CHAPTER 6: SEX! KNOW THE DANGERS!

HELLO! Yes, yes I am alive… I know. I KNOW! IT'S BEEN FOREVER! The kittens are very angry with me… I have been trying to avoi- AH SHIT THERE THEY ARE! *runs for life* MROWR! *hoard of adorable kittens tackles author to the ground* ARGH! OH GOD! STOP! NO MR. FLUFFLES! NOT THE FACE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

DISCLAIMER: Mreow meow mew mow! (the author is DEAD! Therefore he owns NOTHING!)

It was a beautiful sunny day in Karakura town. And it is on this day that three individuals have gathered to shop and hang out.

Ichigo sighed in boredom as he walked with his hands in his pockets. Walking along his right was Kuchiki Rukia. But this was not the normal Kuchiki Rukia who always wore dresses, no. THIS was a Rukia who wore CUTE SHORTS AND A TANKTOPS!

Ichigo resisted the urge to bash his head into the concrete side walk that he was on. He had to get a grip! This was still Rukia!

'This is all that idiots fault!' thought Ichigo angrily.

MROWR! (FLASHBACK!)

"…" Rukia gawked at the clothes in Yuzu's closet.

Her usual choices were missing.

"hmm, guess I'll have to wear something else…" she said to herself.

She quickly dressed and went to wait at the bottom of the stairs.

"ICHIGO! HURRY YOUR UP! YOU TAKE LONGER THAN A GIRL! ", she yelled up the stairs.

Ichigo began to make his way to the stairs.

"Shut up midget, I'll be down when I feel like it…" Said Ichigo as he left his room.

He was about to descend the steps when he laid eyes on Rukia.

"Wha- ARGH!" screamed Ichigo as he slipped and rolled down the stairs.

He came to a crashing stop at the bottom right next to Rukia who laughed at his apparent clumsiness.

She was wearing pink denim shorts that ended mid thigh and had yellow stars on each of the back pockets. She also had on a simple white cotton tank top that left a thin strip of pale skin showing above her waistband.

"HAHA Stupid idiot! Can't even use stairs properly!" laughed Rukia who had no idea as to the reason for Ichigo's distress.

Ichigo just groaned.

MROWREW! (END FLASHBACK!)

'It was probably that stupid goat chin that hid Rukia's usual clothes' Ichigo thought.

He used his badass eyes yet another idiot who was- uh, let's say they were admiring the stars on Rukia's backside.

Said idiot was lucky he didn't burst into flames at Ichigo's intense glare, he merely got off with some shitting of his pants.

So far Ichigo's victories over the pervs included; shitting ones pants, wetting one's self in public, crying for ones mommy, and mental breakdown and mumbling in the fetal position.

Rukia, however was oblivious to the casualties left in Ichigo's wake.

Ichigo was kinda pissed that his glares had little effect on the pineapple-headed baboon that was trailing behind them with his optics firmly locked onto the petit shinigami's posterior .

The reason that Renji was forced to walk so far behind Ichigo and Rukia, was that he was, once again, wearing those damn hippie clothes of his.

Stupid bandana.

Stupid vest.

And WHERE THE HELL did he get those bell-bottom jeans!

And other people were starting to notice the red-heads strange attire.

"OMG! Look at that guy. He's dressed like he's from the 70s or something." Said one random teenage girl.

"Yeah. He probably believes in, like, free love and stuff!" said another.

"OMG! I bet he's got, like, an STD, or something…" said yet another.

Rukia and Renji over herd this and turned toward Ichigo, who dread the coming question.

"What's STD?" they both asked in unison.

Ichigo sighed.

"It's an acronym." He said plainly and began walking again.

Rukia and Renji remained where they stood for a few second with blank faces.

Then they rushed after Ichigo.

"What the hell? That doesn't tell us anything! What's an STD?" demanded Rukia, Renji nodding his head behind her.

"Well its, you know, like AIDS or something… " he said avoiding the specifics.

He began to walk faster.

Rukia sped right up after him.

"Damn it, another acronym? What the hell is AIDS!" she yelled as Ichigo began to run away from her.

"ARGH! Quit following me! I don't know you!" Ichigo shouted as he sprinted full tilt.

"What do you mean? I LIVE with you!" said Rukia as she chased after him.

They passed a pair of old ladies.

"Oh my, did you hear that? Those two youngsters are living in sin!" said one.

"Oh yes, and he already gave her AIDS." Said the other.

"ARGH! DAMNIT STOP CHAISING ME IM NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU THE ANSEWER!" screamed Ichigo.

"NO! NOT UNTIL YOU GIVE ME AIDS!" Rukia yelled.

Needles to say, Ichigo was mortified by her choice of words.

He stumbled over his feet, tripped, and slammed into a lamp post face first.

The world around them became eerily silent as the people around them stopped and turned slowly towards them.

Rukia was getting freaked out by the attention she had drawn and decide to run away.

"Uh, later Ichigo!" she said before she dashed off.

Everybody was now gawking at Ichigo who was rendered unrecognizable by the profuse amount of blood pouring from his nose.

"Er…" began Ichigo

Then mass panic ensued.

"OH MY GOD HE'S BLEEDING AND HE HAS AIDS!" some one yelled.

"HOLY SHIT! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

It was total chaos after that.

MROW! MEOW! (LATER AT THE KUROSAKI RESIDENCE)

Ichigo, Ishin, and Rukia were sitting in the living room watching TV when the news came on.

"Earlier today, an unknown individual was maliciously attempting to infect innocent by standers with AIDS…" said a reporter.

"Oh that's terrible," began Ishin, "I'm glad you two are safe; can't have you guys catching AIDS before you conceive my grandchildren!"

Ichigo punched him in the face and got up off the couch.

"hmm, I still wonder what an STD is…" said Rukia.

Ichigo picked up an encyclopedia from a nearby shelf.

"LOOK IT UP, DAMN IT!" he yelled as he chucked the book at Rukia before he stormed up stairs.

THE END

I SHALL TRY TO KEEP WRITING! SO REVIEW TO HELP GIVE ME SOME ENERGY!

OH YEAH I WAS REVIEVED BY A NECROMANCER WHO SUMMONED ZOBIES TO FIGHT OF THE HOARD OF ADORABLE KITTENS.

LATERS!

….

BITCHES!