Author's Note: I just want to thank everyone for their patience, support, and wonderful comments with "Moonbrains." I am truly sorry it has taken me this long to finish this story. I hope you all enjoy it, and I will be looking forward to your comments!

Chapter Twelve

It was chaos. A beautiful, colorful chaos of voices and thoughts and emotions. She could hear and see and feel everything for miles. And she was at the center, watching the random shapes of human nature drift around her, an observer of the wide beautiful and sometimes terrible 'verse. Then she became a woman and fell in love and became part of the chaos. It invited her to dance, and she couldn't resist the temptations of those blue orbs or those sold, protective arms, or that loyal and surprisingly brilliant soul. She wasn't watching anymore. The thoughts and feelings belonged to her now. The voice in her head was hers. She was human. She was chaos.

But then a switch was flipped. The chaos disappeared and the beautiful, colorful, terrible 'verse faded abruptly to black. The voices stopped. Even her voice was silenced. And there was only one thing left in her sliced and diced moonbrain.

Kill Jayne Cobb.

Everything was dark, except for him. She didn't want to hurt him, but she leapt at him anyway. She wasn't the woman anymore. She was the weapon.

"River, I love you."

His voice seemed to bounce around in her mind, but she couldn't stop. Why didn't he kill her? If anyone ever could, it would be him.

When he spoke again, he too went dark.

"River, I love you."

When River woke up, the beautiful chaos was back. She was laying in Jayne's bed, an old quilt made by Mamma covering her up. The room was dark, but not empty. Jayne was asleep in a chair beside the bed. The dirty laundry that usually occupied this piece of furniture was scattered across the floor. There was a path across the room that had been created while River slept and Jayne paced. River watched him sleeping. He wasn't dreaming. River wondered how long she'd been asleep.

Jayne jerked awake suddenly and saw her watching him. "River!" he cried, jumping out of the chair and onto the side of the bed. "Are you all right?"

His emotions and jumbled, worried thoughts hit her brainpan like a sledge hammer. He'd been so worried about her. Was she going to be herself when she woke up? Would she remember any of it? Would she forgive him for fighting her, thinking he would have to kill her?

She was the one who'd gone bat shit crazy and tried to kill him. Again. And he wanted her to forgive him?

River started crying. It was too much. He should have killed her. One day it would have to happen. They were going to keep finding her and flipping the switch in her brain. Until she killed him. Until she killed everyone she loved and had nowhere to go but back to the Alliance.

"Oh," Jayne mumbled some Chinese. "I'll go get Simon. Maybe he'll know - "

As he moved to get up, River threw her arms around him. He changed his mind about getting Simon as he wrapped his arms around her and held her. She was safe now. He'd protect her. They'd never get to her again. If he had to kill every last one of those gorram bastards himself. Nobody could make his woman their weapon.

"I love you, too, Jayne," River said after a few seconds.

"You heard that, huh?" Jayne asked.

River nodded into his shoulder. "Gorram right I did, Jayne Cobb. And you can bet your bright orange hat I'm never gonna let you forget it was you who said it first."

Jayne laughed and pulled away to look her in the eye. "Truth be told, I think I can live with them terms." He gave her a quick kiss before asking, "You sure you don't want me to go get Simon?"

"I just need you, Jayne," River said, kissing him, losing herself in the chaos. She had faith in Jayne's word. They'd never get to her again. They were safe.

Later, as River cuddled in close to Jayne, she asked, "We're headed towards Haven then?"

"Yeah, Mal seems to think the further out in the black the better."

"Not a bad notion," River said. "'Cept for the part where a lot of folk know we're partial to that rock."

"Well, now you're awake, you can tell the cap what a gorram idiot he's being."

"I take it he didn't listen to you when you told him?"

"Hell no. Mal ain't never gonna listen to me about nothin'."

"Probably true," River muttered. Then she got up the courage to ask him what she'd been wondering since she woke up. "Jayne?"

"Yeah, River?"

"Why didn't you just shoot me?"

"'Cause I ain't as dumb as I seem," Jayne said. "That's 'xactly what those Grace bitches wanted me to do. Kill you then kill myself."

"How do you figure that?" River asked. "I didn't even know what they were after. It was like they didn't have minds to read."

Jayne shrugged. "They said I'd need those two bullets. One," he pointed at River. "Two." He pointed to himself. "I couldn't give them what they wanted. Besides, no matter how moonbrained you go, River Tam, I ain't never gonna be able to kill you."

River kissed him again.

"Don't you figure we should tell the others you're awake and back to normal?" Jayne asked.

