A / N ;; Just for you guys who are wondering, "Why do you have to make fun of Inuyasha?", I'm not. Personally, Inuyasha is easy to do cliches with. I'm okay with Inuyasha. Also, this is just a SATIRE making fun of Mary-Sues, and any other cliches of anime I could remember. Either this is something you find humor-ress, or you don't.
"Damn it all to Hades!"
It wasn't unusual to hear those words escaping from the young delinquent. Sometimes, it just wasn't fair when the game you were trying to play just suddenly froze, especially when it was brand new. Freshly opened from the pack. It couldn't have been the game though, Jenny knew that, it had to be her PS2. The piece of crap was horrible. She should just go by a new one. Her parents had the money.
If only they hadn't changed the lock on their bedroom door. She'd find a way to pick it eventually.
"Piece of shit…" she murmured to herself as she pushed the button to restart it. Nothing happened. Her blue eyes stared at it. Jenny pushed it again, and this time the logo for the PS2 came on reluctantly to her television screen. "That's what I'm talkin' 'bout," Jenny purred, sitting down at the edge of her bed. "Much better!"
It was Jenny's birthday. How old had she turned? Fourteen. She was officially fourteen years old, and here she was trapped in her own home while her parents were out in a restaurant probably enjoying lobster. She was at home because it was her punishment. Her punishment for what? For beating the shit out of this one prissy bitch at school and getting kicked out of Julliard. How could she not expect a punishment?
Jenny snorted. "At least I kicked her ass," she murmured, smirking as the game started to form on the screen. The game was one of those Inuyasha games one of her anime obsessed friends had been drooling over. It was an okay anime, she liked it, but she didn't care for it too much. After getting kicked out of school, her friend come over and given her the game to play in Jenny's spare time. Jenny didn't complain. It was something to do.
"Create your character and start the fairy tale!" spoke Kagome Higurashi's voice. Being displayed on the screen was a model of a human figure, with details next to it that allowed for the gender to be chosen, hair, hair color, and any other features of the human body. However, this game let the choice of choosing a demon character or a half-blood be optional. Jenny rolled her eyes, snorted again, and choose half-blood.
"Hmm, what about a name?" she whispered herself, temporarily leaning back on her bed. What was a good name to give to a game character? She certainly wasn't using her own name. She was not going to honor any of her loser friends and use their names… What was that name her friend had been complaining about? It was some name used when perfect characters were created and no one liked them. "Mary…?" Jenny murmured, searching her brain hard. "Mary-Lyn? Mary-An? Mary-Lee?" She was close, she could feel it. "oh! Sue! Mary-Sue!" Jenny shot back up, and typed the name into the name box with her remote control. "Well, seeing as this is probably going to end up being a character that saves the Inuyasha world at the end of the game, why the hell not name her Mary-Sue?" Jenny grinned. "And let's Sue her up. Long, flowing, perfectly silver hair completed with rainbow highlights.. Porcelain skin. Hmm… eyes that are two different colors? Sad blue, and merciless red! Cat ears and a dog tail… Hmm, I think I've created a masterpiece." Gag me.
The outfit for the character was a kimono. A black kimono with blood red flowers on it. Jenny stared at her work with a look of satisfaction. She couldn't wait to show it to her anime obsessed friend. "She's gonna flip," Jenny spoke to herself. She moved the cursor to start game, and the adventured opened up with a dramatic summary of how little Mary-Sue was suppose to help Inuyasha and crew to prevent Naraku from practically taking over Japan.
"First Japan, then the world!" Jenny spoke humorlessly. She laid down on her side, and watched the screen.
Inuyasha appeared on one side of the screen, Kagome right behind him. A speech box appeared below the two characters. They were both in a forest.
"You sure?" Kagome spoke first.
"Yea," Inuyasha murmured. "The priest said something about her being sealed here. And supposedly if this works, then we can defeat Naraku."
"What if it doesn't work?" Kagome asked.
"We still defeat Naraku," Inuyasha replied sarcastically.
Jenny snorted a half laugh.
The scene focused in on a tree, a tree that on it was a girl who was trapped. Or, at least it appeared to be a girl. If it was, she was part of the tree, covered by its bark. Freaky was the only word that passed through Jenny's head. She frowned.
