Uchiha Madara had once again been sitting on top of his statue contemplating life and how well all his plans were going when he heard something that still brought him nightmares after over six decades of its abscence.

"Dar Dar!" a horrifyingly familiar voice shrieked an instant before he found himself enveloped in the bear hug from hell.

"No. You're dead. I killed you myself." he found himself saying as he edged towards a total nervous breakdown, unable to believe what his senses were telling him. This couldn't possibly be happening. This couldn't possibly be happening. This couldn't possibly be happening. He'd poisoned the ramen himself, and he'd personally stayed and watched his broter keel over, never to bother him again. This could not possibly be happening.

"Yep, and I came back!" his long dead, and completely unlamented older brother said. Of all the people to return from the dead, why couldn't it have been Izuna? He would have gladly put up with any amount of bitching about the eyes. Hell, he'd happily put up with a thousand years of bitching about the eyes, and the theft of binky, the time he'd "murdered" Mr. Teddy, that time he dumped Izuna in the mud puddle in front of his crush, and that time he...

"We're going to have sooo much fun together now that I remember you." his older brother said as he gripped him in a headlock and proceeded to give him a noogie.

It was in that moment the one person who could hold him down and give him a noogie even after he was grown transformed into a rather familiar blond, a rather familiar blond with an extremely familiar grin and a certain gleam in his now blue eyes that he'd learned to fear. He was tempted to kill the Jinchurriki right there and then, but he came to the sudden realization that if he did so Obito would just turn up again like a bad ryu coin. Better to just make a strategic retreat and research ways of preventing a soul from returning to the mortal plane before offing his brother once more. He wasn't fleeing. He wasn't fleeing...

Who the hell was he kidding? He was going to run for the fucking hills and pray that Obito, or rather Naruto now, never found him. Screw the Akatsuki. Pein could go and do whatever the fuck he wanted.