Right, for any new readers, I would recomend for you to read my other Mentalist fic "Not In The Job Description" first, this will make much more sense. Of course, you could keep reading, but there will be some pretty major details needed from the last fic to properly understand it.

Hello again to all you faithful readers! I promised you a sequel soon, and here it is! So please, sit back, enjoy, and review at the end of this chapter :D

Disclaimer: The Mentalist and its characters belong to CBS. Maddy Clark belongs to me

Numb - A Prologue

The office was dark and stuffy, and I found myself wondering how exactly it was supposed to make you feel better. The occupants choice of dark mahogany wood panels on the walls and desk, dark burgundy walls and black carpet hardly made the place light, never mind the fact that the curtains were drawn over the windows, stopping all light and air entering.

Awards sat on the shelves on the walls, and I wondered how exactly he had gotten them. He hadn't told me anything I didn't already know. The office screamed luxury, and it made it quite clear. This guy was paid far too much.

So why, I hear you ask, was I here? Orders from the top. I know, rubbish right? But hey, I wanted to keep my job. I needed to keep my job. It was the only thing I had left in life.

Okay, so I'm being a bit vague, let me fill you in. I've recently discovered something about myself that, needless to say, is a bit of a shock. I'm not who I think I am. I'm the daughter of a murderer, a mass murderer, the same man who, only recently killed my mother and hospitalised me. And he's still out there. So that is the reason why I'm here, in this stuffy room against my better judgement. That's why I was visiting a shrink.

"Now, Madeline-"

"Maddy, it's Maddy," I said through gritted teeth for the fourth time that day

"Maddy, can you tell me, how exactly did you feel when you realised that it was Gary calling you? Were there any...emotions of the past surfacing?

I stared blankly at the little man's face, his little, watery beady eyes, his wrinkled forehead. I gave a sigh.

"Well, obviously, I was scared. Who wouldn't be?"

"But no feelings for him, no confusion? You obviously ended the relationship quickly, maybe-"

"No way! You have got to be joking, he was a murderer, all previous feelings had shriveled up and died immediately!" I raised an eyebrow. He scribbled something down.

"And have you been in a relationship since?"

I paused my rant. "No," was the silent answer he received.

"Mmhhmm," came the answer, and he wrote something else down.

"Hey!" I said craning my neck "I do not have trust issues!"

"Please, Maddy, I am only trying to help here!" He replied tiredly. I suppose I hadn't really given him a chance. Mind you, I don't thank that would have mattered, he still wasn't helping.

"Now, if we may continue?"

I nodded a reply

"Now, tell me, your mother, how are you coping with your loss,"

Ah. The question I'd been dreading. Because to be perfectly honest, I hadn't, and I didn't want to think about it. I thought about it every single minute of the day and night, I didn't need to tell anyone else about it.

"Yeah, yeah fine. Everyone's been very supportive of me," I hid the wobble in my voice with a cough, and he didn't seem to notice. Some shrink he was.

He gave a sigh as his watch beeped. "Oh, look at the time, I'm afraid our session is over, until next week Madeline,"

I sprang up, neglecting to correct him. The quicker I was out of the office the better. He held open the door, and I gave him a strained smile before swiftly exiting the room. I couldn't run down the steps quick enough, shoes slapping off the floorboards, and sprinted out to my car, unlocking the door and flinging myself behind the wheel. That was when the tears started.

I gripped the steering wheel tightly, my knuckles turning white, and screwed my eyes tight shut. When was this going to get better? I didn't see an end, just darkness, and loneliness and guilt and fear and dread. The sleepless nights, the panic attacks, the constant worry and paranoia. Those few days had wrecked me completely. I looked in the mirror at my bloodshot eyes before shaking my head.

"Oh, pull yourself together Clark!" I muttered darkly before rubbing my face in my hands.

My fingers lingered over the scar on my cheek, Red John's permanent reminder. The doctor had warned me that it would probably never fade completely, it had been too deep. Now it served as a sobering reminder. I shook my head again, starting the car and rolled down the windows before driving off. Maybe the wind would blast away some of the worry. But even if it didn't, I didn't want to turn up to work like this.

It was a quiet Saturday morning, and the traffic was good. I made good time, reaching the office in half an hour before pulling up at my usual spot outside. A shining blue Citreon DS sat nearby, and with a relieved smile, I realised that Jane was already here. I'd need a good cup of tea to revive me after that appointment.

The elevator door pinged and I stepped out, heading over to my desk. I received a small smile from Van Pelt on the way, which I returned, before sitting down and stuffing my car keys in the drawer. Jane sat up straight at his position on the couch, took one look at me before springing up, grabbing my arm and dragging me to the kitchen, shouting in a sing-song voice "Tea!"

He sat me down, humming a cheerful tune as he busied himself filling the kettle and milking and sugaring the cups. He swirled around while the water was boiling, fixing me with his all knowing eyes. A smirk appeared on his face.

"Had fun at the shrink?"

I rolled my eyes, and that was enough to tell him what I thought of the whole affair. He gave a little chuckle before pouring the water into the cups. I accepted my own happily, taking a neat sip before giving a sigh.

"Oh god, I need this," I muttered, closing my eyes contentedly. That was another reason I needed work. It helped me forget, if only for a little while.

"So I take it that it didn't go well," Jane sat down opposite with his own mug

"What gave it away?" it was supposed to be a rhetorical question. I should have known he's answer it.

"Well, you still seem tense. Your eyes are a little red, probably from crying but it could be the lack of sleep. Your appointment finished at ten, but here you are nearly an hour later,"

"The traffic was bad," I lied swiftly. He pointed a finger

"Liar. Ten o'clock on saturday, it's never bad,"

I ignored him, "And I wasn't crying. I had the window open, it was blowing in my eyes, making them water," What a pathetic excuse.

He gave a sigh, "You don't need to lie to me Maddy, you know that. I've been there,"

"Yes well, maybe I'm just not ready to admit anything," I frowned stubbornly, watching the tea swill around the cup.

"Well, when you are," he didn't need to continue. I started to fidget with my scar.

"What's worrying you?"

"Hmmm?" I looked up confused.

He pointed at my hand, which was running down the length of the cut, slowly, over and over. I realised what I was doing and stopped, sitting on my hands to stop myself fidgeting.

"Nothing. I'm fine, honest," He raised an eyebrow

"How's the insomnia?"

"Jane! Please, I've just had an hour of constant interrogation, I don't need this!"

He held up his hands in surrender, and I groaned, feeling guilty. Trust me to push away the only people I had left.

"Sorry-"

"Nah, don't worry about it," he smiled. Oh God, that smile made me weak at the knees.

"No really, I'm sorry, your only trying help and I'm acting like a three year old throwing a tantrum,"

He gave a short laugh before taking another sip of tea. I did the same, draining the cup.

"Right, work to be done, some of us can't spend all day dozing on sofas and drinking tea," I chirped, standing up and heading to the office.

"Meh, I'm just saving my energy for more important things other than typing,"

"Oh yes, like what?" I countered over my shoulder.

Lisbon appeared from along the corridor, getting the attention of the team and stopping Jane's answer.

"We've got a stabbing, university soil, take two cars incase we need to split," The team moved into action on her words.

I jumped as a voice whispered in my ear "For important things like this,"

I gave myself a shake before sighing and following the eager consultant out of the door.

Oh yeah, it has STARTED!

New readers, ye be warned. As my older readers will tell you, Maddy likes a good cup of tea. There never seems to be a chapter without one.

I'm also planning on having a lot more tension between the two...this should be fun :)

REVIEW!!!