Disclaimer: I do not own the song, "When you're gone" by Avril Lavigne
Here I was again, or well, I did not move, so that would not be again, but still… anyway, I was lying here in my bed, like I had done the past week. The tears were long gone, or at least for now. I had been here in my room, in my bed for a week. I did not move. I did not pick up my phone. I did not answer any messages. I did not talk to anyone. Not even my parents, nor did I talk to my best friends, Sharpay Evans and Chad Danforth. Both of them had stop by every day after school, just to see if I was still alive, and well, I was, but inside I really wished I was dead. Gone… forever.
"Troy, please, talk to me," Sharpay sighed as she sat down in the chair across my room.
I just looked at her, why would I talk to her? The love of my life was gone. Gone to England, and probably she would not be coming back here. I hurt me inside to think of her, and yet that was all I could. The love of my life, Gabriella Montez, was gone. And I missed her like crazy, it hurt me. My heart was aching, screaming for her to come back and just look at me the way she would do, when I was sad. But she did not come.
I heard Shar sigh, "Troy, please." I could hear the desperate tune in her voice. "We all miss her," now I could hear that she was sad too. Everyone was sad.
I did not look at Shar, it would be too hard for me, I knew it had hurt her too that Gabby were gone, but no one seemed to understand how heartbroken I was.
I heard Shar sigh once again, and then she rose from the chair and left the room saying, "Troy, please, get up and take something to eat, it is killing all of us to see you like this!" and with that she was gone. I turned over so that I was lying at my back looking up at the ceiling.
"Gabriella, come back," I cried, and once again the tears ran down my face.
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
Sure I had always need time on my own, and so had Gabriella. And we had been good to give each other time and space to just be alone. Before her, I had never thought I would need someone beside me, when I was crying or just sad, but after just a few days with her, it had become clear that I needed her by my side.
*Flashback*
We were playing a game, a friendly game against West High, but even though it was a friendly game, we just had to win! They were our rivals – we just had to win this game!
There were only a few seconds left of the game, the score were 73-72 to West High. I got the ball, and send it towards the basket. But one of West High's players jumped and made a block, and right as his hand got in front of the ball the buzzer sounded, telling us that we had lost the game to West High.
I looked up at the time board and sighed deeply. Then I looked around at my teammates, everyone looked like we had just lost the championship. No one said anything. We got into the locker room, and my dad, our coach came in.
"Well, guys, you did a great job," he tried to smile. I could tell that he was sort of disappointed that we lost. He continued, "Just remember, this was just a friendly match. It does not count anywhere – only in their book. Because this was their first winning game here at East High in more than four years! Guys, you are the Wildcats; you are going to win the next time! You will show them who is making the rules the next time! Come on, up again, smile and show me some team spirit!"
I looked around, everyone was nodding.
"So what team?" Chad yelled.
"Wildcats!" Everyone except me cheered.
"What team?" Chad yelled even louder.
"Wildcats!" everyone cheered once again.
"What team?" Chad yelled again even louder, almost getting himself a blue face.
"Wildcats!" they cheered once again, while I was putting my clothes into my bag.
"Wildcats!" Chad yelled.
"Getcha' head in the game!" the others yelled laughing.
I sighed as they cheered. How could they just have fun? We had just lost a game, a friendly game, but anyway, we lost! I was the one, who could have made us win, but I did not. I was angry with myself. I stuffed my things into my bag and went out of the locker room and to my truck, slamming the door in anger.
I headed home, knowing that I could be alone there. I was not really in the mood for anything right now. I just wanted to be alone with my anger. Or so I thought.
When I got home, I ran into my room slamming the door and lay down on my bed. God I was angry!
I heard the door open and a person came in. It was probably my mother, wanting to know how the game ended. I sighed and turned around, surprised to see my girlfriend of two days standing beside my bed.
"Hey," she smiled and sat down beside me.
"Hey," I sighed, but smiled for the first time after the game. I sat up and kissed her softly.
"You okay?" she asked caressing my cheek.
"Yeah, now I am," I smiled and kissed her forehead.
