Disclaimer: NOT MINE.

A/N: If you are a reader of Obsessed/Animal I Have Become/Tears In The Cradle, go check out my profile for update information. I'm working as hard as I can.

Also: Time After Time's SEQUAL is now up!! It's tittled, "The Second Hand Unwinds"

Warning: Rated M for mature content in Part Five

Part ONE

The sun, desperately trying to break through a crack in the dark grey clouds, managed ever so slightly, to glisten against the rain drops as they fell to splash against the ground in a fast, rhythmic pattern all around the two men.

To Yagami Raito, the sound was like the drums of war, calling him to the final battle. Only thing was, there would not be much of a battle. He would win, as he always had, and the prize could never be one.

The wind was chilling cold as it brushed against his body, slivering it's way up his sleeves like a serpent made of ice. It blew his auburn, sun kissed hair in and out of his eyes, making it difficult to see L as he stood hunched over starring off into the distance in soaking wet clothes, and crazily enough, barefoot.

This image, this scene, had played over twenty different times for Light. Twenty times he would receive that look from the raven haired man, that look of exhausted, shattered disappointment in Raito, in himself, and mostly…in life.

And twenty times Raito's own soul and heart would crumble in a fire of hatred for L, for himself, and for every desire that ever burnt inside his body.

Like every time before, Raito would call out to L, "What are you doing standing out there by yourself?"

L would lift his pale white hand, past his dripping black hair to his ear, motioning how he could not hear over the heavy down pour of the rain, and Raito would only ask louder, "What are you doing standing out there by yourself?"

L would smile slightly and repeat his actions for Raito, who, every time previously had become frustrated, but this time, he remained calm. He was savoring this moment with the older man.

Raito lifted his hand for protection from the rain, then stepped completely outside, walking towards the detective. "What are you doing, Ryuzaki?" He asked, knowing full well of the answer, but wanting to hear the man's voice so desperately.

"Oh, I'm not doing anything in particular, it's just, I hear the bell."

"The bell?" He asked, already knowing the bell did not exist, as least, not for them.

"Yes. The sound of the bell has been unusually loud today."

Raito kept his charade. Saying something else on the roof, never made a difference. "Hm? I don't hear anything."

"Really? You can't hear it? It's been ringing non stop all day. I find it very distracting. I wonder if it's a church, maybe a wedding, or perhaps, a…"

He did not want to hear that last word. Not again. No, not again. He interrupted quickly, "What are you getting at, Ryuzaki? Come on. Cut it out. Lets get back inside."

There was a short pause as L dropped his head, wet, dark hair sliding down to cling to the sides of his perfectly rounded cheeks, as water dripped slowly to the ground, echoing around Light . "I'm sorry." He confessed, turning away from Raito and hunching his shoulders. "Nothing I say makes any sense anyway." L took a deep breath before finishing with, "If I were you, I wouldn't believe any of it."

Raito tried to remember all the words he said before, but he couldn't. So he just agreed, hoping it was something close. "You know, you're totally right. Honestly, most of the things you say sounds like complete nonsense. There would be no end to my troubles if I actually took you seriously all the time. I probably know that better than anyone."

"Yes, I would say that's a fair assessment. But, I could say the same about you."

Yes, Raito thought, I was close. Very close.

He pretended to be shocked, "Hm? What's that suppose to mean?"

"Tell me Raito, from the moment you were born, has there ever been a point where you actually told the truth?"

The question hurt like daggers, and L's black eyes chilled Raito in ways the rain and the wind never could. Raito felt his eyes sting with tears.

L knew nothing. Nothing of his heart, or of his tries, and frankly, he was tired of trying. He wanted to give up too, to become an empty shell, void of any emotion, but L had broke that shell too easily, so long ago.

Raito wanted to say, Every time I ever told you that I loved you. Instead, Raito's lips parted, rain drops falling on his bottom lips as he answered honestly, "Some time a lie is all someone can say. Either to protect themselves, or to protect those they care about. Lieing isn't something that makes you evil. In fact, I know you have lied to me several times L. You can't deny that."

L was not phased. His eyes continued their glaring gaze into Raito's eyes, almost like a challenge with the devil. "Oh? I had a feeling you might say something like that."

Raito's body tensed, completely hurt.

L said, "Lets go back inside. We're both drenched."

Inside the warm building, Raito sat on the steps, starring at the towel within his hands, his tanned, thin fingered hands that took hundreds upon hundreds of lives, and ruined that many and more. Guilt was still pecking away at his sanity. It was only a matter of time when he knew he would snap. And it would be so fast and easy, like in all those movies where the criminal's sanity breaks like a twig and that's the end.

Raito would go back, L would be dead, and Raito would slowly bleed out until his breath hitched, his chest tightened, and his eyes closed with a sigh of contentment.

Time…

Raito was running out of time.

