"Oh, hello there. My name is Victor Po Narrator. Seeing that valentines day is not far away, I felt like telling you a story. A story filled with angst, joy, death, romance, laughs, and most importantly...words."

"What's the name of the stowee?" A young child in the audience inquired.

"The name of the story, you ask? Well, names aren't important, but I guess I'll tell you anyways. The name of this classic is 'The Classic Tail of Angst, Joy, Death, Romance, Laughs, and Words'." Victor said as he opened the book.

A girl raised her hand, "Don't you mean Tale, not Tail?"

"STFU!!!1! \/\/H0 DU U 7H1NK UR T4LK1N 2!?:(" Victor screeched as he shot the young girl with his lazer, "Now, onto the story."

"BOOM! SMASH! SKADASH!" a series of Onomatopoeia were seen flying across the morning sky of Central. Not much later...about three seconds to be precise, the camera panned over to a window. The window was green and it glistened with joy as the suns rays fell upon said window, and all was good...

"Screw that opening!" Ed said angrily while obviously breaking the fourth wall, "An opening is supposed to be cool! Here, how about this...Ed was standing in the middle of a street...and...there was an explosion...and hot chicks...and money...and a philosipher's stone, and all was good. :D"

Unfortunately for Ed, the opening remained the same. Not much later Scar appeared...randomly...out of the bakery across the street...with...bread.

"Elric? Edward Elric? The fullmetal Alchemist!" Scar said filled with rage as he dropped his loaf of bread and began to chase Ed. Scar chased Ed into a dead end. "You have nowhere to run to Fullmetal!"

"Are you kidding? Of course I can! Watch! I'm going to make a door right now! Can you help me make a door?" Ed said to the audience, "Come on say it! Say Transmute a door!"

"..." The audience said.

"..." Scar said.

"..." Ed said.

"Enough of this!" Scar yelled as he began to slowly walk towards Ed in a very malicious and cool manner. Ed stood still 'cause he's dumb like that. When scar was within arms reach, he pulled his hand out of his pocket.

Ed screamed like a sissy girl and then pissed his pants, "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! DON'T KILL ME! I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!"

Scar put a card in Ed's face. Ed looked up, and was shocked to see an extremely happy Scar...it was kinda sickening. "Will you be...MY VALENTINE!?"

Ed was shocked. Ed was slightly annoyed. Ed was angry. "ED SMASH!" Ed yelled...as he smashed Scar into tiny pieces. "OOOH! There's a lolipop in the card!"

~End and stuff~