== Sweet Vibrations ==

By Ayngel

Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers and I absolutely positively definitely will make no money out of any stories about Transformers

This came about as a result of Artemis1000 and I deciding we felt sorry for Rumble because he never gets laid. And he's such a hilarious little mongrel too! We set out to change that - so here's his "romance" with Bumblebee. *Pure crack* LOL

Set in G1 Series 2.

Warnings: Whole story is pure crack - has fluff, sexual references, smut, sticky sex and mild violence. *Warnings* This chapter for mild smut and violence.

Chapter summary: After much turmoil, Bee and Rumble finally get together - but it's still not plain sailing. Meanwhile, both Autobots and Decepticons find they have something to look forward to...

Chapter 12

Thundercracker and Skywarp looked at each other. Neither of them liked undersea capers, and this place was creepy as well as unpleasant.

"You're sure this is the place, Starscream?" Thundercracker asked hesitantly.

"Oh yes – this is definitely Scavenger's playground!" The air commander could not disguise his delight.

"It's obvious what has happened!" he crowed. "The Constructicons have let the prisoners escape, and now have abandoned their post. I daresay they are already preparing some miserable excuse for our great and mighty leader."

Thundercracker looked uncertain. "Maybe we should go back and warn him?" he suggested. But Skywarp looked much less unhappy. "The pit with that! Let's go kick some Auto-aft!"

Starscream very much liked that idea – especially given the enthusiasm with which Prowl had made the request. But a resistance arose in him, as always when there was a chance to get his own back on a certain silver mech.

"Negative," he said. "Megatron did not want us there, and so - my good Seekers - he can manage without us. Now - all is not lost…" the scowl that came on to Skywarp's face had not escaped him.

"My sensors detect Cybernetic craft," he went on. "They are headed for the inlet near the human town. There are some Autobot signatures whose identities I am not entirely sure of, but one thing is certain – Rumble is with them."

Now, both other Seekers brightened. "Heheh! So we got ourselves a battle of our own, huh?" Skywarp said. "I mean – I wouldn't wanna make it look like we care about rescuing the little pit or somethin' but…"

"It will be most entertaining, indeed," Starscream agreed. "And Megatron himself has, I suggest, sanctioned any force required to get the little pit back. We must head for the surface, and proceed to their estimated place of arrival."

Drawing himself up, he addressed the murky waters – which felt good, even if the only audience – apart from his trine mates - was a variety of fish and the odd octopus.

"Now all Decepticons will see that I, Starscream, am a mech that gets things done. That despite all odds, I fulfill the tasks entrusted to me. That I…"

"Do you think we could just get on with it?" After all that had gone down today, Thundercracker wasn't hanging around here any longer.

…

Megatron tried Starscream's com. No answer. Darn it! Well never mind Mirage and Rumble, he had a battle to fight. And he was just in the right mood! Optimus Prime was going to be super-sorry today.

There was a noise behind him. He turned to find the three Insecticons standing in the corridor. Whilst Bombshell wore a resolute look, Kickback's antennae drooped and Shrapnel had his arm around the smaller Insecticon.

The Decepticon leader bristled inside. Was this sloppy nonsense not exactly what he'd been talking about? Well, all that was about to change. Yes – it would! For if there was one thing Insecticons never knocked back it was the chance of a fight - especially when it got them some energon.

"Insecticons? You are ready to join the Decepticons in – battle?" he proclaimed grandly. "I assure you it will be worth your while!"

But the three didn't move. "I'm afraid Soundwave isn't really up to that," Bombshell said matter of factly. "He's devastated over Rumble."

"Your refusal to let him find his creation has left him in a state of – depression," the Insecticon went on, as Megatron'soptics widened in disbelief. "I have counseled him as best I can, but as his nominated psychologist, I don't believe he would be able to activate his fight mechanisms – or would the other cassettes for that matter."

His – what? Megatron stared at the beetle. Was he really hearing this?

