibbs looked up to see Director Morrow standing there. The anger didn't leave his eyes as he wondered how much the Director had heard.

Morrow had heard all of it and he was shocked to see this kind of behavior from Gibbs. Sure he'd known Gibbs to lose his temper and yell at his subordinates, but this went beyond what was called for. Giving Gibbs the benefit of any doubt and not wanting to tear a strip off him in front of the other agents, he chose a more diplomatic approach.

"I think it's been a long enough day. Why don't you all go home early and start fresh tomorrow." He looked hard at the team leader. "Get a good night's rest."

Gibbs knew that last bit was meant for him and he also knew he couldn't contradict the Director's decision. Shaking his head in annoyance, he strode to his desk, grabbed his gun and badge from the drawer and his coat.

"Be back here at 0700!" he barked at the others on his way to the elevator. He never turned around to notice the worried faces of his team.

Director Morrow sighed and went back into his office. Kate, Tim, and Tony huddled in the center of the bullpen.

"Something is very wrong with him," Tony said, running a hand through his hair.

"He did say that breaking the encryption coding wasn't a big deal, didn't he?" McGee questioned himself. He had never felt that kind of wrath from Gibbs before and it had frightened him badly.

"Yes, Tim, he did." Kate put an arm around his shoulder. "You didn't do anything wrong. Take it easy."

Tim nodded and sighed dejectedly.

"We need to keep an eye on Gibbs," Kate added.

"Yeah," Tony agreed. "If he gets any worse.... I don't know what we're gonna do."

************

Some of the anger had abated by the time Gibbs walked through his front door. The first thing he did was get some aspirin and a glass of water for his headache. The cold water felt good on his parched throat so he drank a second glass. He felt perspiration on his forehead and ran the cool glass over it.

He also felt uneasy and his nerve endings felt like they were crawling under his skin.

Maybe I am coming down with something. He pondered on that for a few seconds. Nah… I don't get sick!

He filled the coffee carafe with water from the faucet and poured it into the coffee maker, then added coffee grounds to the filter. Sitting at the table to wait for the coffee to finish brewing he thought back on the day while rubbing his temples. He knew he had let his temper get out of control, but for the life of him, couldn't figure out why. He'd have to make it up to them tomorrow.

After a few minutes Gibbs began to feel better. After a couple of cups of coffee, his nerves were much more relaxed and he felt less feverish. He took a third cup downstairs to the basement to work on his boat for a few hours. By the time he called it a night and went to bed, he'd forgotten about his day and his promise to be kinder to his team. He'd also forgotten to eat dinner.

************

The man laughed as he watched Gibbs trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in for the umpteenth time that hour. The cameras and microphones he had planted around the house were working perfectly. He saw the condition Gibbs had been in when he came home and noted how long it took Gibbs to calm down from his agitated state.

He'd been watching Gibbs at home off and on for the past week. Saw, as the days passed, how well his drug was working and knew Gibbs's addiction was becoming worse each day.

"It won't be long now, Jethro," the man touched the monitor over the prone figure on it. "Very, very soon."

TBC