Hey all! Really, I thought I died too (ahem NIMEWAY) but it just turns out... i'm lazy! who knew? Anyway, for a while there i didn't think i could finish this story, since my microsoft office wasn't cooperating, which really puts me in a tight spot vis a vis this story! But, I found a way around the glitch, woohoo! Took me long enough, eh? It's been a friggin year, Batman!

Nimeway - Hehe, well, dead or not, i'm a zombie now... nomnomnom! And FINALLY updating! Dance! And thanks, I like refined better than old, it's so much more... user-friendly, lol!

Lunabellla - Lol Thanks! Mee too! :P

Bad Romance

Chapter Five

After two more months, Kagome was wishing she could throw in the towel.

Nothing fit. Only the adjustable jeans she'd bought on a trip home and long stretchy t-shirts kept her from donning that awful, hot, itchy priestess outfit that Kaede wore, of which she had offered to loan Kagome a spare. But she wasn't having it.

And the mood swings! One moment she was so happy with her life she could cry, and did, and in a flash she was murderously angry, usually at Inuyasha. She had to admit he was taking one for the team every time she thundered him with her anger, but to his credit he took it in stride, often calming her instead of aggravating her further. He was certainly learning tolerance in her company.

Sesshoumaru had visited twice since their informative meeting two months earlier. He had sent her a pigeon demon to serve as her messenger, but Kagome had had no call to use him yet. Besides, he spent most of his time hanging out with the other normal pigeons anyway. He often returned to the hut for the night and delighted in keeping them up with pigeon gossip, in which, of course, no one had an interest.

In fact, she was expecting Sesshoumaru again any time now, as she dipped her toes in the stream outside Kaede's. She sighed. She was big enough now that her feet had disappeared. She hoped one day to see them again, but didn't hold onto that thought long. It was too depressing!

She had interesting news from her side of the well, today. The day before she had gone for an ultrasound, her second, and, even though her doctor was mystified by the rapid growth rate of her baby, she assured him nothing was wrong and that she felt fine; she hadn't even suffered any morning sickness, thank God.

Still, he surprised her by rubbing the module around in the freezing jelly on her skin and remarking offhandedly, "Huh. No wonder you're so big already. There are two in there."

Kagome had jumped. "What?"

He pointed at the screen. There were clearly two bodies there.

She smiled. Then she frowned. Twins! Ugh. She was only expecting one!

She'd left, not quite sure how to feel. But a candy bar had made her feel better and her family had rejoiced at the news. She'd smiled and nodded, good-naturedly taking Souta's constant belly-rubbing (he liked to pretend she was Buddha and would give him good luck; usually she gave him a smack.)

Of course, that didn't solve her dilemma. What was Sesshoumaru going to do with two heirs?

Oh well. She thought. I'll let him worry about it. I'll just worry about feeding them I wonder if its lunch time yet?

That was another thing. She was constantly hungry. Luckily, though, she hadn't gained weight anywhere except her expanding waistline. She fervently hoped it returned after the twins were born.

A wasp flew near, inspecting her ear as a possible nesting place, and she waved it away, irritated. She hated wasps. They reminded her of Naraku.

Naraku...

They had not had a run-in with him since a while before her short interlude with Sesshoumaru, three months earlier. It was a nice reprieve, and she hoped it lasted. She dreaded facing him in this condition, or his even finding out about it. She could only imagine what sorts of horrible things he would think of to torture her and her friends, using her as the tool.

She had considered spending her pregnancy at home in the future, but knew that was impossible. She not only had work to do here (which they had been slacking off in lately), but Inuyasha and her friends, and Sesshoumaru, were here. Besides, she was avoiding her school friends. They'd eat her alive if they knew what she'd been keeping from them!

Kagome sighed. She'd have to forget about final exams, too, for now anyway. Oh well. At least today promised to be a nice day, as long as lunch was ready soon...

Abruptly she cradled her gut and tried to stand. Two jewel shards were coming her way, pronto.

Ugh, she moaned inwardly. Kouga!

A shower of dust settled upon her and blew her hair out of whack as Kouga strolled up to her, only to be hindered when trying to pull her close by her protruding mid-section.

"Kagome! Long time no see. I hope Mutt-face has been treating you goo- Oof!"

She grunted as he made contact, and the baby on the bottom kicked out, catching her under the rib.

"Ow!"

He stared at her. "What the hell? When did that happen?" He pointed rudely at her stomach.

She gasped, trying to recover from the inner abuse. "Hello to you, too, Kouga."

He grabbed up her hands and pulled her close again, mindful of her belly this time and lowered his voice, his face close. "Don't worry, Kagome. He'll pay for what he's done to you, I promise!"

She lifted a brow. "Who, exactly, will pay?"

