Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Return of the Body Snatcher

Life returned to some semblance of normalcy in the weeks following the debacle with the Destron Gas, Dr. Raichi, and the Hatchiyack. Well, as close to as what could be considered normal for Goku, Naruto, and company. With the wife of the Earth raised Saiyan rapidly approaching the delivery date of the couple's second child, and the wife of the shinobi early in the pregnancy of their first child, their lives could hardly be classified as normal. At the insistence of Bulma, the only person as stubborn as herself, Chichi temporarily moved her in Capsule Corp for the final months of her pregnancy. She realized she was simply asking too much of herself while being pregnant. The move also motivated by the 'Team Kai' business venture. Chichi jumped at the opportunity to get her husband a well paying job that made use of his only skills. No way would their second son be having an unemployed father as a role model, not on her watch! Officially Team Kai, now consisted of Goku and Naruto as full time workers. Sixteen spent most of his time in nature or at the lookout, Seventeen would come and go as he pleased, and Vegeta...was well, Vegeta. He would only show up for something he found interesting.

With all the resources Capsule Corporation provided, Gohan settled into a nice routine that balanced his studies and his training. The young teen had struck up and odd friendship with Vegeta. The proud Saiyan protested loudly at the boy intruding upon his gravity room. His annoyance quickly dissipated after finding that Gohan boy didn't say much to bother him, nor did he Lord his superior strength over the Saiyan Prince. He simply put his nose to the grind stone and got his work in with no complaints, something Vegeta could respect. Deep down the proud full blooded warrior began to enjoy having his quiet presence there training along beside him, reminding him of his time on the hyperbolic time chamber with his son from the future.

With Gohan was spending the day with his grandfather and Baby Trunks out with his grandparents, the current day was essentially a holiday for the married members of the Z fighters for two first being their wives went shopping. The second being they weren't forced to go with them.

"Hey, what ever happened to your brother?" asked Bulma as woman behind the counter handed her a bracelet to try on. "I haven't seen him around lately."

Eighteen let out a sigh of annoyance, "He's got a steady girlfriend now. Supposedly, she is the woman of his dreams since she's two women in one. Every time he calls talking all this mushy crap it makes me want to puke."

"Does this amazing mystery woman have name?" inquired Chichi as she put on another pair of earrings.

Eighteen shrugged, "Something with an L. I could have sworn he said Lunch, but that couldn't have been right. Lass? Lacey? Lana?"

A stray thought struck Bulma, "Was it Launch by any chance?"

Eighteen nodded, "Yeah Launch, that's it."

Bulma couldn't help but laugh, "It is a small freaking world. Launch used to date Tien before he went off and became a total hermit."

"A girl like Launch, with your brother..." murmured Chichi. "You know, somehow I can see how they fit together."

"Yeah, a bit like her and Naruto." agreed Bulma.

Eighteen rolled her eyes, "I wasn't that obvious."

Bulma grinned, "Ha! The minute he saved you from beating sucked up by Cell, you were on his trail like a blood hound."

"Like you were with Vegeta after they all came back from space?" taunted Chichi.

"You have no room to talk! You staked a claim on Goku when you were twelve!" snapped Bulma.

"And it was good foresight!" declared Chichi.

Eighteen sweat-dropped as the pair delved into another argument, 'I need to find quieter female friends.'

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Back at capsule corp Vegeta, Goku, and Naruto all made use of their free morning by feasting on the glorious breakfast prepared by Bulma's mother before she left.

As he let loose a loud belch to conclude his morning feast, a stray thought struck Goku, "Hey, Naruto? If Eighteen is an Android, how is it possible for her to get pregnant?"

"You do remember that Seventeen and Eighteen started out as humans?" reminded Naruto. "Gero turned them in Androids, so technically they're more like cyborgs."

"You're such a fool, Kakarot." scoffed Vegeta. "Even I knew that."

Goku shrugged, "It was a valid question."

"Only for someone whose lost a million brain cells thanks to his woman's frying pan." retorted Vegeta.

"Living with the pan is a give and take relationship. It gives good food, and takes away brain cells." joked Naruto. "With Chichi's cooking, I'd almost say it's worth it. I wish Eighteen could cook like that."

"Your woman isn't a shrieking harpy." reminded Vegeta. "Bad cooking must be the tradeoff for not having a woman who's an emotional roller coaster."

Goku defended his wife, "Chichi isn't as bad as Bulma. She yells a lot and she can't cook."

"Bulma's super smart and good looking. She's also filthy rich. The yelling and lack of cooking skills balance her out." reasoned Naruto.

"So, who wins?" questioned Vegeta.

"Right now Goku is winning." answered Naruto.

The Saiyan pumped his fist before Naruto continued, "But that is only because Trunks is still in diapers and my kid isn't even born yet."

"So, what you're saying is that whoever produces the most powerful offspring picked the best woman?" questioned Vegeta.