"They can wait a few more hours," River said, climbing on top of Jayne. He gave her his naughty smile and pulled her down towards him so he could kiss her some more. His mind filled with wonderful and brilliant ideas for what they could do with each other for a couple more hours. They would be far too busy to give the rest of the crew a second thought.

Around the kitchen table, everyone had gone silent. Except to River, of course. She heard every confused and worried thought coming from every one of their brains. Simon was still trying to figure out how to, and if he should, erase the default programming the Alliance had set in place. Kaylee was worried about what would happen if the Browncoat Underground or the Alliance caught up with them. Zoe and Mal were both trying to figure a way out of this mess. Jayne wanted to kill the Graces. Oh, and make sure his brother was all right after shooting the crazy Browncoat Colonel. Inara was growing impatient with Mal. Again. No big change there.

Beyond the kitchen, River knew there was silence. The students were sleeping, and they didn't dream. The Alphas, as Mal was thinking of them, had nearly demanded their own rooms. The captain blamed Simon for the annoying programming, but he gave the older kids their own bunks anyway. The rest of the kids were camped out in the hold. Not that they could stay there forever.

That was the rub.

"What we have ourselves here," Mal said at length. "Is a gorram conundrum of incredibly proportions." The crew waited for him to go on. "We knew this part wouldn't be easy - "

"I believe the word I used was suicide," Jayne grumbled.

"And given recent developments regarding some of us overestimating our abilities regarding computer programming - "

"Also known as underestimating the Alliance's abilities to make an impenetrable default layer that can only be overwritten by the most detailed computer programs in the 'verse," Simon interjected.

"We've got to face the fact that these kids are safer with us," Mal finally finished his thought.

"You can't keep them in the hold forever, Mal!" Inara exclaimed.

"What happened to separatin' 'em among our Browncoat friends?" Jayne asked.

"You do recall who it is we stole them from, right, Jayne?" Zoe asked.

"Now, to be fair," Mal said, holding up a hand for everyone to stop. "We still got us a few friends out there. People I'd trust not to take advantage of these kids. But fact is they're just too dangerous. Too unpredictable. For now. 'Sidewhich, what was true for river and Simon is true for them."

"They're safer on the run than hiding out, just waiting to be found," River said.

"For now," Mal repeated after a few moments of Inara's continued evil eye. "Just until Simon and River can figure out some kind of programming that'll help them."

"So, basically, they'll stay in the hold forever," Jayne muttered.

"You don't think we can do it?" Simon asked, offended. Now he was even more determined to write a badass program to override the Alliance controls. Just to prove Jayne wrong.

Jayne shrugged and said calmly, "I just seen Alliance programming in action. And I don't think you're ever gonna be rid of it completely."

He was remembering how River wiped the corridor with him. The whole crew was thinking about River and how Jayne was right. The Alliance would never be completely out of her head.

"Something's been botherin' me," Zoe stated after a couple of seconds.

"Jordan Cobb?" River asked.

"What? No," Zoe said too quickly. "Those Graces Jayne told us about. Who were they?"

"Besides gorram freaks?" Jayne asked.

"Besides that," Zoe confirmed. Everyone looked at River. Except Jayne. She'd already told him her answer.

"I don't know," River said softly.

A ripple of shock moved through the crew.

"But you've got a guess right?" Mal asked.

River shook her head. "I couldn't get a read on them. Not even a blip. It was like they weren't there."

"Holograms?" Simon asked.

"Didn't think those could fight," Mal commented.

"Strictly speaking, Sir, they didn't."

"Holograms ain't that fast, though. Not without defects. 'Specially if the Alliance is behind the design," Kaylee said.

"And three working together in a close space like that would get incredibly complicated," Inara mentioned.

What none of them said out loud was that if they were holograms, surely River would have noticed the equipment.

"I think they were robots," Jayne said suddenly. Everyone stopped and stared at him. Except River, who knew what he was thinking anyway. "Bat shit crazy freakin' robots."

"Robots," Mal said. "Really?"

"Robots don't have that kind of maneuverability, do they?" Simon asked thoughtfully.

"And you would have noticed when you shot that one, right?" Inara asked.

"I noticed we only got one shot," Jayne said gruffly. River coughed. "Okay, that River only got one shot," he corrected. "And we never only get one shot."

"Or no shots, in your case," Zoe said.

"So this is about your pride?" Mal asked.

Jayne leaned forward to counted off the points on his fingers. "They didn't talk. They didn't fight. They didn't think. They moved around, dodging bullets and lasers and tried to get us to kill each other." He pounded the table with his fist. "They weren't gorram human. They weren't gorram holograms."

"So your next guess is robots?"

Jayne shrugged, "Maybe some freak in an Alliance think tank has a thing for love bots and decided to repurpose a few."

