Fearless

A KuroxFai, Tsubasa: RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE one-shot.

Rated T for violence and gore.

Disclaimer: I do not own TRC, but I do own my plot. Don't steal!

Author's Note: So it's been awhile since I've published anything. Especially for TRC. This fic didn't turn out at all like I wanted it to, but I still like it the way it is now. I guess I'll have to keep trying for the specific outcome I wanted. Haha, I feel like I'm having a baby. xP It's like I'm trying to have a boy, but I just keep on popping out girls. Bad reference. Gomenasai.

Anyways: Hajime!

He's fearless; from the day that his mother and father had been killed by the monster in Suwa, he has been fearless. He never wants to shed tears like that again; he never wants to feel such searing pains coursing through his skin. So instead, he keeps a few people who he cannot afford to lose, close to his side or tucked away behind his defences. And for those whose lives don't mean much to him, he pushes them away, forcing them into point blank hatred.

And that is exactly what he tries to do to Fai. He pries into Fai's history because he knows that it will tick him off. He acts cold and callous and violent. And he tries ever so hard to forget that he doesn't care about the mage; and not because he doesn't want to, but because he honestly just cannot. Because if he cares about the mage, then he cares about the children and if he cares about the children, he cares about the manjuu bun. And if he cares about Fai, the children and the manjuu bun, than that is 4 too many people he has to care about; 4 too many people he has to take care of; and 4 too many people he will now have to defend with his life. All in all, 4 too many people he is scared to lose. So he convinces himself that he is alright with 3. All he needs are Tomoyo, Amaterasu and Soma. Now if only he could find his way back to them.

---

Fai believes that Kurogane is fearless. For he is tricked by Kurogane's outer appearance and is too busy worrying that he might accidentally expose himself, that he doesn't try to read the real Kurogane. Sure, sometimes he makes comments like: "Kuro-puu is blushing," and other silly things like that, but those are merely based on wild guesses. Kurogane isn't actually blushing, but once he says it, he sure does start to. Oh how he loves to make the ninja blush.

He also loves to get other emotions out of him: anger, embarrassment, annoyance, jealousy, competitiveness etc. The only one he hasn't succeeded in making a rise out of is fear; although he's tried many times (popping out behind corners and such), Kurogane does not get scared. Then again, he supposes that a trained ninja assassin is not and would not be frightened of a man wearing a bed sheet over his head. So far, Kurogane has proved to be fearless.

But Fai thinks - for someone like himself: a coward - it isn't much to say that Kurogane is fearless. For someone who hides behind a mask and runs around through dimensions to escape from some guy who is still sleeping in a case underwater, anyone but himself is fearless; which is why Fai thinks that Kurogane is brave as well.

---

The horn sounds and thousands of battle cries are heard around them as the frontlines from both sides charge toward each other, weapons at the ready. Kurogane is quiet, Fai observes. He looks peaceful and concentrated. He also has the slightest hint of a smirk on his face.

Under his breath, Fai mutters, "don't get too cocky, the battle has only just begun."

Kurogane is a little surprised that Fai knows anything about battle, but nonetheless, he erases any trace of a smirk.

---

The two of them don't exactly know where they are. After they had decided to continue on their journey to find the princess's feathers, they had visited other worlds. Each time they had found a feather, they would return to Clow Country, give the feather to Sakura-hime and spend the night making preparations for the day ahead. So far nobody had been hurt too badly; nothing that couldn't be healed by the priest, Yukito.

This was the forth or fifth world they had landed in. As soon as they had landed, they had been given direct orders to stand in the second command line. Syaoran was told to bring the wounded to the nursing station. They didn't know who or what they were fighting for. They didn't even know where.

---

Kurogane notices that both forces are pretty much equal, but his side is just a tiny bit more graceful and fluid. And this difference in technique, although seemingly insignificant, could determine this battles winner.