A glance at the infamous watch from his father that he came to despise, told him maybe ten minutes was all that was left before L...

Raito lifted the white, fluffy and warm towel, pressing it to his face, drying the tears running so smoothly down his young cheeks.

"Well, that was certainly an unpleasant outing." L commented apathetically.

Raito sat silently, listening to the sounds of L drying his hair, and the soft flap flap of his feet walking across the floor. He wanted to say something, anything really, to make L understand, but he was afraid he said enough, or possibly too much already. He'd certainly done enough. Every single thing he could think of he tried. Rem, Misa, his Father, nothing changed the outcome. One way or another, L would always die, and Raito's heart could not bare to witness the site of L's beautiful midnight eyes closing once again.

Raito closed his own tight, feeling that familiar gentle touch of L's fingertips playing on his skin. He held in a moan, and sunk himself deep into memories that could only cause pain yet, he needed them. Pain was the only reminder he was still alive.

L's fingers began kneading Raito's foot painfully, making him gasp. "You'll get use to it."

"I...I already have." The words were whispered too softly for L's ears, regrettably. Raito lifted his own towel to L's hair and gently massaged the scalp with his fingertips, the murderous fingertips. Raito wondered sometimes if he was never born at all, what would have become of L in a world without Kira, without their secret nights.

Ring... Ring... Ring...

L's phone.

L stood from his knees, letting Raito's foot drop gently to the floor, and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Raito watched with painfully curious eyes, when his heart gave way, and he jumped from his spot on the steps toward L.

"No, L! Don't answer that!" His voice shouted at the top of his lungs.

Suddenly, he knocked the cell phone from L's hands, sending it to skid across the room. His arms wrapped around L's waist, tackling the unsuspecting man to the floor where the two landed in a loud thud.

Raito didn't let go, or more accurately, wouldn't. The two lay motionless for what seemed like an eternity, L beneath Raito, and Raito burying his face in L's thick shirt, chocking on sobs till he began a fit of hiccups. Baffled at Raito's strange behavior, L said and did nothing.

"Don't...Please don't answer that phone L. I'll do anything, just don't answer the phone! PLEASE."

"I won't."

Raito's body stayed tense, and shaky. L thought of just pushing the boy off but...the way he held tight to L, it dug a feeling of fear out of his soul somehow. Raito changed. He was not the same Raito from five minutes ago, that was for sure.

"L...L, I don't want you to die. I can't stand it when you die."

A stabbing fear rose the tiny hairs on the back of L's neck. "What makes Raito believe that I am going to die?" L asked, not at all realizing his arms were wrapping themselves around Raito's damp body in an overly tight embrace.

"I've watched you." Raito whispered. "And it's driving me insane. You can not make me go through it again."

"Again?"

"I tried. I really did. You have to believe me. Oh L I'm so sorry!"

"Raito, nothing you are saying is making any sense."

Raito sniffled and wiped at his eyes. "It never makes any sense. Over and over again yet still you keep dieing, and I keep standing in the yellow box...and your always dead."

"A nightmare perhaps? A dream would exp-"

"NO! It's real! The notebook is real, but you never believe me."

L gently pushed Raito off in order to collect himself, and especially to get the boy's wet, warm body away from such close proximity's. L wiped his face and glanced over at the now broken cell phone. "It seems Raito will get his wish, as my phone appears to be in not one, but two individual pieces."

"I don't care about your stupid phone."

"Well neither do I, Raito. I care about the mental health of my first friend. Here, allow me to help." L stretched out his hand for Raito, who slapped it away standing on his own.

"Please take me seriously. You'll die if you don't."

"But I am. According to what you are telling me, you are obviously in firm belief that you have time traveled. Am I close?"

Raito smiled. "You believe me?"

"No. I am asking what you believe Raito."

"L...this is the twentieth time I have attempted to save your life. I'm tired. I don't think I could write another date. If you don't believe me now..."

"What? What if I don't believe you?"

Raito hated to say it. The reality was too painful. "You will-"

"Die. Yes, so you've told me. Anything else?"

"Matt. Mello. My father, Teru, Misa, Takada...you."

L's brain ran into super drive. Mello? Matt? Raito could not possibly be speaking of who he thought the boy was speaking of. There was no way he could know their names let alone aliases. Clearly Raito was far more clever than L gave him credit.

Very carefully he asked, "How do we die Raito?"

"How?"

"Yes."

"Matt is shot. I tried to stop it! I stood in front of him! I said don't, he's only a kid because well, he is. Fifteen L! Fifteen! He can't die at fifteen. But, but they shot my arm." L's eyebrow lifted curiously as Raito motioned towards his right arm. "And they still took Takada. I couldn't, no one would listen. I didn't know what else to do but I couldn't leave him alone. You have to understand L."

"What happened to Mello?"

