Tree House

We wanted our own little getaway. Somewhere to run and hide, and shut the world out from our lives because we felt like it. We were about eight when we figured as long as we stayed together, nothing could go wrong. Despite our subtle differences in both appearance and personality, we both really, really wanted our own space, and we knew exactly what that would be. I remember running alongside Tegan to Mom as quickly as our little legs would let us. We begged and pleaded. Although Mom didn't seem up to the idea, her boyfriend at the moment, Riley, seemed up to it. After pleas from the two of us, her adorable twin daughters, she had no choice but to give in. Riley set out to gather his materials.

As Tegan and I watched Riley work on our hideout, we would lay back and feel the grass tickling our toes. We frolicked in the backyard, and chased each other from one end of to the other. We never got tired. My mother often asked us how we could play around for so long without ever getting exhausted. Like, how could you not? Being around my sister gave me energy unlike any other even to this day. Being around her would give me the greatest feelings, which I thought were normal at the time. I don't think I, or even Tegan had realized our innocent feelings would grow to be something that others would search for for a lifetime. Although I didn't know it at this point, I would never have to look for those feelings. They were always here, inside of my own twin sister.

"Sara, Tegan. It's all ready."

We grinned ear to ear after our mother's boyfriend had told us the good news. We had been sitting together on one end of the couch, sharing a pack of uncooked Ramen noodles and watching Pee Wee. Immediately, we bolted from the couch to the backyard, yelling thank you's as we raced through the back door.

It was beautiful. At least to us, it was. I let her climb the ladder first, mainly so I could stand behind her and make sure she didn't fall off. Tegan always has been more prone to risky situations than me. She flashed a goofy grin back down towards me from the entrance of our little refuge. "Wow Sara! This is so cool!" Tegan enthused.

I didn't hesitate a second as I saw her hand extend to help me up. I climbed up the ladder until I could reach her hand. Totally ignoring the fact I could climb the rest of the way up with the ladder, I much preferred her help, even though I would never let anyone else help me. I've always kept my pride. Clasping my hand in hers, I let her gently pull me the last couple of inches until I now sat safely with her. We squealed with delight, not sure what exactly to do first.

"This is my tree house, Tegan!" I stated, with a stamp of my foot for emphasis.

" You're such a brat, SaSa," she joked, reaching over and tugging on one of my braids softly.

Soon enough, we decided this was our own little club house. No one else would be allowed inside of it except for the two of us. But who would have known that this tree house would be that one spot that would change our lives completely in so many ways?

It started out with a kiss. An innocent little kiss.

After the tree house had been built, it had been the one place we spent most of our time together. Mom didn't mind. She figured it was a nice way to spend our free time. We decided it was way cooler than Pee Wee Herman. However, the colder months of the year had been creeping up. Days were beginning to get colder, but we didn't want to leave that tree house.

Our mother had buttoned us up in our winter jackets; she in that puffy, pink one that made her look like a tiny marshmallow. I didn't know why at the time, but I loved that jacket on her. It made her look so…adorable? Not that I would tell her that.

Aside from the fact we had been bundled up with jackets, mittens, scarves, hats, and other warm articles of clothing, we were still freezing. Myself, more than her; Tegan seemed to always be warm, if not, just fine. We sat in a corner of the tree house, totally drained from the cold weather. We hadn't been feeling hyper that day because it was so freezing, but still didn't want to go inside. We needed to figure out something to do.

"I'm so cold," I whimpered.

She looked up and turned to look at my frowning face. She giggled at my Rudolph nose. Although I wasn't feeling too sunshine-y, her laughter always seemed to cheer me up.

"What?"
Tegan shook her head, "Nothing. Your nose is just really red!" she giggled again.

I frowned, swatting her frail arm gently enough not to hurt her, "Stoppp," I whined. "I'm cold."

"Well what am I supposed to do about it?"
I shrugged, "You don't seem that cold."
My twin shrugged, "I'm cold, but not that cold."
"Well, keep me warm then!"