"And frankly," Bombshell went on before the leader had a chance to even try and break his speechlessness, "we are not in a position to be of assistance either. Kickback here has had a traumatic experience, and Shrapnel is extremely disappointed at the lack of opportunity to get his hands on Mirage. I'm afraid you're going to have to count us out."

Megatron opened his mouth – then closed it again. He noticed that the Reflector triplets had appeared, and now stood idly behind Bombshell, as though looking for instructions. "Well Viewfinder - don't just stand there!" he bawled. "Get Shockwave down on the spacebridge."

The lead triplet cleared his throat. "Er - that's a bit awkward, Megatron. You see, the Autobot femmes have been a problem again. Elita One has – er – proved a bit difficult to handle. Shockwave has his hands completely full!"

"The Constructicons?"

"Not back yet. They're not very good underwater. Their thrusters may have conked out."

Could this day get any worse? "The coneheads?" Megatron asked weakly, dreading the answer.

"Dirge is having one of his low days," Spectro informed him. "And Ramjet and Thrust mistook the situation and decided to carry on after the rec room. They're uh …" he coughed, "hopelessly intoxicated."

"Fine!" Megatron roared. "I'll just have to go by myself then won't I?" It was days like this that he almost regretted locking those Combaticons up in that mind prison all those years ago. Right now, they would have come in very useful.

The Reflector triplets formed a line before him. "You've still got us!" they intoned together.

But that, of course, was out of the question. He'd be a laughing stock in front of Prime, for pits sake, turning up with just them. It would be like Prime showing up against the might of the Decepticons with a few minibots.

There was nothing for it. He, Megatron, would have to do the unthinkable. He would have to contact Prime and try and talk the Autobots into a solution – something that would, at least, buy him some time until he restored control here again.

A temporary measure, of course. Nothing – but nothing - was ultimately going to spoil the destruction of Optimus Prime. That, and domination of the universe would just have to wait a little - that was all.

…

Hanging on to the back of Seaspray's alt form, it was all Bumblebee could do not to keep himself staring at Rumble. And Rumble was the same! For every time Bee turned his head, he caught the cassette looking at him, then quickly staring back into the bubbly wake that trailed out behind Alana.

They had been so polite to each other back at Scavenger's playground. Rumble really was a very nice Decepticon, just proving that what the others said wasn't true.

"I ain't getting' in no Autobozo fish thing," he had said when Seaspray had suggested they get into that weird female Autobot's alt form. And Mirage had given him a look, but Bumblebee really didn't think he should have, because wouldn't he have felt funny getting in a Decepticon fish?

And then he'd done it, he'd spoken up.

"I'll get in first, Rumble. And I'll see to it that nothing happens I promise."

"Really?" even in the murky water, Bee could see that Rumble was blushing; that his face was definitely a deeper shade of purple! Oh, but he had looked so – cute; almost – vulnerable…

And Bee had gone all warm and fuzzy inside…

"Neither of you are 'getting in." Mirage had cut in. "There is no way I'm putting the two of you in a confined space at this stage in the game, and besides, I am NOT travelling back to the mainland hanging off the back of a fishtail. You two are going to do that."

At least the Alpha-mech could make some attempt to restore his dignity. Mirage had had more than enough of the open sea for one day.

So now Mirage was travelling in style, and they were hanging off the back of the fish.

Bumblebee glanced to one side. Rumble was so adorable! Water rushed against his purple chest - and the hands gripping the tailfin looked so strong! Oh if only Bumblebee could think of something to say – something expressive. But even of he could think of something it would be no good. His com wasn't even working!

/All my life I've been waiting to meet somebody like you. And I can't even talk/

/Eh?/ Oh no, the com was working - and Rumble had heard! Bumblebee reeled with embarrassment.

But Rumble sighed shyly through the rushing water./Yeah well I…/ He seemed to be struggling for words too.

Bumblebee smiled encouragingly. /It's OK!/ was all he could think of to come out with.

/Uh - when I lie in my berth all hot and panting, its you always that I'm longing for and - uh - wanting!/ Rumble burst out. He pronounced 'wanting' so it rhymed with 'panting.'

