Disclaimer: Just like everybody else posting on ff. net, I do not own the copyrights of either Harry Potter or Ironman. What I do own is an imagination and a laptop.

Summary: Harry was born a hermaphrodite but kept it a secret. He used his alternative identity as a woman to escape the nosy British wizards and settles in the States. There he met a handsome young genius who even though a complete womanizer and a snob manages to capture Harry's attention. And vice versa.

Universe&Timeline: Follows HP books, set after DH; Follows IM movies, set a few years before the IM1 plot.

Main pairing: Harry(Helena)/Tony

A/N: I watched ironman with my best friend one day and since I'm a total uke/bottom!Harry fan I couldn't help but let my mind wonder. I was so disappointed to find no stories with this pairing. Some Tony-adopts-Harry stories, yes, but no slashy goodness. So I decided to make one myself. Though kinda-slash-kinda-not because Harry's not really a boy in this story. Could've made one with Harry staying completely male, but it just seems weird with Tony being such a skirt-chaser. Slight spoiler: Harry will definitely rein him in. No cheating on Mr. Stark's part. :D

PS: This story does not have a beta reader.

PPS: First chapter out either today or tomorrow (incase you missed, this is prologue).

Posted: 13.02.10

Everyone has secrets. Some small… some not so small. And some are so big it defines the very person. Harry James Potter has one such secret. The only other ones who knew were his aunt and his school nurse madam Pomfrey but Harry had her sworn to secrecy so tight even an Imperious wouldn't get her to spill.

Harry sometimes thought about his parents. He didn't remember them. Not really. But he did know one thing about them. One thing no one but him knew. Or at least thought he did until his 17th birthday. Harry was absolutely certain that his parents had wanted a boy more than they wanted a girl. Why? Because the Potters had a rare opportunity to choose. You see, Harry wasn't really born a boy. Not a girl either. He was born both. A hermaphrodite.

But that belief about his parents was pushed over when he turned seventeen.

Seventeen- the age when British wizards and witches are considered adults: have voting rights and are allowed to use magic outside of school. And on the morning after that birthday Harry received official looking summons from Gringotts the wizard bank. The summons were only to Harry, but since his paranoid-from-the-beginning-of-a-war friends and allies were… well, paranoid- he wasn't allowed to go alone. Even though he had an entire armada on "chaperone duty" to escort him to the bank to see what the hell the goblins wanted, he was able to get privacy to read the sealed part of his parents will. The part left for his eyes only.

That particular letter was the one to push over Harry's beliefs that his parents desired a boy more than a girl. The letter revealed that it did not matter at all. What he found out was that he had two identities. His parent had even created two separate birth certificates. One for Harry James Potter, their wizard son, and the other for Helena Lily Potter, their witch daughter who lived in the muggle world. James and Lily worried that they might die, leaving their son alone with a madman trying to take over the world. So they created a backup plan. Hence why all the documents were on the ready for Harry- or rather Helena- to live comfortably among muggles.

Harry didn't know whether to be upset that his little secret about his parents that only he knew about was false, or to be happy that his parent loved both sides of him equally. Either way he was shocked and silent the entire day. That, of course, resulted his ears ringing from Hermione's bossy nagging about him keeping secrets. The girl always had issues. For a girl who always had her nose in a book, stuffing her head with useless facts, she had an amazingly narrow mind. Not to mention taste.

Harry loved Hermione, she was his friend, but GOD was she annoying! Also Harry, being a closet feminist, did not approve of Hermione's image. The first few years Harry had known her he had been certain she's a dyke. But once it became clear she was not Harry couldn't help but be a little offended. Not that he liked the brainless twittering over clothes and makeup and whatnot from bleached bimbos, but he held firm beliefs that a self respecting girl simply has to take care of herself. Hermione's nails gave Harry the chills, her legs were unshaven (and her eyebrows could've used a trim as well), and her bushy hair didn't flatter her while loose.

Ron wasn't much better. He, like Hermione, was a loyal friend but he had jealousy and temper issues. Not to mention slightly challenged in the tact and intelligence department. Okay slightly is an understatement. He was dirty as well. He more often that not forgot to shower, always left his dirty underwear lying about (heaven bless house-elves!), didn't know any table manners, and was a bit too close in proximity even though Harry constantly reminded him that he liked his privacy.

However Ron was a guy. Even though Harry would never date a guy like him, he was still a male and Harry generally overlooked his flaws. Hermione however, try as he might Harry just couldn't get over her lack of feminine respect.

If Harry was honest with himself the ones he liked best at school were Luna and Neville. He liked Luna's eccentricities, and as weird as she was she always managed to make Harry feel better even if it was not her intention. And Neville… was the sweetest boy Harry had ever met. If it weren't for his lack of confidence Harry thought he might've actually fallen for him. Harry liked Neville so much that he didn't have the heart to do any better in herbology.