"No it's the other way around." responded Goku.

"It's which woman picked the best man? That makes no sense!" exclaimed Vegeta.

"We're the variables, Vegeta. Think about it." responded Naruto.

"Bah, you're both the couple of high class morons!" bellowed Vegeta. "The winner is the man who's the best in the bedroom!"

Naruto quirked an eyebrow, "Best? Are we talking stamina, most orgasms produced, or wildest thing you've ever done?"

Vegeta narrowed his eyes before smirking, "Most creative use of a fighting skill in the sack."

Goku scratched his head in confusion, "Well, I have done it as a Super Saiyan. Is that what you mean?"

Naruto shrugged, "It counts, but there's no way you can win."

"Wait a minute, how did you have sex with your woman as Super Saiyan, Kakarot? You should have pounded her into oblivion!" declared Vegeta.

Goku smirked, "Well, after I mastered the control over Super Saiyan in the time chamber that wasn't a problem anymore. Chichi couldn't get enough of me, that's how she ended up pregnant again."

"Damn you, Kakarot! Always one step ahead!" grumbled Vegeta.

"There's no need to get all agitated. He can't win."

Goku pouted, "And why is that?"

"You're the only straight man who isn't one-hit KO'd by any version of my Orioke no jutsu." deadpanned Naruto. "It's obvious who takes the bedroom lead in your marriage."

"And I've heard the stories about you from the woman. Until you married the Harpy, you were completely clueless about anything when it came to sex! You still thought girls had dicks when you were twelve!" added Vegeta.

"That was a perfectly normal assumption..." weakly defended Goku.

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Dude, I had perfected my original Orioke by the time I was twelve, with tons of research put starting at the age of ten."

Vegeta smirked, "Lost my virginity by age thirteen."

"The reason Super Saiyan sex isn't that impressive is that I don't have to worry about control much. We do it powered up all the time." casually stated Naruto.

"That's because your woman is half-woman, half machine." grunted Vegeta. "Ha! I've got you beat Kakarot! With telekinesis plus super speed I've pleasured every erogenous zone and hit every hole at once."

"I'm sure Naruto has the beat with his shadow clones." reasoned Goku.

Naruto shook his head, "Shadow clones can't hold up. They dispel way too easily."

Vegeta began to gloat, "Ha! I win-"

Naruto cut him off, "Not so fast! Ha! You guys are so way behind; I was having a tough time trying to decide how much I want to blow you out of the water. I'm in a good mood so; I'll give something that even you can do. Gentleman, I give you...fly-fucking."

The pair of Saiyans' jaws dropped, "Fly-fucking?"

"Yes, fly-fucking." reiterated Naruto.

"It's so...It's so ingenious!" exclaimed Vegeta.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Later that day Goku and Naruto could be found sparring on the Grand Kai's planet under the watchful eyes of King Kai. Goku dodged a punch from Naruto and responded with a kick that the blond easily blocked. They entered a high speed exchange of punches and kicks, neither managing to really capitalize on an opening with the other due the heavy weights they were using. Goku sported his traditional gi while Naruto sported a Future Trunks inspired outfit: black boots, black pants with orange stripes running down the side, metal plated fingerless black gloves and a black tank top. His customized black capsule corp jacket with a red flame design and whirlpool spiral sown on the back, lay on the ground underneath his weapons pouch and the Z sword in its sheath.

"Got a couple light weights, your training up again North Kai?" taunted South Kai as he strolled up to his North quadrant counterpart.

King Kai shot him a mischievous grin, "The one with the dark hair is my student Goku, a world champion from his home planet of Earth. And I'm sure you remember Naruto, South Kai. Along with those very interesting photographs he took that I still have in my possession."

South Kai's eyes widened in panic, "You said the ones I destroyed were the originals!"

"They were." replied King Kai as his grin widened. "I'd already made copies."

"You little..." grumbled South Kai. "Whatever, I'm sure these guys aren't that tough."

"Do you remember that Frieza fellow causing ruckus in the HFIL? The tyrant who Pikkon had to rescue your best man from." casually stated King Kai.

"Yeah, but what's that have to do with anything?" asked South Kai.

King Kai smirked as he adjusted his sunglasses, "Well, Goku was the one who originally defeated Frieza in the first place. And Naruto helped take down a guy named Cell, who was several times stronger. He sealed him into the Z-sword sitting right over there. They're both just about equal in strength."

"A wielder of the Z-sword..." stammered a stunned South Kai.

"Did also I mention that unlike your students, they're also not even dead yet?" added King Kai. "Yep, I guess you could say my eye for talent and training skills are the best around."

South scowled at his counterpart, "Now just you wait minute..."

As South Kai attempted to dress down his smug counterpart, Goku and Naruto were getting a little bored with their workout.

"How about we take this up a notch?" suggested Goku.

