For want of a nail the shoe was lost,
for want of a shoe the horse was lost,
for want of a horse the knight was lost,
for want of a knight the battle was lost,
for want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
So a kingdom was lost - all for want of a nail.

The Enterprise was relatively quiet during its slumber hours. The ship's controls were set to mimic the sun cycle of earth, therefore making the transition from ship to shore much easier for its inhabitants. One said inhabitant couldn't quite sleep, couldn't quite turn her mind off. Nyota Uhura had never been a sound sleeper, nor did she ever require much sleep. Even when she was a baby, her mother always said that she was the most difficult, because sleep just never came for her. Spock, early in their physical relationship, and being the ever-observant creature that he was, also noted this quaint idiosyncrasy and questioned if she had Vulcan in her lineage. She'd taken her index finger, tapped him playfully on the nose, and went back to whatever topic she'd been studying on her PADD.

It wasn't that Nyota didn't enjoy sleep, she just didn't require as much as the average human being. So, on nights when she simply couldn't keep herself still, when her brain simply wouldn't shut up, when the noises in her quarters were driving her mind-numbingly insane, she would walk the halls of the Enterprise until reaching her favorite, quiet destination: Observation Deck 1-Alpha. The Enterprise was comprised of a number of observation decks on 78 different decks, but this one was her favorite. This particular deck was slotted within the Alpha Wing of the ship, which consisted of mostly Bridge crew. It was also placed in a strange catty-cornered area, which some people didn't enjoy, but Nyota found to be a better panoramic than that of a strictly boxed observation; on this deck you got an extra corner of the stars. It was truly a place where a person could go and clear their mind without having to worry about forced conversation or rowdy revelers.

Spock was sleeping, which was a rare feat. When the Vulcan slept, he was like a hibernating bear. He rarely slept; much like herself, but when he did exhaustion was ambient and pulled him down into the abyss of sleep. His soft, warm inhalation and exhalations along with a tiny sound resembling a purr in the back of his chest alerted Nyota that he was in the middle of his REM cycle. She smiled knowing that she could slip free from his warm grasp and sneak away to the observation deck without him stirring. She slipped wistfully from his grasp, donned a pair of his gray Starfleet sweats along with the overly-large t-shirt she was currently wearing of his and shuffled out of the door.

When she did this, she didn't race down the hall. The halls of the Enterprise at this time were clear, so she strolled. It was moments like this, when she took the time to slow down that she realized that she was on a space ship, the flagship, the USS Enterprise. Her dream realized, her goals achieved, frightening and calming, a wealth of juxtaposed feelings, now she needed to set new goals and achieve new dreams. Maybe she and Spock would officially bond one day, get married, have a family, but she doubted that. She and Spock were not the family type, she couldn't quite see herself giving up these gleaming white halls whizzing through space faster than the speed of light for a small house in the 'burbs. A ship wasn't a place to raise a family. Nyota wasn't foolish; she knew that no one could have everything.

The door to the observation deck slid open and a smile crept to her face. The view of the stars always made her skin thrum with excitement. No, she thought, I can't see myself with a small house in the suburbs and some quarter-Vulcan kids. I want this and need this.

"Is the view not pleasing, Lieutenant?" she hadn't noticed that she wasn't alone. Jim Kirk, her Captain, her rather competent leader, a man who had changed her initial impression. She and Kirk didn't speak much since the Academy days, and they really didn't converse much then either. Most of their conversations consisted of him sexually harassing her and her brushing him off with cool, confident ease. Now, he and Spock shared a burgeoning friendship, which had escalated from a mushroom cloud of disdain on the part of both of them. Spock would never admit to having that particular emotion, but it was there.

"No sir, why do you ask?" Uhura responded.

"Call me Jim, and you were shaking your head."

"I was thinking, that's why I come up here. When I can't seem to…"

"Shut my mind off," they said in unison, letting their eyes meet one another for the first time that night, possibly the first time in months. They were silent, but it was comfortable, much like sharing a breath in conversation with an old friend.

"I would imagine that you never get time to really stop."

