Disclaimer: I don't own "Twilight".

Chapter 1: There's No Closing Pandora's Box

Bella's POV

"Hello, love," calls an angelic voice from my window.

My heart is racing wildly in my chest as I simultaneously press the sleep button on my computer and turn to face him. He had left to go hunting earlier in the day with Emmet and I hadn't been expecting him to be back for a few minutes yet. Please, don't let him have seen what I was looking at, I silently pray.

"You look flushed, is everything alright?" Why must he be so observant? I still am not sure how much, if anything, he has seen, and it's causing me to feel very jumpy. Be calm. Be calm. "Oh, I'm fine Edward. You just startled me is all."

Before I know it he's next to me, gazing at me intently with those golden eyes. At first I can only register his sweet breath caressing my face, but then I come fully back to reality and realize that he's quietly speaking to me. "You can always tell me anything, Bella. You're my everything and I'll always take care of you." Okay, now I'm beginning to panic. Did he see the screen? What if Alice had had a vision about me and this? Have I been acting strangely lately? No, I'm definitely reading into what he's saying. Time to distract Edward before he starts trying to mesmerize this out of me.

"I know that Edward and I'd do anything for you as well. I'm feeling kind of tired right now, would you sing me my lullaby?" For effect I fake a yawn. I'm all ready for bed so he just scoops me up and tucks me in. He kisses my forehead and begins to sing softly to me. In that moment I feel almost content. The feeling doesn't last long. Holy crow, I'm freezing. I've grown accustomed to Edward's low temperature, and, as it's a part of him, I love it; this is different though, I'm cold to my very core. I should be used to this, but sometimes it's much worse than others- right now is one such time. "Bella, you're shivering. I'll get you a couple more blankets and make you something hot to drink." With that he lithely slides from the bed and is gone from my room.

In an instant he's back and covering me with blankets. "You're amazing. Thank you. I feel much better with these; I'll skip having anything to drink so I don't have to leave the coziness of this bed to brush my teeth again." That's definitely an acceptable excuse. I know he would bring me hot chocolate and there is no possible way I could drink a cup of that full-calorie stuff that Charlie likes, let alone be able to face the scale after doing so. I can faintly make out his glorious features in the dark and I see the corners of his mouth curve downward. "Bel-," he begins to say my name, but I cut him off with a question that I know will distract him. "Will you ever let me become like you?" Good thing I'm not really expecting an answer tonight, because he just begins singing to me again.

My mind feels foggy and my eyes are fighting to block out the early morning light that's intruding into my room. I don't want to wake up, but Edward is gently rubbing my arm to signal to me that it's time to get ready for school. I manage to fully come around and am in awe of the sight before me. It can't be possible to ever become accustomed to someone as perfect as Edward. "Good morning, beautiful." Inwardly I cringe. Edward must notice how fat I'm looking and be trying to make me feel better. Pretending everything is normal is key though, so I flash him a smile and start to get off of my bed for a 'human moment,' as we call them. My feet never even hit the floor though. After a disorientated second I realize that he has me sitting on his lap. Edward's face is slowly moving towards mine and all that's going through my mind is the fact that I want to cry.

He gives me a quick kiss. Normally I'd try to temp him to overstep his boundaries, but right now I can't escape quickly enough. Things have been different ever since that day, the day when it all came back to me. Well, it's not so much then that I changed actually. It started out so slowly that I didn't even realize what was happening until, all at once, it hit me that I'm just not the same Bella I used to be. Sometimes I ask myself if things would be different right now if I hadn't turned to the feeling of hunger for comfort…for punishment. But I'll never regret doing so- it helps more than it hurts. As true as that is, I'm still dreading one part of my morning ritual and I need to get to it before I can't bring myself to go through with it. "I had better start getting ready or I'll make us both late," I say as I attempt to disentangle myself from Edward's embrace. When he realizes I'm trying to get up he releases his hold on me, a look of hurt in his eyes. I never intended for this to infiltrate every area of my life, but it's hard to act the same when it's not safe to let anyone get too close- even Edward…especially Edward. It takes all of my strength to walk, rather than run, from my room in that moment.

There it sits, so small and yet possessing the power to break me. I gingerly step onto the scale and use my toes to cover the area where the digits are to appear. Slowly I inch them away to display my weight- 96.5 pounds. The same as yesterday, how can this be? I shocked everyone by running the track in gym class- stumbling all the while, though that was no surprise. Not only that, but, by some miracle, I was once again successful in hiding my new eating habits at lunchtime from all of the Cullens. Where did I go wrong? Where? I'm brought out of my reverie by the tears that I feel slowly rolling down my face. Pathetic. At this point I should know better than to get my hopes up.

I mechanically finish the rest of my morning routine and head back to my room to grab my bag. Eggs? Oh no, Edward's cooking me breakfast. Should I pretend I'm feeling under the weather? I'm a terrible liar, despite the fact that my life has become a complete sham, and, so, I push that idea aside. Well, I could use my clumsiness to my advantage for once and "accidentally" knock the plate off of the table. I feel awful just thinking that, but it's the best plan I can come up with right now.

I slowly make my way down the stairs. "Breakfast smells amazing," I say, trying to keep the disgust out of my voice and off of my face. He turns to give me that crooked grin that I love so much and for the briefest of moments I consider having one bite just to keep him happy. No. Nothing will ever get better if I eat. "Bella, are you going to try them?" His beautiful voice cuts into my thoughts and I realize that he has set the plate on the table already. This is going to be tricky, but I can do it. I begin to walk over to the table and just as I reach my place I slip and manage to knock the food onto the floor in the process of trying not to lose my balance. I hope my intent wasn't too obvious. Edward is right by my side, steadying me, which I'm glad for because I couldn't have faked that well enough to remain standing on my own. "Bella, are you alright?" His voice is full of concern. Concern that I don't deserve. "I-I'm fine," my voice trembles due to unshed tears. This guilt may very well consume me.

"I'll clean this up fast and then we'll find you something else to have, how does that sound?" My personal Greek god says to me. "You don't need to do that. I'll take care of it." I know it's a losing battle, for he already has the broom in his hand and is beginning to sweep up the mess I created.

"There. It's as if it never happened," Edward says sweetly to me. "Thank you for doing that. We should probably get going now." To keep him from getting suspicious I grab myself a granola bar before starting on my way out the door. As a precaution against Alice I'm careful to not decide anything for certain, but I still know I'll just throw it out in the girls' bathroom. Edward will never find out. So far so good, my stomach is empty and as of yet no food has been forced upon me. I hope this lucky streak continues.

Author's Note: I have to share that I'm really nervous submitting this, because I'm scared it's completely awful (I've never written just in my free time before). I appreciate you having found my story :).