Chapter 12: Harry Potter's Day Off
A week after the DA's latest escapade, Harry was approached by two former members of the DA.
"Harry, we want in." The first voice stated.
Harry could only smirk in response. "You do know what we do, right?"
"Of course, wreak the most havoc possible." The second voice replied.
"Why should I let the pair of you join?" Harry asked curiously.
"Because I have a very brilliant idea." The first person smirked.
"And that would be?" The first person simply whispered the idea into Harry's ear.
"That's brilliant." Harry whispered in awe, before cackling like a madman.
"So, are we in?"
"Most definitely."
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"Hey Sapphie, are you willing to cut class with me on Friday?" Harry asked anxiously.
"Why Mr. Potter, are you trying to ask me out?" At Harry's thunder-struck look, Sapphire continued. "Just kidding, Harry. But I can't go with you because I promised daddy that I wouldn't shirk my education for some mindless cause. Besides, Daddy would be livid if I skipped History of Magic or Double Potions."
"Bugger. Would you do something for me then? Make sure this gets on a certain roll-call list." Harry handed her a folded piece of parchment containing the details of her mission.
Sapphire took it with a smile. "That I can do, Harry."
"Thanks Sapphie! You're the best!" Harry gave her a quick peck on the cheek and ran off to find more accomplices.
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Harry was practically skipping when he ran into Colin Creevey and Hermione Granger coming out of the library.
"Hey Colin, could you please ask your dad for what is written on this list?"
Colin nodded. Harry proceeded to hand Colin his list.
"Woot! Thanks Colin." Harry turned to Hermione.
"Herms, all I want you to do is to not spoil this, 'kay?" Harry tweaked her nose and ran off.
Hermione shook her head, wondering just who had put Harry in this mood or whom was responsible for giving Harry sugar.
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Harry managed to spot Ron and Luna leaving the Great Hall, Ron was looking extremely confused as Luna was explaining one of her mythical creatures to him.
"Ron! Luna!" Harry called as he bounded over to them.
"Hello Harry." The duo greeted simultaneously.
Harry got right down to business. "I need someone to cut class with me on Friday."
Ron gaped like a fish and Luna agreed to go with Harry on Friday.
"Awesome! Thanks Luna!" Harry glomped her and ran off to find more victims.
Ron was still imitating a fish and muttering that his mother would kill him and Luna was giggling.
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"NEV!" Harry shrieked as he tackled the plant-lover near one of the greenhouses.
"Um, hi Harry?" Neville gasped.
"Guess what?" Harry giggled from his position on Neville's chest.
"Um, do I want to know?" Neville asked nervously.
"Of course you do! The two of us plus Luna and two others are cutting class on Friday."
"Don't I get a say in this?" Neville wheezed as Harry was now sitting cross-legged on his chest.
"Nope, and I'm not leaving or moving until you swear a Wizard Vow that you'll join me in whatever I happen to be planning for Friday." Harry declared defiantly.
Neville gulped. A Wizard Vow was less serious than swearing on your magic or making an Unbreakable Vow, which result in loss of magic or death respectively. A Wizard Vow was simply a compulsory vow that makes you do whatever the vow requires. Failure to do so results in turning you green with the word 'Oath Breaker' written on your forehead in a neon color for a minimum period of two days to an indefinite period, depending on the severity of the vow and what the action required was. It would out him as a man who broke his word. Honor was the one of the few things that the Wizarding World valued more than blood.
Neville sighed. If he wanted to be able to breathe properly anytime soon, he would have to make the vow and hope that what ever Harry has planned wouldn't be life-threatening.
"Okay, fine, I'll do it. I, Neville Longbottom swear on my honor as a wizard that I will join Harry Potter in what ever he intends on this Friday, January 19th. Now will you please get off me, I can't breathe." Neville wheezed, exasperated.
"Oki-dokie! No problem Nevvie-Boy! See you later!" Harry hopped off with a grin and ran off with an insane grin plastered across his face.
Neville slowly sat up, starring at the insanely hyper teen that was known as Harry Potter. He only hoped that Harry wouldn't get him killed, or worse, expelled. Then he'd have to live forever with grandmother, with no prospects for his future whatsoever.
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Harry giggled gleefully. His nefarious plot couldn't have been better. Everything was coming together perfectly and no one would be able to predict this one. Friday couldn't come soon enough.
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Harry woke up feeling absolutely giddy. It was finally Friday. As the other boys in the dorm started to wake up, Harry motioned for them to remain silent.
"Ron, do us a favor and tell the professors that we're sick and too weak to get out of bed, but only if they ask. Please?" Harry gave him the puppy-dog eyes.