"Mello? He, He had a heart attack. But that's all my fault too! I can't undo what Takada did. I just don't have all the pieces or know everything. Regrettably...I wasn't in control as much as I had always thought."

"Are you in control now?"

"No!" Raito grabbed L by the shoulders and shook him fiercely. "If I was in control I would fix everything! But I can't save everyone. It's impossible!"

"I'm sorry to hear that." Raito stepped away from L slowly. Something was wrong. L's voice was too low, too smooth. Something was hidden in that tone.

As Raito's eyes drifted left then right, he spotted Watari and the rest of the task force heading towards him, and in Watari's hand, a needle. No!!! No they couldn't do this. That's not fair! Not after everything he has been through!!

"Why can't you ever understand? Damn it L your, L! You have to believe me!"

L watched as Soichiro took his son by the arms and slowly forced him to his knees. Watari's needle slid in smooth, and deep, releasing pain up Raito's arm. A whimper broke from his throat and he tried to kick Matsuda as he thrashed around in his father's arms. After all this time, he still couldn't stand to look at the young detective who had gunned him down.

"Raito stop, calm down, Son. Everything is alright."

"No, it isn't. Not if L tests the Death Note. Rem...Rem..." His words were meant to be shouted, but his strength was vanishing. He could barely keep his eyes open, and L was but a wavering vision across the room as always, before everything went black.

Part TWO

Raito woke blind folded, and strapped to a chair in what felt like a straight jacket binding his arms tightly around himself. He sucked in a deep breath and tried to move, but his arms were too tight.

"Don't bother Raito." L said from a speaker overhead. "You are securely attached to the chair in the room you once spent your confinement in. After the strait jacket, well, I wanted to make sure you were properly mounted to the chair as well. I believe the metal chains will do the trick, considering your physique. It's only for your protection. I wouldn't want Raito to hurt himself."

"L..."

"Yes?"

"I love you."

L wasn't shocked really, maybe just surprised at how bold Raito suddenly was. Soichiro however, was flabbergasted. His jaw nearly dropped open to say something but L waved his hand for silence.

"Do you Raito?" He asked sounding to Raito a bit condescending. He believed it all to be Raito's grand, amazing acting skills that always seem to portray him as the victim. Well, L was tired of it.

"Yes."

"You don't know me enough to have such feelings Raito. I'm afraid you are delusional." L stressed delusional, hoping the insult would crawl under the arrogant teen's skin, but Raito chuckled in a high pitch tone, sending chills up every task member's spine as they all watched from the security cameras.

Raito began wondering if getting drunk on L's voice was at all possible. But so far he'd done it. L was alive. L was talking to him!

"I know your name." He said after a brief moment of silence.

"You know my name?" L asked skeptically. There was no way Raito could know that even if time travel was real, which it was most definitely not. But if it were, Raito still would not know something like that. No one but he and Watari knew.

"Law...li...et."

L froze.

Watari froze.

The air in the entire building thickened. Soichiro, Matsuda and Aizawa all turned to their leader L, who's face was of pure shock. 'Lawliet' had slipped from the boy's lips one syllable at a time all too easily. As if he had spoke it aloud numerous times. L blinked, shook his head, and asked, "Do you like to lie, Raito? Everyone he is lying."

"I haven't lied to you. Not anymore anyways."

"Anymore?" L saw the opportunity and stole it. "Raito, are you Kira?"

Raito laughed that same high pitch giggle. "Yes. Want me to prove it?"

"No. That won't be necessary."

L glanced at Soichiro who shook himself from his stupor. "Raito, what are you saying? L! You can't possibly believe him. Something is obviously wrong with him! He's most likely being controlled."

"No." Raito said, bringing back everyone's attention. "I'm fine, just, L, promise you won't test the notebook."

"What makes you think I am going to test the notebook?"

"You always test it. Rem will protect Misa and kill you. That's all my fault, I know, but I can't change it, I've tried."

"How?"

Soichiro had enough. "L! Stop indulging him. He needs rest."

"No. I am going into the room. Everyone please take the rest of the day off and exit the building. Watari will have your paychecks at the door to pick up. Thank you." Everyone gasped with rage and argued, yet L of course won in the end. It was his building after all and Raito protested against his father's wish of going home. Of course, L knew that outcome before he ever spoke.

L took a deep breath before opening the door. He didn't know what kind of game Raito was playing, but he was very much irritated, and curious all together. Raito's personality was that of when he was detained. His personality had suddenly switched, confusing everyone. Was this another trick of the Death Note that he had no information about?

Damn you Raito. You are one step ahead, but I will catch up.

L walked to the chair, slipping his fingers under Raito's blind fold, careful of his eyes, then pulled it off. Raito blinked fiercely against the strong light and looked at L, gazing into those dark eyes as best he could. He didn't know if he would ever have the chance again.

