1/06/2011 Fixed Intro

Märchen: Midwest Arc - Prologue

-This story began a long time ago, way before the boys were born and way before the predictable event that is about to unfold:-


Stan, aged 13 fresh out of 8th grade, sat directly across from Kyle, same age, on his bed anxiously awaiting a reply.

"So what, do you think" Stanley blushed as he backed away from Kyle's shocked expression. Mere seconds ago Stan gave Kyle an unexpected peck on the lips.

Kyle looked down on the bed, confused, but happy as all hell that he wasn't the only one of the pair who was feeling the sexual tension between them.

He looked up and smiled at his best friend with bedroom eyes and replied, "Why the fuck not?"


-Yet despite the tranquility present in this seemingly impenetrable and safe room, something has been brewing amongst them from quite some time that they are not even aware of. Unaware of this secret turbulence, it was actually a mere coincidence that the following took place during one sad summer day after the end of their sophomore year.-


"Kyle, that gay couple was killed last week in Littleton... I don't think we can keep doing this," he sighed, sounding quite hurt.

Kyle laughed, not believing him. "What, you think something will happen to us? Get real Stan, we have more balls that most people. We can take it, we made it this far!" He cheerfully patted Stan's back, but Stan didn't agree.

"No Kyle, this is serious." Stan looked directly at Kyle, the fire in the red head's eyes dimmed. "I would never be the same if something happened to you, especially if it had to do with me." He took Kyle's shoulders and told it to him straight. "We need to break up." Kyle just stared in disbelief.

Kyle's optimism quickly changed to anger. "You're not willing to take a chance? FUCK everyone, dude!" He shook Stan off of him. "Grow a pair! One incident can't tear us apart! It should make us stronger!" Kyle started to grow upset. "I'm willing to take that chance for you! I would do anything for you!" Stan stood still, his eyes were empty. Kyle hesitantly asked "wouldn't you?"

Stan looked up, exhaled. "Not if it means putting you in danger."

Kyle didn't even stay to hear him out. He ran. His world and his future were shattered. He was worthless now. His life with Stan was what kept him going. His career, family, and life were nothing if it meant Stan was not there share it all with him.


-With the clandestine chaos unknowingly starting to brew around them, the fates had apparently stepped aside for a brief moment to deem the poor raven haired teen unfit to continue his life with the well-mannered and tenacious redhead that day, but they also have given him a guardian angel to follow him during this time of doubt and uncertainty.-


"It didn't have to end so abruptly you know," the shadow behind Stan lectured.

Stan gasped and looked back surprised, but then moaned and put his head in his hands. "Yes it did Hen, you don't know the kind of pressure that's on me now."

Henrietta quietly sat next to him and started massaging his arm, "If you really believe that, then there is only one thing you can do now."

The raven-haired boy looked at his mistress eagerly, "What could I do now, I'm empty… there is nothing."

"Accept your conformity. You broke up with Kyle because you wanted to conform. You.."

"Oh stop it with the conformist shit!" he interrupted her as he abruptly stood up and started to walk away.

"Am I wrong?" She retorted, "why did you break up with Kyle in the first place? Did you really believe that something would happen to you? Or did you do it because it wasn't in your immediate reality? I'll tell you why you did it… you did it because of that.."

Stanley cut her off. "I did it because he doesn't deserve a pathetic fool like me," he replied.

Henrietta stood back and listened.

"Ugh, when I got that letter saying that I had a shot at becoming the Quarterback this year, I realized that this is the only shot I have at becoming someone. But then I realized at the same time, there is no chance in hell that I could be someone successful enough to be with him. He's gold, and I'm only tin," Stan stopped to catch his breath. "It had nothing to do with being caught or me not loving him. I love him so much I can't let him be with a dumb-ass jock like me."

The street lights flickered and Henrietta decided that Stanley was just being his normal, low-esteem self. She closed her eyes and started to walk towards him.

"Then as I said-" she placed her hand on his cheek as she approached him from the front. "-You need to accept your life of conformity. You will become the Quarterback of the Varsity Football team and thus the epitome of American High School Life." Henrietta embraced her dear friend as if he were about to fall down onto the street. His eyes started to tear, "I don't want that. I want Kyle… how can I become gold like him Hen?" He placed his head on her shoulder. "How can I get him back?"

Henrietta simply stated, "start realizing that you're actually worth something."