A horn blasts from the offending side and their second line is rushing forward. Moments later, their own horn blasts and Kurogane lunges forward, ready for battle. He leaps to and fro, over the corpses of beaten men as he slashes Souhi from left to right. He makes himself numb. Numb to the cries of death surrounding him; numb to blood that splatters onto his arm; numb to the feeling of dead bodies squishing beneath his feet; numb to the smell of rotting flesh; numb to the thought of the families who are waiting for their husbands', sons', fathers', nephews', uncles' and brothers' returns. He makes himself his number one priority (and Fai too, but he doesn't admit it to himself). He has to live. If he doesn't live, who will protect those 3 (or 7) special people?

In and out. In and out. One, two, three. Where's number four? Ah, behind him. Four.

For a brief second, Kurogane stops and heaves in a deep breath. He looks around. Men with anxiety stricken faces are staring back at him from afar. Some have stopped their fighting and are watching in bewilderment at this man who kills so easily. They are stunned by the grace and the agility of his movements. 'Who is he?' they wonder.

None of them want to fight him. But they know that Kurogane is in the way of their victory, so all at once, a large group of men race towards him, swords, javelins and arrows aiming at their target.

Zing. Zing. Zing.

Arrows whiz by, taking out each of the contestants one at a time. Kurogane looks up to see Fai who is mounted on horseback. He is panting. His fingers have become raw from slinging his bow.

Those who were watching their comrades serve their punishment, are now reluctant to take either man on in battle. The warrior with a sword has back up and he takes the form of a lithe, blonde magician slinging a bow and arrow.

With a grunt of appreciation, Kurogane returns to battle. This time, he is in Fai's debt. Now he has even more gusto to win.

---

Fai watches the brave and fearless Kurogane. Although he did not show it, Fai knows that he is grateful. Fai is also grateful: grateful that he has good aim.

Fai breathes in a sigh. He spends a few more moments watching Kurogane's movements. He absently wonders how something like death and killing can be so beautiful. He doesn't know how, but Kurogane manages to make it seem so. Then his mind returns to battle mode and he's back to shooting arrows again.

---

The battle is ending. Few men are left standing. The battle grounds are now littered with bodies. The stench of blood is hovering in the air and the air is thick with despair. The remaining men are still focused on winning, but in the back of their minds, they can't help but wonder how many of their friends have died today. They are filled from the tips of their ears to the end of their toes with fear, but Kurogane is not. Kurogane is still embraced in battle and he is, of course, fearless.

At least he thinks he is (and so does everybody else).

Kurogane pulls his sword out of the last body within his reach. He looks up for a mere second to examine the domain. He sees Fai with his bow arched, one eye is shut and he is aiming at a man running towards him with a katana. Kurogane admires Fai's posture. It's perfect. Fai knows exactly what he's doing.

And he turns to look at the man who is about to be pierced by Fai's arrow, and the man is grinning. He's grinning like he's about to outsmart Fai. Kurogane thinks this man is crazy. Who grins when they're about to die? But then he realizes just why the man is grinning. Something – or someone – is sneaking up behind Fai. His javelin is raised.

His heart is beating so fast that it hurts. He finds himself struggling to breathe.

Kurogane measures the distance between himself and the man. He won't make it in time. So he calls out. But as soon as he calls out, Fai's horse spooks and raises back on it's haunches. As the horse gears up, the man releases the javelin. Fai's eyes are wide and he gasps for breath. He's paralyzed.

Before he can even register what's going on, his feet are already running, closing in the meters between them. He manages to slit the throats of the two men before catching Fai, just before he hits the ground. He doesn't know how he does it, but he supposes the adrenaline rushing through his veins has something to do with it.

And as Kurogane places Fai onto the ground as softly as possible, everything becomes a haze. He snaps the end of the javelin off and throws it to the side. He wants to take it out completely, but he knows that if he does, Fai will die for sure. All his blood will rush out and there will be no chance of saving him.

So instead, he settles for just holding him there. He talks to him and tries to keep him conscious. His heart is beating furiously as he looks around for someone, anyone, to help bring Fai back to the medical ward.