She smiled, eager to help make me happy in any way. I extended her hands out to her, and she took mine in hers. To my surprise, she pulled me right onto her lap. I felt my heart speed up, but wasn't sure why. I smiled down at her grinning face. Instinctively, I leaned in and rubbed my frozen nose against hers. We both laughed, our tree house echoing with giggles. Her arms slipped around my waist, hugging me close to her.

"You are warm," I giggled, leaning in to place a quick peck on her nose.

She leaned in quickly and I received a peck on the nose as well, causing us both to break out into huge grins. We leaned in once again in unison and pecked our lips together.

I smiled and let my head rest against her chest. Who knows why we did what we did? To think, such actions we considered completely innocent had now become a daily ritual. It didn't feel wrong to us, so why would we stop? It's not like we knew any better…

-----

By now, we were 14 years old. You know, that age where you aren't exactly sure what kind of person you want to grow up to be, as well as the fact that you have now been told that girls kissing girls isn't exactly considered "right."

Who would have predicted my sister and I would find out our childhood had been "wrong" in some religion class? Our mother didn't want us to grow up knowing about religion, but the only school near our neighborhood was a Catholic school. There our teacher stood at the front of the room, reading from the religion workbook we had. It really was a bore, and when our teacher wasn't looking, I'd look down and read the book I secretly had lying in my lap. All we did was read through the chapter and sit quietly while the teacher explained to us what it was all about. Nobody ever paid attention, well except Tegan. She seemed into it at times. But nothing special to me. Religion was never something that caught my attention. However, this day was different for the two of us. My teacher was explaining love and marriage, and how today's society was confusing the two terms.

"Today, people are confused over what they think love is. Some want marriage between people of the same gender."

My head shot up from my novel as we all now listened with complete attention.

"That isn't right. Girls should not kiss girls, and boys should not kiss boys. That's not what God wanted. People today cannot understand properly what love is supposed to be like."

I frowned, utterly confused. Across the room, Tegan shot her hand up.

"Yes, Tegan?"

I sat quietly in my seat, knowing what she was going to ask, even though I kept it to myself.

"But…isn't that the point of love? Not having to think about it or go look for it? Doesn't it sort of, you know… come to you?"

We all watched a slight hint of anger appear in her face before she tried her best to hide it.

"No, Tegan, my point is that love between boys, and love between girls is not love at all."

"What is it then?" I finally asked innocently.
"It's…"
"Because if they feel the same way, if not better than perhaps a man and a woman together, what's wrong about it? It's not hurting anyone…" I said, stating my opinion.
"Girls, it's just wrong, okay? I am telling you this now so you students don't grow up making the mistake of trying to love the same gender. It's impossible."

I frowned, turning my head to face Tegan. What did this mean? Our childhood had been…wrong? Tegan stared intently at the corner of her desk. When we made eye contact, Tegan scowled, turning the other way. I knotted my brow. What was her issue?

Apparently our teacher's words had gotten to her. She had gone home that same day, asking Riley his opinions on it. He gave her the same response of our teacher, oblivious to the fact we had kissed many times in our tree house over the years. My heart shattered when she told me not too long after that that it was best we didn't do anything taboo with each other anymore. "It's for God's sake," she told me.

From that moment on, God didn't even exist in my world anymore. All he was known to do, to me, was take away the one thing I knew was love in my life.

So here I sat in the tree house. Alone. Tegan hadn't come up in several days. She avoided me at home and school, and stopped hanging out with me. I couldn't help but sit in the tree house, letting the memories flood through my mind. Memories that were apparently sickening, ghastly, and wrong. I couldn't accept it. I wouldn't let some woman who knew absolutely nothing about what she had been talking about change me and Tegan's lives forever. Now that was wrong.

I sat for hours, trying desperately to think of a way to win her back. By now, I had definitely realized those feelings for my sister weren't acts of innocence. They were acts of love. I loved her. It all made sense to me now. I loved her. I needed her. I needed her there physically and emotionally. A twin without her twin was no twin at all. Now that I was so sure of myself, I wasn't going to let some middle aged hag throw that away.

