Dear Faithful Readers:

So long without an update and when I do give you something, it's uncharacteristically short? I know, I'm the devil, aren't I? But I've been so busy all term! I'm wrapping this story up now, but there'll likely be an epilogue in the HOPEFULLY not too distant future. Thanks to those who have stayed with me writing this. I've really enjoyed it!

Becky

-

Chapter 7

Waking up the next day felt to Morgan almost akin to watching the news the morning after a large-scale natural disaster. You know that the worst is over, and that aid crews are busy cleaning up the place and offering support even as you watch it unfolding on the television screen, but that doesn't change the fact that it's still just as big a mess in the light of day as it was when you went to sleep the night before. Nothing has really changed that much while you've been dreaming that it never happened…

It felt unnatural for him not to be with her, knowing what she'd experienced, and that her motel room was mere steps away… and yet, there was a barrier between them now, newly erected and intimidating in stature. She'd begun to feel concern and empathy for her captor and the man who had shot him, this Pace, while he had spent the past few days conjuring his face to mind only to curse it over and over again. He was the man who had destroyed his perfect happiness in her apartment that night: dancing with her, ready to confess his love to her… and how could he reconcile that? How could they come to discuss what had happened? Their opinions just seemed to be too different. He couldn't see it from her point of view!

On the other hand, he had to remember what he had promised Rossi in exchange for his bringing her home: he was supposed to tell her that he loved her.

He'd been considering that.

He knew Rossi wouldn't hold him to it. He'd been worked up and afraid, not knowing if she was alive or dead… But honestly, it was not as though the statement were any less true now than it had been when he'd made that promise, and certainly he didn't think Pace to be a threat to him in a romantic sense… He still loved her, after all! …And yet, he faltered. Where did he begin? He couldn't very well waltz into her room and say, "Heya, Baby Girl. I missed you lately. Where ya been?" No, there had to be a way to do things right… There had to be a way to tell her… And yet even as he was determining this, she had determined that no such omnipotent 'way' existed, and had gathered the courage to come right to his door and confront him at, Jesus Christ, 4 am—not that he'd actually been sleeping.

Good Lord, what he'd do for half her balls sometimes…

-

Garcia wasn't surprised to see Morgan open the door in the jeans he'd been wearing the day before, if notably sans shirt (con bandages). She herself had had to physically drag herself into the shower, before changing back into her same old clothes, lacking anything else at all to wear, the night before. That in and of itself had hardly bothered her at the time, exhausted as she had been, but now, as he looked her up and down, she became painfully aware of his dried blood splattered on the pretty top and skirt she'd worn to dinner that night. She winced at his obvious notice of it.

"I had nothing…" she began to explain, but he waved off her excuses.

"…It's okay."

Garcia smiled slowly and followed Morgan into the room, closing the door quietly behind her. Morgan then sat down on the edge of the bed and gestured for her to sit beside him. Cautiously, she did so, and blushing as her shoulder brushed his bare bicep, she was all of a sudden more than thankful for the dark.

"Did he— Did Pace treat you well enough?" Morgan asked quietly, trying very hard to empathise with her distress over the man's arrest. Garcia merely shrugged half-heartedly.

"Not something I could handle long-term…" she joked in a weak sort of way, raising an eyebrow at him. "Those pesky kidnappers really know how to spoil a good date!" Morgan chuckled softly, but she caught his seriousness beneath it all. "I'm fine, Derek. I wasn't treated badly by normal kidnapping standards." She said the word 'kidnapping' as though still struggling to believe it had really occurred. "And… I mean, yeah, there were times that I was scared, but…"

"I'm sorry."

Garcia stopped suddenly and shook her head, reaching for Morgan's hand, which she squeezed tight. "Don't be. It's not your fault," she assured him. "He had a gun, you didn't. I don't know what I would have done if you'd been hurt more badly, so don't be hardheaded, okay? All's well that ends well."

Morgan raised an eyebrow comically, a direct mirror of her own action, which caused her to laugh a little. "You call this ending well, Baby Girl?" he scoffed incredulously.

"And you don't?" she replied, equally so. "From where I stand, it could have ended a lot worse!" She shook off his consequent attempt at seriousness. "…You know, it might actually end very well indeed if you happened to be interested in finishing what we started that night?" she suggested quietly.

"You want to dance, baby girl?" he teased, and she laughed.

"I want you to tell me that you love me, like I know you were just about to when we were kissing in my apartment," Garcia clarified frankly, before her voice turned to a tease. "And then, when your poor stomach can handle it, I want to try what would inevitably have followed if we'd gone on as we were…"

Morgan grinned widely. "I love you, Baby Girl."

A happy sigh escaped Garcia at that. "Oh, my chocolate Adonis," she whispered fondly. "It was all so worth it to hear you say that! I love you too."

-

JJ smiled as she hung up her phone (which she had had to fight to be allowed to bring into the ward), and cast an affectionate glance across Emily's still form. "They're all okay, Em," she whispered, smoothing a hand over her pale forehead, brushing away the dark strands of hair that marred it.