When Harry was a child he did well at school. Way better than Dudley. That only earned him extra chores and no food for two days. After that he toned down his school grades until it became habitual. After coming to Hogwarts it took him awhile to realize that the Dursleys didn't give a jack about his magical academics and if a report on his grades were to ever be sent to them they were more likely to burn it than read it. However, it was enough time to see how much comfort Neville took in being the best in herbology, even beating Hermione (which she was still sour about and still puts more effort in herbology even after 6 years), so his mediocre performance stuck.

If anyone were to ask what Harry's favorite class was, they would be looked at oddly and said to: duh, defense against the dark art of course. Isn't it ironic; what everybody takes for granted is a lie. Harry liked his defense classes, but it wasn't his favorite subject. His absolute, unwavering favorite always had been and always will be herbology. Actually Harry was a complete prodigy on the field (pun intended), but as said before, he became fond of Neville and such, mediocrity stayed. Neville didn't need his confidence reduced even further.

What of Harry's other classes though? At first he wasn't sure what to do about his academics, but as he did a bit of research, it became clear what this wondrous world wanted and expected of him. So he gave them what they wanted. Partly because of the Dursleys 'serve and please' policy, and partly because he just didn't feel like dealing with anymore shit than he had to.

Speaking of childhood influences, let's take a small survey at Harry's childhood. Of course Petunia had to know about Harry's gender thing. Well someone had to change Harry's diaper at least sometimes. She kept it hidden from her husband and son though, being too ashamed that her nephew is even more of a freak than he already is in her husband's eyes. So she kept it a stern secret. Not allowing Harry to ever do anything remotely feminine. It was lucky she had no daughter, or else she might've had a stroke if Harry ever got his hands on a doll, or god forbid a magazine! Filled with information about makeup and fashion trends! So Petunia started having weekly trips to hair salons to satisfy her own urges of gossip-filled life-shitters called magazines.

Poor Petunia never would've become a salonholic if she knew what happened at home while she was away. While she was getting her hair prepped with her nose buried in wonderful, soul-healing gossip and Dudley on one his playdates and Vernon at… well that varied on his mood: golf, late lunch, boxing matches, hookers. Harry was did the exact opposite of what Petunia worked so hard to prevent. At a young age Harry learned a little trick to lock and unlock his cupboard under the stairs. The few hours on one day at the end of the week were Harry's personal and only playtime. And his favorite game was in his aunt and uncle's room. Harry was crazy about dressup! He found creative ways to wear his aunt's clothes, ironically always looked cuter in them than the adult woman herself, and if he was in the mood, applied makeup. He played the game often and even though at first he looked like a little clown but as time went by he learned to apply it so that it appeared like a pro cosmetologist had used him for practice.

Once at school there was, like children always, questions what made boys boys and girls girls. Aside the obvious play and wardrobe habits, the truth came out that boys have wee-wees and girls don't. Girls had gi-gis and boys don't. Harry was surprised. Especially when competition between one girl and boy got far enough that they had to show off theirs. Harry was stumped. He was a boy, right? But boys only have wee-wees, so why is it that he seemed to have both? Being five he had no other option but to ask his aunt. That got him a slap on the cheek, a half-hour scolding and a punishment of cleaning the entire attic (which Petunia before was content to just let lay in dust and cobwebs). After that he was told that he was a boy and not to ask questions. Harry didn't believe her.

It wasn't until Harry was nine and better at reading did he finally discover the truth. He was in the library, like he always was when he wanted to get away from his family, which was pretty often. He liked to read though he never borrowed any books, just in case. It was then that he stumbled upon the biology section. Looking through a book of human anatomy he frowned very deeply when he got to the genitalia part. Neither one was him! It was like he was both and neither. Is that why his relatives always called him a freak? Because he was this anomaly? Is this why his aunt never let him be naked in front of anybody but herself?

He frowned and looked through the entire sub category of that book. Finding no answers he looked at another book, and another, and another. He was in a very bad mood and barely skimmed the text and pictures so he almost missed something interesting in one particularly heavy book. Frowning, he opened the book again. Man, woman, hermaphrodite, whatever. He almost shut the book again in frustration until his brain registered the third. Wait, what? Herma-wha? He read the intro saying that in the animal kingdom there are some species, like seahorse or earthworms, that have no male or female but a mixture of the two, called hermaphrodites. And though rare it sometimes happened that a human is also born with two sets of reproduction organs.

GUH-LOO-REE-YAH HALL-LEEH-LOO-YAH! He wasn't a freak at all. He was just a rare happening! Feeling very good about himself he wanted to read more of his newly favorite book. Later that day Harry cooked dinner with a blush and a scrambled brain. At least he didn't need to ask aunt Petunia where babies came from and earn another empty stomach. Now the real question is: does he want to be a mummy or a daddy?

Word count: 1875

Thank you for reading.