Hang on - Rumble wrote poetry? Well - WOW! And he said it in such a kind of shy, embarrassed way too. Which he didn't have to, because it was – beautiful!

/That's – awesome Rumble.../ And now, despite having been submerged in water that really wasn't all that warm for some time, the same heat began to creep through Bumblebee's systems as had done so on the road up to the cliff.

Rumble seemed to know. He smiled happily. He puffed his chest out. /Say – I've written heaps of that stuff for you. You – like it?/

/It's fantastic!/ Bumblebee said, noticing with a thrill that a glowing bubble seemed to be surrounding the other mech. /I do hope we get on land soon. I want to get to know you. You're – amazing!/

/Yeah well – you're pretty pit hot yourself…/

Primus, Bee's hologram had been sexy enough, but in the metal did Bee ever turn Rumble on! And now, despite his resolve to think non interface orientated things, his energy field was buzzing. Pit! He couldn't help coming out with – what he just came out with.

Especially when Bee had said that! And he could feel heat coming off the Autobot, and it occurred to Rumble that aside from anything else it had been a while…

/Sigma!/ Rumble cursed as his energy field flared wildly, sending both sharkticons rocking to and fro. Through the turbulent water he saw Bee's frame shudder, felt the force from the others field cut through him. Oh my, wait till they had a proper overload…

And to think what Soundwave had tried to set him up with? This was gonna be a helluva sight better than having some bug groping his piledrivers!

/Decorum!/ Mirage's voice snapped in. /I'd appreciated it if you saved that for the shore!/

Now the Alphamech wished he'd told them to hang on to Seaspray. At least he could have kept an optic on them and commanded some restraint before they...

/Aw - don't be a stick in the sand!/ Stabilising, Alana was clearly amused. /That was kinda - all right! You know what it's like sometimes!/

/It sure is!/ Seaspray agreed. /Just as well we're nearly there – don't think my relays'd hold out much longer./

Mirage wished he hadn't said anything. Did Seaspray have to be so - explicit? He hoped the newly fledged lovers hadn't heard. Thank goodness the journey was nearly at an end.

Yes - the water was getting shallower. Brightly coloured fish streaked around them. Through the portal in Seaspray. Mirage caught sight of the humans. The humans! He had almost forgotten they were there – let alone figured out why in hell they were!

It did not escape Mirage that the wheeled one looked distinctly unwell and the other one looked utterly unamused at whatever was going on behind Alana. Mirage wondered if he should comm Optimus Prime - but no - this was going to take some explaining. Better that Seaspray and Alana did their thing, the humans could be dispatched, and he would take Rumble and Bumblebee somewhere to…

Well darn it, that was the agenda wasn't it? Except that – where? Mirage suddenly realized he hadn't thought that far ahead.

….

*Optimus Prime?*

"Prowl, my mech!"

Oh thank goodness! Prowl's voice over the room comm had come at just the right moment. Prime was, mercifully, enjoying a few moments of precious 'alone' time. After his stern comm to Brawn and Gears they had agreed, it seemed, that handing the responsibility of Bumblebee to him was appropriate - if not strictly minibot tradition. They hadn't come back.

Meanwhile, Ironhide had gone with Wheeljack to deal with the Dinobots and Red Alert was preparing the brig for those recalcitrant Autobots – at least, the ones who had truly overstepped the mark. Ratchet was readying medbay. Just in case…

*I have some news for you…* And now, this would surely be good news? Prowl would be bringing the Autobots in. Or maybe he had found Bumblebee? Or maybe Mirage? Or….

*I'm afraid there's to be a Decepticon attack. However, there's no need for alarm. I've summoned the troops, and they're headed for the beach. But just in case Megatron shows up, it might be as well to have you involved…*

On top of everything else? Prime's good feelings evaporated. He groaned inwardly. Why at the worst possible times did his brother seem to know just when things weren't going right. "I'll er-er…"

"Prime I don't know that's a good idea!"

