Author's Note: What my muse wants, she gets, no matter how illogical it seems to add yet another WIP to my already crammed roster. But, I couldn't help myself. Ever since a kind citizen on YouTube posted almost every episode of Hey Arnold! on their channel, the plot bunnies have been attacking me with their carrot bazookas and one of them even has a catapult full of lettuce now and isn't afraid to use it.
Instead of returning fire with firecrackers (and getting on FEMA's most wanted list), I decided to take the diplomatic route and yield to their clamoring.
Like 99.5% of watchers, I am firmly on the ship of Arnold and Helga and I've been reading some very well written "into the future" stuff with them finally getting their act together. I want to play too! Plus, I love to write high school fics (one of my WIPs is an NCIS one) and since I am one of the Queens of Romance and Smut, I didn't want to be held back by things like age. So, our heroes and the rest of the gang are in 12th grade and I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter. It's more of a prologue than a first chapter but the sentiment's still there.
Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"
Her alarm clock rang and she immediately shut it off, sitting up into her usual cat like stretching. At 4:30, there was a very small chance that Big Bob would need the bathroom, leaving her to get ready for the first day of school in peace. Normally, Helga Geraldine Pataki didn't give a rat's ass about how she looked (other than clean clothes and the waxing to prevent the return of the Dreaded Unibrow) but this year was different.
This year, she would be a high school Senior. This year would be the last year she would be in Hillwood and soon, she would be across the country or across the globe, getting a degree in Literature before becoming the next Jane Austen. After today, there were only 179 days (including the eventual snow days) to go until she could hear Superintendent Chaplin announce "The Class of 2005 is now graduated!"
She was determined to leave the Hillwood school district with a little more grace and class than she entered. Not that she'd ever turn into a Rhonda Wellington Lloyd but hey, a little change was good for the soul.
Crossing to her closet, she slid inside and clapped her hands twice, illuminating the hidden space behind the coats and dresses. The gum statue of her beloved and muse had been replaced by a dresser and vanity containing her hygiene supplies and clothes. Her thick volumes of poetry and a more recent photo of him took up the space behind it. They were her shrine now, along with numerous small battery flamed peppermint candles, his scent. Kneeling before the photo, she began to speak softly to it as if he were there with her. If only that were true…
"Good morning, my flaxen haired angel. Today is a milestone. Today is the day that you and I will become seniors in high school and freshmen in the school of adulthood. Although relations have steadily improved between us since that fateful night on the Roof, I desire more than friendship. I want to be your companion in all ways, to be fully yours until death and even beyond. In order to do that, though, I must first shed the cold embittered shell that all see, revealing the true me, the me that you've always had faith exists. I must open up my cocoon so that not only can I evolve but our relationship as well, regardless of the opinions and jeers of our classmates. I just hope that my newfound bravery has not come too late and you have not been taken by the Dark One."
Lila Sawyer had been chasing him persistently since 8th grade, having a deep effect on her beloved. He had valiantly fought off her advances in the past, the sting of her earlier scorn deep and unforgiving. But, things had changed now. His parents had returned to Hillwood at the end of the last school year, recently released hostages from San Lorenzo's dying dictatorship. One of their main advocates for release had been Jackson Sawyer, Lila's high powered attorney uncle. Were it not for his persistence, Miles and Stella Shortman would still be trapped away from their son.
Lila was not above using that great debt of gratitude to her dad to get her claws in him. The "ever so" sweet country bumpkin had a dark side, one embraced fully after puberty. While she put on the good girl show for adults, she was a callous and vindictive person to her peers, the captain of the Cheerleading squad and her attitude was like one of the Sith on the Force: deep and stealthy, benevolent on the outside but purely self serving at the core. Hence her being referred to as the Dark One. Geeky? Yes. Accurate? Hell, Yes.
Unfortunately, she was still Helga's main obstacle to him, whether her feelings were reciprocated by him or not. How deeply entrenched would remain to be seen until she got to school. Pressing a kiss to the silver frame, Helga scrambled to her feet and began gathering clothing and her rarely used cosmetics before heading for the bathroom.
She wanted to be ready by 6:30 so she could get to the bus stop on time.