"Fine by me." replied Naruto with a shrug.

"Hold it!" shouted King Kai. "You two better not wreck the Grand Kai's planet!"

"We won't go all out, King Kai." reasoned Goku.

Naruto nodded in agreement, "Yeah, we'll increase the weight if we transform."

"How much weight are we talking about?" questioned South Kai.

"Let's double it, four tons to eight tons." suggested Goku.

South scratched his chin in thought, "Eight tons total? That's a decent amount."

"No, it'll be eight tons per limb." corrected Naruto.

South Kai's jaw dropped, "But, that's thirty-two tons total..."

King Kai waved his hand in front the face of the unresponsive Kai, "I think you may have broken him. Shouldn't you two be off handling that Despero character right now?"

Naruto shrugged, "I've got clones handling some recon work as we speak. They've been scoping out his operation, trying to figure out the best way to take him down and get after the next guy up the food chain."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

A figure in a black hooded cloaked sprinted through the side streets of Kalanor's capital city. The person came to a halt at a cargo vehicle parked a few blocks away from Despero's main palace. After the figure knocked onto the door of the back trailer in a specific sequence, it pulled open and he slipped inside before it closed behind him. Once inside the figure peeled back his hood to reveal himself to be a Naruto clone joining his fellow clones inside their surveillance truck, "Guys! I've checked everywhere! There's not a single ramen stand on this planet!"

The clones were all outraged.

"That fiend!"

"He's a heathen!"

"The blasphemer!"

One clone had finally had enough, deciding it was time to take action, "Despero must pay for this grave injustice! Alert squad three, for the next ten days, we contaminate his personal food supply with a triple dose extra strength laxatives!"

"Here, here!" chorused all the clones in agreement.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

King Kai turned to his other pupil, "What's your excuse Goku? Shouldn't be taking care of your pregnant wife?"

Goku shook his head, "Until the baby comes, we're staying at Bulma's so she can take it easy. Besides all the women went shopping today."

King Kai nodded in understanding, "Ah, and you weren't forced to go with them. What did you do with all this free time?"

Goku grinned, "Well, we did pay a visit to Hercule this morning..."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

It wasn't the first time during the day that Hercule cursed his luck. First he woke up and immediately let out a scream of horror when he found a head facing him in his bed. It turned out to only be a mannequin head, but it scared the crap out of him nonetheless. He opened his closet to get a robe and towel, only to be covered by an avalanche of ping pong balls. Thinking things couldn't get any worse he showered and headed out to his pool to work on his tan. It was forty-minutes later that he figured out someone had mistakenly refilled his oil bottle with Crisco. Suffered from a severe case of bacon back, he scrambled to get into his sandals sitting at the edge of the pool. Unfortunately, those had been super glued to the ground causing him to trip and fly head first into the pool. Despite all these cases of bad luck, his current predicament took the cake.

"What the hell is taking this guy so long!" grumbled Hercule. He was currently standing outside of a building having some construction done. A guy had come out and asked him to hold on the end of a tape measure for him since everyone else was working with the loud dangerous machinery and that was almost an hour ago.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Take a look in Naruto's jacket pocket. We took tons of pictures." stated a grinning Goku.

In the blink of an eye, King Kai had his hands on the comedic gold and was laughing up a storm.

Naruto's eyes glazed over for moment, "My clones may have just stumbled onto something big, but more importantly the Kalanorian rebels may be walking into an ambush."

"Should we head back and get some help?" asked Goku as the pair started discarding their weights.

"We need to move fast so let's just grab Piccolo and Sixteen from the lookout. The four of us will have to cut it for now." replied Naruto as put on his jacket and attached the Z sword to his back. "We shouldn't leave the Earth completely defenseless and if things get hairy King Kai can have Gohan round up the others for backup."

Goku nodded in agreement, "Alright, let's go."

The pair then vanished off to Earth to collect Piccolo and Sixteen before making the jump to Kalanor.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Minutes later the clones in the surveillance van found themselves joined by Goku, Piccolo, Naruto, and Sixteen.

A stray thought popped a clone's head, "Hey, I just thought of a great joke. A Saiyan, a shinobi, a Namek, and an Android walk into a bar-"

He was cut off as the clone next to him smacked him in the back of head, accidentally causing him to dispel.

Naruto and his clones suddenly all smirked at the same time, "Ha! Funny!"

The clones all shook their heads to refocus from the momentary distraction. The apparent leader of the group took charge, "Alright we figured out that a supply raid the rebels are heading out on might nothing but a set up. The tunnel drops them into a warehouse filled with either supplies or a squadron of soldiers and a couple of generals. It's too soon to tell."

"Rebels? Figures, wherever there's oppression there's a resistance." muttered Piccolo. "Have you made contact with them?"

Goku nodded, "Yeah, Naruto and I raided couple of Despero supply transports yesterday before we played Space Tag."