Turning, Prime saw that Ironhide and Ratchet had appeared in the doorway. Ratchet had his hands on his hips – a stance the Autobot leader knew only too well.

"Those guys have had an exhausting day!" the medic reproached. "I'd prefer to run a check on their mental states before they – er – engage the enemy."

Beside him, Ironhide nodded. "Yeah - sometimes programming can get a bit scrambled. All fired up like they've been – anything could happen! I think you should stick to your original plan and get the main lot back to the brig. We'll handle them, and you can take the Dinobots – they're pretty much back in business…"

"…and the minibots could do with the distraction," Ratchet continued. "Take them."

Prime sighed. He was far from cheered by either of those suggestions. It would take nothing to make the Dinobots 'go off' again – and not necessarily against the Decepticons.

And the minibots? Ferocious little warriors they may be, but his brother's laughter would still be heard all the way to Cybertron when he saw that was the extent of Prime's army.

"Any – er - news of Bumblebee or Mirage?" he ventured to Prowl hopefully, already dreading the answer.

*That's a negative,* Prowl said. *But I'm working on it.*

Prime sighed. He was sure Megatron didn't have these problems. "Oh very well!" he said, uncharacteristically snappy and tired sounding. Get everyone to the Assembly Point and we'll roll out. Or rather – stump out."

Ironhide and Ratchet seemed to approve of this suggestion. They turned to go - but a small figure appeared then in the doorway. "Optimus Prime?" it was Huffer.

Oh no, thought Prime. Not more problems with minibots?

"There's a private com call..." the minibot looked even more traumatized than usual. "It came through to me by mistake. It's – its M-m-Megatron!" he stammered.

"Thank you, Huffer - I'll take it!" Prime felt instantly better. This was one of those days where, if his brother was even remotely in the mood, he was seriously going to ask for a cease fire.

…

"Do you want the good news or the bad news first?" Prowl regarded the sullen Autobots, some of whom shrugged while the rest regarded him petulantly.

"The battle's off," Prowl said. "I know..." he held up his hand at the predictable lamentations. "I was rather looking forward to it myself."

There were further protests. But Prowl held his glossa. Everything would change when they heard Prime's commands.

/Look - / the Autobot leader had said, / I want you to round up the other Autobots and direct them to the canyon near Lookout Mountain. No weapons – but some high grade might be in order, Prowl. We're going to talk, not fight./

/Are you sure?/ Prowl had not felt too happy about that! /It could be a Decepticon trick?/

/Negative,/ Prime had said. /If there's one mech I do know, it's my brother. Believe me – he suggested this./

Prowl now relayed this to the others. "I'm sure that for those of you who enjoy a little rough play, that won't be out of the question," he added.

"Y'know – he's right. This sounds like fun!" Much happier sounds came from the other mechs.

Prowl heaved a sigh of relief. Thank goodness Starscream has been so informative! Things were going to be all right here, and even Mirage, it seemed, was unscathed – evidently he had evaded the Decepticons and even captured Rumble in the process!

Disapproving though he may be of Mirage at times, Prowl did confess to being rather envious of the spy's innate ability to cause complete havoc among the Decepticons - and still get out in one piece.

Now, all there was to do was find Bumblebee. And put in another call to Starscream – for they had spoken a while back, and Prowl was certain that the Air Commander had no knowledge of this new development.

Prowl owed him one; yes – besides very much wanted the Seekerto have knowledge of it, he admitted to himself with another twinge of excitement.

…

/Right – time to let go…/ the water had become almost too shallow for the 'sharkticons' to continue. Bee and Rumble let go their hold on Alana's tailfin as Mirage scrambled out – in a way somewhat undignified for the Alphamech, and one that he hoped would not put him in too much of a bad mood. The way he was feeling, he really needed the Alphamech's help now!

Alana headed for the surface. /Gonna transform to boat mode – you let the humans out an' I'll take care of them. /the femme informed Seaspray. /Yay-hay, I'm really getting' a workout today!/

/Not half as much of a one as you're gonna get soon/!/ Seaspray chuckled throatily.