-Now…kept away from the malevolent tides starting to rise onto the fields of his home town comes the hero of this story. Understandably so, it must seem odd that someone as nefarious and obscene as Eric Cartman could be called a hero, yet returning home from an extended and quite dramatic school trip with his High School's debate team, this "nefarious and obscene" boy has experienced quite a few transformations that will ultimately lead to his final one.-


"I fell in love with her this summer Ken." Cartman confessed to his best friend. He had decided to go over to Kenny's house so that his mom wouldn't see him so bent out of shape. Luckily, Kenny had just come back from dying and did not have Kyle over.

Kenny nodded and admitted, "well Cartman to be honest it wouldn't have worked out, she thinks your disgusting."

"Heh, that would have been the case back in May. But this summer, we connected. Since we were the only two participants from our high school, we hung around each other a lot during the trip. We learned a lot about each other, and" Cartman stopped, "I totally fell for her… THAT FUCKING JACK ASS!" He abruptly rose from his chair. Kenny nervously eyed him, not wanting to say anything to enrage him further.

Cartman was unpredictable when he was mad, truly frightening. He certainly wasn't a pushover anymore. Along with his teenage years came a sadistic nature that could only be described as horrific. In middle school, Kenny spotted him torturing small animals and setting them on fire. He also noticed that Cartman had a lot of snuff pornography and more and more Nazi propaganda in his room.

"Er verdient sie nicht. Ich bin der, der sie mehr als jeder andere liebt," he softly whispered with a hint of despair.

Kenny suddenly calmed down. Cartman only spoke German when he was either mad as hell, horny as fuck, or abnormally heartbroken. It was a coping device for him. Speaking in a foreign language removed him from his immediate surroundings. This time Kenny knew the reason he was speaking German wasn't out of rage. He got out of his seat and walked over to Cartman who was looking out the window.

"It's going to be okay Cartman, I mean she was your opposite! Why did you fall in love with her anyway? You hated her, You thought she was the biggest bitch in the world," Kenny asked, trying to make light of the situation.

Cartman laughed sardonically, "I guess I have a tendency to fall for the people I hate." He bashfully looked away from Kenny.

"Yeah I guess you-" Kenny stopped and then came to a repulsive but genius idea.

"What?" Cartman looked back over to Kenny, noticing his pause.

Kenny thought about his next sentence. He thought about it long and hard. He didn't want to hurt Kyle, and letting Cartman know about Kyle's current situation could hurt him in more ways than one. But Kenny knew about San Francisco and all of the times Cartman snuck into Kyle's room at night- Butters has more than a loose ass. Needless to say, Kenny knew about Cartman's deep and frightening obsession with Kyle. Kenny thought that maybe there was a possibility that Cartman would change if it meant he could have Kyle all to himself. That in itself scared Kenny to death, but Kenny had some faith in hs estranged friend. That's because Kenny also knew about his love of cats and his beloved Clyde Doll. Maybe one day Kyle would join those ranks in Cartman's perverted little heart. So he took a chance.

"You know there was someone else who was hurt pretty bad when Stan asked out Wendy."

Cartman rolled his eyes, "Oh please Kenny." He moved to collect his things, "don't set me up with some girl that wanted to bang Stan. I can't compare with… that…" He stuttered when he realized that he was about to insult himself.

His pupils dilated. With his dark brown irises, his eyes resembled those of sharks. "Mutterficker…" Cartman growled.

Kenny gulped, "well, that's not really it…"

"Was ist es denn?" Cartman eyes panned back to Kenny. He was obviously ready to leave. Cartman had a lot of Rammstein to listen to and along with it, plenty of rage-filled masturbation. It was going to be one of those nights.

The blonde froze, he knew Cartman was in no mood to fuck around. But Kenny knew that this was serious. Sure Cartman might go home right now and listen to angry German music and jack off for a while, but what will he do afterwards with his pent-up sexual rage misdirected by clouded judgment? Kenny was certainly not going to put Wendy or even Stan in that sort of danger. There was only one person on Earth that Kenny knew Cartman would never kill on a whim. The one person that gave Cartman any sort of purpose in life.

"It wasn't a girl Cartman, Think about it, who loved Stan more than anyone else in the world? Who would be hurt most by this betrayal?" Kenny spelled it out for him, and then immediately regretted it. What did he just do to his poor Kyle?

Cartman thought about the riddle for only a mere second before his eyes lit up dramatically, as though he was given new life. He looked reborn, as if this whole Wendy thing had never even happened. A chance. A chance to finally bring his nemesis to a whole new level of pain and suffering. He wanted to smile maniacally, but couldn't yet.

"Nein…" he muttered with only an expression of shock. He only had suspicions that Stan and Kyle were fucking behind everyone's back. He didn't really believe it.

"Well…" Kenny tried to hurriedly undo his actions. "I mean, it's not like they were going ou-" he suddenly found himself pinned against the wall fighting for breath.