"And you would be correct. There are still some days I wander these halls and in complete shock that I'm here and I'm the fucking Captain. This is my ship, my people. At first it was overwhelming… now, it's still overwhelming," Kirk let out a sigh leaning his forearm against the transparent aluminum of the observation pane. Uhura moved forward, standing still slightly behind him, but closer than she was before.

"You're doing a good job," she said, and he was. He was doing a stellar job. He was exactly the type of leader Starfleet needed. He didn't micromanage; he knew his people's strengths and weaknesses and let them do their jobs. He mourned when there were men lost, he praised when praise was due. Kirk, at the very heart of him, was a Humanist. It took a few moments for Uhura's words to sink in and then she saw his heard turn quickly, those baby blues hopeful and twinkling, and that dashing smile returned to his face.

"Thank you," it was probably the most genuine statement of gratitude that Uhura had ever heard. It warmed her heart and she smile in spite of herself. Kirk could always get a smile out of her; it was part of his charisma.

"So," he said turning to her with that mischievous Kirk grin, "what does your ever-logical boyfriend say about you leaving your consensual bed of sin and trekking down to Ob-1-Alpha?"

"Consensual bed of sin? Just when I think you've matured," she trailed off and stepped closer, rolling her eyes.

"You're wearing his clothes, Lieutenant Uhura; you look like a little girl trying on her daddy's clothes. Adorable, I might add."

"Jealousy doesn't suit you, Jim," she countered back, memories from their past at Starfleet flying through her head.

"It was a fair trade, I think. I got the ship and he got the girl," Kirk shrugged.

"You can't have everything," she said, now standing directly beside him. They both turned back to observe the stars, another comfortable silence ambient.

"I don't believe that," Kirk said, not looking at her. Uhura crossed her arms over her chest and chortled, turning her head sides, eyeing him with an upturned eyebrow. Kirk didn't even look over.

"Oh yes, Mr. I-don't-believe-in-No-win-scenarios. However, this is a universal truth, you can't always get what you want, Kirk. And no matter what you do, this is life you cannot change the conditions of this test."

"Spock did… I mean, the other Spock," Kirk turned to look at her, smug.

"Do you really want to spend the rest of your life cheating?" she countered.

"Yes. If it means turning death into a fighting chance to live, if it means saving just one life, if it means getting to use your first name, if it means I get to have everything I want, then yes," his eyes were cerulean and sober, sparkling like sapphires in the dim lights of the observation deck.

"What do you want, Jim?" Uhura asked.

"Everything."

"All or nothing?"

"All or nothing. I want the ship and I want the girl. I want to know my father and I want him to be a dead hero. I want a family and a farm and I never want to give up the Enterprise for such a provincial life."

"Then you have to choose. You always have to choose."

"It's a real trip being in both the future and the past."

"How is that any different from any other day?"

"None of this fazes you? You don't sit there and wonder what the other you was like? What you and Spock were like? All the things you lost, all the things you gained, just from a tiny paradigm shift, our lives are different," he's not looking at her now, he looking out into the depths of space. She's exasperated; this is an old subject that she doesn't feel like rehashing.

"For want of a nail, the kingdom was lost," she said quietly and he looks up at her, furrowing his brow.

"What?"

"It's a proverb that's been around for centuries; permitting one small undesirable situation will allot for a measured and inevitable worsening."

"The Butterfly Effect," Kirk snorted.

"It's what you're proposing, so that you can experience everything, all of your realities. The only problem is that you can't see past your own want to notice the consequences of playing with something bigger than you. In this case, the case of all of us on the ship, all of those who died in the Battle of Vulcan, Gaila, Spock's mom, billions of Vulcans, the ends do not justify the means. Yes, Ambassador Spock had good intentions, and if he believed in Hell then he's probably there now. Because, not only did his small want for a nail lose the shoe, it most definitely lost the kingdom and both Spock's have to live with it. I could never live with that kind of guilt, I could never reason, or logic, or Kolinahr it away."

