A/N: REPOST! Hey this is just my attempt at a John/Jennifer one-shot if its crap sorry but my computer was in the shop for a month and I got bored to I started writing crap. Note this fic is set during Outcast and the almost kiss in Quarantine never happened! This fic is for Cindy Ryan who got me hooked on John and Jennifer fics.

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! I do wish I owned Joe Flanigan, damn that man is fine!

We have been keeping our relationship hidden from everyone, even his team had no idea, it was not as if we were ashamed of our relationship but me being the CMO and him being the Military leader here on Atlantis it was a tricky situation. The first thing I wanted to do when I heard the news was to run to him, comfort him, help him grieve but I knew I couldn't without making everyone suspicious and it was driving me crazy not being able to.

"Jennifer?" Marie called, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I looked over at her, "Yes?" I asked.

She looked at me with a concerned expression, "Are you alright? You keep zoning off, it's really unlike you." She commented.

I gave her to best smile I could, "Umm I'm fine, just a little distracted." I told her, I need to focus more; I'm the CMO for God sake I need to be at the top of my game.

Marie nodded, "Ok, Ronon just came in, he needs stitches; sparing injury I suspect." She explained.

Ronon, God, I see him in here every two days or so for stitches or some other sparing related injury; the man really need to get a less violent hobby. "Ok thanks, Marie."

I walked out of my office and into the main exam area and spotted Ronon sitting one of the beds. "Hey." I smiled at him.

He looked up and be and nodded, "Hey, how are you doing?" he asked me; he didn't talk to many people and I was happy to be one of the few he did talk to.

I couldn't help but laugh, "You're asking me if I'm ok and you're the one that needs to get stitches?" I asked still laughing.

Ronon shrugged, "You look worried; besides me getting stitches is an everyday thing." he said as I began to clean his wound.

I finished cleaning the wound, "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" I asked as I began to stitch him up.

He was silent for a moment before leaning closer and speaking softly, "I know." was all he said.

I looked at him puzzled, "Know what?" I asked pulling a stitch through.

He looked around before speaking "I know about you and Sheppard."

I gasped dropping the needle and thread. "What? How?" I asked quickly.

"A few weeks ago I was running and ended up in the East tower and saw to people on the balcony and went to check it out, I was you and Sheppard in an intimate embrace, I figured you two were keeping it quite." He explained.

I picked up the needle again and finished stitching his wound before I spoke again. "You're not going to tell anyone right?" I asked softly.

He shook his big head. "Don't worry doc, your secret is safe with me. I just wanted you to know that he's doing alright and that he was given the day off, so he's in his room." He stood and began to leave.

"Ronon!" I called after him; he stopped and turned back toward me. "Thanks!" And I was damn thankful.

He nodded and smiled before leaving.

After my conversation with Ronon the last few hours of my shift seemed to drag by but three hours later I was leaving the infirmary and rushing to John's room, hoping to get there unseen. I finally came to his door, I checked to see if anyone was there before hitting his door chime. The door opened a second later and John was in front of me.

"God, I was hoping you would come." He said pulling me in to his room.

I through my arms around him, "There's no were else I would be. How are you doing?" I asked as I breathed in his sent, he smelled the same as he always did like sandalwood and sweat.

He shook his head, "I don't know, he was my dad but I don't think it's really sunk in yet." He said into my neck.

I nodded, "God, John I wish there was something I could do to make this better." I said pulling back from our embrace.

"Jen just you being here is enough." He pulled me to his bed before sitting down and pulling me on to his lap.

We sat there in silent for a few minutes just holding each other, before I felt John's lips on my neck.

"John what are you doing?" I asked, wondering how he can even think about anything remotely sexual at a time like this.

"I just want to forget for a little while, can we just forget?" He asked sounding so broken.

I nodded, "We can forget for a while." I turned and kissed him softly but the kiss didn't stay soft and gentle for long, John's mouth was hard and demanding on mine, he kissed me with a passion and forcefulness before I knew what happened I was on my back under him. He pulled away from our feverish kiss, breathing hard, before moving his lips to my neck, he began to kiss, suck and bite roughly on my delicate skin. I moaned out half in pleasure and half in pain; he had never been like this before so aggressive and rough.

"Awe!" I cried out as he bit me particularly hard, near the base of my neck.

John pulled back from my neck and rested his forehead against mine. "Did I hurt you?" He asked his voice husky and deep, eyes dark with lust and something else I couldn't not place.

I slipped my hands under his shirt and rubbed his back and chest, "Just a little but its ok John." I told him tugging his shirt over his head.

"I'm sorry baby." He said softly leaning down and licking the spot he had bit in an attempt to sooth it.

Within moments John's tenderness was once again replaced be roughness, he quickly stripped me of my shirt and bra throwing them to the floor along with his own shirt. His lips were on my breasts and were biting and licking at them causing me to arch in pleasured-pain, my nails racked across his back; they would surly leave marks, as I moaned. John pulled away again and stood up and stripped himself of his pants and boxers, he stood fully erect. I followed his lead and removed my pants and letting them fall to the floor joining the rest of our cloths, excluding my panties which I was still wearing.

"So fuckin' sexy." John seemed to growl out.

I sat up and pulled him closer to me, I was never that fond of oral sex, I always thought it was kind of dirty whether it was being given or received, but tonight was about John and so I would do it this once for him. I rubbed his penis with my hand it was hard under my fingers, I slid my hand to the base as he moaned before leaning forward and taking the head into my mouth.

John's hands found their way in to my hair, "Oh god, Jen' yes!" his hips jerked forward letting more of his manhood into my mouth.

I continued to bob back and forth as I sucked his length, I rolled my tongue around him and he moaned, his hips jerking again. I grew more confiding and began to tighten my lips around him and brought my other hand up and stroked his balls; John's hands twisted in my hair almost painfully.

"Ugh...no more!" He yelled releasing my hair before shoving me back onto the bed.

He reached for my white panties and literally ripped them off. "Hey those were my under..."

I was never able to finish my sentence because before I knew what happened John was in me, in once harsh thrust he was sheathed within me. My nails quickly dug in to his back as he began to thrust in and out of me harshly, his pace was erratic and gave me no time to adjust to having him inside of me.

"John!" I screamed as he once again bit my poor neck.

"Mmm, yes love it when you scream my name." He moaned in to my neck, his breath warm.

John no longer sounded like himself, he didn't sound like my John; my nails dug further in to his back. I came to a realization John, my John was hurting me.

"John stop, please stop!" I begged, I never thought that I would have to utter these words to John.

He did stop, he stopped and looked at me, his hand came up to the side of my face wiping away a tear that I don't even remember shedding. "Oh god, oh god I hurt you." He was off of me and the bed before I could blink he was across the room standing by his desk looking broken and ashamed.

I sat up wincing slightly, "John its ok." I told him, he's hurting the pain and anger of losing his father had come out in our love making.

He shook his head, "No it's not." He looked me over. "I hurt you, made you bleed." His voice was full of pain and regret.

"John I'm fine," I touched my neck, "See no blood." I stood walking over to him; he backed away until he hit the wall.

He shook his head and sank to the ground. "You're bleeding just not from your neck." he informed me.

"Oh..." I understood now, he never meant to hurt me so a little blood was not going to make me go anywhere, I sank down in front of him. "It doesn't matter John. I'm ok."

"I didn't want to hurt you, I just wanted to forget." He said as tears made their way down his face.

"Oh John." I pulled him in to my arms and held him as he cried. "It's going to be ok, I've got you now, and you're going to be fine.

The End

Please R&R