"Raito, do you honestly expect me to believe you? Right before I am going to test the notebook? I don't know how you knew but that is not the point. You are creating a distraction it seems. Perhaps you know what we will find after we test it. Perhaps it proves your guilt."

"I already told you! I am Kira! I found the Death Note when I was seventeen. I killed Lind. L. Taylor. I killed them all. I tricked Misa and I deceived you. Just believe me already!"

"I believe you."

"You do?!"

"Yes, I believe you are Kira. Tell me, how do you know Mello and Matt?"

Raito's eyes dropped hearing the names. Guilt swept through. Except for Near. He could never force himself to feel anything at all for Near."Mello and Near are your successors. Near takes your place. Matt is Mello's friend. I think they're all from Wammy's."

WAMMY'S??

And Near as well??

Raito chuckled gently at L's expression of shock and almost pure terror. He seemed to be sweating a river. Raito frowned. He wanted to reach up and touch his face to tell him, in the end, he would make everything okay. He promised.

"If I untie you, will you remain calm?"

"I wont hurt you, if that's what you're thinking."

L nodded, then stuck his hand in his back pocket for the key. He released Raito from the chains and the straight jacket even though his gut screamed at him not to. "There. More comfortable?"

"Yes. L can I kiss you? For me it's been days since the last time our lips touched and it's killing me."

L looked thoughtful, giving Raito a moment of hope before replying, "No. I want you to tell me the truth. The whole truth. Tell me how you supposedly got here. How, apparently, everyone but you die."

"Please don't make me relive all that."

"It seems you have relived all of it several times over already. Tell me."

Raito felt like he was headed back into that same relentless circle he and L always traveled on. He'd tell about the time note,but L wouldn't believe him. However this time, L's eyes were eager, and seemed to be begging him.

"I was bored." He stated matter of factly. "There's nowhere else to begin but there."

L stated, "Then you will begin there."

Part THREE

"I was bored with my everyday life. Day in and day out, the same news on permanent repeat. That is why I wasn't paying attention to him, the teacher. Instead I was looking through the window's see through glass to the distance a head. I was so bored I couldn't even day dream, but that's when I saw it. The Death Note. It was just laying on the ground with no one around it. I was so curious. When the bell rang, I was the first one out the door. I went over, and picked it up.

A notebook that kills people?

Of course, I didn't believe it at first. I thought it was a sick practical joke... but that notebook has a power that makes anyone want to try it at least once. So I did, just because I was bored. I tested it a second time with a traffic accident, to see if it really was real, and it worked. His name was Takuo Shibuimaru.

Then I threw up. I had just killed two people! I was scared, but then I realized, this is what I have been thinking all along! Somebody has to do this! No, I was the only one who could. I understood that killing people was a crime, but there was no other way, the world had to be fixed.

I decided, I was going to use the notebook, to change the world, and I was going to make the world know I was there. That someone was passing righteous judgment on them. I thought nobody would commit crimes anymore, that the world would become a better place. While people who obviously deserve to be punished would be dying of heart attacks, I'd gradually be killing off immoral people and people who harass others through illness and accidents. No way it would go unnoticed. And me, a straight-A student, a model teenager, would reign over the new world."

During the past fifteen minutes, L had sat down on the floor in his usual position, with his thumb pressing his top lip further up. His eyes never once leaving Raito's.

He began to slowly laugh. Raito couldn't remember ever hearing L laugh before. It was unnerving.

"Raito...thinking like that, will make you the only criminal left."

Raito smiled at the comment. "That's very close to what Ryuk sad when I told him."

"I'm sorry for interrupting. Do continue."

"You know most of the rest. You came to Japan. I killed Lind L. Taylor. I met Misa, who was only a nuisance. The second Kira was only her way of meeting me. I made every move just to keep from getting caught. I lost sight of my goal. Rey Penber, Naomi Misora, Higuchi... all of it was only to keep from getting caught. Rey and Naomi, they were completely innocent. I regret their deaths very much."

"As do I. Naomi was a top investigator. She helped me to catch the most brutal serial killer next to you and the American killer John Wayne Gacey. Her future was just as bright as yours."

Raito frowned. "I'm so sorry. But she was going to tell you."

L was not ready to forgive yet. "Carry on with your story." He said apathetically.

Raito felt hurt. He wanted to hear that he could let go of his guilt.

"I guess...I'll go from when you die. You wanted to test the notebook. You set everything up, but before you could, Rem wrote your name in her death note to protect Misa. I knew Rem would be willing to sacrifice her life to protect Misa. And she did." Raito's eyes began to water as he remembered everything. The original death. "At, at the time... I didn't care that you died. I was glad. You dropped your spoon and, you fell from your chair. I caught you and held you tight, screaming fake screams of a concerned best friend. As you stared at me, knowing I was Kira, knowing that you had lost...I smirked. Me...smirking at your death, was the last thing you ever saw."