"Go put this necklace on her, Kagome. It won't work if another demon does it," Inuyasha said, referring to himself. In a mere second Kagome had the necklace, and appeared next to the girl. She put it around the neck of the tree-girl somehow, then appeared back next to Inuyasha. The both of them waited, so did Jenny.
"……………"
"Come on…" Jenny murmured. "Where's the bright shinning light?"
Like she hadn't been expecting for it not to appear. She knew this anime from start to finish. A light appeared around the tree-girl, and just as she was about to awake, the game froze. An annoying high-pitched ring started to buzz from Jenny's t.v.
"I'm throwing this piece of trash out into the streets!" Jenny yelled, getting up and clicking the restart button. She held it long enough to turn off the PS-crap and then did the same to her television. If it wouldn't work for her, she didn't need it.
"Screw this place," she muttered to herself, walking over to her window and glancing down at the concrete. She opened her window, and place one foot through.
Jenny's t.v. turned back on.
"Huh?" she uttered, glancing over her shoulder to find that the image from her frozen game was still on her screen. "That's… weird." Jenny placed her leg back in her room, and walked over to her t.v. She pressed the power button, but the t.v. didn't turn off. "Alright then, have it your way!" she huffed, reaching behind the t.v. for the plug. Her rough hands pulled the black cord from the wall, and with a smile of victory she glanced at the screen. The image still remained. Jenny wiped her grin from her face, and stared fiercely at the t.v. Another object for her to toss out of the window and into the streets. Some hobo would have been happy to have it.
Cautiously, Jenny placed one hand on the screen and around the bright light of the half-demon on the tree. Her Mary-Sue. "Too bad," Jenny murmured. "You won't get to do your Mary-Sue thing." She shrugged her shoulders, and turned from the t.v. The moment her back was turned was the moment she'd swear she had never tried drugs in her life.
Her room had become brighter all of a sudden. Like the light on the t.v. had suddenly washed over everything. And she felt really light, light like a feather, as if she could float for forever. And she felt warm, really warm. A small gasped escaped from Jenny, and she closed her eyes only for a moment. When she reopened them, she was in an unfamiliar surrounding.
"I feel stiff," she murmured to herself, blinking her eyes a couple of times. She placed her hands on her head, and shut her eyes tightly.
"It worked!" spoke a high voice, full of surprise and joy.
"Yup," spoke another, this one unenthused like the first.
Both were much too familiar.
"Are you Mary-Sue?" the unenthused voice asked, causing Jenny to glance up in confusion. "Well?" it repeated.
Jenny remained silent, and stared into a pair of golden eyes she was never suppose to be seeing in real life. The face those pair of eyes belong to continued to stare at her with a frown. Arms crossed over the chest of the person the face belong to, and overall Jenny got the feeling that something had gone horribly wrong.
"N-n-n-n-n--" Jenny found herself repeating the 'n' in 'no'. She couldn't force the word out of her mouth. She was staring at the face of the half-demon Inuyasha.
"Give her a moment, Inuyasha," spoke the voice of Inuyasha's female companion. Kagome. Jenny watched Kagome approach Inuyasha carefully, standing behind him as if to avoid Jenny. "She's probably experiencing a bit of shock."
Hell yes, she was experiencing shock! Why were these two characters standing right in front of her?! And why did Inuyasha call her Mary-Sue? Jenny slowly moved her hands away from her head, and noticed that something about her skin color was off. She was more tan than this… And she was not wearing a long sleeved shirt. Jenny's eyes trailed up to her hands and were met by the sight of long and sharp fingernails, likes claws.
"No…" she murmured to herself, turning her hands and wiggling her fingers. "It can't be…" she whispered, grabbing a strand of her hair and glancing at its color. Silver… It was silver. With fucking rainbow highlights!
"What?!" she shouted to herself, groping her head for the cat ears. They were there, meaning that somewhere underneath her was a tail. She didn't need to grope there. "Where is my sandy blonde hair?! My human ears?! Why the hell do I have cat ears?! And what the hell am I doing here?!"
She trapped inside of a video game… Jenny glanced off to the side, struggling to catch her breathe. Any moment she was going to start hyperventilating. This whole scene was just wrong! And what was with Inuyasha's sudden 'I've just found the girl of my dreams' look? She did not date demons of any blood!