Piccolo sweat-dropped, "Space Tag?"

Sixteen shook his head, "Don't ask. It's exactly what you think it is."

"Don't knock it until you've played it." quipped Naruto. "Anyway, we've definitely confirmed that he's involved with someone on the outside. There's something blocking nearly all communications heading out of this planet. The only devices that get a line out are the devices Despero and his elite generals wear.

The surveillance photo showed Despero wearing a white and red scouter. After that it cycled to two more Kalanorians wearing the same device along with an orange haired and dark haired alien, both of unknown origin.

"We think the last two are from planets he conquered and brainwashed." informed the clone.

"That device is a scouter, it's used to track power levels. It also serves as a communicator." informed Piccolo. "It would easily allow him to communicate to the new guy behind Frieza's empire."

"How far have you infiltrated into Despero cult?" questioned Sixteen.

"We planted bugs, hidden cameras, all sorts of shit. We're everywhere and he and his Legion of the Third Eye don't even have a clue." replied the clone.

Goku was struck with a stray thought, "How did you get so good at working this surveillance equipment?"

"Pranking the hell out of Hercule." deadpanned all the clones.

"I can't sense all the clones that should be here, did we loose some?" questioned the real Naruto.

"Two full squads were sent out to sector 431." replied a clone. "Every intercepting force that gets sent out is disguised as a different version of ANBU, so they still have no clue who is behind this. We used Mist, Cloud, and Leaf disguises so far."

'Hey! Nice work over in sector 431.' interrupted King Kai telepathically. 'With Despero already having taken control the planets Zenar and Jalax-III, if he'd taken over Xenadron-V that sector would have firmly been in his control.'

Piccolo narrowed his eyes, "The movements of this army are far too organized to be the random plotting of a madman out for control."

'So what are you thinking, Piccolo?' questioned King Kai.

"My suspicions are that the Cold Empire as not as dead as we thought with Frieza and King Cold out of the picture. Someone is using Despero and his forces like Frieza used the Saiyans. It may be this Cooler character, or it may be someone even higher up the food chain." stated Piccolo.

"Then why are we wasting time with Despero?" questioned Goku.

"As long as Despero continues to do his work for him, there is no reason for the mastermind to reveal himself. Removing his pawn from the playing field will force his hand." explained Piccolo.

'I think Piccolo is on to something. There are some planets the even Despero's forces would have trouble dealing with. Too much man power and time would be wasted trying over these worlds with capable technology or fighters to oppose invasion. Someone or something has been moving around discretely and completely obliterated these worlds. More than half a dozen planets, simply gone.' informed King Kai.

A clone's eye widened as it realized something, "There's a pattern in the use of his scouter. He calls out on this one specific frequency, and every time within forty-eight hours he's done that a planet has been destroyed."

Another dismissed that train of thought as there were more pressing matters at hand, "Shifflet is sending out a distress signal! Our suspicions were right, it is a trap!"

Goku decided on a course of action, "Alright, Piccolo and Sixteen, you guys escort the rebels to safety. Naruto and I will handle the Legion forces."

"Using the tunnels, there's another hideout you can reach that's not to far from there." informed Naruto.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Things weren't looking good for the Rebel forces. As they had approached entrance of their target, a explosion rocked the ceiling of the tunnel they were traveling through. A hole opened up and Legion soldiers armed with blasters dropped down and opened fire. The doors of the raid site opened up and even more soldiers of Despero's Legion of the Third eye came sprinting down the steps into the tunnel to join the battle. The rebels were forced to take cover and return fire where they could.

"It's a trap!" shouted Radoko before Goku and the others suddenly appeared in the middle of the tunnel between the rebels and the legion soldiers. "The outsiders have betrayed us! They lead them here!"

"Don't be a fool!" yelled Shifflet as he returned fire. "I called them to bail us out!"

"Hurry back and regroup at the secondary sight!" ordered Sixteen as he took up a position to cover the rebels as he returned fire.

"Okay! Everybody move out!" commanded Shifflet.

As the rebels turned to flee Naruto raised his right arm and a wall of wind sprung up to shield them all from the blasts. Piccolo fired an energy blast at the ceiling to cave in the tunnel and cover their escape. Now that all the rebels were clear of the area, Naruto dropped the wall of wind dropped and waved his left arm. The weapons of all the soldiers were immediately all sliced in half, and the men themselves started dropping like flies as Goku super sped around the room knocking them out one by one. With the soldiers all down for the count Goku flew into the warehouse with Naruto following on foot. They found a group five elites soldiers on the ground floor waiting for them and three lieutenants standing a short distance behind them. They were all of Kalanorian descent, one very short, one a hulking brute, and the third tall and skinny.

"What are you waiting for? Get them!" commanded the shortest lieutenant.