Ron sighed. "Is this about the mental thing you were recruiting for earlier this week?"
Harry gave a rather enthusiastic nod.
"Then I definitely don't want to know, but I'll cover for you anyway. Plausible Deniability and all that." Ron dressed and quickly left the room.
The others exchanged looks and changed, putting on Muggle clothes instead of their Hogwarts robes.
"So Harry, what exactly are we going to do today?" Neville asked tentatively.
"We're going to go to Hogsmeade and take a day off." Harry grinned.
Neville gulped. "Who's idea was this anyway?"
"Mine!" Dean perked up instantly. "You see, I got the idea after watching a movie over the Christmas Hols, and when I told Harry, he cackled like a madman and decided to do it."
"Harry came up with this hair-brained scheme because of a movie?" Neville nearly shrieked.
"Calm down, Neville. I saw the movie myself and I didn't have a problem with it." Seamus added.
"Besides, Muggle movies are where I get my best ideas. How else do you think I got the idea to make a time-traveling car? In my tea leaves?" Harry deadpanned.
After getting blank looks from the other three, Harry continued exasperated. "Really? None of you have seen Back to the Future?"
A light bulb seemed to go off in Dean's head. "So how did you get enough voltage to power a flux capacitor? Doesn't it require 1.21 gigawatts?"
"Yes," Harry grumbled, "but there's apparently a spell for summoning lightning so..."
"What about Plutonium?" Dean asks curiously.
Harry snorted. "Do you have any idea how difficult that is to get? I wasn't about to cause an international incident because I summoned Plutonium from the nearest government facility. I'm not that crazy."
The other simply raised their eyebrows. Harry sulked. "Fine, let's get going then."
By now, it was well after breakfast so the quartet went down to meet Luna and head off to Hogsmeade.
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"I've got a bad feeling about today." Hermione worried, because anything that could cause Harry Potter to laugh like a mad man was a bad thing. A very bad thing.
"Relax Hermione, what could possibly go wrong?" Ron asked.
"Really Hermione, I'd just enjoy the show." Sapphire added.
"That does not reassure me, Sapphire." Hermione groaned.
Just then, Professor Binns walked through the wall to start the class. He picked up his transparent role call list and started taking attendance.
"Abbott?"
"Here."
"Bones?"
"Present."
"Bueller?"
"Bueller?"
"Bueller?"
Hermione just stared at the ghostly professor. "You've got to be kidding me." She muttered angrily.
"Bueller?"
"Bueller?"
Ron snickered. "This is now my favorite History of Magic class."
Sapphire giggled. "This is very amusing, I wonder how long he'll keep it up?"
"Bueller?"
By now, all of the muggleborns and most of the half-bloods have caught on, and were snickering to themselves, while their pureblooded counterparts looked slightly confused.
"Bueller?"
"Professor, there isn't anyone in this class named 'Bueller'." Ernie MacMillan declared pompously.
"McDonald, there wouldn't be a 'Bueller' on this list if there wasn't a 'Bueller' in this class! Now quit interrupting me while I wait on a response from this 'Ferris Bueller'." The ghost droned.
"Bueller?"
"I'm going to kill Harry Potter!" Hermione muttered mutinously. "This is way out of line!"
"Bueller?"
"Just give it up Hermione, and enjoy the free day." Ron told her seriously.
"Bueller?"
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The quintet of miscreants had slipped into Hogsmeade through the passage in the one-eyed witch's hump.
"So now what?" Neville asked nervously.
The group had exited Honeydukes and were walking along High Street, where some sort of festival seemed to be going on. There was a small wizard band leading the procession, followed by some entertainers and a couple levitating floats. Harry got a very scary grin on his face.
"Why my dear Neville, we're going to hijack one of those lovely floats and become entertainment!" Harry laughed and proceeded to commandeer one of the floats.
Dean and Seamus joined Harry, leaving Neville and Luna in the crowd.
"Hey Luna, which classes are you skipping today?"
"Just Divination and Care of Magical Creatures. I have Friday afternoons off you see." Luna replied.
Neville was about to continue when Harry's amplified voice rang out. "Ladies and gentlemen, you're such a wonderful crowd, we'd like to play a little tune for you. It's one of my personal favorites and I'd like to dedicate it to a young man who thinks he hasn't seen anything good today. Neville Longbottom, this one's for you. (1)"
"Well, shake it up, baby, now
(Shake it up, baby)
Twist and shout
(Twist and shout)
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby, now
(Come on baby)
Come on and work it on out
(Work it on out)
Well, work it on out, honey
(Work it on out)
You know you look so good
(Look so good)
You know you got me goin', now
(Got me goin')
Just like I knew you would
(Like I knew you would)...(2)"
"Well, I know know why Harry was meeting Colin yesterday. He needed a stereo." Neville sighed, exasperated.