//////////////
"Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold! Hey Arn-"
Two long elegant fingers disconnected the handmade alarm clock and then picked up a remote, turning on MJZZ. At 5:00, it was Artist's Hour, this time one of his favorites, Ella Fitzgerald. With a small smile, 17 year old Arnold Phillip Shortman climbed out of his bed and immediately headed downstairs, towards the smells of bacon and eggs.
"Mornin', Tex. Your Ma and I were just talkin' about how exciting it is for you to be so close to your last childhood rodeo." his grandma greeted cheerfully while handing him a plate loaded with pancakes and hash browns.
Stella smiled at her antics and pressed a kiss to his brow in greeting, barely reaching it on her tiptoes. Arnold had grown from 5'4 to 6'2, matching his dad and Grandpa in height. His oblong shaped head had shrunk a little, becoming his mother's and in better proportion to his long, lean body. He picked her up in a light hug before sitting down to his breakfast.
"I just can't believe you're a Senior now, baby. I feel so old." Stella said between sips of coffee.
"Age ain't anything but a number, Stell. Morning, son." Miles greeted as he came in from tinkering with the Packard with Grandpa.
"Hey, dad. The Packard okay?"
"Sound as a nut other than the stuck radio knob. Good thing they're playing Ella. You taking the bus to school?"
"Yeah. Gerald and Phoebe are coming back from Tokyo today. He said they'd be on the bus with pictures." Arnold replied with a smile.
His best friend had been invited by his "friend" Phoebe to spend the summer in Japan with her parents. Every email had been full of details of the beauty of Japanese culture, landscape, and most importantly, Phoebe Heyerdahl. It was very entertaining to watch the Cat and Mouse but Arnold was kind of sick of all the tension, something he had said (in a very tactful way) in his replies.
If they didn't come back as at least boyfriend and girlfriend, Arnold would resurrect his old Dangerous Lumber and nail him with a 90 mile per hour fastball for cowardice. What kind of best friend would he be if he didn't?
"And probably an engagement ring." Miles added on wryly, causing Arnold to nod in agreement.
"Boys!" Stella chided.
"What? We weren't that much older than them when I asked you to marry me. Young love's a good thing. Our son knows all about that with that Sawyer girl." he replied with a teasing wink in his direction.
Arnold flushed beetroot at the implication and shook his head in denial yet again.
"It's not like that, dad. Lila's a friend, no an acquaintance. I barely know her anymore. Besides, I'm not interested in her like that." he replied, trying and failing not to put emphasis on the word her.
"Oh, so there is someone. Who is she? Do we know her?" Stella asked, in her mom way, her "don't you dare lie" way.
Since Arnold was a horrible liar to begin with, it was usually not a problem to yield to it but this…this was different. Way different. Unconsciously, his mind went back to the FTi rooftop, to the girl that still haunted him, years later…
"You heard me, pal. I love you. Love you! Who else do you think has been stalking you night and day, building shrines of you in a closet, filling volumes with poems about you? I love you Arnold! I've always loved you! Ever since I laid eyes on your stupid football head! From that moment and every moment since, I've lived and breathed for you, dreamed of the moment I could finally tell you my secret feelings and could grab you and kiss you and—! Oh, come here, you big lug!"
To this day, no girl had kissed him like Helga Pataki and no girl affected him as much as she did. They had dismissed it as a "heat of the moment" event and had even become friends. Oh, she still called him Football Head and he was still a spitball target but she was softer towards him. He had become like Phoebe to her. When the conditions were just right, she opened up to him and let him see the human behind the Helga.
He lived for those moments and somewhere in between baseball, the school newspaper, partnering up in classes, and "Move it, Football Head!"s, he had fallen for her hard. It was hilarious. Just when she had put him firmly in the dreaded "Friend Zone", he realized that he was in love with her and had been for a very long time, even before The Roof.
Lila couldn't hold up to that. Although, it didn't stop her from trying constantly…
"It's…complicated, mom. Really complicated. Um, I gotta get ready for school." he evaded before quickly heading back upstairs.
Of course, he didn't move fast enough to avoid hearing his Grandma say that it was that nice girl Eleanor, causing Miles and Phil to bust a gut laughing saying that they had always known that he would fall that Pataki girl and Stella to swat them between her own giggles.