"Mary-Sue," Kagome whispered calmingly to her, completely looking past Inuyasha's brainwashed expression. Kagome, and mighty damn too bravely for her own good, took a hand of Jenny's and pulled her up. Jenny's eyes narrowed in a sharp glare that Kagome also overlooked. "You've been sealed away for a lot of years inside that tree. Maybe you've been dreaming?" Kagome suggested.
"Oh yeah?" Jenny growled out. "Maybe I've been waiting to shove my demon foot up your--"
"We have to get back to village," Inuyasha interrupted, pulling Kagome's hand away from Jenny. He looked at Kagome warningly, and Kagome glanced back at Jenny with a tinkle of deep apology.
"You know, this is very similar to the time--" Kagome started.
"I don't give a high-five about your flashbacks!" Jenny hissed, "I want to know how I ended up from my bedroom, to this girl's body you call Mary-Sue!"
Inuyasha and Kagome glanced at each other, both with quizzical looks. Inuyasha shrugged, then grabbed Jenny's hand that Kagome had formerly been holding and started to drag her away from the tree.
"We'll figure out what you're talkin' about. Right now, we have to head back to the village."
"No!" Jenny hissed, hearing the sound of a feline inside her own voice. "We're gonna figure this out right now or else I'll take Tetsusaiga and shove it through the hole of where you pee!"
Inuyasha gave no comment, which Jenny would have considered to be surprising since she knew he wasn't one for back talkers. Kagome followed silently behind the two, as silent as Inuyasha. Jenny had to question if this was what happened when game characters ran out of lines for a scene.
(Village)
"We got her!" Inuyasha spoke into the room everyone was crowded into. Jenny was met by other familiar faces who'd know her as 'Mary-Sue', the lame name of a game character she had created. However, that last bit was what they probably wouldn't understand. To think at least Kagome, video game character or not, would understand.
"Fuckin' nit-wit," Jenny murmured, side glancing at a suddenly sullen Kagome.
"She's pretty!" Shippou said, ignoring the glare that Jenny sent over in the little fox's direction. "Could you really help us defeat Naraku?" he asked her.
"No," Jenny growled out. "I'm going to find a way to get home," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Ah," spoke the black haired monk. "She's a girl with humor. Of course she could help us," he said, attempting an ever so charming smile.
"Bite me," Jenny told him.
"Where?" Miroku asked. He was promptly hit by Sango's boomerang while Inuyasha placed a protective hand on her shoulder.
"We have to explain to you who Naraku is," Sango said, placing her boomerang back behind her. Jenny stared at the brown haired woman. She could sense a flashback…
"It all started when--"
"DEAR GOD, TIME SKIP!" Jenny shouted, closing her eyes and wishing to skip this part of the game. She did not want to tolerate listening to Naraku's story for the fifth time. When she opened her eyes, she was, somehow, in the arms of the sexy bishie of Inuyasha.
Sesshomaru was glaring across a red stream at a furious Inuyasha. However, when she turned her head, the only thing Jenny could really notice was the fact that there was a large demonic blood with a sword in its heart laying in the river. She made a note to herself not to drink water any time soon.
"This Sesshomaru will not continue to let you place Mary-Sue in danger," Sesshomaru spoke coldly. Jenny froze. "This Sesshomaru is taking Mary-Sue with him, where she will be safe."
"You're asking for it Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha said, hopping on the dead demon and pulling his sword out from the heart. "Mary-Sue is capable of protecting herself! She doesn't need you! She just took out this demon!"
Jenny continued to stare at the body. "I… did that?" she asked, glancing up at Inuyasha who gave a proud nod of his head in her direction.
"You are a wonderful fighter," he told her, his voice sincere.
"And you think that she could safely fight Naraku without getting harm?" Sesshomaru questioned.
"She got no scratch on her in this fight! She was holding the Tetsusaiga at that! She could easily handle Naraku!" Inuyasha replied heatedly.
Jenny glanced around at each face; the arguing brothers; a calm demon slayer; a scarred fox demon; a red-eyed Kagome; and a hard to determine cat demon. She didn't plan on staying with any of them. She just wanted to go home!
"This Sesshomaru will not--"
"Could you stop referring to yourself in third person?" Jenny growled, pushing away from Sesshomaru's hold. "I like it better when you talk with 'I' and 'me', and all that first person crap."
Sesshomaru stared at her lovingly. "This Sesshomaru… I will," he said obediently.