L watched with curiosity as Raito's cheek began to glisten with tears. If L had been a normal person, he probably would have felt horrible for Raito. But parts of him still didn't trust him. He didn't believe all of this. Not all anyway.

Raito softly, in almost a whisper, began to continue, "For the next six years I took your place as L. I had your seat, and the taskforce believed every word I said. I even had my own show. Kira's Kingdom. My own show L. I killed you, the great L and I was God. Truly, God.

But then Sayu was kidnapped, and we were forced to give up the notebook to Mello. My father died sometime later after he stormed Mello's hide out and got the notebook back. I tried to get him to write Mello's real name but he wouldn't, and he died. Right there. I cried...but they weren't real tears. After that it seems everything snow balled. Near suspected me as Kira and I brought in Takada and Mikami to help me. But then Aizawa betrayed me. He tricked me and told Near of how he suspected me. Mello then decided to kidnap Takada, who was my spokesperson. Matt got shot by her bodyguards. Takada then killed Mello with the Death Note, and I wrote down for Takada to commit suicide."

Raito looked at L. Mello was close to him, so he expected to be hit, punched, kicked, anything. Yet L only starred at him.

"Please, keep going." L whispered, almost inaudible.

"L...I'm so sorry."

"No you aren't. But continue. How does Near die?"

"He doesn't. He becomes your successor after I die."

"You die?"

"Almost..."

"I'd like to hear how that happens. You seem to be in the lead."

"No. Teru Mikami became my down fall."

"Did he betray you?" Raito felt that those words were asked in pleasure, but he couldn't blame L at all for feeling any animosity toward him.

"Near wanted the task force to meet with the Special Provision for Kira, lead by Near. We met in the yellow box. They discovered I was Kira, and Matsuda shot me."

"Matsuda?" L sounded just as shocked as Raito was when it happened. "Are you sure it was a bullet from his gun?"

"Yes. He shot me several times. He was hurt to hear the truth, I can't really blame him."

"I see. And then what?"

"I ran. Like hell. I ran until I came upon an abandoned building. I crawled up the steps, and...I, I, laid down exhausted. I was so tired and, I knew it was the end. I could barely see, and my body was shivering but slick with sweat. I could smell all the blood pouring out of my wounds and yet, I didn't want to let go of life. Not yet. One more minute I whispered to Ryuk. One more minute."

L was completely entranced by then. He asked gently, honestly wanting to know, "Did Ryuk give you one more minute?"

"He gave me a whole new notebook."

"I don't understand. How would another Death Note help you? Killing Near or the others wouldn't keep you alive."

"No. You're right L. A Death Note wouldn't, but a Time Note would.

I lay motionless on those steps, minus the barely noticeable rising of my chest. I was barely breathing. It was a struggle to take in every breath and it set my lungs on fire. My body was painfully and slowly beginning to numb, and my eyes were closing, when something hit my chest with a thump, followed by Ryuk's familiar laugh. I hadn't the strength to sit up, but I managed to open my eyes further."

"You're dieing Raito." Ryuk had said. "You might want to force yourself to look at that."

Dieing.

The word alone was the world's grandest motivator. It took every last drop of energy flowing through out my veins to move my arms. I lifted the notebook and sat up the best I could, gasping in horrible pain. It was a bright shade of white that forced me to squint my eyes. The words 'Time Note' danced along the front cover in gold, cursive, English letters.

It gave me hope. Hope for my Godhood, hope for a new, better world. I managed a smile, or mostly, a smirk. A new sudden strength burst alive inside of me and, I forced my self to sit up completely. I looked at Ryuk's shinnigami face, as if to beg for an answer to my prayer, but all he said was, "This has been too much fun to let you die now. It would be a waste really. Besides I want to get some more juicy apples."

"Thank you Ryuk." Were the only words I could form on my dry lips.

"Go on. Write a date. That's all you have to do. That and picture the place. The more specific the date, the more accurate your destination. You can go into the future, but you risk not having the Time Note with you when you do that. No one can foresee what hasn't been. But other than that, all the same rules apply."

"So the name and face, are replaced with a date and place? That's perfect. More than perfect." I thought I had won again.

I had more than enough strength in me then to write a date. I dug my finger into a bullet wouond on my side, twisting the finger and screaming in pain, but when I pulled my finger out and began writing, I was like a whole new man, regenerated and ready to fight, but I never stopped to think anything through."

Part FOUR

L sucked in a breath of air too sharply, hurting his chest. A Time Note? "You used it to time travel right back to today's date? Why?"