"That's good," Emily replied quietly, surprising JJ as she opened her eyes. "Penelope?"

"Virtually unharmed," JJ told her. "I was just on the phone to Morgan."

"How's he doing?"

"I don't know if any of it's quite sunk in yet. He sounded almost dazed," said JJ. "Hotch is still in a hospital over in Virginia, but he should be fine. Rossi is staying with him, and Penelope and Morgan are flying back this afternoon."

Emily paused momentarily to take this in, her breath coming more quickly than usual, but less noisily than it had been. "How soon will we be out of here?"

"You'll have at least another 3 days on and off the oxygen in here, and then they'll probably send you home with some sort of inhaler," JJ replied slowly.

"What about you?" asked Emily, realising the distinction immediately.

JJ frowned guiltily. "I've already been cleared to go," she admitted, but far from being jealous or angry, Emily smiled, relieved.

"Good," she said honestly.

"I'm sorry."

"Why?"

JJ flustered anxiously. "I didn't know you'd be worse off for being the one hammering the window. If I had known... obviously I would have done it. I mean, in retrospect it's so obvious, but…"

"Thank God you didn't know," Emily responded plainly. "…I'm stronger than you anyway."

JJ frowned, and then laughed. "You're right. I'm weak," she agreed readily. "I'm glad you're all right, Em."

"So am I," Emily replied, smiling as JJ leaned down to kiss her. "I never want to know what I'd do without you."

JJ found herself startled by the sudden intimacy of that statement, but managed to respond regardless. "Why would I ever leave you?"

Emily appeared to notice the hesitation. "Jayj, are you…? You know, I never expected…" she trailed off uncertainly, then launched back in. "If you feel like you owe me for this or something, then don't. I don't expect anything from you. Who could hold someone accountable for a promise they made under fear of death?"

"That's not—!"

"Don't lie to me, JJ."

For almost a minute, JJ could fathom no response. "Em…" she said quietly, eventually. "Okay… I'm not going to pretend like I'm not deeply attracted to you, because I am, but…"

"It's okay," Emily replied, breathing out slowly. "I know that I've forced this on you. I'm sorry."

"No, you didn't, Em! …And, Jesus, it's not even that I don't love you. It's just that, well… We almost died only days ago, you know? I don't think this is the time to be making decisions like this. I mean, we've been kissing, and I like that, it reassures me that you're really here and okay… but I need to know that there's something else behind that desire. I've been thinking, Em, and… well, what I think is that we should wait."

"…Jayj, don't do that to me. Don't let me hope if there is no hope."

"But there is!" JJ protested honestly. "I just need to understand this better. I don't usually do things like this… I'm not gay, Em! It's just you. And I'm struggling with the idea that I seem to be designed for you. That I can't realistically see myself with any other person."

"I'm struggling not to lean up and kiss you," Emily replied bluntly, frowning at JJ's blush. "I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, or rush your decision out of any sort of selfish impatience, Jayj. It's just that if you don't tell me 'no' soon, I don't know if I can go back to being just friends with you. My mind appears to be cementing this idea of you and I as something more and… I really don't want things to become awkward between us. In whatever capacity you want me, I'll be there. I need to be with you… but if you're going to tell me to back off, we need to set some boundaries quickly."

"Or we could just see how it goes?"

Emily cringed at the suggestion.

"…Em?"

"I can't be so casual about this. I can't," she said firmly, and then she sighed. "I never meant to tell you. I shouldn't have…"

All at once JJ felt her heart break. "No, don't say that," she begged. "I'm glad you did."

Emily brought her eyes up to JJ's. "Why?" The eye contact was firm, serious.

JJ flustered. "Because—! Because we don't have secrets, Em! I mean… Well, I don't want us to."

Emily sighed quietly.

"Em, don't be like that, it's true!" JJ protested. A sceptical eyebrow raised, causing JJ to shift uncomfortably. "What? Em? Tell me what's wrong!"

"When I was six I killed a small bird and instead of sending me to a psychiatrist, my mother sent me to my priest who told me I had the devil in me and I needed to devote myself to repentance, even though she knew well that it was an early warning sign of sociopathy. I just did it for attention. When I was twelve I lost my virginity at a party because I thought that everyone else thought it was cool. They just thought I was a slut. When I was fifteen I aborted a baby and was excommunicated from my church—"

"Emily, this is ridiculous! Stop trying to shock me!" JJ cried, silencing her. "Do you think I'm ever going to think any less of you because of what happened in the past? In case you haven't noticed, I'm not like that!"

"I've wanted you since I met you," Emily finished determinedly. "That makes you uncomfortable, doesn't it? The first time we met I stared at your ass as you walked away. I thought you were gorgeous. …You were just feeling sorry for me, because Hotch was being an asshole." She smiled weakly.

JJ didn't deny it. "You really thought that?" Emily nodded silently. "…And, uh… When did you start loving me? Do you know? Is that a weird question?"

"Can you think of a moment?"