She's grabbing his hands now, squeezing them, her voice so wrought with emotion that she can barely contain its volume. He is sure he had never seen her so out of control or so honestly worried. He quietly wonders how Spock could handle such raw, beautiful emotion. She was so feminine, so strong and yet so vulnerable. He'd never seen it before, but she loved with her heart on her sleeve and she loved deeply and thickly. Though she probably couldn't put a name on what she felt for her crew mates, he knew it was more than just friendship. And right there, with her hands squeezing his and candid passion flowing from her mouth, Jim Kirk realized the Nyota Uhura truly loved him, cared for him deeply, admired him enough to stop the ache of insecurity that flowed from not believing he should be the true Captain of the Enterprise.

"You're a Captain of the fucking flagship USS Enterprise, Jim, you have everything, everything in your destiny set right by someone who needed not to fail, you. You're here because of decisions you made, because of choices whether right or wrong you made. So what if you had a relationship with your father in that other reality and he was inspiration. You found new inspiration, Jim, and still from your father just not his life, his death. There may be similarities in personality traits, but it all boils down to the choices we make. Ambassador Spock and the alternate Uhura were never like Spock and I now… I should say Spock never acted on it. We never met before our time on the Enterprise in that reality. Spock and I have known each other since the Academy, since right before I met you. Do you honestly think that I would trade our love, despite everything that happened? I can't even think that way. It doesn't matter what happened in our other realities, this is my reality, alternate or no."

She was breathing deeply and tears stung her eyes but she refused to cry, biting them back with a deep swallow. Kirk was staring at her, his eyes a blank, blue abyss. She could see the wheels turning in his head, mulling over what she'd said. He looked so different from the brazen, confident man that slouches back in the Captains chair on the bridge. She knew he was a genius, but she never guessed that he was this cerebral, this pensive. He was the quintessential Byronic Hero: sexy, broken, brooding, and arrogant. Nyota was thoroughly convinced now that in another world, she loved Kirk. Hell, she loved him now or felt something akin to love starting to bud. She wondered how she never saw how he was so scared and intimidated by his own assailing to the Captain's chair. Though Kirk wanted the Enterprise and rightfully had her, he would do anything to go back and rectify the way he'd taken her. He'd robbed Spock of his chance to command to have what, to Kirk, every Starfleet officer desired. Kirk could steal things, but he could not rob. Nyota wondered if Kirk had ever explained this to Spock when they were playing chess. She wondered if Spock explained to him that he had no desire to command.

"You've had this conversation before, I take it," Kirk said, squeezing her hands and smiling warmly.

"You have no idea. You and Spock are more alike than either of you would care to admit," she pulled her hands away from his and sighed, glad that Kirk had returned to his mask of charm that he wore perfectly. It really wasn't a mask, it was him, and he reasserted it whenever he didn't want to appear weak. He was a Captain after all.

"Really? How so?" Kirk said, rubbing his hands over the spots of his knuckles where Nyota had grabbed.

"You're both stubborn, you're both extremist, you're both foolish, and brash, and cocky, and neither of you have any idea what you want, but despite all of those flaws you're both genius and fantastic at your jobs, and despite the odd pairing, work amazingly well together."

"With all those similarities, why him and not me?" Kirk finally asked the question that had been hanging between them sense the big reveal on the transporter pad.

"I met him first," she state flippantly.

"Love at first sight, huh? I don't buy that, he was a risk the first day you met. I was never a risk. Why him and not me?"

"Just because you were never my instructor doesn't mean that you were never a risk, Jim."

"So you thought about it?" he's staring directly into her eyes, like he does when he's dressing them down. She stares right back, unlike the 1000 yard stare that she was taught to give in Starfleet. They are not Captain and Lieutenant; they are just man and woman at the moment.

"It had crossed my mind, but as I said, I met him first."

"You've given a reason to figure out this time-travel butterfly effect bullshit. I want to be first."

"You want everything, remember," he smirked at this.

"Indeed I do, like an answer to my question, why him and not me?" Kirk asked through the smirk.

"Because he wanted me for my intelligence first and foremost," she was going to continue her rant and was interrupted by a guffaw that shot straight from Kirk's gut. She glared daggers at him.