Jeez, if I can't hide it from my family, how long am I going to be able to keep it from Helga herself?
He wasn't looking forward to finding out.
//////////////
"What're you so dressed up for, Olga?"
"It's Helga, dad and I have school. It's the first day of senior year."
"But, you're only 14! How can you be a senior already?"
"I turned seventeen 3 months ago, Miriam. Don't you remember the party we went to at Arnold's? You saw Suzie again and you two danced the flamenco with Lorenzo's dad and uncle."
A hint of fond comprehension entered her mother's gaze but it was quickly drowned in another sip of her "Smoothie". Helga sighed heavily at the sad sight and continued packing her lunch and after school snack. With the newspaper, art club, dance, and trumpet sectionals, she rarely got home before 5PM. The snack was for energy and to keep her blood sugars level.
She had been diagnosed with hypoglycemia in 6th grade and since then, she had been watching her diet like a hawk. Oh, don't get her wrong, she would definitely scarf down a load of chili cheese fries and a Yahoo soda but only on special occasions. She wasn't a hippie vegetarian/vegan like Olga but pretty damned close to it.
Due to that, vigorous exercise, and her height of 5'11, she was considered "hot" by teenage standards. One guy in Sophomore year had even called her a "Yellow Haired Goddess" in a beautiful anonymous poem. If she ever met him, she'd definitely give a kiss or tickets to Wrestlemania...whatever was easier.
Closing her deep lunch bag, she stowed it in her pink and purple backpack before leaving her parents to the paper and a blackout. Pulling on her long black leather jacket, she took one last look in the full length mirror. The first day of school was Picture Day, giving her a viable excuse for her first blows to the Cocoon.
Instead of her usual jeans, tee, and hoodie combo, Helga had put on a snow white top that left her shoulders bare, a flowing brown skirt with pink lotus flowers on it (a new gift from Phoebe's jaunt to Tokyo with Geraldo), and black sandals, showing off her legs and silver toenails. Her long blonde hair had been put into a large cinnamon bun with two pink chopsticks securing it, a classier alternative to her (in) famous pink bow. She still wore it sometimes but now, it was more a choker or a bracelet.
A constant in her look though was the sapphire pendent against her clavicle, her beloved's birthstone.
After one too many close calls with her locket, she had put it away into her shrine, replacing it with the pendent the summer after 8th grade, wanting more discretion for high school. No longer did she go off into romantic tangents behind random objects but sometimes, she could be seen toying with the stone, a wistful look on her face.
No one dared asked why, though, for the fear of Helga G. Pataki still deep within them.
This year would change that as well.
Determined, she picked up her stuff and headed out into the sunny September morning.
//////////////
"Helga!" she squealed before darting away from Gerald.
Arnold watched as Phoebe nearly mowed her to the bus floor in a hug and was surprised when she hugged back just as tightly, a brilliant smile on her face as they sat down. Helga rarely smiled but when she did, it lit up the room. The mere sight of it made his heart go into double time…
"Hey, Pheebes. How was Japan?" she replied.
"Oh, it was wonderful! I got to meet my Great-Grandmother who's 104 and she told me many fascinating stories about…"
"Your girl's looking fine, man.", Gerald said with a nod towards Helga.
"Fine" didn't do her justice. She was the Yellow Haired Goddess he had dubbed her in an accidentally turned in poem in Sophomore year. She was every pretty supermodel to the nth power and better. What made her better was that she had a brain and a fire to go along with the beauty, something other girls lacked.
"She's not my girl, Gerald." he corrected as usual.
Gerald had latched onto his feelings about Helga after the Poem but had kept mum about it. He hadn't even told Phoebe, which was an impressive feat. It didn't mean that he didn't tease him mercilessly about the irony. After all the fuss he made after Rhonda's origami marriage thing putting them together, he had followed its prediction to the letter. Well, except for the whole married thing…and the whole her not knowing thing…
"Not yet, buddy. You two are like me and Phoebe only ten times worse."
Arnold took the opportunity to turn it around on his friend, glad that Gerald's "shocking announcement" had finally given him leverage to tease back.
