A/N: Oh man, this. As is the case with a great abundance of my one-shots, this was mostly written like two years ago, and then promptly forgotten about. And then one day I wrote the end of it and thought that there should really be more of a middle, but I couldn't rightly think of one. So, uh, I sent it to my beta. And she was very vehement about me not making a middle, so here it is! (Note: Please keep in mind that this was started before Days, and finished after it came out...and that I haven't played that damn game yet because I don't have the money to buy the system SO. Yeah.)

Warnings: Swearing, boys in love, violence that wasn't actually written but just sort of glossed over because, yeah, no.

Disclaimer: If I owned them, this would actually have shown up in the canon. Title is shamelessly stolen from Green Day because I fail.

Summary: Xigbar/Demyx. They aren't in love, and there's no such thing as a happy ending.

Time of Your Life

Xigbar met Demyx on a day that was just like any other in The World That Never Was, at an indeterminate time and in a place that had not yet become significant. He had been attracted to the area by the sound of what might have been heart-rending screams if he'd had a heart, and had found a sopping wet Xaldin carrying a kid who wasn't so much fighting to get loose as he was flailing sporadically.

Xigbar's initial thought was that Xaldin was a sick fuck that needed to have some decency shot into him. His second thought was that if this was what the strongest hearts were creating these days, they should have stopped at Saïx. (Axel was a lot of fun, and great with both magic and fighting, but he had a tendency to let his non-existent heart get the best of him.)

"What is that?" Xigbar asked, sounding amused.

"A Nobody, obviously," Xaldin had replied shortly. It was amazing how well they still feigned emotions.

Xigbar warped closer for a better look, dodging wayward arms without a thought, and was rewarded with a sharper, more panicked screech and a sudden waterfall that knocked him right to the ground. It explained things rather more physically than he would have liked. He got slowly to his feet and glared at Xaldin (who had the nerve to smirk at him) before turning his gaze on the newcomer. He almost forgot to keep the glare up at the sight that awaited him--wide ocean-colored eyes staring at him in shock and horror, hair clinging to his face, wet clothing melded to his body like a second skin. It was a beautiful sight, really. Too beautiful for him.

"What's its name?" Xigbar asked, tearing his gaze away to catch Xaldin's eye again.

"Demyx," the larger man had replied, a single eyebrow raised as if to ask why he even cared.

"Well then, Demyx," Xigbar said with a wide grin, utterly ignoring the taller man, "that little soak has landed you with me for training. Petty revenge is the best." Demyx stared fixedly at his scar and whimpered.

It was the start of a beautiful friendship.

---

Demyx was a surprisingly fast learner in many ways. It didn't take long at all for him to control his magic or remember everything he was told about his existence and Kingdom Hearts, but he was amazingly stubborn and couldn't fight to save his life. He never gave up, and he never quite stopped believing that they had emotions. He tended to express these in his music, strumming his sitar according to his 'mood' and making strange water clones of himself and the other members dance to it. He did this most often in the area of the castle where the two of them had met, where the music was amplified and there was enough room for the clones not to destroy each other. Soon enough, Xemnas had dubbed the area 'The Hall of Empty Melodies', an insult to Demyx and his false emotions that he never acknowledged.

Xigbar had taken to watching the kid from a balcony on the next floor up, going unnoticed by the blond who was so absorbed in his music. It was from said balcony that he discovered either Demyx's talent for storytelling or the story of his Other's life.

In a long ballad, he sang the song of a child that retained his memories though his village had lost theirs, of a young dog-boy who was his only companion for years, of a young princess whose sister turned herself into a bird to save her and the world, of an immortal magician who had the torso and head of a beautiful human woman and the tail of a snake. And at the end of the song, he had looked straight up at Xigbar.

The older Nobody, not one to run when he was obviously cornered, jumped from the balcony and stared at Demyx. The kid was tenser than he'd ever been before, eyes unnervingly cold and his usual amiable nature gone. Xigbar had only seen a look that approached this once before, when Demyx had stubbornly fought with Zexion about their lack of emotions (an argument that had left them as friends instead of wary not-quite-enemies), and it was even worse this time around. Thankfully, when it became obvious that Xigbar was more curious than annoyed, Demyx relaxed and started up a bittersweet tune.

"That wasn't my Other's life," he began softly, eyes staring off into the distance. "It was a legend--probably a mix of a bunch of similar ones, actually. My father studied them, saying that they were proof that something other than our tiny island existed. My mother had always wanted to leave our city, urged father on in his research. After she died, he never left his books. It swallowed him whole, to the point where he hardly even bothered to eat, and it killed him in the end. In the memories, I took over his research, and had almost gotten to the bottom of it…and then the Darkness came."

Demyx fell silent except for his music, a steady tune of the same sad string of notes over and over again. It took Xigbar a few moments to realize that the kid was still talking, telling him through music that his story continued past the end, and it was painfully hollow. He thought about apologizing for Demyx's misfortune, but knew it would do no good, so he just stared into the sad ocean eyes.