Bee felt tingles go through his systems. This was fantastic! At last he could truly appreciate that sort of talk. But Mirage looked much less than amused. Oh no! Bee so wanted this next part to go right…

Except that – what exactly was the next part? What exactly did he do with his new equipment? And - far worse still - what if the Autobots were waiting for them here?

Bee's spirits sank. They'd go crazy when they saw Bee – what with all the trouble he'd caused. And they'd go even crazier when they saw who he was with! Even Mirage would never be able to save him!

"Whatever happens, just know that I'm – I'm yours," As the water became shallow enough for them to stand up, Bee found his voice - determined to let Rumble know that whatever happened, that was how he felt.

And although Rumble didn't speak, Bee knew the Decepticon cassette felt the same! He decided then and there that it didn't matter what the others thought or said – he was Rumble's and that was that! Now – if they could just get through these waves and backwash…

The going was rough. Bee stumbled as a wave hit him from behind, throwing him forcefully forward. But a strong hand caught his. "Don't despair – for Rumble is near…" and to hear Rumble's voice un-commed for the first time (and saying more poetry!) was like the sound of sweet music…

They were just shoulder-deep. The beach was just visible, through a mist that hovered over the surf. With a thrill, Bee felt Rumble's hand throbbing in his as they struggled through the water, Mirage making his way behind them.

Bee glanced at Seaspray and Alana. Both in boat form now and with the humans on board Alana, they bobbed up and down on the waves. The humans were looking away – and Bee realized with a pang of alarm – they hadn't even spoken to him!

Spike! His great friend! And Chipp – who had so methodically and scientfically predicted the love of his life! But Bee realized guiltily that he could not even focus on sorting his relationship with them at the moment; not until Rumble and he had…

"Darn it - company!" Mirage's voice rang out clearly above the roar of the heaving seas. Bee peered through the mist – and saw that the beach wasn't empty. On it stood not a collection of Autobots - but three winged figures.

And that should have been instantly terrifying, and Bee should have been grappling to get his weapons out instantly; except that he wasn't even sure he could do that! Instead, he found himself thinking hazily, that Seekers were probably better than it being the Autobots…

A second later, the minibot reeled inside. What if they had come to claim him; he, the newly popped mech? Rumble would never be able to fight all three Seekers…

And Seekers had – well – a reputation. Bee had heard Sunstreaker on about it in the rec room. And much as the yellow twin enthused mightily to a captive audience, Bee so didn't want his first real experience to be – that!

Rumble, however, was clearly ready for the occasion. The cassette positively bristled. "Well I'll be slaggin' darned!" he burst out. "Look who it ain't? Well don't worry Bee. If they even lay a finger on you they're gonna wish they'd never been hatched!"

The cassette's compact form simmered beside him like a pot about to boil over. He was so brave! It even made Bee a little nervous.

…

/Say again?/ Standing with his trine on the windswept beach with Prowl again on the comm, Starscream could not hide his delight. Megatron had cancelled the fight?

Oh how priceless. As Prowl went on to explain about Bumblebee, and the Autobot rampage, and how Megatron had been sympathetic to the difficulties given the ones he'd recently experienced over the failure to detain Mirage, and how neither army was in a sufficient state of readiness, the Seeker's mouth spread in a wide broad grin of delight.

So Megatron had found, once again, that he couldn't do without Starscream after all! Now - if Starscream understood things correctly - he wanted Starscream's trine to go and 'be sociable' because none of the others would do it! Starscream could hardly wait to rub it in. And to think he had imagined that today had not turned out well!

/Bumblebee is still missing of course,../ Prowl was saying – but Starscream was only part listening. He was already thinking ahead...

Whatever this 'gathering' was, it might not be so peaceful – once his trine arrived. The Autobots might yet find out what Decepticons were all about – better still, in a way that would make the Decepticon leader look like even more of a fool…

And much as he might have felt just a little guilty where Prowl was concerned, Starscream did not allow himself undue reproach. Surely if he knew the Autobots, they would want a little rough play anyway? If Sunstreaker and his brother weren't game for some jet judo, he'd eat his afterburners.