He snorted, dropping her hands to cross his arms in his usual stance. "Mutt-face, who else? Only he would do something stupid like this, especially when Naraku has been snooping around using that bitch wind witch of his, Kagura-"

"Kouga, it takes two! Besides... Wait, did you say Kagura's been hanging around? Here?" She forgot to distract him from her children's parentage, fear for their safety taking precedence.

"Well, not right here, but toward the West a ways. Don't think she's been this far yet. Unless you've seen her?"

She shook her head, her arms clutching her belly tightly, lovingly. He frowned.

"So? What did Mutt-face say when you told him?" He gestured to her stomach. "By the way, I'm mad at you for letting this happen, you know."

She blinked, giving him her attention again. He certainly didn't look mad. He looked goofy, grinning like he was, the happy idiot.

She shrugged. "He wasn't exactly overjoyed."

He growled. "Why not? I would have been! I would have showed you, too." He winked.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure. None of us was very impressed, to tell you the truth."

It was his turn to be nonplussed. "Why?"

She stared at him as if he was a moron. "I'm too young for one thing. For another, I wasn't ready for it. I'm still not. And thirdly, I'm having twins!" She regretted a little that he was the first to know that, since she'd planned to tell everyone at lunch, but she pushed on anyway. "And now you tell me Kagura's sniffing around nearby! This whole deal just keeps getting better and better! What's a girl got to do besides run away altogether to get through a pregnancy in peace around here?" She was shouting now, and he was wincing.

Kouga, at a loss for words, turned out his hands.

She snorted, "Well, you're a big help."

He shrugged. "Usually, I am." He looked her over again, and sighed. "So you picked him over me. I still can't believe it. And after I claimed you first, too... Such a pity."

She guffawed. "It's not like you were here all the time pursuing me!"

He shrugged again. "I've got a tribe to run, Kagome. You could have stayed with me." He waggled his eyebrows at her.

She crossed her arms, resting them on her gut. "Inuyasha would never have allowed that. Besides, I have obligations to him, not you!"

He sighed. "My good deeds are always going unnoticed..."

She barked a laugh. "Good deeds? You kidnapped me!"

He grinned. "I'm not going to apologise for it, either."

She glowered at him. "That is redundant."

He just smiled.

She glared. Turning away from him, she remarked, "I should tell Inuyasha. He'll want to find out what Kagura's been up to." Kouga followed her into Kaede's hut.

"Kaede, is lunch ready yet?"

The old miko laughed. Kagome's appetite of late was sort of becoming a running joke.

"Almost, Kagome. Oh, I didn't know ye had a guest." She eyed Kouga up and down. It was not often he came this far east, but Kaede had heard stories, and it was easy to guess who this demon was. He seemed to live up to his reputation; he dogged Kagome to her place by the fire as they waited for the others to congregate for the mid-day meal.

Kagome sighed. "Yes. Just one." She turned to give Kouga a glare, of sorts. "Your pack will find food elsewhere, yes? We can't feed everyone. Besides, I'm very hungry." Her threat hung in the air, begging him to spring the trap, but he waved a hand dismissively.

"That's fine."

Kagome raised a brow anyway, and gathered up her eating utensils, ready to be the first served. That, too, had become a habit of hers.

Sango and Kirara walked in, greeted Kouga, and sat down, followed closely by Miroku, who leaned his staff by the door before taking his place, and finally, Inuyasha wandered in carting Shippo, who went straight to Kagome, who, before he could pounce on her, held a lollipop up in his face, diverting his attention and avoiding a kick to her gut, this time from the outside. Those on the inside were abusive enough!

"Humph. What are you doing here, wolf?" Inuyasha squeezed in on Kagome's other side, and glared over her at his nemesis in love.

Kouga replied, "Hello to you, too, Mutt-face. After lunch I'm gonna kick your ass."

Inuyasha sat up, offended. "Excuse me?"

Kouga grinned. "You heard me. I did not agree to let this-" he pointed at Kagome's belly, "-happen. We're going to have more than words over your high-handed treatment of my woman."

Inuyasha guffawed. "Your woman? Kagome, when did that happen?"

Kagome, eagerly taking her portion of the delicious stew Kaede was dishing up, replied absently, "When did what happen? Mmm, this is so good!"

Inuyasha sighed. Food was becoming too much of an obsession for her. They were going to have to have one of those things for her, what were they called? Intersections? No, that wasn't it...

"This stupid wolf thinks you're his woman. Did you tell him whose baby you're carrying? Intervention!"

Kagome was already holding out her bowl for seconds, but paid more attention now that her hunger was somewhat sated. "Kouga! I never said that, Inuyasha. And no, I didn't." She took a bite. "Oh, and it turns out I'm having twins." She frowned. "Intervention for what?"

