"Never before had any man mounted him, but I took him and I tamed him and
so speedily he bore me..." Sounds a little too easy, doesn't it? How did
Gandalf really tame Shadowfax? ^_^;
Disclaimer: None of Tolkien's characters are mine, neither is anything about Horse Whisperers, no money is being made on these fanfics, no animals were harmed in the making of this parody blah blah blah ad nauseum...
Author's Note: I know this doesn't follow the book's timeline. In the timeline it only took Gandalf a total of three days, and he is recorded as having chased and overtaken the Wonder Horse on foot in 24 hours. I wonder if even a wizard could really do such a thing, and if Gandalf wasn't changing the story just a bit. You know... "I was delayed for days and days by Saruman at Isengard," that sort of thing...?
P.S. Thanks, folks, for liking my earlier fics! ^_^
THE TAMING OF SHADOWFAX
Day 1: Gandalf walks into the field near Edoras. Shadowfax, grazing nearby, looks up, sees this tall bearded apparation with flapping robes, pointy hat and carrying a big stick. Shadowfax bolts and vanishes over the nearest hill going approximately 50 MPH.
Day 2: Gandalf gets rid of staff, hat, and flapping robes. Goes into field dressed as Robert Redford. Shadowfax bolts and vanishes over the nearest hill going approximately 50 MPH.
Day 3: Gandalf walks into field with a metal bucket of sweet feed. He holds bucket up and rattles it loudly. Gandalf is immediately trampled by a herd of 500 horses.
Day 4: Gandalf limps into field with bandages and a magic lariat. He approaches the now-wary Shadowfax using Stealth Elf techniques. He throws the magic lariat and it settles successfully over the horse's head. Shadowfax bolts in panic, dragging Gandalf over various rugged terrains at a speed of about 75 MPH. Gandalf hangs on until he abruptly encounters a large rock.
Day 5: Gandalf, with head bandaged, slowly staggers into the field, followed by an assistant carrying a lawn chair and a book. Shadowfax stands in the near distance, watching as Gandalf peruses "The Horse Whisperer" for the rest of the day.
Day 6: Gandalf, feeling a bit better, attempts the Horse Whispering Technique. Spends all day sitting in the field in his lawn chair attempting to draw Shadowfax to him by telepathic force of will. Gets a migraine. Returns to Edoras empty-handed.
Day 7: Gandalf attempts as-yet-undiscovered Native American Buffalo Hunting Technique. He creeps up to Shadowfax while covered by a horsehide. Shadowfax viciously attacks the upstart bachelor stallion who is encroaching on his territory. Edoras aid crew carries Gandalf from the field.
Day 8: Eorl Memorial Hospital. Gandalf, in traction, is visited by King Theoden, who looks grimly amused. Nurse Wormtongue ministrates.
......Some Time Later....
Day ? Gandalf released from Eorl Memorial Hospital on crutches. Upon leaving, he catches sight of a tapestry hanging in the hospital lobby. It depicts Eorl the Young's capture of Felarof, ancestor of Shadowfax. Gandalf curses, smacks self in forehead and immediately hobbles out to the field.
Placing two fingers in his mouth, Gandalf emits a loud piercing whistle. Shadowfax immediately comes running right to him. "Shadowfax," says Gandalf, "I need a ride."
Shadowfax kneels obediently. Gandalf throws away his crutches with dramatic flair, climbs on the horse, and they gallop off together into the sunset.
* * *
(NOTE: For those who haven't read the book, Shadowfax is a Meara and understands the speech of Man!)
Disclaimer: None of Tolkien's characters are mine, neither is anything about Horse Whisperers, no money is being made on these fanfics, no animals were harmed in the making of this parody blah blah blah ad nauseum...
Author's Note: I know this doesn't follow the book's timeline. In the timeline it only took Gandalf a total of three days, and he is recorded as having chased and overtaken the Wonder Horse on foot in 24 hours. I wonder if even a wizard could really do such a thing, and if Gandalf wasn't changing the story just a bit. You know... "I was delayed for days and days by Saruman at Isengard," that sort of thing...?
P.S. Thanks, folks, for liking my earlier fics! ^_^
THE TAMING OF SHADOWFAX
Day 1: Gandalf walks into the field near Edoras. Shadowfax, grazing nearby, looks up, sees this tall bearded apparation with flapping robes, pointy hat and carrying a big stick. Shadowfax bolts and vanishes over the nearest hill going approximately 50 MPH.
Day 2: Gandalf gets rid of staff, hat, and flapping robes. Goes into field dressed as Robert Redford. Shadowfax bolts and vanishes over the nearest hill going approximately 50 MPH.
Day 3: Gandalf walks into field with a metal bucket of sweet feed. He holds bucket up and rattles it loudly. Gandalf is immediately trampled by a herd of 500 horses.
Day 4: Gandalf limps into field with bandages and a magic lariat. He approaches the now-wary Shadowfax using Stealth Elf techniques. He throws the magic lariat and it settles successfully over the horse's head. Shadowfax bolts in panic, dragging Gandalf over various rugged terrains at a speed of about 75 MPH. Gandalf hangs on until he abruptly encounters a large rock.
Day 5: Gandalf, with head bandaged, slowly staggers into the field, followed by an assistant carrying a lawn chair and a book. Shadowfax stands in the near distance, watching as Gandalf peruses "The Horse Whisperer" for the rest of the day.
Day 6: Gandalf, feeling a bit better, attempts the Horse Whispering Technique. Spends all day sitting in the field in his lawn chair attempting to draw Shadowfax to him by telepathic force of will. Gets a migraine. Returns to Edoras empty-handed.
Day 7: Gandalf attempts as-yet-undiscovered Native American Buffalo Hunting Technique. He creeps up to Shadowfax while covered by a horsehide. Shadowfax viciously attacks the upstart bachelor stallion who is encroaching on his territory. Edoras aid crew carries Gandalf from the field.
Day 8: Eorl Memorial Hospital. Gandalf, in traction, is visited by King Theoden, who looks grimly amused. Nurse Wormtongue ministrates.
......Some Time Later....
Day ? Gandalf released from Eorl Memorial Hospital on crutches. Upon leaving, he catches sight of a tapestry hanging in the hospital lobby. It depicts Eorl the Young's capture of Felarof, ancestor of Shadowfax. Gandalf curses, smacks self in forehead and immediately hobbles out to the field.
Placing two fingers in his mouth, Gandalf emits a loud piercing whistle. Shadowfax immediately comes running right to him. "Shadowfax," says Gandalf, "I need a ride."
Shadowfax kneels obediently. Gandalf throws away his crutches with dramatic flair, climbs on the horse, and they gallop off together into the sunset.
* * *
(NOTE: For those who haven't read the book, Shadowfax is a Meara and understands the speech of Man!)