"DON'T LIE TO ME ASSHOLE!" Cartman's eyes were on fire, he wasn't going to let go. He whispered into Kenny's ear, "you will tell me everything about Stan and Kyle's secret little affair. If you lie, which I can tell if you do, Ich töte dich ohne eine reifliche Überlegung!"

Kenny reluctantly told Cartman about Stan and Kyle's romance and how Stan dumped Kyle because he was frightened by the hate crime in Littletown. Kenny couldn't believe that he originally thought this was a good idea. He knew Cartman wouldn't kill Kyle, but he knew Kyle would be in danger from Cartman's taunting. If Kyle found out Cartman was aware of his homosexuality and his relationship with Stan, that alone might kill him.

"…So I've been trying to help Kyle this summer with his depression. I thought that maybe you could help him because you seem to…" Kenny tried to add at the last second.

"So that's it!" Cartman cut him off, "Kyle's dreams have been shattered and now he's a pathetic snotrag! I win!" he let go of Kenny and finally started to laugh. "Ah.. I….I can't believe it!" he sputtered out. "Ich habe gewonnen!"

Kenny grew frustrated, "hey fat-ass, just five second ago you were crying about Wendy dumping your sorry ass! I don't think you've 'won' anything!"

"It's different Ken!" He was still laughing while trying to explain, "she would have never loved me! Stan LOVED Kyle! And now he doesn't! Hah! It's worse to have something and lose it than never having it at all!" he collapsed onto a chair, still laughing about the whole situation.

Kenny's eyes slimmed in disgust, "I disagree Cartman." He lowered his head and started to make his way towards his bedroom. "I take it back, Kyle could never find solace in a selfish asshole like you. I betrayed him."

"Oh he'll love me once I get him alone… hah… he'll love me to DEATH." Cartman snickered, obviously trying to ignite something within Kenny.

Kenny's heart sank into his stomach. Of all of the situations that played out in his head about Cartman being with Kyle, THAT is what he feared most. He ran back into the room where Cartman was and literally jumped on him, "LISTEN YOU SON OF A BITCH! IF YOU DO ANYTHING TO KYLE, OR TELL HIM I TOLD YOU ANYTHING, I WILL MAKE SURE YOU PAY!" He screamed, but he still didn't think he got his point across to Cartman, who was was still laughing. Kenny started to get physical by grabbing Cartman by his neck and attempting to raise him up out of the chair. He failed to do this, yet Kenny still caught the fat-ass's attention.

"CARTMAN! I told you about this in hopes that you and Kyle could somehow provide each other with some company while I'm not here! I understand now that my attempt was obviously in vain, but you better not do ANYthing to him. Got it?" He sternly lectured Cartman who still seemed to be in his own world.

Cartman easily escaped from Kenny's grasp. "Don't worry Kenny," he snarled. "I won't hurt your precious Kyle."

Kenny brushed himself off and snapped back, "I don't believe you."

Cartman gathered his belongings once more and made his way toward the exit, but he stopped and inhaled. He was so ecstatic he couldn't keep still. He callously looked back toward his 'best friend' with a look of sheer joy.

Cartman cracked a horribly evil and crooked smile, "Oh sorge dich nicht Kenny, ich habe andere Pläne. Erstaunliche und wundervolle Pläne für meinen lieben Freund Kyle."

Kenny tried to stop Cartman from leaving but quickly realized that he was growing weaker. He didn't realize he was dying until he collapsed onto the floor seconds later. He wouldn't able to stop Cartman.

Cartman was on his way to his house. He had many plans to make. He had to decide what he was going to do first with the now depressed and lonely Kyle Broflovski; so vulnerable, like putty in his massive and unforgiving hands. He's been waiting for an opportunity like this for years. What luck that this opportunity should come to him during such a low point in his life. He was determined to turn this low point into, quite possibly, the highest point in his life. All he could think about as he walked the summer streets of his hometown was…

Entscheidungen Entscheidungen...


THE GERMAN: Thanks to TerryxRage who has graciously corrected the German text!

*Er verdient sie nicht. Ich bin der, der sie mehr als jeder andere liebt - He doesn't deserve her. I love her more than anyone.

*Was ist es denn - What is it then?

*Nein - No

*Ich töte dich ohne eine reifliche Überlegung - I will kill you without a second thought.

*Oh sorge dich nicht Kenny, ich habe andere Pläne. Erstaunliche und wundervolle Pläne für meinen lieben Freund Kyle - Oh don't worry Kenny. I have different plans. Amazing and wonderfulle plans for my dear friend Kyle."

*Entscheidungen Entscheidungen - Decisions Decisions