"Oh yeah, congratulations for finally taking your head out of your ass. It only took you about 15 years." he snarked with a nod towards Phoebe's left hand.
Like his dad had said, Phoebe had ran happily onto the bus in a snow white kimono, showing him the 2 caret ring that Mr. Heyerdahl had given Gerald who had proposed on Mt. Fuji, the culmination of a crush/love nurtured from Pre-K. Arnold was happier than Abner in the mud for his friends but he was still going to rag on Gerald for the rest of their lives.
It was what best friends did.
"Mm-hm…and now it's your turn, Shortman. If you don't tell Helga that you love her and wanna make little football headed babies with her this year, I'm going to put it on a big, neon covered billboard in Times Square. Don't think I won't. My man Fuzzy Slippers can make it happen."
Arnold rolled his eyes and watched as the bus filled with more of their classmates.
Stinky, Sid, and Harold were talking about the latest Kill Bill and how Uma Thurman would kick Xena's ass. Curly was looking wistfully at Rhonda between glances at his worn copy of 1984 and Rhonda had expressed her approval at Helga's look before nearly shattering the sound barrier with her squeal at Phoebe's ring. Now, all the girls plus Eugene were around them, asking about how it happened and when the wedding was and if they could be in it…
"Good morning, Arnold." a voice purred and he bit back a groan.
"Hi, Lila." he replied with the enthusiasm of a root canal patient.
//////////////
She pouted slightly at his tone.
Was he still playing hard to get? It had been 4 years, for goodness sake! When Lila had decided to like him, like him, she had expected him to jump for joy. After all, he had been ever so persistent and sweet with his little crush on her back in 4th grade. She had been interested in 3 other guys at the time and it wouldn't have been right to be with him like that.
But, Stinky had fallen for a girl named Martha from PS 120, Curly was completely obsessed with Rhonda, and Arnie…well, sadly they just weren't meant to be. So, after healing from her wounds, she had decided to give Arnold a chance, to see where it would go. It was only supposed to be an experiment, a fling.
That all changed when he actually turned her down.
Her daddy said that she could get anything she wanted when she set her mind to it so she set her mind on Arnold, focusing mainly on him, even when she became popular and prettier than ever. It had become an obsession, one that she knew was unhealthy but had no intention of stopping. Not until she got him. When she had asked her uncle to help in San Lorenzo, it had only been because of Arnold. If she helped him get his parents back, whether dead or alive, then he would have no choice than to be with her.
After all, he owed her. Now, she was coming to collect. He looked ever so sexy.
His wild hair was combed back with a couple of locks framing his bright green eyes. He was in a black graphic tee with silver music notes on the left side and dark green cargos. Even his feet were sexy, smooth and well groomed in his brown sandals. Lila just wanted to eat him up like a sundae at Slausen's. Just dip him in chocolate and...
"You sound ever so sad, Arnold. What's bothering you?" she asked in her "sweet" mode.
She swept back one of her auburn braids and leaned forward, making sure that he got a good look at the girls in her cheer uniform. No man was immune to her charms, no matter how hard they tried. Arnold was just playing hard to get as always, making the chase even more exciting.
"Nothing important. Look, I need to go talk to Helga. I'll see you later." he said while getting up.
Helga? Why would he want to talk to her? She was ever so plain and a complete basket case. Not only was she mean to every living thing, she was under the delusion that Arnold would ever love her back. How could he when he had a much better match in her?
Lila's eyes narrowed as he laughed at something Pataki said and at the gooey look in the girl's eyes. Arnold was her man and Lila wasn't going to share him! And how dare he even give her the time of day? She had been the meanest to him and nothing, not even an Extreme Makeover could cover over that. She touched him! How dare she touch him?!
With a quiet snarl, she made to approach them but the bus halted outside West Hillwood High School, causing her sweet facade to fall back into place for now. Inwardly, she was seething, especially as Helga's eyes lit on her with…triumph?! Like she won?! Lila begged to differ…
Fine! If Pataki wanted a fight, then she'd get one. No amount of brute force and threats could change one simple fact.
Arnold Shortman belonged to her and only her.
Helga had no chance and if for some odd, unholy reason she did, then she would simply…eliminate the competition.
It was the Order of Things.