"No. Not at first." Feeling regret, Raito closed his eyes wishing that he had of. If only he had of. "What I did, was travel an hour backwards. I tried to face Near again. No matter what I always failed. Matt always ended up shot. Misa always jumped off that stupid bridge or, sometimes, she'd slit her wrists. Sometimes Mello would be the one in the yellow box and not Near. Sometimes my father would live long enough to see the yellow box and to watch Aizawa help hand me to Near. A few times Misa got pregnant when I tried to fix things with her, but nothing changed my own ending. I was always running back to those same set of steps in an abandoned building. Always defeated, always hurt, always losing."

L waited a moment before he asked his next question. Raito seemed to be in his own world as he starred at his hands as if they were the most fascinating thing in the world. L decided to stretch his legs out. They seemed to be going numb from sitting there for so long.

Finally, Raito began again before L could question him, "The only for certainty were three things. I would always lose. You would always die. And Ryuk would always give me the Time Note just before my end."

"Why did you bother to try to save Matt? You don't know him. Or Mello. And I thought you didn't care for Misa."

Raito laughed. "After trying to outwit them all, and watching them die, I came to respect Mello in some strange way. We we're the same. We failed every time no matter what , and I knew he knew how I felt, because I knew how he felt. I wanted him to be my rival in place of Near. So I went back, and when he stood in that yellow box with everyone, the sound of the fan echoing around us, I found he was worse than Near. He allowed his emotions to run over him and...well, I saw myself even more in him. He sounded just as crazy with victory as I had when I thought I beat Near that first time. I had to save him, or at least try."

L could almost believe that entirety about Mello and his emotions getting the best of him, but crazy? "What of Matt?"

"Mail Jeevas, you mean?"

L's eyes widened. Good God...how?

Raito was pleased with himself. " I kept trying to save Matt because out of everything, he just wanted to work beside Mello. He only wanted Mello to see that he was useful to him like Misa was to me. I guess, not only did he have my sympathy, but he made me realize what I'd done to her. I ruined the person she could have been." Raito paused to wipe at his eyes again. Everything was hurting. Sitting next to L was excruciating pain, and yet, overly intoxicating. He couldn't understand how he could keep breathing when in the presence of L, someone so incredibly amazing.

Raito licked his lips, and kept going. Thoughts like those wouldn't help anything.

"For every person I kept from dieing, another would take their place. If Misa lived, Matt died. If Mello lived Misa lost the baby and eventually killed herself. I couldn't stop everything. Mikami went crazy and attempted to kill Takada after I saved her. It was all so useless. I began to give up. I laid on the steps another time, worn out and crying for a real God to come and save me, to come and undo every sin. I begged him to wipe away the blood...make it stop hurting...but L...I don't think there is a God. Not me. Not anyone."

Raito broke down, his body shaking with tears and a feeling of hopeless defeat engulfed him. Was this why he was born, he asked himself, to die inside over and over again for all those that he killed? It hurt, but he could not say he didn't deserve it.

"How did you come to fall in love with me?" L asked solemnly.

That sentenced froze Raito. He struggled, but the words barely came out, "Do you really want to know, L?"

"Yes."

"So you believe me then? Really?"

"I'm wondering, if you were so concerned with saving me, why not go back and never pick up the Death Note?"

"Because then we never would have met."

"I see. Simple enough. Please, do finish."

"L...could you promise, if I tell you, you will believe everything I say? That you won't test the Death Note, that you'll keep me locked up, and you'll be a closer mentor to your successors? Maybe you could let Misa go and let her live a normal life, it might solve everything."

L was not one for promises. He was mostly a liar. Raito should know that by now. "I will do my best to believe you, but there will be no promises."

"I guess that is more than I can ask for really. I must sound pretty strange to you. Telling you about people dieing and morphing through time."

"Just finish the story, Raito. You have been talking all night, the sun will rise in an hour, and the task force will be returning."

"Oh...right. Well, as I laid on the steps, crying out for a God that I knew damn well didn't exist, at least not anymore, all I could hear was Ryuk laughing maniacally. He had been following me as I jumped from time frame to time frame, and he was getting more entertained with every new failure. I had decided to lay there and let my body die. My living did no good for anyone and I realized I just didn't give a damn about any one of them anymore. They couldn't be saved. What more could I do? But then I saw you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. In front of me, looking at me. You were there every other time before but I didn't pay too much attention. With so much blood lost, I assumed I was hallucinating, although maybe I was. But anyways, you were the answer. You were where I went wrong. So I wrote the date of your death down. I came to you in confession, and, the only thing you did was try to execute me."

Raito laughed. "I suppose I should have known you'd do something like that. But, I didn't want to die. So I kept trying different ways to tell you without you attempting to arrest me. I finally gave up. I just wrote a random date down, just to keep traveling as I tried to think of a plan. I ended up back to our first night without the chain.