"At least it's good music." Luna said happily.
Neville sighed again and nodded, just wanting to get the rest of the day over with.
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It was the start of double potions and none of the Gryffindors had shown up. Snape, although he'd never admit it, was concerned, because not even the know-it-all Hermione Granger was there, and she was never late for any of her lessons, regardless of whatever hair-brained scheme the Potter brat had roped her into.
"Slytherins, start copying the notes off the board. I'm going to search for the rest of the class and when I return there will be Hell to pay." Snape snarled.
The Slytherins snickered, and actually did what they were told.
Snape stalked off to check with McGonagall to see where his missing students might be. Oddly enough, he met her near the History wing, not the Transfiguration Department like he had expected.
"Minerva! What class were your sixth year Gryffindors in prior to this period?" Severus inquired.
"Double History of Magic. I'm searching for my missing Hufflepuffs actually, and they have History with my Lions. I was wondering why they didn't show up with the Ravenclaws like they usually do." Minerva looked worried.
"Shall we go see Binns together then?" Minerva nodded and off they strode.
They arrived at the History of Magic classroom where second year Ravenclaws and Slytherins waited impatiently.
"Professors! We can't get in! We think he has a class still but that shouldn't be possible!" One of the Ravens cried.
"Yeah! The door's locked and we didn't know what to do!" One of the Slytherins remarked.
"How about send someone for a teacher?" Snape intoned.
"Um, we didn't think about that." The Slytherin boy muttered.
"Obviously."
"Professor Snape!" McGonagall lightly smacked the other professor. "Now is simply not the time to be scolding second years on their lack of common sense! We have a situation that needs resolving." With that, McGonagall strode to the door with purpose, knocked three times while saying something under her breath.
The door swung open with a loud click, stunning both professors with the sight.
Hermione Granger was beating her head against the wall, while a couple students studied and others played games. Strangely, no one was sleeping for once.
"Bueller?"
"Bueller?"
"Bueller?"
"Professor Binns! What on Earth is going on here?" McGonagall shouted angrily.
Binns looked startled. "My dear professor, I've yet to finish taking attendance. I can't send these students on to their next class without having note of who all was here."
"Bueller?"
"Bueller?"
"Bueller?"
"Professor! There is no one at this school named Ferris Bueller. It's just a dunderheaded prank." Snape's lips were twitching,as if he was trying not to laugh.
"Oh I see but I must continue the roll now. Bueller?" As one, every student's head hit their desk with a resounding thunk.
"Bueller?"
"Miss Granger, has he been doing this all class period?" McGonagall asked incredulously.
"Yes, and it has been driving me batty!" Hermione wailed.
"Weasley, Slytherin, take Granger to the Hospital Wing. She seems to be in dire need of a headache cure and a calming draught." Snape ordered.
"Yes sir," the duo chorused, dragging their near comatose friend out of the room.
"Bueller?"
"The rest of you go to your next class." The Hufflepuffs scrambled out of the room, finally having had enough of the mad ghost.
"Bueller?"
McGonagall and Snape exited the room, still able to hear the demented ghost's calls of "Bueller?" to an empty room.
"You lot need to head to the Great Hall. This is now a study period. Now shoo!" McGonagall ordered, and the second years left, grumbling.
"Now what, Minerva?" Severus asked quietly.
McGonagall sighed. "I've got to go inform Albus that our history teacher has finally gone 'round the bend."
Severus nodded, still being able to hear "Bueller?" through the wooden door.
McGonagall turned to leave when a silvery wolf Patronus appeared in front of the pair.
"You won't believe this Minerva! You must come to Hogsmeade immediately, there is something you must see!" Remus Lupin's voice echoed around the corridor.
Minerva and Severus exchanged looks. "I'll let you handle this one, Severus."
The cat-lady marched off to go find Albus and tell him he needed a new History teacher.
Severus gave the door one last look before chuckling and heading to Hogsmeade to see what the wolf wanted.
"Bueller?"
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By the time Severus arrived in Hogsmeade, the Founder's Day Parade had already started. Every year on January 19th, the Founder's Day Parade took place, with the Founder's Festival the following weekend. Each year a professor was stationed in Hogsmeade in order to catch students skipping class to go to the festivities. This year Lupin was on skipper patrol, and obviously he had something to report if he was requesting back up. It didn't take Snape long before he found the werewolf.
