This is following my Shepard who was a space/war hero and picked Ashley for a love interest in the first one and stayed true to her in Mass effect 2. (though in my first play through I wasn't able to resist Miranda sorry but even as a chick I can say that she was hot!) Wrex is dead (tried to stop it but always failed for some reason) and obviously Kiaden is dead. though i didn't use the default settings for Sephard I will for the story so everyone can connect more. Okay so this is my first mass effect fan fic so please comment!!! I know there will be errors I'm not god and suck at spelling :D

Gone. Ashley Williams awoke with that single thought in her mind. How could he be gone? Maybe that wasn't Shepard she saw being hurled into space. She closed her eyes to block the image of watching his figure fade into the backdrop of space. What she could never forget was the feelings that lashed through her as she tried to get to him. Sure now she realized if she had tried to leave the escape pod everyone, including her, would be dead right along with Shepard. But then all she could think about was getting to him, saving him. Now she had to face the bitter reality that he was gone.

"Good to see you up." Chakwas' face loomed in her vision. It was evident the doctor had been doing her own share of mourning.

Ashley had to admit it was good to wake to a friendly face, but it wasn't the one she wanted. Rubbing her sore neck, she forced herself to sit up. Her limbs felt like lead and her head was pounding like a freight train. "Where am I?" She softly wondered searching her surroundings. It was some type of medical bay, but where they on another alliance ship? "And how did I get here?"

Chakwas looked away ashamed, "you didn't leave me any chose Williams." Because she was still angry with herself, she paced away from the bunk, "you weren't thinking straight. No one could calm you down, I mean you were ready to open the hatch and follow him to death. I had to sedate you, you've been under for almost a day."

She should have been angry, but the grief for the man she loved was too great. Swinging her legs to the side of the bunk she gripped the edge to keep her from falling forward. The grief and pain were so heavy that it was almost impossible to keep her balance. "He's really gone isn't he?"

As a woman she could hear the horror in her voice and knew that Ashley had cared for him more then just her commander. It wasn't like she hadn't already known. Shepard's quarters were across the wing from hers and had witnessed on more then on account Ashley sneaking by when she was sure everyone had retired for the night. Chakwas took a seat beside her doing her best to comfort, "the universe lost a great man. One that can never be replaced." Her throat tightened with tears once more. In her whole career she had never been so honored to serve with anyone except Commander Shepard. He was truly a one of a kind person, leader, and friend. One that could never be replaced in minds of the crew he left behind. The doctor swore no man would ever deserve her tears, but for Shepard she had oceans of them.

Tear's stung the Chief's eyes but she fought them tooth and nail. "It's my fault." She grinded out the words between her clenched jaw. She closed her eyes against the bitter emotions swirling inside her. She wished that she could have seen his face just that last time, so she that would be the last thing she remember of him. Not seeing him in that damn helmet. Wanted one more chance to memorize the face she already knew. "I should have helped him get joker out. Just maybe then he would still be here. Maybe-."

"If you did that then all the people you helped get out would be dead. Shepard would want to know that while he may have died his actions still saved dozens of lives." Chakwas whispered placing a hand on her shoulder. Her heart ached when she felt it shutter as the tears came.

Ashley knew what she said was true. If Shepard could he would save the galaxy and even give his life for the cause if he had to. That's what she loved about him. He would try to do the impossible, get people to follow him into battle, and save the galaxy and wanting no recognition in return. When he became a Specter he was humbled by the notion, but it wasn't something he threw into people's face to show how better he was then them. Now nothing he did would matter. She was pretty damn sure the new Council was already trying to throw smoke over his operations and even his death. They needed Shepard for all the wrong reasons and his death would put a snag in their plans. The geth and Reapers problem would fade from the news pages because with out man like Shepard there was no taking them down.

Her chest heaved and grief cut her at the knees as she finally processed what she was thinking. "He's gone." She whispered over and over again as the tears streamed down her face. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Shepard deserved a long life after everything he sacrificed. He saved so many lives from Elysium to the Citadel nearly dieing a dozen times in the process. Why was he to sruvie all of that to die now? Sobbing, Ashley pulled her legs to her chest and buried her face into Chakwas' shoulder. She had just lost the only man she loved and she wished she had died as well. There was no way should would be able to face life with out him. For the first time in her life she cursed God.

No the greatest thing but I had to write it down and see where it goes from there. Sorry its so short, but I wrote this on my lunch break. hope you enjoyed please comment good orbad I like them all!