A/N: Hey guys!! I just want to let out a quick note that I know that some of you are reading this story partially because of the lemon I promise you all. Well here's the thing. There is a hint of lemon coming and there will be a bit of it in the next chapter, but not a whole lot. The REAL lemon might come in three or four chapters from now. I'm still deciding. So when the time comes, I want to give you a bit of taste of it in the next chapter and I want you to tell me how it is. If it's not too great, then I would know how dirty or how descriptive I have to be for the big one. So let me know, okay?
I do NOT own TMM or the songs or the movies that I use in my stories. I only come up with the ideas and the changes in them. Thank you all for the wonderful reviews and please keep them coming. I'm so happy that this story is starting to get a bit popular from one or two reviews a chapter to four a chapter. Yeah!! I'm happy.
Thank you and please enjoy!!
Ch. 14: I Will Protect You
Ichigo must have run for miles. She just kept running to blow off some steam. Making her legs work and burn to distracted her from the cloud of confusion that still consumes her heart. Besides the burning of her lungs, the desire for water in her throat, and the sharp pains in her legs, there is another pain she's feeling, a pain she hasn't felt in her chest before. After a good long distance, she stopped and then panted. Her mouth open, her chest rising up and down, the pain in her legs numbing away, the sweat dripping down her brow and everywhere else on her body, and her skin feeling sticking and dirty. None of those feelings really matter anymore. The pain in her chest over powered them all. Then she realized what it was.
Heart ache, pain of a broken heart.
After running a great distance, she leaned on the wall of a tunnel and just sat there. She curled up into a ball, wrapping her arms around herself and bringing her legs close to her body as her side leans against the wall. Many minutes passed or maybe hours for all she knew. She didn't care. As long as she was alone to her thoughts, she was okay.
Then a hand touched her shoulder and gently shook her.
"Hey, kitty cat."
It's Kisshu, with his hand still lightly shaking her still body while he sits down besides her.
"Kitty caaaat! Kitty cat, wake up."
"I am awake, Kisshu," she finally answers him. He instantly pulls his hand back when she answered. "I have been since I came here."
"Oh," he lets out after getting his answer. He still sits beside her but now with his back leaning against wall and his head turned to look at her. "Sorry. How ya doing?"
"What does it look like? She asks, like a stubborn child.
"Terrible. Were you like this all night?"
"It's morning already?"
He nods. "Pretty much. Crack of dawn actually. Everyone is starting to get ready for bed. Since there are only four rooms, Lettuce is sharing a room with Pai and since Taruto is finally on good terms with Pudding, she's sharing a room with him."
"And I'm supposed to share a room with you?" she asks, her voice almost bitter.
He tries to jock by saying, "Come on, kitty. Don't be so mean. I'm not that evil."
"Oh good god," she breathes out in disbelief. "How could you be thinking of something like that at a time like this?! I'm not in the mood, nor have I ever been! So get your fuckin head out of the fuckin gutter."
"You're the one having the dirty thoughts, kitty cat."
"Whatever. Just leave me alone and get some rest. I just want everything to stay away from me."
"Nope. Not tired."
But Ichigo knows that isn't the case.
"What part of 'stay away' do you not understand?"
"The 'away' part. Ichigo, I'm not an idiot."
"No, you're not. But you're still a dumbass."
"Okaaay… I'm not a dumbass either. I know you're upset about this, Ichigo. I would be too. I also know that you want to be alone and handle this all on your own. But I'm not leaving to let you do that."
"And why not? I'm not a damsel in distress, and you the dashing prince who saves me."
He tries to be cocky again. "You think I'm dashing?"
"Kisshu…" she calls, her voice sounding rather threatening.
"To answer your question, it's because how I look at it, you've been handling everything by yourself. You handled the pain of your life changing right before your eyes, you were the only one who handled the burden of keeping Lettuce's secret a secret, you handled the self control of keeping your feelings hidden away from the world, and right now, you're handling everything we just told you and the new pain it gave you. You're handling all of that by yourself, all on your own. I don't want you to do that."
"And why not? Just because you just found out that I'm the farm girl you father mentioned before you could even remember my face?"
"It's not just that," he answers, ignoring the smeared word and the sarcasm in her voice. It's also because I know for a fact that you've been alone for the past eleven years. I want you to know for a fact that I don't want you to be alone anymore."
"What on this god forsaken, damn green earth makes you think I was alone all these years? Before I heard about this fucked up shit, I had the Blue Knight and I had the other members of our team."
"And which one of your teammates could you consort with? Lettuce is a humble, understanding, peacemaking girl and Pudding went through similar pain, but who understood you and knew you like he or she knew the back of his or her hand? Who made you laugh and smile on a regular daily basis? Who was there for you when you wanted a shoulder to cry on? Who knew you the way I or our parents did? And if you say it was that hunter from this morning, I'm gonna regret only biting him."