/Actually…/ Prowl was still talking, /some of our number have been left with rather too much energy to work off. So there'll be plenty of scope besides talking. I was rather hoping Starscream that you and I…/

I rest my case. /We'll be there!/ the Seeker snapped off the comm. There'd be time to consider what he might do with Prowl's soon. Right now, there were new developments - for from the foaming waves, Autobots were emerging.

First, it seemed, a fight here was in order after all! Perfect to get us in the mood…

As the weapons of his trine mates clicked into readiness, Starscream recognized Seaspray and another Cybertronian in boat form…oh yes and – the Seeker chuckled - Mirage would be there too. As usual, they couldn't see the slagger, but they soon would when his friends started getting pulverized; for better still, the boat was carrying two squishies - those ones that always seemed to show up and cause him so much trouble.

Well, there was going to be a nice little skirmish here…And, well now – Starscream peered into the misty waves. Bumblebee didn't seem to be missing after all. Wasn't that him emerging right there? Him and…

For a moment, the Seeker simply stared. Then his mind went back to the Nemesis, to the filmshow and the tape. Suddenly everything fell into place! No wonder Rumble had been so concerned about that tape! And Mirage must have some to try and get that, to save face for Optimus Prime – not to capture Rumble at all!

And the object of what were obviously Bumbelebee's desires had fallen right into his clutches! Instead of preparing for combat, the Decepticon second in command began to laugh - loudly.

"Starscream?" Skywarp and TC were staring, weapons at the ready. "What the pit's goin' on?" Thundercracker demanded.

Starscream could barely contain himself as he reactivated the comm to Prowl /I think I just found your missing Autobot! You're never gonna believe this. He's coming out of the sea - with Rumble. And they're holding hands!/

…

Rumble could not believe the level of anger that arose in him. "Stay here!" he yelled at Bee. "And get those squish – I mean humans out of here!"

"Well don't just float there, move your outboard!" he yelled at Alana.

The great big yellow Autoboat who had transformed back nodded - and the femme responded! Next thing, Alana and squishies were beating a retreat in a spray of surf.

And best of all, Bee was watching, his face a picture of undisguised admiration!

The cassette's spark glowed like a supernova. He, Rumble, was invincible! Even Autobots fell to his command! And if that pit-hatched seeker and his crew thought they could laugh...

Ha ha ha ha… came from the beach. Peering through the mist, Rumble could see that all three of them were doubled up and staggering around. The slaggin' afts! Were they gonna be sorry! Not only was Starscream gonna be laughing from some crack deep in the Earth's core soon but it was about time he got Skywarp back for the pick paint job! Readying his piledrivers, the cassette strode menacingly forward.

But even as he did so, he felt a familiar hand on his shoulder. "Rumble – now hold on…"

No! This was one time that Rumble definitely wasn't letting that posh coghead get in the way! "You think I can't handle them?" he yelled. "Back off Mirage - this is con business. I do it all the time! Just get Bee outta the way. Cos there's gonna be some major Earth movements around here!"

"Rumble you can't cause an earthquake here." Mirage's voice was excruciating. "We'll all get buried, and it will draw the attention of the human emergency services – not to mention the Autobot ones. You don't want that right now, believe me."

There was more laughter from the shore. "Well what then?" Rumble yelled. "You think I'm gonna let them get away with it?"

"Stop making it obvious you're talking to somebody!" Mirage hissed. "Now - if you can distract them, I'll pull Bee and Seaspray under the shield and we'll go behind them and take them by surprise."

"Listen Autobozo, I'm a con! I don't slag around with talking and distractions an' stuff! I go right for…"

But another hand with a much gentler touch – one that sent Rumble's relays reeling again - settled itself on his arm. "Do what he says, Rumble," Bee said. "We're not going to steal your thunder. We'll just – help you."