The five warriors called upon the power of the blue Pitar flame and launched themselves into the air at Goku. Calling upon some of his strength with a shout, Goku masterfully dodged the incoming fist of the Kalanorian who reached him first. He planted his own fist into the soldiers gut before gliding around the other fighters as if they were in slow motion. A knee to the solar-plexus, a elbow to the throat, and elbow to the back of the neck, and a knee to the chin nailed the four remaining fighters before they could even realize the attacks were coming. The five man squad of fighters all dropped to the ground unconscious.

"Who the hell is this guy?" stammered the short lieutenant.

"I didn't even see him move!" yelled the bulky one.

Their tall and skinny companion tempered their concerns, "There's no need to worry. He only looked good, because he was facing those grunts. He couldn't possible compare to us."

"You're right. Those grunts are getting weaker and weaker now a days. You want the first crack at him, Ryuken?" questioned the short Kalanorian.

He gave a smirk in response, "Do you even have to ask?"

As the Lieutenant called upon the power of the Pitar flame and flew up to engage Goku, the Saiyan vanished again and reappeared in front of the Army Lieutenant leveling him with a high kick. He followed up by dropping an elbow into his sternum that sent him crashing into the ground and put him out of commission.

Goku vanished and reappeared in front of the two lieutenants with his back facing them. The two soldiers gasped in shock, stunned by his speed. Before they could even think of defending themselves, Goku slammed his elbow into the gut of the larger Kalanorian with his left arm, before dropping the other immediately with a powerful blow to the neck. The large lieutenant stumbled forward a few steps, doubled over in pain before he finally collapsed to the ground face first.

Naruto let out a yawn, "Well that was easy."

"Yeah, I was hoping for at least a warm up." complained Goku.

Exiting the hideout back into the tunnel, the two rose up through the hole in the ceiling to see if there were any stragglers above ground. Finding the streets empty they continued to move ahead a few blocks only to come to a halt as two figures suddenly dropped down in front of them. The one on the left was massive hulking alien with green skin and long black hair that extended down below his waste. He sported a golden variant of the Saiyan style armor with only a single shoulder pad covering his left shoulder. He also sported a red and white helmet along with a scouter. The menacing warrior appeared to be spoiling for a good fight. However, his companion appeared to want to be anywhere but their current location right now. He was a blue skinned alien with orange spiky hair. He sported loose flowing white pants with golden boots. A puffy long sleeved black shirt covered his upper body along with a red sash over his shoulder. A long sheathed sword was attached to his waste.

"They don't look like much, Doore." stated the orange haired alien with a bored tone. "You can handle them yourself."

The brute now know has Doore cracked his knuckles, "You just don't like dirty your hands with weaklings, Kogu."

Naruto chuckled, "You should know that appearance can be deceiving."

"I bet you guys think you're hot stuff." muttered Doore as he tapped the button on his scouter. He immediately let out burst of laughter, "You might have been able to squash those grunts, but with a power level of only 25,000 a piece you won't even scratch us."

Goku smirked as he dropped into his stance, "Is that right? We won't even scratch you?"

"Not so fast, you got the last squadron to yourself. These two are mine." declared Naruto.

Goku let out a sigh of disappointment, "Aw man, I didn't even break a sweat with those guys."

Naruto shrugged, "Not like these two will pose much more of challenge."

"Yeah, but the guy with the Mohawk at least feels like he could be decent warmup." reasoned Goku.

"You here that Kogu?" laughed the hulking green alien. "They said you might be a decent warmup!"

His shorter orange spiky hared companion merely rolled his eyes in annoyance, "You're a fool Doore. They don't even consider you to be a threat at all."

"Fine then! Give me your best shot, I won't even move!" bellowed the enraged brute as he leaped forward and landed in the center of the area.

Naruto scratched his head in confusion, "Best shot? That just wouldn't be fair. Let me show you."

Doore watched impatiently as Naruto pulled out his sword and seemingly slashed at nothing before tucking his free arm behind his back. Goku raised an eyebrow in amusement at the display.

The flashy display had the previously bored Kogu intrigued, "Looks like that blade isn't simply for decoration."

The sounds of a few drops of liquid splashing to the ground beneath Naruto's leg caught Doore's attention.

The bulky brute roared with laughter, "Hahaha! Did you see that Kogu! This guy just wet in pants before he could even make a move!"

Naruto smirked, "Look's like the rest of your body is a little slow on the uptake."

"What are you talking about you little piss pants punk? Just hurry up and give me your best shot!" bellowed Doore.

Naruto shook his head, "You still don't seem to understand the situation. Let me give you hand with that."

Casually Naruto brought the arm behind his back forward, and toss the severed forearm of Doore back to it's owner. The dumfounded brute caught with his good arm while sporting a stupefied expression. Looking down at his other arm to find a severed limb he let out a shout of panic before hopping around like mad and howling in pain.