Ichigo chuckled once after she heard that. It was the first good emotional reaction she had since several hours ago. "Masaya only flattered me. He and I weren't close. I only saved his butt from getting fucked and sucked on by a vampire who crashed his graduation party."
"I see," he mumbles. He could have said 'Like I care' and Ichigo would have been fine with that. "But you get my point right?"
"I get your point but we haven't seen each other in eleven years!" she yells. "I've changed, and obviously you did too. I don't remember you always being this cocky or so carefree like everything is right with the world when really, it's not! How in all hell could you possibly understand me now?"
"Because if you're anything like the little girl I used to hold when we were kids, then I understand enough. I also told you that I understand that if it were the other way around for us, I would just be devastated, hurt, and confused as you if father lied to me and he killed my parents. Not like he doesn't already blame himself for what happened."
"He has every right to," she tells him, her voice sounding like her usual cold, hard self. "If his brother didn't find out about your parents and how he was watching over the woman he can never have and her perfect life with her happy family, then they would still be alive. Even my parents would still be alive."
This time, Kisshu looks away. He looks down at the ground before him with guilt and the sense of loss in his eyes as he mumbles to her, "No one knew it was going to happen. No one, not even father, knew that his brother would find us. I don't hold a grudge against father because he didn't know. There was no warning or alarm of danger ringing for him, or anyone, to hear when it happened. Why can't you at least understand that."
"The only thing that I don't understand is what you told me long time ago," she answers. "Do you at least remember what it is?"
Kisshu looks at her again in confusion of her words before he answers, "I told you many things, Ichigo. Many that my parents told me to help me understand."
"Then how's this for a clue? Cheep, cheep, meow, meow."
Kisshu's eyes widen at that. "The cat that killed your chick."
"Yeah." When she started to speak again, her voice that was well controlled and quiet became loud and almost out of control. "You told me that to get something, something must be taken away. Equal value. What exactly did our parents gain after their lives were taken away?! What did you and I gain after that night?! Because the only thing I see is that our parents are dead, you became a vampire that survives on the blood of humans, and I became a vampire hunter who hasn't cried since the day I thought you died!!"
There was silence for a bit and Kisshu was as shock as if someone just shot him in the chest. As the silence lasted a little longer, his features soften and he asks her, "You've been strong all these years because of me?"
She didn't answer right away. When she did, she nodded first. "You can say that. If I ever wanted to protect something again, I didn't want to be so weak that I couldn't. I trained every day till my hands bleed, till I drowned in my own sweat, till my legs were begging to give up, until I passed out. Truth was, it was my fault anyway. I'm the reason that they're dead."
He knew what she was talking about. "Ichigo, don't you dare say that! How could you have done anything back them? You were only seven years old."
"And yet I survived?! I am the only one who survived that night with my humanity and the terrible, happy memories that came with it! How is that fair?! The only thing I gained after my family was taken away was a broken heart and the horrifying sight that's been haunting me in my sleep. The corny part is that I haven't dream about anything else besides that image and I remembered every detail about it! Is that what I received after the best thing in my life was taken away?!!" Then her body begins to shake and she curls up more into a ball. Then he figured something out. He didn't even knew why he missed it when if it were a snake, it would have bitten him hard in the ass.
He asks her, "Were you and are you…crying Ichigo?"
On Ichigo's face are fresh tears, rolling down her face and leaving a wet trail behind on her nose and her cheek bones. Her bottom lip quivers, her eyes are red, and her eye lids are beginning to swell up. She's been like this since the time she stopped at this place. Knowing that he found out about her tears, Ichigo uses one hand to cover her eyes and she lowers her head till the point that her chin presses against her chest. More tears continue to escape her eyes and now some are dripping down to her ear closest to the ground. Kisshu moves a little closer to her and towers over so that he can see her tears. His face softens up completely.
"Oh, Ichigo." Then he lies down next to her and wraps his arms around her from behind. She didn't seem to mind when his arms wrap around her waist and pull her close as his chin leans on her shoulder. He whispers, "You said that you haven't cried since the day I 'died' right?" She didn't answer. She wouldn't dare. If she did, it would have been pitchy and then she might sob. "So many tears held back over the years." He pulls her closer, pressing her body to his. "It's okay to let them out. Nothing needs to be proved."
Then she spoke. "You're wrong."
As assumed, it was pitchy but she didn't sob. Something distracted her from crying like a baby right there and then. She takes his arms off her and instantly sits up so that she can face him and yell, "My tears did dry out the day I became a vampire hunter and even if they didn't, I wouldn't cry even if my life depended on it! Tears do nothing but show weakness! It shows anyone your weakness! What makes you sad, what makes you so angry to the point of breaking down, and what makes you happy! Even if I was completely alone in a room with no vampires or enemies a hundred miles near where I am, I wouldn't cry. It's a waste of time and effort."
"Is that what he told you?"