Everyone looked up sharply, but Kaede, having suspecting the development for a while now, smiled benignly. "Good for ye, Kagome!"

Inuyasha smiled at her. "Really? Huh." He hoped she'd forget amid all the praise what he'd accidentally suggested out loud.

Sango and Miroku reached out to rub her belly (she regretted ever having told them about Souta's annoying little habit! Now it was everyone's annoying little habit) and congratulate her, while Kouga's mouth hung open.

She smiled at Inuyasha around her mouthful of stew and gently pushed Kouga's jaw closed with her fingers. "You'll catch a fly in there if you're not careful." Then she swallowed.

"Thanks, you guys. I was so not expecting the doctor to tell me that. I just thought my baby had a million limbs, but twins explain everything rather nicely." She grinned.

Inuyasha grabbed her shoulders and planted a kiss on her cheek, something Kouga had not expected him to do. Inuyasha was not a mutt prone to public displays of affection. Quite the opposite, in fact.

It burned him to see Inuyasha holding her, touching her in a way that was more familiar than he himself had ever been allowed to touch her. He frowned.

Miroku laughed over his share of stew, "Just think how happy Sesshoumaru will be, Kagome."

She giggled. "I'll bet."

Kouga's brows came down hard. "Sesshoumaru? What's he got to do with this? Mutt-face, are you getting along with your mutt-brother enough to make him a God-parent or something?"

Inuyasha glared at him, but Kagome laughed. "Of course not, Kouga. Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru can barely tolerate each other, you know that." She was beginning to enjoy his ignorance, and, looking at her friends private smiles, could see they were too!

Inuyasha was smiling now, too, that cruel smile he reserved for his brother and Kouga, and, sometimes, Naraku, when he had the upper hand, that is. That, and Kagome had forgotten about the Intervention. Yes!

Looking at Kagome, he asked, for Kouga's benefit only, "When is Sesshoumaru coming, by the way?"

She shrugged. "Sometime today, I think."

Kouga watched this by-play, totally mystified. It was like they were speaking Greek, or something!

He held out his hands. "Hold on just a minute. Will someone please explain to me what's going on here?"

They all looked at him innocently.

Kirara meowed.

Kouga glared at them all, finally asking through gritted teeth, "May I speak to you outside, Kagome? Privately?"

She blinked. "I suppose so. Do you mind if I eat while we're talking?"

He shook his head in exasperation. "I don't give a shit, just come on!" He pulled her up, practically dragging her outside.

Standing her up straight next to the stream outside, he tried to stare her down but failed, since she never looked up from her food. He sighed inwardly.

"Please, Kagome, don't play with me like this. I hate it."

She looked up then, the tone of anguish in his voice making her take pity on him. They really had been rude to string him along, she supposed.

She sighed, too. "I'm sorry, Kouga. It's just been a while since anyone around here was out of the loop. My babies don't belong to Inuyasha."

He blinked. They didn't? Then...

She continued. "They're Sesshoumaru's."

His vision bled red before him. He'd thought Inuyasha's being the father was bad enough; at least, it wasn't that surprising. He'd expected it, somehow, because those two were just so natural together, like red beans and rice, but... Sesshoumaru? That threw more than just a wrench into the inner-workings of his thought processes. It backed up the whole machine and production abruptly stopped, momentarily.

She watched his eyes elongate, flickering between red and blue, his fists clenching. She quickly touched him, letting her holy powers sting him just a bit, as a warning.

He jerked.

"Kouga, stop it. It's not the end of the world. Look, I'm sorry if you thought we had something, but we don't. That doesn't mean I don't like you, of course." She smiled to soften the blow. "You come in quite handy in a tough spot, you know. And you're funny." She giggled now, as his ears twitched. "If it's possible, I would very much like to remain your friend."

He let out his breath at that last. Her eyes were soft, pleading. He melted.

"Of course, Kagome." He gathered her into a hug, and she let him hold her. Hopefully, her message had been received loud and clear, and he would aggravate Inuyasha no further with his claims on her person.

She smiled into his chest. "Thank you, Kouga."

He sighed, and then inhaled the scent of her. She still smelled the same, mostly. There was a tinge of something else there now, something soft, fragile, yet extremely strong. He couldn't put his finger on it.

"Isn't this a cosy conference."

Sesshoumaru's inflectionless voice broke the spell. Kouga swore silently.

Kagome turned in Kouga's arms, a bright smile for the Western Lord on her face. "Sesshoumaru!"

She broke free, and walked as fast as she could toward him, her arms outstretched, and, to Kouga s complete amazement, Sesshoumaru let her touch him.

And she wasn't just touching him, he saw. She was hugging him, and he was taking it!