"No! I'm not done with you!" roared Doore as he tossed his arm away. "I only need one arm to crush your skull! Can Opener Attack!"

The hulking green alien rushed forward to grab Naruto by the head, only to come up with nothing but air.

"Stay still and fight me!" yelled Doore.

Naruto rolled his eyes, "I'm ashamed to admit that once upon a time, people considered me to be slow, but I was nothing compared to a guy like you."

"What are you babbling about?" bellowed the big brute.

"You died four seconds ago, you moronic buffoon." informed Kogu.

"What?" incredulously exclaimed Doore.

A vertical line suddenly appeared in the vision of the brute as his body finally caught up with the fact that he's been split in half from head to toe. The edges of his body at the point of separation caught flame and quickly reduced to brainless fighter to ash.

"Let it be known that I am not a merciless man. I'll give you once chance to flee here with your life." stated Naruto as he turned to Kogu.

Kogu was unfazed, "Your sword technique is very refined, but not unbeatable. You may be good, great even, but I'm the best."

"Good thing I'm more than a simple swordsman." responded Naruto as he sheathed the Z-sword behind his back. "Why use the blade, when I only need one finger?"

Kogu quirked an eyebrow in surprise, "Are you really that foolish?"

Naruto brought forth his right hand with his index finger extended and engulfed with energy, "Try me."

Kogu slowly extracted his blade, "It's your funeral."

The orange haired alien blurred forward, unleashing an overhead strike that Naruto blocked easily. Kogu followed with a high speed assault of sword strikes that his blond haired foe blocked at every turn with his finger. Naruto's casual manner in deflected his attacks angered Kogu, causing him to up the intensity of his strikes. Goku observed closely as the pair super sped around the street in the completely one sided battle. After parrying a powerful overhead strike that left his opponent open, Naruto took the offensive and slashed at his chest with his finger. Only Kogu's instinct causing him to jump back saved him from gaining more than a shallow gash across his chest. He looked upon his opponent with a look of comprehension, finally able understand how he was merely toying with him.

"You're energy is of the wind nature. You could transform any part of your body into a blade." asserted Kogu.

"Now do you understand how futile this is?" questioned Naruto.

Kogu chuckled as he sheathed his own blade, "Futile? For you, maybe. Flame trumps wind."

The blue skinned alien let out a roar as his body became enshrouded in the blue flames of Pitar.

Naruto was unfazed by the display, "It will take more than lighting a match to impress me."

Wild flames rolled off his body, slamming into nearby buildings and creating tons of damage.

"Not impressed, yet?" taunted Kogu.

Naruto let out a chuckle of amusement.

"I wouldn't laugh just yet." declared Kogu.

The orange haired alien lifted his hand and fired a blast of the blue flame, which Naruto easily leaped to the left to avoid. The blond leaped into the air to avoid another blast, and Kogu continued to fire. The shinobi avoided each attack with relative ease, vanishing and reappearing around the area as Kogu tried in vain to roast him alive. After a couple blasts destroyed sections of a building and brought some debris to the ground, Naruto reappeared back on ground level in front of Kogu.

"I don't hear you prattling on anymore. Finally realized how I expose your fatal flaw?" taunted Kogu as he laughed arrogantly.

Naruto faked a shiver, "Actually, I'm cold."

"Actually, you're dead!" yelled the scowling orange haired alien.

Kogu let out a mighty roar and his power level suddenly skyrocketed with his body transforming to accommodate his ascension to full power. The transformation rendered his skin color chartreuse, his hair red and his muscle massed increased dramatically, shredding his shirt in the process. The blue flame aura around his body began more condensed and refined, as if his body was heating up like a poker.

Naruto made a beckoning motion, "Let's see what you've got."

Kogu let out a battle roar as he blurred towards Naruto and pierced through his chest with his glowing right hand. Naruto let out a groan of pain as his entire body became engulfed in flames from the attack that launched him backwards into the air.

'His speed increased as much as his power. Those bulky muscles aren't even slowing him down.' thought Goku.

"And now for the Coup de Grace..." announced Kogu as he launched his fist forward like a punch and fired a massive spiraling blue and black ball of fire at Naruto while he was still in the air. The attack made a direct hit causing Naruto to howl out in pain. The smoldering form of the blond collapsed to the ground, still engulfed in flames as he burned away. The glow from Kogu's body faded as he admired his work.

"Ha! What a weakling. You're burning here, so I guest you can rest in hell." mocked Kogu. The red haired alien turned to face Goku, only to find Naruto standing next to the Saiyan. He turned back to the smoldering fire behind him, only to find a log burning away instead of the corpse of Naruto.

"The flames... he survived it all! That's impossible!" stammered Kogu.

Naruto extracted the sword with one hand and pushed his headband up with other, revealing his fully opened Jagan eye as he channeled the power of the Mortal Flame into the blade, "I never said I was just limited to the element of wind, did I?"