Ichigo's eyes widen in surprise as Kisshu sits up to be on level eye with her. "You shouldn't retain yourself from crying even if there aren't any enemies around. Being able to cry does give the enemy an idea of what they can use against you, but being able to cry shows that you have feelings. You have a heart, and having a heart makes you ten times stronger than you are now."
"What are you talking about?" she asks, now totally confused. "The heart only gets in the way of what needs to be done. You can't accomplish a mission if your heart is distracting you from your duties."
"Now shut up. I don't want to hear that asshole talking. I want to hear Ichigo talking."
"I am talking and these are my words."
"Yeah, words of poison that was pass down from one sick guy. Let me give you a new lesson about fighting. I know that you're unbelievably strong since you just put a hole in the wall and you broke my jaw, which is just as amazing as even punching a crack in the wall. But it doesn't matter how many walls you break down or how many bones you crack. None of that proves to me how strong you really are. You could be, physically, the strongest human alive but you're heart could still be weak. A dying man would still protect his love ones and man who has never held a sword before can still kill another man to protect his love ones. I bet you that if Lettuce ever gets kidnapped by another vampire or a human that overpowered her, as impossible as you may think that to be, Pai would not only fight to the death with the kidnapper but he would also destroy at least half of the city trying to look for her. If his life was in danger, Lettuce would also risk her life to protect him. Same would go for Taruto and Pudding and same thing would go to me." His hands rise to her face and he cups it with his hands. Her eyes are wide now as he's closer to her now, their foreheads only an inch away and he stares in her eyes, deep within her very soul as he says, "Defiantly, same thing would go for me. If anything even thinks of threatening you, I would protect you. Look what I did to that vampire in the club."
Ichigo looks to the side and she tells him, "You didn't have to do that. I would have taken care of him myself."
"And how much faster was I compared to you by the time you even reached you gun?" She looks back at him after that. He has a point. "You're just as important to me as father is. I promise to protect you both because you two are all I have left of my former life. I love you, Ichigo."
Her eyes widen again and this time she feels as though something has finally broken all these years. Like an evil spell, casted on her to make her heart as cold and hard as ice.
She still tries to avoid his eyes as she tells him, "Thanks for the thought and kindness, I guess. But rather what you just told is true or not, I already told you I can take care of myself. I have been for many years."
"Sometimes, people don't have to protect people from physical pain or physical damage. There's mental damages and mental pain as well. I promise you that you will never feel sad or lonely again."
Now she looks down at the ground and she can feel more tears gathering at her eyes. "Don't make promises you can't keep. But if you want to try, you can start by leaving me alone."
"Why?" he asks, a bit confused.
"Because right now, I feel disgusted and I might feel better if you leave me alone."
Well that's new.
"Why do you feel disgusted?"
"Because I look like shit right now!" she answers, almost screaming in annoyance. "Do I have to spell it out to you?"
Hearing that did startle Kisshu. But then he puts on half smile that says 'you're acting silly, you know that'. He tilts her head to him and she looks back up as now their nose lines are touching. "You look beautiful to me, kitty cat. You were adorable when you were a kitten and now you're a beautiful, full grown lioness."
She can literally taste the flavor of his breath in her mouth from being so close. For a name that means 'quiche', which is an egg pie pastry from France, his breathe tastes like mint chocolate. So irresistible and addicting and yet so refreshing and delicious. Like a sudden rush of warm, gooey goodness and a cold rush of release. To think that in one swift move, and she's strong enough to do so with his hand holding her face, she can get a full taste of his breathe and maybe even more. Her heart pounds in her breast, releasing pulses of passion and yearning throughout her body. Since when has she ever felt this way about anyone or anything? She's certain that she never felt like this when she was child. He was her dear friend, like a big caring brother who loved her like a sister.
And even though she's feeling like this now, he might not. Maybe that's all he feels towards her. A sibling love. Not a love between two soul mates that have finally reunited through the powers of true love.
Knowing this, and thinking that sudden desire to be absolutely ridiculous, tries to tell him, "A lioness has to hunt for the male while he does nothing but sit around and in pregnant them."
"True," he agrees. "But a lioness is also a good example of female independence, which I guess, suits you. Or do you want me to call you a jaguar, which is an example of exquisite beauty?" Okay now he's back to his carefree, cocky self.
'Or you can just kiss me already,' Ichigo thinks, actually wishing that she would say that instead of only thinking about it. She tries to control herself but something is being released and it's starting to overpower her.
"Or you can…" she pauses. "…let me go and lead me back to the others. They're probably wondering where we are, or at least Lettuce and Pudding would be."
"I don't think you need to worry," he tells her, much to her surprise. "Because one of them has other things going on in her mind."
She was afraid of what that could be. "Like what?"
Then her heart begins to beat faster when a grin appears on his face. He leans a little closer and whispers, "Why don't I show you?"
Before Ichigo could even blink, Kisshu's mouth found hers and plants a sweet, loving, yet exciting kiss on her lips. Whatever was overpowering her is now being released. The chain broke and the lioness is hungry.