-----

A couple of weeks later in school, I sat with anxiety the whole morning until lunch time. Tegan hadn't bothered to pay any attention to me; nothing surprising. I planned to take her into the library to talk. During lunch, the librarian would go onto her break, but leave the room open for whoever wanted to read. However, it was always empty since children would much rather eat lunch than read. Even as an avid reader, I know be one of those kids. I could always read during Religion, anyway. But this was an emergency.

Once the clock hit 12:00, it was officially lunchtime. Tegan still sat a ways from me. She was leaning over her knees, chatting up this taller, curly-haired boy named Liam. All of our classmates liked him, especially the girls who thought he was amazingly handsome. Barely teenagers, Tegan and I didn't think any of the boys our age were attractive. Or girls either. We had only known that we were exclusively attracted to each other. Liam had tried to charm the both of us before, failing to do so when Tegan rejected him at first, then moved on to ask me out. If she was going to fulfill that void that I was supposed to fill, she certainly could do better than this kid.

I watched her take a piece of yellow Juicy Fruit from its wrapper. She tore it in half, with one side a bit longer than the other. She offered one of the pieces to Liam, who greedily took the longer half and started to chomp on it. Tegan stayed silent, but furrowed her eyebrows and chewed slowly, savoring the flavor. Our eyes met, and I immediately looked downward at my worn-out sneakers, a size too big because I shared them with my sister. Tegan would always share her gum with me, too. I would try to take the shorter side, and then she would insist that I have the longer side. This would continue until I ended up chewing on the shorter end, as I wanted.

I strutted over to the two of them. Tegan looked up at me, and I could see confusion and maybe a hint of anger. Liam continued to tell his fascinating story of this time he hit the referee in the head with a hockey puck. I realized it was rude to him, but I took Tegan's hand and pulled her out the door and down the hallway without any explanation.

"What are you doing!?" she exclaimed.

I shushed her, holding her hand in mine tightly as I guided the two of us to the library. As angry as she seemed to be, she hadn't tried once to free her hand from my grip. I closed the library doors behind us and hastily made our way over to a back corner where nobody would see us even if they did open the doors and walk in.

"What are you doing?" she asked again, more calmly.

I frowned, pulling her close as I desperately tried to explain with a kiss. There was too much to be said, and I honestly didn't have enough time in the world to tell her how much she meant to me, so I figured a kiss would just about do it. Hopefully.

After a moment, she finally kissed me back for a few seconds before pushing me away from her.

"What are you doing?" she exclaimed in a whispered tone a third time.

I felt myself grow angry at her stubbornness and harshly reached forward to intertwine her fingers with mine. Even back then did I have quite a vocabulary.

"You can't fucking blow this off because some old woman told us gays should burn in Hell. Or implied. But she knows nothing. Mom knows nothing and our classmates know nothing. Nobody knows how this feels, Tegan, except us! You've always made me feel this way ever since we were younger. I didn't know why until now. We're so, so young , but I fucking love you, Tegan, and I know it's love, and I know you feel the same way I do. Screw what they say. Screw all of it. If only they could even fathom what this is like… That bitch of a teacher would be leading a gay pride in a tube top! This has always been mutual between us, we just never knew until now." I finished, my eyes burning. I had never tightened my grip on her long fingers.

She sat silently for quite some time, looking down at our hands as our thumbs brushed lightly against each other's skin. Please, Tegan… Say something. Anything.

She sighed, pulling me onto her lap and slipping her arms around me like she had done for that first time years ago. I let my tears fall as I instinctively leaned in and rubbed my nose against hers. I chuckled a bit, embarrassed that I showed the vulnerable side of myself, before letting our lips peck together.

"I do…love you," she muttered, "Always have," she sighed. "But they all say that…"
I frowned, pressing my index finger to her soft lips to silence her, "Stop. Just don't. Nobody knows how you feel except you, and…maybe me."