You were sitting next to me typing away on your computer trying to find that missing puzzle to your case. I just watched you, and I came to realize that all this time together I never really stopped to look at you. At that moment I took you all in and I have to admit, you are very beautiful L. Very beautiful. Anyone who says otherwise just doesn't know you.

Anyways, I honestly began feeling guilty about your death for the very first time. I went out on the roof top and I thought, just jump. No one would miss you. No one would try to save you, and the perk was I could stop hurting finally. It seemed like a perfectly good plan to me. I kicked off my shoes and stepped onto the railing. I remember the wind blowing my hair all around my face and gazing at the people and the cars down below. They looked like little specks and that's what I wanted to be. I just, at the time, didn't know that I already was one.

But I took a quick breath, and prayed. I didn't believe there was a God but I thought if by a slim chance there was one, he might could have mercy on my soul.

"Please." I said aloud. "God, if there is a God...forgive me. Maybe you could, watch over Sayu and my Dad, maybe L too. Oh and my mom, she never hurt anyone. And Misa she's, well, just confused."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." It was you L. I heard your footsteps coming up close behind me. "That is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

"What do you know about it, L? You don't know what I've been through."

"I don't have to in order to know that Raito is being ridiculous. Have I perhaps put too much stress on you?"

"Stress? No. You've done nothing wrong L. It's me. I've done it."

"What have you done?"

"Ruined the world."

"I doubt one young man can claim such a title for himself."

I laughed. "You don't know the half of it."

"Tell me all of it, and I'm sure we will find a million and one reasons to keep on living." You said, holding out your hand. It made me want to cry to see that image of you. You with your hand stretched out, trying to pull me back from the edge and thinking that I was you first ever friend. It tore my heart out the way your eyes laid on me as if to see through to my soul.

I know it's weird. It almost sounds like a made up lie but, I found my reasons in that moment. My million and one reasons to keep on living. I wanted you to look at me like that forever. You never looked at me before. At least not without sizing me up and trying to detect all of my lies. I wanted your eyes on me, and only me. The thought of it made my skin crawl with heat."

Part FIVE

"That night in our room we were alone and you asked me to write a list of why I should live. I thought of no other reason but your black, sparkling eyes, and that's what I wrote down. Nervously I awaited your reaction. I thought you would be angry but, you kissed me instead, exploding an electric wave of heat from my lips to my toes. You allowed my to crawl on top, exciting me as I laid my body against yours. Our chests rose as we breathed in one another's scents, pressing together and making me moan as your lips met mine again in a moment of fireworks. Your tongue rolled over mine, wet and warm, exploring every crevice, while with your left hand you lifted my shirt up and over my head, exposing my bare tanned chest to your eager eyes.

That night was so wonderfully painful that for an instant I believed that you were torturing me one purpose. I couldn't hardly stand it. It was all too much too fast, but you were perfectly experianced, coaxing me with sweet, gently butterfly kisses all over my face.

Soon I came not to care if my screams were heard around the world. I loved you. Kira loved L. I wanted them to know. And everything else be damned.

We moved together in the dark room, pushing and pulling and working together to reach our goal, neither of us leaving the other behind. We drew closer, and my mody began to sweat and twitch. You attacked my mouth violently, causing me to nearly choke on your candy sweet tongue, and gasp loudly as your teeth came down on my own. My mouth filled quickly with the metallic taste of blood but I barely noticed. How could I when your hands were running through my sweat matted hair, an my body began shaking intensly, thrusting back against you uncontrollably as my walls tightened on you, locking you in, for what I hoped would be forever.

I dont want to lose you. You made me feel human again after so many years of feeling like a numb, empty shell.

As I starred deeply into your eyes, I wanted to say something in that moment, but neither of us could barely move, let alone breath. We were exhausted, and panting heavily as our lips pulled apart and my tongue began to throb. I rolled over onto your slick body pulling you against me in an embrace full of all my strength. That's when I made up my mind. It would be my plan. Save you. Save the man who could save the word. The man I knew I had fallen inlove with. I vowed to my family and all the lives ruined by my hands, that I will keep you alive. No matter what the outcome for me or anyone else may be, you will not die again."

Raito finished with closing his eyes, and laying his hand on top of L's, who didn't try to move away. The story was most likely lies, but Raito obviously believed them. He was beginning to cry again, and L wanted to hold him as a friend should, telling him everything would be okay.

Watari's voice came over the speaker. "L we need to speak."

"Certainly Watari." L stood, brushing his pants legs off.

Raito began to panic when he realized that L was going to leave. "No L don't! Please, don't leave. Do you believe me? This time do you believe me?" He begged, grabbing onto L's pants leg.

"Let go Raito." He swatted the boy's hand away and left, leaving Raito alone in the solitary room.

Part SIX

L sat in his usual position next to Watari in his office, swinging back and forth in his chair and sucking slowly on a sucker.

"L?" Watari carefully asked. "Do you believe Kira is controlling him?"