"This Sesshomaru has probably just claimed his mate," a voice whispered. Jenny didn't bother identifying who it was. The simple thought of being Sesshomaru's mate was enough for her to want to take Inuyasha's sword and make the 'Game Over' sign appear.
…
What if she could really get home that way? Jenny reached for Sesshomaru's sword, but he quickly moved her hand away.
"I shall be leaving with Mary-Sue now," Sesshomaru spoke to Inuyasha, placing a hand around Jenny's waist. She was going to om-nom it off. Sesshomaru glanced down at her, and she forced herself to bring her gaze up to him with an expression she could only hope was terrifying like she could make her real life face. Instead, she was able to see her reflection deep within the uncharacteristic loving eyes of Sesshomaru. The sad blue that reflected her long, hard years of neglect and rough training to become a strong hanyou, while the merciless red of hers was the blood of others she had spread throughout of life time.
"When I get home…" she muttered, not caring if Sesshomaru was actually listening to her or not. "I'm drowning myself."
"Don't worry, Mary-Sue of the Hanyous…" Sesshomaru spoke. When the hell did she get a title? Was she any closer to the end of this game? "You won't have to suffer in the hands of this filthy half-breed anymore."
IRONY.
"Please," Jenny begged to the King of Games (Somewhere out there, a young boy named Yugi Muto sneezed), "please let another time skip occur. I wanna go home!" Jenny wailed.
Certainly enough, there was a time skip into the forest of Naraku. All it took was for the Mary-Sue in denial to close her eyes and open them again. This time, she found herself standing with a sword way too bright for human eyes. It's hilt had angel wings coming from it, and surely enough from her own back was a matching pair of large wings with multicolored tips. Besides the glow of her sword, she found that she, herself, was glowing also.
"Mary-Sue!" Shippou called out to her. "Why didn't you tell us that you were the reincarnation of an angel?" he gasped.
Jenny nearly dropped the sword. "So…," she said slowly. "Not only am I suppose to be a half-cat, half-dog, half-human, but a half-angel too?" If she ever got home, she was arranging a drive-by to shoot down this game creator. They did not deserve to live for creating this plot twist. Jenny glanced down at her closed, threw her arms up in the air. "Oh, look at that, I'm a fucking magical girl!" she grumbled out.
"Maybe she's really a goddess?" Miroku marveled, staring at her in awe just like every other pair of eyes in this forest. She really wanted to take this sword and kill all of them. Would that cause a 'Game Over' to occur?
"Either way," Sango spoke, shaking her head as if she was the only one coming to sense. "We have to place our trust into Mary-Sue, because we all know she can be the one that defeats Naraku."
"I'm gonna find the first person to ever create a Mary-Sue, and slit their throat. Make a reminder of that, Jenny. You're going to jail at fourteen. " Jenny cracked her fingers.
"Heh, she could do it with just one swing," Inuyasha spoke up, a fierce recognition of power burning fatefully within his eyes.
Kagome could be heard sobbing somewhere. Everyone ignored her. Even Jenny.
"Just one swing and the Might Mary-Sue could defeat Naraku by a punch in the face!" Shippou cheered.
That was just about what happened to that pansy back at Julliard. Just one punch and her lights were out. Jenny smirked to herself, having miniature flashbacks of her own. Just because one punch had defeated the enemy didn't mean she hadn't stopped herself from hitting the girl. Oh no… She kept on going.
"Mary-Sue…" Miroku whispered, walking up to her. Jenny glanced at him with her two-toned eyes. "Are you sure you want to go this alone?" he asked.
"Yeah," Sango said. "I mean, you have friends that you automatically made from the first day we ever met you."
"If anything goes wrong, just know we're out here and ready fight by your side!" Shippo added.
Inuyasha nodded. "And I wanted you to know… that for a long time now… I think I… I…
"I don't give a crap about your puppy love for me. I'm going the hell in," Jenny murmured, starting into Naraku's poison filled castle that she guessed she was automatically immune to. And probably because this was a video game, she was able to run across Naraku in a matter of seconds, being immediately grabbed a hold of by one of his tentacles. And won't you guess, he was already weakened by something!