There was a shift in the music. It was barely noticeable at first, perhaps just a misplacement of Demyx's fingers, and then it grew and the song had a touch of fear, but mostly relief and a hope so strong it hurt.

"I'm too old for you, kiddo," Xigbar murmured, suddenly uncomfortable. He wasn't prepared for the inclusion of Demyx and his impossible emotions into every aspect of his life.

"We're physically immortal," Demyx had returned with a reckless smile that was both perfect for his face and entirely misplaced. "And we were never meant to exist. Why does it matter, really?"

Xigbar opened his mouth to explain, but found himself with nothing to say. Demyx was right. He had his own misgivings, of course, not the least his belief that there was no emotional value to this on his part and he didn't deserve the kid--but, hey, what the hell?

"Your place or mine?" he asked, pointless since he was already forming a dark portal to his own bedroom.

"Surprise me," Demyx replied, sitar disappearing as he threw his arms around Xigbar's neck and grinned so honestly that Xigbar felt it tugging at something that was no longer part of him.

Why, indeed. Demyx didn't need to know.

---

Demyx was a cuddler. After a night of what Xigbar hoped was fantastic sex for both of them, Demyx liked to curl up against him, using the right side of his chest as a pillow. Sometimes Demyx couldn't sleep and would start talking about whatever was on his mind. This was generally the castle's gossip, and at first mostly consisted of what Axel had blown up, or what Axel had convinced him was a good idea, or, on one memorable occasion, how Axel had stumbled upon another Nobody (whose name Demyx didn't know, but they later discovered to be Luxord) and gotten his ass kicked by a card-wielding maniac who discovered halfway through the fight that he could stop time. Demyx had felt bad for the redhead.

Sometimes, Xigbar wondered if he should be jealous of Axel. But he sort of figured that it didn't matter as long as he was the one with the blond attached to him every night.

Then there was Marluxia and Larxene, one after another in such quick succession that they may as well have been brought in at the same time. He didn't have to worry about Axel after that. Demyx was utterly terrified of Larxene, who could go from sweet to murderous faster than Xigbar could warp, and she took an instant shining to Demyx--the only one who couldn't fight back. Xigbar wanted to kill her, and Marluxia by proxy.

It wasn't long before he found out that Axel was considering it too, though not because he was concerned for Demyx. He was simply appalled at the way Marluxia and Larxene treated the younger boy. Axel was like that, full of false emotions that he couldn't focus on one person. At any rate, it hadn't been hard to convince Axel to light a small fire in Marluxia's garden. With the pink-haired man so distracted and driving Larxene to distraction with him, Xigbar had snuck into both of their rooms and left what he hoped was a clear message. The little voodoo dolls full of bullets had been Demyx's contribution to their escapade.

Larxene wasn't dumb enough to keep bothering Demyx after that, so her loving attentions turned to Luxord, who turned everything into a game but seemed generally unaffected, and then to Axel, who fought back and won.

Life returned to normal.

---

Off-world missions were never particularly fun. This one brought Xigbar, Demyx, and Axel to a world that was set up for a festival. They rode with a band of gaily-dressed people, a wicked man in a fool's cap and an angel under the guise of a seductress. Axel was drawn to the woman, who was wild and dominating and burnt like the flame Axel called his own. She had a strong heart, was probably entirely too good for the life she had been born into, and it was at her behest that Axel gained his tattoos.

But Demyx was the one that danced with her. The water and flame made a perfectly contrasting pair that Xigbar appreciated, and Demyx smiled often. More than once, Xigbar found himself wondering what it would be like if they ran from the Organization and pretended to be whole. It should have been nothing more than an idle dream, but Xigbar knew he would do it if Demyx asked.

He was relieved when the darkness swallowed that world without any real help from them.

---

When they returned to the World That Never Was, they found the Organization to finally be complete. Xemnas and Saix had greeted them together, mentioning something about two Nobodies--a final member, and what they were sure would prove to be a useful tool. Nothing else was mentioned about them, not even their names.

Xigbar heard about the newest member, Roxas, from Demyx often. First it was about what Axel had done to piss the kid off, and eventually it became what Axel and Roxas had done to piss off one of the others. But he met Namine first.

She was an unfortunate ghost of the remains of a human, hidden away in Castle Oblivion, timid and brainwashed under Marluxia's and Larxene's ministratons. When the two of them were around, she was little more than scenery, mostly useless unless you wanted something to look at. It was strange, really, because Demyx talked about her like she had some sort of a personality. He visited her fairly often, playing music for her while she drew, and Demyx said that every so often while he was telling his stories, she would smile. One time, she had even danced with him. It was hard to believe.

It wasn't until he'd warped in to find Marluxia and Larxene gone that he discovered her tiny spark.

"If you could have anything in the universe," he'd began curiously, ready for a mindless answer, "what would you want most?"

There was a long enough pause that Xigbar figured she was too scared of him to answer, and he was about to leave when she looked up at him with twin, blue voids, and simply said: "Freedom."

Xigbar was oddly impressed with her honesty, and found himself hoping that she would take it one day.

