T

Don't ask how I came up with this, my mind is a very strange place.

A Really Stupid Gift

Kitty's eyes had puffy bags under them; Kurt had dark circles under his. Logan was grouchier than 'grouchier than normal'. Every X-Man, woman and new recruit was suffering from a severe lack of sleep. Everyone looked up at the ceiling, then at Bobby 'Iceman' Drake in annoyance as the noise responsible for their insomnia started up again.

"Tabby helped!" he said by way of a defence from the glares, pointing at the vivacious blonde codenamed Boom-Boom.

"Ray thought it was funny!" she added; and so the odd procession of naming the names of the New Mutants continued around the room Jubilation Lee said it was thirteen year old Jamie 'Multiple' Maddrox and Rahne 'Wolfsbane' Sinclair, who was fifteen.

Everyone stared incredulously at the youngest students in the room.

"We heard Mr Warren talking about it to Miss Betsy and we asked Jubilee what it was."

Logan looked at Warren, who looked sheepishly at the floor. Betsy blushed. "Next time, don't buy that."

The noise stopped for a second and everyone sighed in relief - then it started again. They all groaned in annoyance, regretting that joke gift for what must be the millionth time in that never-ending day.

Around about midday, they were greeted by the sight of Rogue and her 'reformed bad-boy' boyfriend, Remy 'Gambit' LeBeau, both of whom looking oddly refreshed, coming down for breakfast. Both were barely dressed: she in a pair of panties and one of his dress shirts, he in a pair of boxers, his reaction to Rogue's current state of undress not very well concealed at all. Logan growled.

-

It was 6 o'clock in the evening when the noise finally stopped for the last time. Everyone went to bed extremely early. Remy and Rogue lay facing each other, exhausted from what they deemed their "sexcapades".

"Bes' birt'day presen' de Icecube ev'r gave m'."

Rogue grinned. "Naht lahke yah needed it anehway, but, yeah," she said in response as she dropped the two finally empty boxes in the trash: a jumbo box of condoms and the gag gift of Viagra.

I don't actually believe that Remy would need Viagra (seriously, people, he's REMY LeBEAU!) but I figured it would make for a funny oneshot.