"Mary-Sue…" he whispered ever so calmly. "I've been waiting for you…"
"What a lame attempt to rhyme. I hope that wasn't done on purpose." Jenny rolled her eyes, forgetting for a moment that she was in a video game. That Naraku had one of those nasty tentacles wrapped around her. She hoped that this didn't turn into any of that disgusting rape stuff her friend occasionally mentioned. If a Mary-Sue was capable of hurling, she'd hurl.
"You'd be perfect for me to absorb into my body. With such power--"
"I really hate it when bad guys talk and give the hero a chance to kill them, but they never kill the bad guy. They feel the need to talk back… OH FUCK, CLICHÉ!" Mary--I mean Jenny shouted, feeling herself being pulled by the tentacle Naraku had wrapped around her. Shutting her eyes because she really had no idea what she was doing, Jenny placed the sword in front of her, and through Naraku's heart it went, automatically forever killing him because the sword was coated with a poison created from sweat, blood, tears, and the love of everyone who loved. He crawled into himself like an actual dying spider, then withered away. Jenny opened her eyes, then blinked.
"You're fuckin' me," she murmured.
And then in came running everyone with voices of cheering.
"You did it!"
"You did it!"
"This better not turn into Dora the Explorer," Jenny muttered as she was immediately hugged by everyone but the crying Kagome that everyone forgot about.
"We knew you could do it!"
"Just the power of your love itself--what are you doing?"
Jenny had backed away from everyone, and eyed the sword in her hands that she killed Naraku with. She placed the blade on her wrist and pressed it down to test the sharpness. She winced, and looked satisfied at the fact that her own blood was spilling through.
"Making a sacrifice," Jenny answered.
"Oh no!" Shippou cried.
"Mary-Sue!" Inuyasha called out, reaching out a hand for her. "Could it be that you were actually full of sadness this whole time but pretended to be happy for us, and that really killing another being, good or evil, hurts you?" he asked.
Jenny glanced up at him. "Would you please shut the hell up?" Jenny asked him. "And my name isn't Mary-Sue! It's Jenny--"
"No! Mary-Sue! Naraku has come back to life and stabbed you with a tentacle!" Miroku cried out.
"Oh… thank God," Jenny smiled, feeling a sharp pain through her heart. Blood started to spill from her mouth. Jenny gasped, wanting the darkness swallow her as quickly as possible. Unfortunately for her, the Hero of stories could never die quickly enough.
Naraku gave a dramatic laugh as he started to pull her closer to his weakened body. "I'm not dead!"
"Oh, there's a shocker," Jenny gurgled out sarcastically. "I bet Kikyou is still alive, too."
"No," Inuyasha said, shaking his head. "You killed her, with my approval."
"Really?" Both Jenny and Naraku said, distracted from the tragic death scene.
"Yeah," Kagome answered. "It was about time someone could really kill her."
"Over 9,000 points for me!" Jenny smiled, a sudden halo appearing over her head as a reward for her good deed.
Back to the death scene, however.
Naraku started to pull Jenny into his body. It was a weird feeling, one that she could described. Everyone around her screamed desperately in the hopes of saving their fallen hero. It appeared it wasn't over. Things were never completely over. Jenny closed her eyes, and happily let Naraku absorb her. There was the feeling of falling, then darkness overwhelmed her.
With a sudden gasp, Jenny opened her eyes and found herself back in her bedroom. She was on the floor in front of her t.v. She jumped up, and glanced around. The cool night's air blow into her room, adding to the summer's unusual coolness. In a hurry, she rushed to the mirror in her large room and glanced at herself. Sandy blonde hair, check. Purple fingernails, check. Black tank top, blue jeans, sneakers, check. Light blue eyes, check. No kimono, no wings, no ridiculous extra features. She was herself again! Had it all just been a dream?
Jenny glanced over to her t.v., and was met by a black screen. It was unplugged, and showed to signs of ever having the game on it. She brought her gaze down to the PS2, and frowned. There was no way she was EVER going to use that thing again, rather she had been dreaming or not. Walking over to it, took the game out of it, threw the disk on her bed, walked over to her window, and tossed the console out. It landed on something that sounded like a car. A smirk played at her lips.
Her parents were home.
"JENNY!!"
Her parents yelled.
"Just a moment!" Jenny called, rushing to bring her t.v. to the window. She threw that out too, and was met by more screams. "Hmph," she breathed as a chuckle, placing her hands on her hips. "That should teach them to punish me on my birthday!"