She smiled, holding me close as we spent our lunch period in each other's arms, looking back on our somewhat recent childhood memories. I knew things couldn't get any better between us.

-----

Or maybe things could get better…

We were 18. She climbed up the ladder first while I waited at the bottom, careful to catch her in case she fell. She sat at the top, urgently motioning for me to follow. I smirked, climbing up as fast as I could without falling. The last thing I wanted to do was keep her waiting. By the time I got up, she had just finished unbuttoning her pants. I grinned as I watched her slide her pants and her underwear down her legs. She grabbed the material of her striped tee, pulling it up and over her head. I took my own shirt off, placing it into a corner with hers as I watched her remove her bra and push it away. I felt myself gasp in response as Tegan looked down, embarrassed.

She guided me back against one of the walls, climbing between my legs. I met her lips with mine while her fingertips stroked my sides gently, making me squirm underneath her. I quickly unbuttoned my jeans, and she pulled them down my legs. She buried her face in my chest, letting the tip of her tongue glide along my collarbone and down my cleavage. The trail she left burned with desire, even though it was somewhat chilly. I reached behind and unclasped my bra, tossing it out of our way. She smiled, taking one of my breasts in her mouth. I groaned, raking my fingers through her soft, windblown hair. She took the other into her mouth before licking a small path down between my breasts, down my stomach, and to the lining of my underwear. She immediately hooked a finger on each side of my hips, pulling the material down my legs, painfully slowly. I groaned in annoyance. Suddenly, my older sister stuck her warm hands in my underwear. She ran her hand down my slit, smiling at my wetness and causing me to blush. She pressed her fingertips to my clit gently, rubbing slowly as she placed kisses to the side of my neck. I reached a hand forward, letting it find its way between her legs. I began to rub her at the same pace she rubbed me. If her pace quickened, so did mine. If her pace slowed down, so did mine. I bit my lip, closing my eyes as I felt that feeling start to form in the pit of my stomach. I stared at her. Her hazel eyes were shut tight, and she bit her lip furiously. She knew I was close, for I started to writhe on her fingers. I orgasmed, pushing my head back against the wall behind me while trying desperately to rub between Tegan's legs as well.

She moaned quietly, now rubbing herself while letting me sit back and breathe. However, the sight of Teetee rubbing herself in front of me didn't help much. I felt my heart beat faster, and I couldn't just sit back and watch. I pushed her back into a corner and positioned myself between her legs. I spread them further and slid my tongue into her. Tegan's eyes shut tightly again, and I heard her moans of pleasure. "Oh God, babe,"

I smirked, continuing to let my tongue explore her. I flicked it against her clit, watching her squirm above me. I put a bit of pressure on her silky tummy as I enclosed my lips on her pussy and began to suck and lick her. I felt her hands run through my hair, occasionally tugging whenever I would hit a good spot. As she began to get closer to her climax, her back started to arch. I immediately pushed her back down with my hands. She moaned loudly, letting her hands trail down her torso until they now covered mine. Her whimpers and moans channeled directly into my ears, causing me to lick her with more passion. "Baby, open your eyes for me," I requested, using my fingers to thrust into her. With some effort, Tegan's eyes shot back open, glossy. I continued what I was doing previously, and she finally went over the edge. I felt her surging on my tongue.

I lapped gently while she laid back, chest heaving, and tried to let her heart rate slow down. She reached forward to feel my hair with her delicate hands. I loved the taste of her. I now licked her not just to bring her to another orgasm, but because I just loved the taste of my twin, and I loved the intimacy between us and wanted her to feel amazing. I stroked her midriff tenderly, letting my fingertips glide across her bellybutton. Soon enough, she reached down and tried to pull me back up with her. I kissed her abdomen lightly before climbing back up to get scooped into her arms. I smiled, leaning my head against her chest as we now cuddled in our own little corner. We had far too many good memories in this tree house. Memories of events that changed our lives. We didn't need anybody criticizing us, or telling us what we did was wrong. If we were that interested, we'd ask the big man after we died whether it was wrong or not. But for now, we couldn't care less.