Out strode Kahlua. She was dressed in a red and white striped gown that made her look like a giant candy cane. In her hands was an aluminum pole. She drove it into the floor with all her vampire strength.

"Happy Festivus everybody!" Kahlua sang out. "Let's celebrate this most joyous of holidays the traditional way! Let's get drunk on rum and then dance naked 'round the old aluminum pole as we sing Whitney Houston songs!"

A very confused looking Kouta and Lucy came out.

"What are you doing?" Lucy asked.

"Oh goodie! I'm so glad you two are here! Now we can have the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! Well, not you Kouta-kun, just with the mean girl."

"Ah, Kahlua?" Kouta rubbed he back of his head. "What is this?"

"Oh, I decided to go ahead and celebrate the holidays like they do in the human world! We never had any festivals in Castle Shuzen that didn't involve bloodshed. So, I thought I'd try it one time like the humans do."

"And the holiday you decided to celebrate was Festivus?" Lucy asked rubbing her temples.

"Uh huh."

"Why am I not surprised? Don't you know anything? Festivus isn't a real holiday! It's just something they made up on some old TV show. Nothing on that show was actually real."

"What?!" There were sudden tears in Kahlua's eyes. "You mean Jerry Seinfeld's not real? What about Frasier? The Simpsons? Married With Children? Are all the happiest moments of my childhood a lie?"

Kouta took a quick step forward. He knew Kahlua crying was a VERY bad thing. "I think what Lucy means is that it's great that you want to celebrate the holidays with us. It's the thought that counts, not the specifics in how you want to celebrate. Lucy and I would both be happy to share this holiday with you however you want."

"Really?" Kahlua wiped her tears away. "Do you feel that way too, mean girl?"

Kouta sent Lucy a pleading look and clasped his hands together.

Lucy rolled her eyes, but then nodded. "Yeah, I do. You may be annoying and dumber than most rocks, but we are friends and we should absolutely celebrate together." She glanced at the aluminum pole sticking out of the floor boards. "No matter how bizarre and weird that may be."

Kahlua was suddenly beaming, a joyous smile stretching from ear to ear. "I'm so happy to hear that! Yay! Now, as is traditional we will have the feats of strength." Kahlua stretched her arms and moved in on Lucy. "Festivus isn't over until you pin me to the ground."

"Huh?"

As Kahlua slammed Lucy to the floor and Kouta yelled at her to stop Sun, Juiichi, Nekonome, the Headmaster and all the other minor characters came out with the traditional Festivus cans of Spam.

"It's a Festivus miracle!" Sun wrote.

After Lucy stopped choking Kahlua with her vectors everyone celebrated with rum and spam all night. Everyone agreed it was the best Festivus ever!

Except for Yuka, who was eaten by the goblins.

XXX

Author's Note: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone.