Chapter 7 - Rose III

Rose spends long hours as she muses about the change in Severus's attitude towards her. She is sure that the Slytherin in him wants to know everything she knows, but she also hopes, that maybe he doesn't really hate her. It seems that there was a little bit of remorse in him and she clings to this hope.

It takes her a long time to prepare herself. She takes a shower and uses a Sleek Easy spell as well as a Super Shine conditioner on her hair. She uses a bit of gold dust glitter on her skin to give it a subtle glow. She paints her lips red, turning her lips into the perfect shape, and she uses a little bit of mascara. Then she puts on a red, knee high, sleeveless dress with a tiny black flower pattern. The dress shows a bit of cleavage, has a big bow on the back as well as corset laces that go up the back. Rose also wears a pearl necklace, earrings, and a bracelet. It makes her feel older and very feminine.

She sworn to never show any weakness in the presence of Severus and her appearance is making her more confident than ever.

She smiles at the sight of Severus.

"Hello Severus. It's nice to see you again."

"Likewise Rose," he says and looks at her. For the first time he looks at her like she wasn't something dirty.

She is afraid to go all fangirly over him. He is her hero from books, her fantasy in flesh and bone.

His voice disturbs her musings. She also realizes that she was staring at him all that time.

"Would you tell me about yourself? I have no idea who you really are."

His voice is like music, but she doesn't know what to say. How to say anything without revealing too much. She knows that meddling with time can have terrible consequences. There is a precipice between them, it's a forty year gap.

"I'm Rose Weasley, I am a Gryffindor, but you probably know this. I have a little brother named Hugo. I love Potions, but I'm best at Defence Against the Dark Arts. "

She's painfully aware of how lame it sounds. Like she was reciting memorised homework. She's not surprised when she sees a flash of anger that crosses Severus' handsome features.

"What year is it in your time? Who are your parents? Why am I so famous that you have books about me?"

He shots questions at her and advances her. There is something threatening in him again, but Rose remembers what her father told her about Severus. He was terrifying when he was a teacher and that had to start somewhere. Probably during his youth.

"There is more than one generation between us, Severus. You are famous because you did a lot of good things. You played a major part in saving my world and many say that you're the bravest man in the Wizarding World. I'm sorry, I can't tell you more. I'm afraid, that if you make different choices in your life, I might cease to exist."

For the first time Severus seems speechless. It must be a lot for a poor, bullied Slytherin boy who loves Dark Arts to know that he is a hero in the future. She wants to believe that she knows how he feels. Rose extends her hand to touch him, but stops herself.

She almost feels time slowing down.

"You have to tell me what to do!" he snaps at her, but Rose is determined to hold her ground.

Rose feels defiant; she wants to shout at him, but knows that it would end their meeting, because his wounded ego wouldn't let him meet her again. He did it with Lily, and he loved Lily. Rose is no more than a bystander, so she fights to calm herself.

"I can be someone you can talk to, someone who will never betray you, and someone who might help you in a limited way, but I can't decide for you."

Her words seem to shatter against a solid wall that Severus had built around himself a long time ago. But it also may be a part of his act, because somehow, he likes her being on the verge of tears. Maybe he makes up this way for the miserable life he had. Rose understands. She is patient and compassionate. She tries a different approach.

"If I told you what you did in my books, you would accuse me of being the worst advisor. Otherwise, my advice could have terrible consequences. I am terribly sorry, Severus. Because all I want is to make your life better, I want to help you, but I can't do it the way you want it."

Her acting as a confident, feminine individual seems to be useless. There is nothing she can do for him and nothing that would keep him coming to the Room of Requirement. She has nothing of value to offer him.

Rose feels like all of the vibrant energy she had before is gone. She leans against the bookshelf behind her and slides down against it until she's seated on the ground. She is past caring what he thinks when she feels hot tears. So much for the fantasy; this is reality.

Severus is silent, but she doesn't want to look at him. She might see loathing and it's not what she wants to remember as the last sight of him.

"What did you like in me in the first place? Why did you want to meet me?"

His question is unexpected. She thought that he had left by now. She sniffs loudly and gently wipes her tears, careful to not smear the mascara. She looks at his shoes.

"I liked you wit, your intelligence. Your bravery and the fact that you could act like someone different for a long time. How you had your own agenda. You never broke your promises. And I liked your appearance. While everybody said how unattractive you looked, it was the opposite for me. I never minded your hair, I loved your nose, your black eyes that seemed to look through the soul. I loved your hands with thin, long fingers. Hands of an artist, which you were. Master of Potions. I wanted to know you personally. The books were not enough anymore."

He crouches to her level and she looks at his face through her hair.

"Do you feel disappointed?"

She feels more tears coming. "Yes. I do. I'm sorry to be such a pathetic excuse for a girl that you don't want to know anymore. I'm sorry to be ugly and to be no Lily. I imagined in my stupid head that you would want to spend your time with me. I thought that I could bring a little sunshine to your dark world."

"Don't go into self loathing; that's my domain," he says with...amusement? Is this a joke on his part?

She pushes the hair out of her face and looks at him. "But I do not regret that I met you," she says and smiles.

Many thanks to Artemis J. Halk for beat reading this chapter :) Yellow, this chapter is written for you :)