*End of flashback*
I missed her so badly. Days felt for sure like years, when she was not around. I had never felt like this. I looked at the side of the bed where she used to lie. It was made up just for her, but she was not there. The tears continued to fall down my face. I did not care, I just let them fall.
When she had been here, telling me that she was going to England, we had both cried our eyes out. When she had to go home, I had counted the steps she took, from when she left me there in the door and down the road until she was out of sight. 124 steps, exactly, and then she was out of sight. I remembered the tears falling down her cheeks. I remembered how I had held her, telling her it would be okay. But secretly I knew that it would kill us both inside. This was going to be a slow suicide for us both.
I really needed her right now.
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
My heart was broken into a million of small pieces. I could not do anything. She had been my strength to get through the days. She always knew just what to say to make me get through the days. She always knew what to say and do to make everything okay. I missed her so badly. I missed seeing her face, so beautiful, so flawless. The face I knew. The face that could light up my world, no matter what. I needed to hear her telling me it would be okay – that I would make it through this.
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
I had never felt this way before. Never in my life had I been this heartbroken. I had never been crying this much. Never!
I slowly got out of my bed, feeling my legs shiver under me. I went to the bathroom looked into the mirror, and then again the tears ran down my face. Here, in my bathroom, Gabriella and I had been taking picture in the mirror, fooling around while taking pictures. I had held Gabriella here, while she was throwing up. I had been sitting right there at the floor talking to my love while she was taking a shower. I went into my room, and looked around. Everywhere, everything reminded me of her!
I slowly went out from my room and out in the kitchen, where my mom was sitting.
"Sweetie?" she asked looking up at me.
I looked at her, and now I cried even harder. My mom came rushing to me, and wrapped her arms around me.
"Shh, sweetie," she said.
"Mom," I cried, "I need her so much!"
"I know, sweetheart, I know," she sighed and stroked my back, holding me tight.
I got something to eat, not much, but just a little. Then my mother told me to go back to my bed and try to get some sleep. I went into my room and looked at the floor. In the corner of my room there was some clothes, I went over and picked it up. It was Gabriella's sweatshirt, I smelled it. It smelled just like her. And once again the tears streamed down my face. I went over to my bed and lay down again, holding her sweatshirt close to, smelling her, while I cried myself to sleep.
I dreamed of the day where she left, the day we said our goodbye, the last time I held the love of my life in my arms, the last time I told her that I loved her!
*Flashback*
I looked down at Gabriella; we were standing in the airport.
"Troy," Gabriella cried, "I do not want to go!"
"I know baby, I know," I cried too. We had broken up, knowing it would not last having a relationship, when we were going to this far apart, but we still loved each other, we still called each other our nicknames. I kissed her forehead as my tears fell on her face.
"I love you, Troy Alexander Bolton," Gabriella whispered into my chest as I held her tight.
"I love you too, Gabriella Anne Montez," I whispered caressing her back, inhaling her scent, trying to make the moment last forever.
I cried, she cried, my parents cried, her mother cried. Sharpay was there crying too. Chad cried, Taylor cried, Kelsi cried. Ryan, Zeke, Martha, Jason… the whole decathlon team was there, crying. The whole basketball team was there, crying. And there in the middle of the airport, in the middle of a whole bunch of people, Gabriella and I were standing, holding on to each other.
"Go say goodbye to the others, baby girl," I whispered closing my eyes, hurting myself with the word goodbye.
Gabriella went round to everyone, crying while saying goodbye to each of them. Telling everyone that she cared about them, a few of them that she loved them, and that she would miss all of them. Then she went to my parents.
"Jack," she looked up at my father with tears streaming down her face.
"Gabriella," he said with tears running down his face and hugged her.
"Thanks for everything," Gabriella tried to smile through her tears as she pulled back from the hug.
My father nodded, "Remember you can always come to us, sweetie," he said and kissed her cheek, "take care of yourself."
Then she turned to my mother, who had tears streaming down her face too. Both of them not knowing what to say hugged each other, crying their eyes out.
"Sweetheart, promise me to take good care of yourself, right?" my mother said.
"I will," Gabriella promised, "take care of my Troy," she cried looking up at my mother.
"I will do, honey," my mother smiled at her forever daughter-in-law trough her tears.
