I HATE YOU

Summary- Sakura works at Wendy's and forgets to ask Gaara if he wants ketchup with his meal… in return he sues her. GaaSaku… in an odd and sick way. A crack idea I just randomly thought of.

I sighed and slid my cap on then tied the apron around my waist. Haku gave me a tired smile and nodded when I joined in the shift at drive thru duty. "Another long day, huh?" I asked him earning a nod as he slid to the ground groaning.

"The pickles… and sweet sauce." He murmured running a hand through his hair closing his eyes. My eyes widened thinking of Dane Cook and then I just laughed and shook my head.

"Get up you bum! It's time to serve the customers!" I grinned and turned to see someone very familiar in front of me. Gaara was in a big black BMW staring at me expectantly. "Hey there Gaara." I smiled in surprise and got his food together.

"Hello Sakura." He answered with a nod. I gave him his food and began getting his coke. "I didn't know you worked here." He continued in his monotone voice.

"Yea I didn't either. Well I had to get the job and they hired me today. It's my first day on the job! I need the money. You know how it is." I said with a sigh and gave the man his drink.

"No I don't." Gaara answered and drove off. Haku looked at me oddly and then got up off the ground. Wiping himself off he then turned to me.

"You forgot to ask him if he wants condiments." He informed me making my face pale lightly. I'm already making mistakes! After the day of work ended I headed home and got a phone call. Sighing I picked it up feeling worn out and tired.

"Hello?" I asked in my tired voice. The person on the other end took a second but she responded a moment later.

"Hello Sakura Haruno this is Ino Yamanaka, I'm Gaara Sabaku's lawyer." The woman said making me smile and pull into my apartment lot.

"Hey Ino. Big time lawyer now, I know, you don't have to brag. I didn't know you had Gaara as your client!" I grinned becoming excited for my friend. She didn't laugh or sound happy at all for some reason.

"This is not a social call. I'm calling to inform you that my client, Gaara Sabaku is suing you." She informed me point blank. I paused in complete and utter shock.

"What?" I asked my voice becoming breathless.

"He has already arranged a court meeting for tomorrow at eight in the morning. He would prefer to get this over with as soon as possible." She continued as though I hadn't spoken.

"Ino! This makes no sense! What is he suing me for?!" I demanded angrily.

"You will hear what it is at the hearing tomorrow. I will talk to you then if you have any further questions. Goodbye now, Ms. Haruno." The woman, I no longer recognized as Ino, said hanging up.

Instantly I called Shikamaru. "I need a lawyer for tomorrow." I growled feeling agitated.

The next morning I rushed to the court house in my best business attire and nice heeled shoes. Gaara entered the same time as me and nodded. I nodded back in confusion then glared and chased after him as he entered the court house.

"Why are you suing me?!" I shouted running into the room to see the judge and everyone else seated and ready to go. They were all staring at me as though I was a freak.

"Is everyone ready to get this started?" Lady Tsunade asked from her special judge place. We all nodded making her hit the hammer thing and call for order. "Now let's begin. Gaara, can you please tell us why we have gathered here today."

He stood up then and cleared his throat. "I have gathered you all here today that way I may be able to sue Sakura Haruno for not offering me condiments at Wendy's after I got my food." He informed everyone making the entire room fall over in shock. He glanced around at everyone and then sat down with a strange expression on his face.

"Please tell me there is something else…" Tsunade asked as her eyebrow began twitching. I glared at Gaara with Shikamaru beside me holding me back that way I won't have a real reason to be sued for.

"Nope that's it." He said calmly as Ino gave him a death glare, grabbed her purse, and then stormed out of the court room.

"You JERK!!!!" I shouted fighting against Shikamaru's grip. He sighed and leaned back pulling me away slowly but surely.

"Was my request unreasonable?" Gaara asked blankly. Shikamaru glared and then sighed.

"I knew this would be troublesome. I hate being a lawyer…" He grumbled getting me out of the court house.

"I can't believe that guy!" I shouted angrily and kicked the trashcan just three feet away. A large deformed pile of metal was all that was seen when I was done.

"In this day and age people sue for the most retarded reasons." Shikamaru explained lying on the ground looking up at the sky. I glared at him then turned back to the court house to see Gaara leaving it.

"Gaara you jerk! I hate you!" I screamed as he smirked and walked over.

"I'm taking you out to dinner this Friday. Quit your job." He informed me and turned to go.

"Wait you decided to sue her just so that you can get her to go out on a date with you and quit her job?" Shikamaru asked in shock. I was in shock as well but I found myself nodding.

"Yea. I couldn't think of any other way." He informed us then left for real this time.

"Please tell me you're going to murder that guy…" Shika begged.

"Who knows? I may have to sue him first."