And how could Rumble resist that voice. "Oh all right then!" he said. "But when I get pissed, I get pissed – get it? So don't you go all woosy on me when multiple spare plane parts start flyin' around!"

…

The boat was retreating. Thundercracker and Skywarp had fired a volley of shots, but they'd missed the target by miles. The two Seekers fell into hopeless convulsions of laughter again beside the air commander – until Skywarp tapped Thundercracker on the arm.

"Hey - Bumblebee an' that other one just vanished – and it ain't my imagination. You know what that means. Remember Sherman Dam? And that time you know who was visible!"

"Yeah…" Thundercracker's laughter also died. He looked nervously around. "And how do we know Soundwave's not gonna come crashing outta there too looking for his precious creation?"

"Oh do shut up!" Starscream was still laughing. "There's no Soundwave. Prowl just told me. Our little hero here seriously thinks he's going to take us on single handed! When we pulverize him, his new beau is bound to appear, and so will the other one – but first let's humour him. Stand your ground, Seekers!"

The other two looked at each other. Skywarp relaxed a little. He lowered his gun. "I guess things could be worse than gettin' bailed up by Mirage," he whispered. "So long as he hangs around this time. The way he took off after that minibot that time – it really pissed me off!"

But Thundercracker's attention was on the furious small figure storming up the beach. "You sure about this, Starscream?" he muttered. "Never mind Mirage - I dunno about him in this kinda mood."

For the cassette seemed to radiate a new confidence, as he splashed his way through the waves and drew to a halt in front of them. "Take it back!" he growled. "Nobody laughs at Rumble and gets away with it!"

The smile disappeared from Skywarp's face The piledivers clicked threateningly. But Starscream appeared more amused than ever. "And what are you going to do with those?" he sneered.

"This!" Rumble said. And without any further ado, he raised just one of the devices. "Brace yourself!" Thundercracker grabbed hold of his trine mate. "I said this was a bad idea!"

But Rumble didn't start hammering as they'd expected. Instead, he brought his piledriver down in one firm stroke, to land with a clang - on Starscream's foot.

The yowl that filled the beach must have been heard all the way to Cybertron. Thundercracker and Skywarp gasped…

And then Starscream was hopping around, and the sound he was making was awful, and Skywarp really shouldn't have found this funnier by far than Rumble holding hands with Bumblebee and yet it was…

Thundercracker started to laugh – he couldn't help it. Both he and Skywarp's howls of mirth filled the air as their commander fell backwards in the sand with a clang. Even the guns that the other two now felt in their backs hardly halted their hysteria…

"Don't try anything." Mirage said smoothly - although even he sounded amused.

Skywarp managed to cease his mirth for a moment. "Well - hello gorgeous!" he said. "Any chance of something other than fighting? I don't think Starscream's gonna stop us!"

"Perhaps…" Mirage's voice held – promise. But it seemed they were all watching the hapless Decepticon air commander. For even as he writhed on the sand, Rumble had leaped on the cockpit glass, his fist raised.

"I've been waitin' for this, slagger!' he yelled. "You any idea how long I've thought that face o'yours needed re-arranging..?"

But then, amazingly, Bumblebee was beside them, and he was catching Rumble's hand, and saying "No Rumble, no violence – please! You should never hit a mech when he's down – even if it's Starscream..."

And Rumble was responding! He turned to Bee and seemed to melt. His fist relaxed and he came over all kind of – mushy looking. "Anything for you," he said.

They gazed into each other's optics. And then, right there in front of them Rumble, Soundwave's hardened minion, Decepticon extraordinaire, stood up and kissed Bumblebee. It was a long and passionate effort, one so poignant that even Thundercracker stopped laughing and coughed, and looked away - and even Starscream's whimpers evaporated into nothing.

"Awww…" Skywarp cocked his helm. "Now ain't that the sweetest thing?"

"Thank Primus…" Mirage removed his gun, gesturing for Seaspray to do the same. Now, all he had to do was conclude their little union…

Not that he wouldn't have a bit of fun here too. The Alphamech figured he'd earned it.