"I call bullshit. Did he tell you that? Trust me, the first thing Spock liked about you was not your brain. He may be Vulcan but he's still a man and he wanted to fuck you, just like every other man that has ever met you since you got boobs."

"You sound like Gaila."

"Gaila was a mastery of the male sex. She was truly an exquisite lady."

"And you used her to cheat on the Kobayashi Maru," she spat out, still a little upset about his Spock rebuff.

"I did, but we're not talking about me, we talking about you and Spock and why you picked him over me," he's standing at his full height, giving her his best seductive stare. It works for her, but she's so annoyed by now that she couldn't care less about how penetrating his eyes are or how he knows exactly how to tilt his head to make a woman's heart flutter just a bit.

"I've given you more than enough reasons."

"Yeah, but they weren't sufficient enough to form a sample set. I need more. Come on, throw me a bone. Tell me you had a teacher/student fetish, or that you like pointed ears, or that your favorite color is green, something that doesn't sound like pre-destined lovers, yada-yada-yada, because I know you don't believe in that."

"Fine," she leaned in closer to him, playing his game back at him. She eased her body so close that her breasts were almost touching his chest and he could feel the humidity of her breath against her ear as she whispered the words.

"I wanted him to fuck me. Not the way I wanted to fuck you the first time I met you, but in a totally different way. I wanted him to fuck me. I wanted to see if I could break down all of that Vulcan control and have him just lose himself all over me. And I got my wish. Because the day he did lose all of his control, baby, not even that scene on the bridge when you talked about his mother can compare to what he did to me. He fucked me until I passed out, Jim. This was two months before I met you. So, as I said in my first answer, I. Met. Him. First," she flicked her tongue out to his ear with the last word and then back away just out of his personal space to meet his eyes. To her surprise they weren't wide or round, just normal, amused blue eyes.

"Lying does not become you, Uhura?" he said, and she playfully punched him on the shoulder.

"I cannot believe I just told you that. I hope you got what you wanted," she smiled annoyed but amused as well. It was quiet for a while, allowing for a break in the sexual tension that Uhura's story had just provided.

"What do you want, Uhura?" he asked, both of them still eye to eye. She finally blinks, closes her eyes and smiles ridiculously wide.

"Everything, just like you, just like Spock. But unlike you two fools, I accept that I can't have everything. I make a decision and I don't look back. It may be the wrong decision it may be the right one, but I refuse to live my life in what-ifs. I like what is."

"He's lucky to have you, does he know that?"

"He does."

"Is the feeling mutual?"

"It is."

"Could you ever love me, Uhura, the way you do Spock?" he asked, his eyes softening. She thought about the question. She did love him; she would die for him as she knew he would her. She desires Kirk at times, though he frustrated her. And part of her mind shouted that she didn't know what kind of way she loved Spock, though she knew she couldn't be happy without him.

"Could you ever give up the Enterprise for me?" she asked. He exhaled.

"Maybe in another lifetime," he said and she chuckled and they both shared a laugh. It was silent again, but outside of the observation deck they could both hear the ship coming to life. Soon, their time for conversing would be over. He would be Captain and she Lieutenant once more, but they just had to have one last fleeting moment before returning to those roles.

"I chose him because," she spoke up thru the silence, he turned to look at her with inquisitive eyes, "he was the first thing I needed that I didn't want and that's the truth." She started to walk towards the exit.

"How is that any different from me?"

"You're the first thing I wanted and didn't need."

"So you got the best deal. You get the Enterprise, its Captain, and the First Office right here" he said, making a motion like he's wrapping something around his pinky.

"In this reality, I think we all got everything we needed," she turned, the door opening behind her until she heard him speak.

"I agree, Uhura" he watched the last fleeting sway of her hips in rolled up, baggy man sweats.

"Jim," she said his name with warmth and joy. He acknowledged her with his ever-cool nod.

"Yes?"

"You can call me Nyota," she smiled and exited, the door whishing closed behind her. He smiled, shook his head, now he had everything.