Note - I'm a id-jit. I finished this chapter a week ago but I forgot to post it. I'm a id-jit with a memory problem.

Disclaimer - I dont own LwD. I mean, if I did, Sheldon wouldn't have been sent off to god knows where godammit!

Realization is offered to people in three ways.

a. The realization is quiet. It is slow and it doesn't impact you in the way that you expect it. It's like having a thought passing through your brain, you dwelling on it and then moving on. The thought and you, that is.

b. The realization that is slow and ongoing but when it comes, it comes with such a bang, that it robs you of all your senses and leaves you numb, like you've spent too much time out in the cold with your fingers stuck in the snow.

c. The realization that is quick like lightning and so explosive that even for a few moments, you want to forget everything you have ever known because the exploding fireworks going off inside your brain are searing your flesh with the intensity of the light. Later on you'll forget this realization because it's probably too difficult to swallow in the first place.

Right now, Sam is stumbling down the stairs and out of his house, not sure of where he's really going. He's suffering from the after effects of the realization number two.

Everything is slowly clicking into place. The pleasant dates which never morphed into anything remotely exciting or more, the blushes that came along with the boys locker room and the final nail in the coffin is his fascination with, what he's not really sure but Sam thinks that the final nail in the coffin is the fact that he sort of vaguely knew all along. Like it was the tip of his tongue but he never had the courage or the inclination to voice it.

Then Truman comes along and upsets the apple cart and Sam is pretty sure he's having a teenage existential crisis.

He wanders along blindly and just wishes that you know, that there was someone he could talk to.

//

Two hours later he's still wandering along convinced that everything ends tonight and then he bumps into Ralph walking his cat.

Okay, don't really ask. And Sam doesn't even register Salad's (who's a staunch fishatarian by the way) presence. All he sees is Ralph, smiling and cheerful.

"Dude," Ralph begins amiably, "you look like shit. I bet you feel like it too."

Sam grips him with all the strength of manacle clinging onto something and mumbles hoarsely, "I'm gay." Magically, his shoulders slump and sags visibly with relief before straightening up in horror and staring at a blinking Ralph who doesn't look very surprised. Or confused.

"I knew." Sam's head whirls. He's not sure if he can think anymore and yeah, it really does end tonight.

"But it's okay." Ralph grins and claps him on the shoulder warmly and screw it, Sam goes in for a hug.

"I thought nobody would ever understand or realize." And shit, he's actually crying a little, though it's mostly with relief.

"It was kind of a done deal when you recommended pleather instead of vinyl. And then I had to clarify a few things with Emily and then we like collaborated on those awesome detective shows you see on the tube and reached a conclusion. I was all for like telling you right away, cause it's awesome to know who you are but then Emily was all like you had to undergo self-absorption or something and realize on your own. So I like, made a pinky promise with Em not to tell."

"Emily knows?" Sam is all kinds of horrified. What kind of crack world is this where everyone knows about your sexuality with certainty when you yourself have spent the better part of your life under a blanket of mostly blissful ignorance?

"Emily knows a lot of things," says Ralph in complete awe. "Did you know that she knew that I was just easily distracted, not dumb? She's like I don't know, a know it all." And Ralph means that in the best way possible. Right after Disney Channel's awesomeness, Emily's brain has to be the best thing ever. She just knows everything.

"Yeah, that figures," Sam says with a fond smile.

"So dude, wanna go grab a bite? I'm in the mood for some chili cheese fries."

And Sam gives Ralph another heartfelt hug. The world may turn on it's axis but Ralph will continue moving, acknowledging and accepting whatever change without any questions. With Ralph, everything is always how it has been.

Everything else might but the basics don't.

//

The next day at school, Sam doesn't feel like a brand new person. Rather he feels complete in a sense. Like a puzzle which has now been pieced together completely. The first thing he does is seeks Emily out.

He grips her hands tight and mumbles his thanks, his voice laced with overwhelming gratefulness.

"We've been acquaintances for like ever. It's what we almost friends do." Emily says it with a twinkle in her eye and Sam can't help but grin.

Because this is exactly one of those moments where you figure you made that new best friend for life.

And you can never be too late for that.

I think I lost that nice flow of the first chapter. Which is kind of sad cause I liked the way that turned out. This, I'm a little iffy about. Anyhoo, one more part to go. :)