Gabriella nodded, "thanks for everything, Lucille," she cried and hugged my mother once again.
Then she came over to me again and looked up at me and then I broke down again, crying my heart out, wrapping my arms tightly around her not wanting to let go of her.
"Bella?" I asked crying.
"Yes, Troy?" she asked crying slowly pulling back looking up at me.
"If you get back here, then…" I closed my eyes and swallowed the lump in my throat.
"Then what babe?" she asked trying to smile through her tears.
I took something out of my pocket, a ring, engraved with our names and the date of our anniversary 1st of September 2005 – two years ago. I looked at her.
"If you get back here, and things have not changed between us; then please marry me," I said and kissed her forehead and slipped the ring onto her finger.
She nodded, "I will marry you, Troy," she cried and kissed me softly and looked down at the ring.
"I love you, my princess," I whispered.
"And I love you, my prince," she whispered back.
And with that their flight was called, and we said goodbye.
I stood there holding her for the last time, crying, not wanting to let go, but I had to.
I counted the steps that she took until I could not see her anymore. Exactly 123 steps were what she took until she was gone out of sight in the airport.
But right before she was gone out of my sight, I screamed, "Gabriella Anne Montez, I love you!" and there I was at the floor in the airport, crying my heart out.
I heard her scram back that she loved me too.
*End of flashback*
I sat up in my bed; the tears ran down my face again.
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah
We were made for each other, everyone said that. We were the golden couple, we were meant to last forever! I sat on my bed looking at the picture of her, when Chad came in.
"Hey," he said softly.
"Hey," I sighed.
"How are you?" my best friend asked me and sat down beside me.
"Broken," I said as the tears once again found their way to my eyes.
Chad nodded and placed his hand on my back, "I know, man."
"I can hardly breathe without her," I said as the tears streamed down my face.
Chad looked at me, "it is okay, Troy, it is okay." He hugged me, not a man-hug, but a real hug. A hug, which told me to cry out my eyes; a hug that told me, Chad would be there all the way no matter what. He knew it hurt me, he knew how broken I was. He knew everything I did, I had put my heart and my soul into, especially the things I had done with and for Gabriella. He knew that I could not do much without her, at least not right now.
The days past, and went into months. I finally went back to school again. The first day of school, I had walked through the halls, and then I suddenly broke down crying. Chad had been there helping me up, taking me to the locker room, where I could cry without anyone except for him to be there looking at me. I never got to smile my famous Troy Alexander Bolton smile again. The cheerleaders tried to get me, but I refused to look at them.
A year after Gabriella had gone to England. I was lying in my bed, while listening to "When you're gone" by Avril Lavigne, singing along. I had turned 20 a few weeks ago. Everyone had been at my birthday party, celebrating me, but yet I had missed one person, Gabriella! I felt the tears run down my face. I had never stopped crying.
I heard the doorbell, but I did not care much about it, my mother could get it. I just lied there singing, not hearing someone enter my room. But suddenly I heard someone singing along with me. I opened my eyes looking at the door, there she stood, the love of my life singing along with me.
"When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you"
"Bella?!" I almost yelled and stood up and ran to her and hugged her tight.
"Troy!" she smiled, while tears streamed down her face.
"You are back!" I smiled as happy tears ran down my face.
"Yeah, I am back," she smiled through her tears, "I missed you too much."
"I have missed you so much!" I said hugging her tight.
"I will never leave you again," she said, "Never!"
"Thanks," I said and kissed her softly, but full of passion.
"I love you," she smiled up at me.
"I love you too," I smiled, a real smile for the first time in over a year.
We went out that night, only the two of us. And there at our favorite spot in town, I got down on one knee, pulling out a ring.
"Gabriella Anne Montez, will you marry me?" I asked her.
"Yes!" Gabriella smiled, with tears running down her face.
"Thank God!" I smiled and slipped the ring onto her finger and stood up and kissed her. "Hey, do not cry," I whispered and kissed her forehead.
"It is tears of joy," she smiled.
I nodded, and then we shared a passionately kiss sealing our relationship, this time it was forever. Never would we have to be apart again! Never!