"Mage! Mage. Just hold on. Oi. Stay awake!"

The kid! Where's the kid? His eyes are frantically searching the grounds. But his vision is blurry and he doesn't know why. And suddenly, there's something wet on his cheeks. Tears? He's crying.

And then he's mad. He can see the face of the man who had stabbed Fai staring back at him with a grin. He hates that face and he desperately wants to maim it even more. He looks around again, but everyone is too busy to help. Where is that kid?

Kurogane sniffles and wipes the tears out of his eyes roughly. But his actions don't go unnoticed by Fai.

"Are," he chokes because of his dry throat, "-are you crying?"

Kurogane snarls half-heartedly. "Hell no." And then he looks up again. "WHERE IS HE?" he growls.

---

He can feel the red hot pain in his abdomen. He wants to close his eyes and fall asleep, but he knows that he has to stay awake. He concentrates on Kurogane's face. He watches the emotions flash through those bloodred eyes as he calls out desperately for Syaoran.

And he thinks to himself, that perhaps, this is the first time he has seen so many emotions going through Kurogane at once. And maybe, this will be the last time as well.

As he feels another salty tear hit his face, he realizes that Kurogane is scared. Really, actually, genuinely scared. And reality is crashing back to him all at once. All that he believed was Kurogane, is now becoming a lie. Kurogane is supposed to be fearless. The fact that he isn't scares him. Because Kurogane isn't supposed to be frightened. He's supposed to be the one who stands strong when everything else comes crashing down. He's Fai's support. Fai can't stand on his own. It's been far too long since he's stood on his own and he's long forgotten how to.

And now tears are springing up in the corners of his eyes too. Because he knows that Kurogane is scared because Fai is hurt; he just doesn't want to accept it. Because if he accepts it, then it's like accepting that everything you've been taught in life is wrong. He's been perfectly fine accepting that he is a coward; perfectly fine accepting that Kurogane is fearless; and perfectly fine accepting that Kurogane will never care about him like he cares about Kurogane.

But now Kurogane is crying which means that he does care. He supposes that the only thing he can do - in a time where his life is slowly fading away and the base of his structure is crumbling apart – is make Kurogane come to terms.

He reaches out and touches Kurogane's cheek.

The face that previously displayed a thousand emotions is now staring blankly back at him. The only signs of emotion are the wrinkles of stress indenting on his forehead. He wipes a tear away.

"You're scared. Admit it Kurogane, you're scared."

Kurogane is shaking his head. He doesn't want to admit that he's no longer fearless.

"You are Kurogane! Stop lying to yourself. We both know that you're afraid. It's impossible for someone to never be frightened!" And now Fai's voice is shaking.

"You're wrong. I'm not afraid."

And Kurogane continues to tell himself that. Frustrated, Fai yanks Kurogane's face closer to his own. And before pressing their lips together he whispers, "You're scared Kurogane. And I am too."

As they're pulling away, Kurogane is at a loss for words. But it's okay because now Syaoran has come. He's out of breath because he must have seen Fai from a mile away and ran the whole distance here.

He calls out to a couple of men carrying a stretcher made from wood and cloth. They lift Fai onto it as carefully as possible and begin walking him back to camp.

---

Kurogane is still speechless as he watches the retreating forms of the two men and the kid. He wipes the remainder of his tears away and finds himself smiling just a little bit.

He smiles because he knows he's not fearless. And that just may be the scariest fucking thing he's ever known. And he also smiles because he figures that 7 isn't as bad as he thought it was. After all, he's had 7 all along, he was just too scared say it out loud. And as un-ninja-like as it sounds, he's beginning to like that word: scared. Especially if being scared gets him another kiss like that.

Owari.

Author's Note: Well, I hope you liked it. Please leave me a review. I love reviews. And have no fear, if you favourite but DON'T review, I will track you down ;) It's not that hard to click the green button. IT'S CALLING OUT TO YOU!

Thanks for reading,

~twiinklestar