Kogu eye's widened in shock, "Fire and Wind? How could you-"

He was cut off as Naruto suddenly vanished and reappeared behind him. He wasn't even able to turn his head before his body fell apart in pieces that quickly burned to ash.

"You can channel all your power into that sword now without even having to transform yourself." observed Goku. "But how? That kind of control should have taken years learn."

Naruto shrugged, "I used my Kage Bushin training method in the time chamber to refine a lot of things and come up with new tricks as well."

Goku snickered, "Krillin always complains about how hard it is to keep up with us Super Saiyans in terms of pure power, but I don't think anyone can keep up with you in terms of techniques. You're always coming up with something new. The great Naruto, the man of a thousand techniques!"

"Somehow I've become a bizarro version of Kakashi-sensei." deadpanned the blond.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Piccolo and Sixteen had safely led the rebels to the secondary hideout. While mostly consisting of Kalanorians, the rebels had picked up some members from the various races that Despero and his army had conquered. Piccolo picked the brain of a few rebels to try and get a better understanding of how Despero operates. Sixteen spent his time investigating their surroundings.

Shifflet walked over to Sixteen who was starring intently at some hieroglyphic like carvings in the stone wall, "Can you actually read this stuff?"

"There seems to be a recurring theme here, in these symbols." replied Sixteen.

The man was stunned, "Wow, no one can decipher these. The chambers here are ancient; no one knows who built them."

"From what I can tell, this indicates that this planet at one time had flourishing green lands and plant life. The presence of nature was very strong, completely opposite of the barren desert conditions of today." informed Sixteen.

"That's kind of hard to believe." muttered Radoko.

"Actually, legend does say that Kalanor was once a paradise." suggested Shifflet.

"The main reoccurring symbol is this tree here." indicated Sixteen.

Shifflet narrowed his eyes at the symbols, "I can only recognize the flame symbol for the flame of Pitar. That means that corrupting fire has plagued this world for centuries."

"Those are nothing but the ancient drawings of cavemen. We need to stop sitting around and wasting time. We need to take action!" ranted Radoko.

Shifflet placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him, "Patience, Radoko. If we act without proper planning, all is lost."

Radoko scoffed and shrugged him off, "We are only delaying the inevitable. We should just give in before any more lives are wasted for nothing. The cause is lost."

Shifflet looked upon his comrade sadly as he stormed off, "Forgive him, he is young, but he also has a point. It all seems so bleak."

"Hope is only lost when you believe it to be so." advised Sixteen.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Despero turned to face Prisblec as he entered his chambers.

"You have news for me Prisblec?" questioned Despero.

He nodded, "Yes, our conquest of Xenadron-V in sector 431 failed. It was another group of those masked soldiers thwarting our forces again."

Despero frowned, "What about the trap set for the unbelievers?"

Prisblec scowled, "They would have fallen if no for the intervention of some outsiders. It is believed to be the same pair that previously raided the supply lines. What do you want to do about them, my Lord?"

Despero scratched his chin, "I've had my suspicions of their identities, and this battle only confirmed it. The next course of action is already in motion."

Prisblec's eyes widened, "You mean him? But my Lord, if he fights them here the resulting battle could be catastrophic."

Despero smirked, "I did not deploy him here, but to the home world of our new foes."

"Wise as always, my Lord. I shall go check on his status." stated Prisblec with a bow as he departed the room.

The minute he left, Despero pulled his scouter out of his pocket and put it on. As he spoke, his voice changed, "Yeah, you were right about it. He was one of them. What did I do? I deployed the weapon to their home planet, Earth. He'll go on a rampage looking for 'Kakarot' while I finish the job with the real one right here. I'll report back in once it's done."

As he dropped the line of communication his countenance remained the same, "Ha! Not even you have no idea what the 'weapon' is truly capable of. I just need to bide my time until your master reveals themselves Cooler, and then the Universe will be under my control!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Goku and Naruto reconnected with the others at the hideout. While the rebels were still upbeat from the turning of the tables on their ambush, the eventual confrontation with Despero concerned Piccolo.

"Defeating this Despero isn't going to be so simple. He is channeling a great deal of power that isn't necessarily his own." stated Piccolo.

"You mean the power he gets from the flame of Pitar?" replied Naruto.

Piccolo nodded, "With his connection to flame he can draw as much power as he needs from it and even pass on the link to the flame to his soldiers."

"So, if we wipe out the flame the whole thing collapses!" declared Goku.

"But it's not like you can just blow out the flame like a candle." interjected Shifflet. "Its power is almost infinite and it is composed of pure nuclear plasma."

Goku scratched his head as he gave it some thought, "You said before it was a sentient being, can you seal it away, Naruto?"