"It's possible. But, I don't think so. Too much detail would need to be written down in a notebook for Raito to recall incidents that never happened. This could all be lies, but for what purpose? What would he gain by making me believe this? I don't understand."

"I do believe that is the first time in your life, that I ever heard you say, 'I don't understand'."

L smiled at Watari knowing it was true. "Raito is the best to rival against me. However, I do not trust him as far as I could throw him. I will ask that he show proof. If he has an item such as a 'Time Note', we can cross reference the dates, however I know that he will not be able to produce such an item."

"Of course not, I would have found such an item when I chained him. I went through his pockets."

"Of course you would Watari...however..."

"However...?"

"It is possible..."

Watari frowned looking at the boy he had begun to think of as a son. The last thing he wanted was to see L's heart tricked by some petty teenager with an intent to kill. "What is possible?"

"That, I could fall for him. Loving Raito, would not be so far fetched. Look at him laying on the floor in there. He is beautiful Watari. Honey eyes, auburn hair, and a high IQ. It is almost as if I dreamed him into life. When I first laid eyes on Soichiro's son, that was my initial thought."

"L do not be fooled. This could be his gain. If you were to produce feelings for this boy, he would become your weakness and ultimately, your down fall."

"Don't I know it." L said in thought, now starring at the boy in the room. "Watari, I could love him. I know I could."

"Yes, but could he love you? You said yourself that Yagami Raito was nothing but a spoiled, cold blooded, mass murderer."

"I know what I said."

"Then don't give me that longing look."

"I'm not giving you any look."

*()*()*()*

Back in the room, Raito laid on the floor on his side, bangs dangling in his eyes. He was tired, needing sleep, but he refused to close his eyes. "Please." He whispered, hoping L could see him. "Please, this time, believe me."

Ryuk chuckled from across the room. "I think your in another circle Raito. Looks like you'll have to write another date, but I'm getting a little tired of all this. It's like watching reruns all day."

"It's just until he believes me. Then do whatever you want. I can't let him die."

Shaking his head, Ryuk stated, "You know Raito, every human without exception, will eventually die. Just because you save him today, doesn't mean he won't die tomorrow."

"Don't I know that?! But I cant let it be by my hands. Not by me. Not today."

"Whatever you say, kid. But this is getting dull. I'm starting to get bored. Besides, I only agreed to wait until he heard your whole story. Now that he has, I'm ready to go back to the Shinigami realm. I got an itch to play some poker with the guys."

*()*()*()*

Watari shook his head furiously. "Even so, that boy is a killer. You said so yourself."

"Yes, I won't, nor can I, deny that. The evidence is everything, but what if he is Watari? What if he is being controlled? Or what if he has time traveled?"

"So what?" Watari snapped back so harshly that L's breath was taken away in pure shock. "If he has ,does that exonerate him from what he has done? Does that erase the blood on his hands?"

Before L could search inside for an answer, a strange noise came from the security camera, catching both men's attention quickly. As they turned to the camera in Raito's room, they found the teen on the floor as before, but now he was arching his back and clutching his chest as if he were having a heart attack. L's breath quickened. He shot out of his chair slinging it backwards into Watari's knee as he took off running towards Raito's room.

It took him several seconds to unlock the door, but when it finally gave way he slung it open, causing it to slam against the wall with a loud band. L ran to Raito dropping to his knees beside the boy and pulling him into his arms.

"Raito? Raito?!"

"Law..Lawliet..."

"Look at me. Look at me Raito. Don't close your eyes. Look at me."

"It, it's under my...sh,shirt.."

"Shh, keep looking at me. Don't close your eyes. Watari! Call an ambulance!"

L brought Raito's soft, small frame against his own body, yelling for Watari, who knew it was already too late as he watched L's eyes tear, and Raito's hand wipe away what was glistening down L's cheeks.

"Law-"

"Shh, don't try to talk now. Lay still. Watari is-"

"I, I hear the bell....Don't you hear it...Law, Lawliet?"

"I, I dont hear anything." L voice came out hoarse and strangled against the tears he was trying to fight against. He pulled back, but when he gazed into the boy's eyes, he was gone. L's own body began to shake as he crushed Raito's motionless body further against himself, rocking him, until he felt it.

Something hard underneath Raito's shirt.

L untucked and lifted the boy's shirt to reveal a small, white, pocket sized notebook placed between Raito's abdomen and pants. As L removed it, he noted how much smaller it was compared to the Death Note, and how the words 'Time Note' were written in perfect gold lettering just as Raito described.

In his ears, L heard his own voice in a whisper, begging for one more minute, just one, but the sound of Ryuk's laughter, echoing between the walls, was the only response he received.

-THE END-

Author Note: Again, thes sequel is now up! It's tittled, "The Second Hand Unwinds"