"What is it Lupin?" Severus grumbled.
Remus smiled. "Just follow me Severus. You won't believe your eyes."
Remus led Severus through the crowd, stopping just past a float.
"I was honestly expecting Minerva." Remus muttered absentmindedly.
"Tough, Wolf. You can deal with it. I should inform you of the situation back at the castle. Someone managed to succeed where James Bloody Potter failed." Severus snarked.
Remus started. "There are only two things James failed to do, cover the Great Hall in lemon pudding, and get rid of Binns. As you are not covered in pudding, I must assume the latter."
"Well, shake it up, baby, now
(Shake it up, baby)
Twist and shout
(Twist and shout)"
"Yes Wolf, that senile ghost is spouting off 'Bueller?' in ten second intervals. You can try to reason with him, but it doesn't stick! He's completely and utterly mad!" Severus yelled.
"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby, now
(Come on baby)
Come on and work it on out
(Work it on out)"
"Wolf, who's in charge of the music this year? It's actually tolarable." Severus snapped.
"Erm, yes Severus, that's actually why I called you. A small group of students have stolen a float and are using it to entertain." Remus sweat-dropped.
"You know you twist your little girl
(Twist your little girl)
You know you twist so fine
(Twist so fine)"
"Well, at least these students have taste. When are we going to bust 'em?"
"After their performance, may as well enjoy the music. Better then bagpipes at any rate."
"Come on and twist a little closer, now
(Twist a little closer)
And let me know that you're mine
(Let me know you're mine)"
"Fine. Who's singing then?"
"Well, shake it up, baby, now
(Shake it up, baby)
Twist and shout
(Twist and shout)"
Remus just gave him a look. "Severus, who do you think could possibly be this insane?"
"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby, now
(Come on baby)
Come on and work it on out
(Work it on out)"
"Oh Merlin, it's Potter, isn't it?"
"You know you twist your little girl
(Twist your little girl)
You know you twist so fine
(Twist so fine)"
Remus nodded. "As well as Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas, Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood."
"Come on and twist a little closer, now
(Twist a little closer)
And let me know that you're mine
(Let me know you're mine)"
At that moment, all of the puzzle pieces clicked for Severus. "He's recreating Ferris Bueller's Day Off."
"Well, shake it, shake it, shake it, baby, now
(Shake it up baby)
Well, shake it, shake it, shake it, baby, now
(Shake it up baby)
Well, shake it, shake it, shake it, baby, now
(Shake it up baby)!"
"What's that, Severus?"
"A Muggle movie from the 80s about a kid and his friends who cut class and run around the city of Chicago."
Remus still looked slightly confused. "Okay?"
Severus pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Potter's managed to recreate two of the most infamous scenes from the movie. His teacher saying 'Bueller?' and the Twist and Shout scene from the parade."
Remus sighed. "That makes a disturbing amount of sense."
"Let's go bust them now."
Remus nodded and went to fetch Neville and Luna, leaving Snape to retrieve the "Ferris" of the day.
Snape jumped in front of the float, throwing out his hand declaring, "STOP! IN THE NAME OF LOVE!"
Everything around him came to a screeching, crashing halt.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" Everyone in Hogsmeade shouted.
"You're BUSTED!"
With that, Snape grabbed his hooligans and started to drag them back to the castle, meeting Lupin and his captives near the gate.
"'Stop! In the name of love?' Really Severus?"
"Shut up, Wolf."
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The quintet was quickly dragged to Dumbledore's office, where they all received detention for a week. Later that night, Harry was wandering the History of Magic corridor. He pressed an ear to the door and walked away satisfied when he heard "Bueller?" come from behind the closed door.
Harry giggled madly, all they had to do was say "Here."
"Bueller?"
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Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter or Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I also do Not own anything you might recognize, like Twist and Shout, Stop! In the name of love!, or any other odd reference that you might happen to catch.
(1): This is the actual quote Ferris Bueller says in the Twist & Shout scene. I only substituted Neville Longbottom for Cameron Fry.
(2): Lyrics to the Beatles song Twist & Shout.
A/N: I'm so, so sorry! I know I suck at updating. Thankfully, I have an idea for the next chapter already, so hopefully you guys won't have to wait another year for an update. . Stupid formatting... I hope this chapter answered you question, campanula1979!
This is officially, my favorite chapter to date. I had fun writing it, and it's also 11 pages long! Poor Sevvie was past his breaking point, dealing with insane students and demented ghosts and all. I know Harry and Co. aren't taking History of Magic in sixth year. Thanks for reading, and I hoped you enjoyed it! Please review!
~A. Rosalie