JJ was certainly awkward now, but she held Emily's gaze firmly, searchingly. Eventually she gave a slight nod. "I don't know," she said contradictorily. "Maybe? I thought… I thought that maybe something was different after Reid was taken. I really needed you then. Maybe it was just my emotions getting the better of me…"

"No," Emily protested. "That's what I thought of too. Could we perhaps be thinking about the same thing? And therefore, maybe be feeling the same thing too?"

JJ shied from the logic. "How did you know?" she asked uncertainly, leaning forward a little. "I mean, where are the flashing lights? Fireworks?"

Emily also leaned forward, placing her cheek against JJ's lightly and sliding her opposite hand against her throat. Finding the other woman's pulse, she brought JJ's hand up to that spot. "Love may make us blind, but you can feel them, can't you? The fireworks drumming under your skin…"

JJ tugged her hand away from her own neck and immediately sought out Emily's pulse point, pressing two fingers to it firmly, desperately. Emily breathed in deeply and JJ allowed herself to become enfolded within Emily's soft, unassuming embrace, closing her eyes and breathing in deeply. "I hope I'm in love with you too…" she said, so quietly that Emily almost didn't hear…

"I seem to have missed quite a lot," came Garcia's familiarly cheeky tone, causing both women to look up quickly.

"Penelope!" both exclaimed, ignoring the dark man standing behind her, a hand resting protectively on her back.

Emily frowned at Morgan. "You said you wouldn't be back 'til the afternoon."

"I wanted to surprise you," he laughed, grinning widely.

"Pen, are you okay?" JJ gushed, standing and hurrying over to hug her dear friend. "We've been so worried!"

"It's been hard not to think the worst," Emily admitted quietly from her bed.

It hardly took a moment, but Garcia dissolved immediately into tears at that. "What about you! I can't believe she did that! You guys! I promise I didn't know, or I would have done something! I would have found some way to come home, no matter what!!"

Emily smiled wryly, shaking her head as Garcia leaned down to hug her tearfully. "We're fine. Really."

"You sound awful, both of you," she sniffled.

Emily and JJ shared an amused glance and shrugged simultaneously. They hardly noticed it anymore.

"We're fine," JJ repeated. "Emily's only got a few more days in here." Suddenly something seemed to strike her. "Emily! I wasn't supposed to keep you talking so long! You should have stopped me!"

Garcia laughed (or maybe sobbed) aloud at the indignant manner in which this was spoken. "More protective even than usual it seems, Jayj," she teased, sniffing quietly. "Hotch told me you guys were getting pretty cosy over here…"

"Hotch!" JJ exclaimed, glancing at Emily guiltily. "I can't believe it!"

"Don't worry," Garcia assured her with a wink as she glanced up at Morgan. "We've been getting pretty cosy ourselves..."

"Wow! Don't hurt yourself, Morgan!" Emily immediately teased in reply. "Still pretty fragile, aren't you? Might not be able to keep up with our Pen…"

Morgan scoffed loudly, causing Emily and JJ to laugh.

"You take care of him," JJ advised, grinning.

"Of course I will."

"So, you and Emily, JJ?" Morgan clarified, shaking his head. "Garcia tells me it's always been obvious, but I never really pegged…"

JJ blushed darkly, and Emily saved her from answering firmly. "We're considering it," she replied, settling a reassuring hand over JJ's on the bed. "We'll…" she paused, before reluctantly repeating JJ's words: "We'll see how it goes."

JJ herself frowned here. It sounded unfair from Emily's mouth. She squeezed her hand tight, drawing her confused attention.

"Jayj?"

JJ leaned over and kissed her soundly, not giving her time to respond before pulling away. It took a few moments for the smile to spread across Emily's face, but when it did, it was as bright as she'd ever seen it. "Thanks," she said quietly.

"How did you never see that?" Garcia erupted suddenly to Morgan. "It's so clear! Look at them!"

When JJ and Emily turned to Morgan he was nodding, a large grin on his face.

"You're right, you're right, of course," he acknowledged. "Very cute."

JJ appeared embarrassed but Emily merely looked smug. "So I keep telling her," she agreed lightly.

A nurse at the door interrupted them. "I'll need 30 minutes with the patient if you could all be convinced to take a coffee break…?"

"Of course," Garcia agreed, taking Morgan's hand as he looked likely to protest. "Jayj…?"

Emily had reached out and taken her hand. "Could she stay?" she asked sweetly. "I'd like my very important person to always be with me."

The nurse looked sceptical.

"I'll just go for a few minutes," JJ asserted. "I'll find out how the case wrapped up and come tell you, okay?"

"Parting is such sweet sorrow," Emily sighed, causing JJ to laugh.

"Melodramatist."

"Melodramatist madly in love with you."

JJ shook her head, smiling. "30 minutes," she said, and left with the others.

"Cute girlfriend you have there," the nurse commented as she left. "Fiery. A real keeper."

Emily nodded happily, holding her arm up for the nurse to wrap the blood pressure cuff around it. "I'll keep her as long as she lets me," she agreed.

The nurse smiled, giving her arm a pat as she pulled the cuff tight. "I wouldn't worry, love," she assured her. "That one doesn't look like she's going anywhere."