"I've got no response to that," Mal said, surprised. "Zoe?"

"The Alliance has done stranger things in the past, I suppose."

"It's a theory," River said. "It's all we got. Until they catch up with us."

"Well, hell, then we can just ask them if they're robots," Jayne suggested.

Later River sat on the steps outside the infirmary, listening for signs of movement in the students. They weren't awake yet. They still weren't dreaming. River was beginning to wonder if they'd ever wake up without being told to do so.

"Simon, can I bend yer ear for a sec?" Jayne asked from around the corner, knowcking River out of her own thoughts and into his.

What in the hell was Jayne playing at?

"Um, sure?" Simon responded, distracted. He was studying the students' medical records and didn't want to be bothered, unless it was by Kaylee.

"It's um, it's about River," Jayne said in a rush.

Now he had Simon's full attention. And River's. "Is something wrong?"

"No, Doc. Nuthin' like that," Jayne's mind was reeling. Now he was here, he didn't know how to get the words out. River sat on the edge of the stairs, glad they couldn't see her listening so intently.

"Then - "

"Where I come from a man's supposed to ask permission to marry a woman."

"You're asking me for River's hand in marriage?" Simon asked. He was regretting not killing Jayne when he had the chance.

"Well, kinda. Mostly I'm askin' for yer blessin'. I guess. Don't think you're not giving permission would influence River one way or the other. But it'd be nice iffin you'd - "

"Give you permission to marry my sister." Simon was disgusted. It must have shown on his face.

"At least I'm gonna marry her?" Jayne suggested. In his mind he added Before I get her gorram knocked up like some prissy-assed gorram idiot I know.

Silence fell for a few moments as Simon thought. He'd gotten Jayne's unspoken meaning. The irony was not lost on the doctor that the man-ape was being more honorable than Simon had been.

"Yes," Simon said softly.

"What?" Jayne asked. He'd been expecting to get chased out of the infirmary by a syringe-wielding mad doctor.

"I give you my permission to ask River to marry you," Simon repeated.

"Try not to look so sick when you say that next time," Jayne suggested.

"You should leave before I change my mind," Simon said. He was hoping River would say no. He was praying for it, actually. Dear God in heaven, please don't let River be so stupid as to marry the man-ape gone wrong.

Jayne silently left, thinking it was indeed a good idea to leave before Simon thought better of his answer. River quickly moved up the stairs as Jayne went the opposite way, heading for his bunk. She couldn't believe what she'd just heard. Jayne was actually going to ask her to marry him. Simon was going to let him.

How exactly was she the moonbrained one?

"Dr. Simon Tam," Mal said, "Do you promise to take one Kaywinnit Lee Frye as your somewhat lawfully married wife? To have and to hold, more than you already have, for richer or poorer, poorer being the unfortunate constant, in sickness and in health, 'till fiery and tragic death do you part?"

"I do," Simon agreed.

"Kaywinnit Lee Frye - "

"Yes, I do."

There was a round of laughter in their little group, but Mal was offended she'd cut him off. He'd been practicing this in the mirror all week. "You didn't let me finish the vows. You asked me to do this. You oughta let me do this right."

"We're getting married in a cargo hold," Kaylee pointed out.

"My sister got married in a barn," Jayne commented. He was actually hoping he and River could go back and get married on Achilles. He hadn't asked her yet, though. Every time he thought about it, a knot formed in his stomach. River assumed it didn't help that he knew she already knew what he was planning. It seemed to make him even more nervous.

"To be fair, it was a shiny new barn," River said, squeezing his hand. He'd get up the courage eventually. River was almost glad he hadn't asked quite yet. She wasn't sure the crew was ready for River Cobb.

"The point is, this ain't exactly traditional," Kaylee said.

"Just friggin' finish your vows," Mal said.

"I, Kaylee, take you, Simon, as my very lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold, for richer and poorer, 'till death, which will be a very, very long time coming for both of us, do we part."

"Allrighty. I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Everyone cheered, even Mal, as Simon pulled Kaylee into his arms.

River just stood there a few moments, listening to all the happiness seeping into her brain. She let these thoughts of joy and hope fill her mind, wanting to hang onto them for as long as possible. It wouldn't be like this forever. Eventually, the Browncoat Underground, the Graces, the whole Alliance Army, or any combination thereof, would catch up to them. All hell would break loose. None of them were thinking of that right now. That was in the future. And the future was far, far away. They were living in the now. And now they were flying free. They were together, a family. Nothing, not even two armies and three freaks of nature, could mess that up. Besides, River's crew was probably just moonbrained enough to survive this thing ahead of them.