When he returned from that encounter, he'd also finally gotten to meet Roxas. It had not been pretty. Xigbar had portalled onto the balcony he had originally claimed to listen to Demyx, and instantly discovered that he was not alone. Axel was there, along with an unfamiliar blond boy who was a good foot shorter than the lanky redhead and holding him quite firmly against the wall. Xigbar's eyebrow shot for his receding hairline and almost made it.

"I will never be able to erase this image from my mind," he sighed unhappily. The two of them jumped visibly, Roxas tearing himself away from Axel in a way that looked oddly painful and leveling the older man with a frustrated glare.

"Why can't we just get a bit of damned peace?" the boy snarled, one ungloved hand slicing the air before running through spiky, blond hair. "And who the hell are you, anyway?"

The eyebrow made another desperate bid to join Xigbar's ponytail as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Xigbar!" a cheerful voice sounded as another black portal appeared and Demyx stumbled out looking flushed and excited, entirely too beautiful as always. "You won't believe the world the Superior sent me to! It's completely underwater and I've never eaten good seaweed before now, and--oh! What are you two doing up here?"

Roxas seethed. Axel seethed a little less, still looking a bit dazed. Xigbar chuckled and wrapped an arm around Demyx's thin waist, giving Roxas a smirk as he did so.

"Just saying hi, Demyx," he said in their stead, guiding the taller blond back through his dark portal before Roxas, who looked about as stable as an active volcano, exploded. "You're talking about Atlantica, right? Think it's about time I visit the place myself; we've been watching it for a while now. Care for another dip?"

"Of course I would!" Demyx replied cheerfully, and turned to look over his shoulder at Axel and Roxas. "See you, guys!"

---

It wasn't long after that when the Organization started to dye off. First there was the end of Castle Oblivion--Vexen was the first to go, and four others followed swiftly after him. Xigbar couldn't even be bothered to feign surprise when Axel was the only one to return. They're told a rather believable story by the kid, of course, all about how the others were slowly turning against the Organization and needed to be eliminated. He believed this of Marluxia and Larxene--had been waiting for it, in fact--but he knew with absolute certainty that the other three were innocent of this accusation. He couldn't imagine any of the original six being traitors, not after everything they'd gone through together, and he wasn't afraid to share his opinion in the slightest, no matter who heard.

The next to go was Roxas, running away to discover the truth that Xemnas was continually insisting must be kept from him at all costs. It wasn't hard to figure out that Axel would turn next, but Xemnas gave the man another chance, and sent him off to bring Roxas back...or else. For a little while, it almost seemed as if Axel would forget his unnerving loyalty and 'feelings' for Roxas, but in the end he let the boy go after all.

Even after that, Xigbar had imagined that the rest of them might make it through alive, broken yet undefeated--but then Xaldin fell as well.

---

Still, it wasn't until Demyx fell that he realized they were going to lose. It wasn't the way the blond's death chewed at his insides, twisting at his non-existent heart, because his personal loss meant nothing in the face of their cause. It was just a feeling he got, for lack of a better word, some strange pressure in the back of his head that he'd always considered a bad omen. He clearly remembered the last time the pressure had been so strong, the last time a loss had seemed so inevitable, and that had been when Xehanort had first appeared in the lives of Ansem and his apprentices.

Of course, he was the only of the remaining Nobodies that bothered to visit the place where Demyx faded. It'd been something of a tradition for him and the blond, actually: they'd visited the remains of Castle Oblivion together when Axel had returned, had made the rounds of each other member's final battle, and it only seemed right that he respect his lover's place as well.

He was surprised, a few minutes after his arrival at Hollow Bastion, to hear a haunting melody strike up along with the gentle breeze. He closed his eyes and stood straight against the wind, not letting it move him, but resignedly deciphered the sitar's song. Despite the overwhelming sadness of the tune, he could hear the declarations of love, hope, and a promise that he refused to acknowledge. He imagined he could see Demyx before him, sitting casually amidst the rubble and smiling at him, and thought that if he'd only still had his heart....

But he didn't finish that thought, because he didn't have that heart any longer, and Demyx had known the truth long before he'd figured it out anyway.

---

He knows history won't remember the Organization as heroes. Hell, they won't even be remembered as what they really were: unfortunate by-products of a combination of darkness and intellectual curiousity that only wanted to find their places in the light again. But this doesn't stop him from making his own heroic last stand. And if he's perfectly honest with himself, he doesn't really want to be the last one standing anyway.

So, when the Keyblade Master finally shows up with the kings lackeys trailing behind him, he puts on his show, grinning and smirking through the entire battle as if he believes himself to be untouchable. He doesn't go easy on Sora because that would just be stupid, but gives it everything he's got. And when he goes down, he gives the hero the same cocky grin as usual, and takes that last moment to enjoy the frustrated confusion he sees on the brunette's overly familiar face.

Before his body fades, he sees Roxas one last time, hiding from his Somebody's notice even then, and finds himself wishing the blond--the only member who went willingly--a happy second chance.

He knows he won't be getting one.

A/N: So, uh, bonus points to whoever knows what video game I borrowed from to recreate Demyx' Other's life! Yeah. I'll just go...do something.