He even saw the normally stoic Lord bestow a slight smile on Kagome as she turned her face up to see his. They seemed completely at home in each other's arms, and he could see now, why. They embraced as two who have shared themselves with each other do. He frowned a bit.

It appeared to him that Sesshoumaru had not taken Kagome to mate; this was not a surprise, even though he himself would have completely ignored convention and done exactly that, were he in Sesshoumaru's expensive shoes. Instead, she seemed to have decided to stay with Mutt-face, yet she still maintained a close relationship with the father of her children. He was totally baffled by Kagome's magnanimity.

Sesshoumaru's voice broke into his thoughts. "How are you faring so far, my dear? How did your appointment go yesterday?"

Holy shit, Kouga thought. Was Sesshoumaru being... attentive? To a human? This was too weird!

Kagome had released him from her embrace and was now leading him to the hut by the hand. "I'm doing just fine, and so are they." She rubbed her bulging stomach.

Sesshoumaru jerked her to a stop, and she bounced back like a dog at the end of its tether. "They?"

She grinned.

He smiled back, really smiled, and leaned down to kiss her! On the forehead, but still!

Kouga felt his eyes roll back in his head, and Kagome and Sesshoumaru both turned to watch the wolf crumple to the ground in a dead faint.

Sesshoumaru raised a brow, and Kagome snorted, smiling.

Poor Kouga!

Shippo waved his hands in front of Kouga's unconscious eyes. The wolf was completely out of it.

Sango sighed. Miroku chuckled. Inuyasha followed the others outside and took in the scene at a glance.

"-And I guess it was all just too much for him," Kagome was explaining, Sesshoumaru standing silently behind.

Inuyasha laughed. "Ha ha! That stupid wolf."

Kagome rolled her eyes. "We should move him out of the road. I'm afraid he won't wake up in time to avoid getting run over."

Inuyasha snorted. "Feh. Leave him."

She frowned at him, but implored Miroku to assist her move the wolf, which he did with a smile.

Sesshoumaru lifted a brow at the lifeless wolf tribe leader, and was tempted to cluck his tongue in disappointment. Oh well. At least Raidon hadn t shown up... yet.

After Kouga was safely on the roadside, Kagome asked him, "Would you like some lunch?"

Sesshoumaru shook his head. "No, thank you."

She shrugged. "Suit yourself. More for me!"

Inuyasha smiled at her enthusiasm. Not too long ago Kagome had been the one to always eat last, or give up her share for someone who had none, or whatever the case happened to be. Now, it was get out of the way, or get your leg gnawed off by a hunger-crazed pregnant girl.

When she returned carrying another bowlful of stew, Sesshoumaru asked her, "Is there anything else you require, my dear?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Everything's perfect. Thanks anyway, though." She grinned at him.

He nodded his head, regally, and bowed slightly. "Then I bid you farewell. Oh, and Inuyasha." He stopped, and turned to his younger brother.

Inuyasha quit picking meat out of his teeth. "Yeah?"

"I picked up Kagura's scent when I landed near here. Keep a sharp eye out, hm?"

Inuyasha's ear twitched at the thinly veiled command. "Sure thing, Sesshoumaru."

Sesshoumaru nodded once, curtly; the brothers had seemed to reach a silent agreement since the beginning of Kagome's pregnancy, which required them to at least be civil in the other's presence, if not directly to the other individual. For now.

The demon Lord took his leave then, and when he was out of sight the pigeon messenger he'd sent her, Minoru, suddenly popped up on Kagome's shoulder.

"Wind witch."

Inuyasha frowned, and Kagome did the same, still chewing her food. Inuyasha strode over to them and asked the bird, "What?"

"Wind witch. Wind witch." Sometimes Kagome thought the pigeon thought he was a parrot. Unfortunately, he was quite an ugly pigeon. No way would he ever be mistaken for a parrot. Not even an ugly one.

Inuyasha growled. Miroku interjected, "What about her?"

The pigeon wobbled to Kagome's other shoulder, and turned around a few times, pointing its eyes everywhere and trilling softly. She was sure the damn thing was going to poop on her, and when it did...

"Shrine."

Inuyasha's ears flicked up, and everyone reached for their weapons, but before Kagome could protest, Inuyasha shoved her bodily into the hut and demanded, "Kaede! Keep her here!"

Minoru squawked and flew off.

The old woman nodded, curious, but he didn't stay to explain. Drawing Tetsusaiga, he dashed up the stairs, the others hot on his tail.

OOOOOOOhhhh, cliffy! Sorry to do that on an update that's sooooo overdue, but it's late and I hafta work tomorrow, sooo... oops! You know the drill... send me reviews, and maybe I won't wait another year to post chapter six! hehe, or, send me Jason Momoa in the mail... I'd climb that like a tree... :))))))))))))))))))))))