Naruto shook his head in response, "There's nothing powerful enough for it to be sealed into. The Z-sword was already created to be a strong prison, so that's why sealing away Cell worked, but it was a one shot deal."

"Perhaps we can neutralize the flame." suggested Sixteen. "If it is composed of nuclear plasma, a carbon bomb would arrest its nuclear activity. With the resources you acquired from Dr. Gero's lab, I can construct one in a few hours."

Naruto chuckled and patted him on the shoulder, "Ladies and gentleman, I give you Sixteen, the Android of a thousand talents."

Piccolo let out a grunt of annoyance, "What are you waiting for? Get a move on!"

"Right!" replied Naruto with a salute. He put a hand Sixteen's shoulder and they both teleported back to Earth.

"And now we wait..." muttered Shifflet.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

It was only an hour later when Naruto returned to the hideout without Sixteen.

"Is something wrong?" asked Goku.

Naruto growled, "Yes, we've got a rat problem. That Radoko fellow, he's gone to meet with Despero."

Goku narrowed his eyes, "Then it looks like the time fight is now. We need hold Despero and his men off until Sixteen finishes with that bomb."

"Shifflet, you and the others need to evacuate this place. Head back to your main hideout and get ready for a fight." ordered Piccolo.

"You got it." nodded the stocky Kalanorian. "Come on everybody! Let's go!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Despero sat meditating in the innermost sanctum of his palace, hovering in front of the pit that housed the flame of Pitar.

"The time is almost at hand; my connection to the flame grows stronger with everyday." He was broken from his meditation by the arrival of general Prisblec, "Better news this time, I hope?"

"Indeed, my Lord." replied Prisblec. He turned back to the darkened hallway behind them and nodded. Out of the shadows emerged Radoko, who walked right up to the intimidating presence that was Despero.

"Speak." commanded Despero.

"Lord Despero, the off-worlders and unbelievers have regrouped in the city's ancient catacombs. I can show you where to find them." meekly offered Radoko.

Despero gave him a skeptical look, "And why should I believe you? Where you also not one of the unbelievers? What do you gain from this betrayal?"

Radoko bowed at his feet, "I only wish to be apart of the winning side."

Despero let out a hearty laugh, "Hahaha! Well then young one, you've assured yourself a position there indeed."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." rang out the voice of Goku as he, Naruto, and Piccolo appeared above them. "From where we stand, our chances look pretty good."

Prisblec kicked Radoko from his spot on the ground, "You fool! You lead them right to us!"

"Patience general Prisblec, I've been expecting them for some time now. These three are here of their own accord." stated Despero. "Now prepare your forces Prisblec, the rest of the resistance must be shown the error of their ways. They will accept the Will of Pitar or die. I will handle these three myself."

Prisblec bowed and left, dragging Radoko behind him, "As you wish."

Naruto, Piccolo, and Goku dropped to the ground in front of Despero. Goku stood in the center of the trio, directly facing Despero, with Piccolo to his left and Naruto to his right. The flame of Pitar let loose a flare of energy behind Despero, causing the trio of fighters to drop into their stances. Piccolo's cape billowed behind him in a dramatic fashion with Goku and Naruto's hair doing the same. Despero starred them down unfazed by their arrival.

With Prisblec gone Despero's voice and seemingly his personality shifted once again, "Well, well, well if it isn't the monkey who took down the mighty Frieza, himself. It's been a long time, Goku."

"Wait a minute, you know this guy?" questioned a befuddled Naruto.

"No, never seen met before in my life." responded Goku.

"How do you know that name!" demanded Piccolo.

Despero laughed, "Don't feel too left out, Piccolo. I know you as well!"

Goku let out a grunt of frustration, "His voice sounds familiar, but that shouldn't be possible. I would remember a guy like this."

Despero smirked, "It makes since, that you wouldn't recognize me. The last time we crossed paths, you trapped me inside a frog."

It finally dawned on Goku, "No way! Captain Ginyu?"

Naruto was completely lost, "Captain what now?"

"Ginyu? But there's no way! He should have bit the dust a long time ago!" bellowed Piccolo.

"Or at least still be stuck as frog." added Goku.

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" madly cackled the now revealed Captain Ginyu as he struck one of his trademark poses. "Not even you could keep the mighty Ginyu down for long! It was a tough struggle, but now I'm back on top! And not even a mighty Super Saiyan like you can hold a candle to me! With the unlimited power of the flame of Pitar at my disposal in this new body, I am unbeatable! Hahaha!"

Captain Ginyu's back! What in the seven levels of HFIL is going on here? The Captain is back and apparently primed to go toe to toe with Team Kai. And what sort of surprise weapon has he unleashed on the unsuspecting Earth? It looks like Earth's Special Forces is going to have their work cut for them as they face a possible battle on two fronts. Amidst this entire chaos one thing is for sure, you definitely don't want to miss the next battle packed edition of Ninja of the Kais!