7.
Characters/Pairings – Ayane, Jo, Pin
Rating – K+
Genre – General, Romance

this is how the laughter fails

You examine your freshly manicured nails and stare vacantly to the baseball field beyond the window, cringing at the glaring sunlight that filters through the window and lounges on your table. You keep the frustrations to yourself before picking up your pencil to half-heartedly copy down the equation Pin reads from the textbook he has in his hands; his feet are propped on the surface of his desk and he doesn't seem that inclined to continue.

I'm too busy staring at you to do the same. When I realise that my notebook is empty, Pin has already grown bored of teaching and is threatening us to complete the assigned homework. You don't like it, I can tell by the ferocity in your eyes at the superiority dug deep in his words. I don't know – you look scary, but pretty at the same time.

Is this what they call a young man's love?

I wouldn't know, though I've tried find it to countless times despite the disbelief of the guys.

When I approach you to ask if you can lend me your notebook to copy, you raise your eyebrow and snap at me like you usually do. Its definitely scary, and my knees tremble against your hostility. What happened to the Ayane which held my arm so tightly on Christmas day? To the Ayane that smiled and laughed quite dryly, but expressed so much interested in me – it was the first time a girl bothered to notice me. And even though tiny holes burned their way into my favourite jacket, I honestly didn't mind. I can only hope that she'll return soon – maybe in time for the school festival, that would be something to look forward to.

Sadako timidly offers to lend her notebook to me, but I state that I just want yours. Yours is special, but I don't tell you that.

"Take it, take it, I wasn't writing anything down anyway," you bite quite scathingly after a few more efforts on my part. And I do take it, I bring it back to me on my desk just so I can admire your handwriting. But when I open the book, I come to stare at pages filled with eraser dust and markings left on blank pages. I feel the indents on the paper, and realise that you've erased away all the math formulas and equations from past lessons– and I'm not smart, so I don't understand what that means.

What I do see is how you look at Pin in class, when you think no one notices. Sometimes, I'll wishfully imagine that you're using those eyes to look at me instead. But I can push the thought away, as easily as I can laugh when the guys come and grab my head and force me down into a playful (painful) huddle.

This is what a young man's love is supposed to be like, right?