Dad,

I'm sorry. I'm so incredibly sorry. It's been years since you left us. Years since I took over. If you could see me now, Prim, all of us, if only you could see…and I know you do. Wherever you are, you have to see what I've been through.

I won the Games, Dad. I won them. I didn't win them for me, not even Peeta. I won them for Prim, Mom, Gale…I won them for you. You taught me how to hold my own. If it weren't for you, I'd be right there at your side now. If it weren't for you, Mom would've left again, Prim would be starving, Gale would be gone.

Gale. Remember him, Dad? He used to live a block away from us. He was two years older than me. We never talked. His father died the same day you did. When you left, I took over hunting. I met him in the woods. He's amazing with traps and snares. He loves the bows you made.

I know it's you I need to ask. You should know. I'm not your little girl anymore, but I don't think I ever was. Not since I shot that first arrow. Then I was me. Katniss. Nothing else. But I still need you to know. I think I love him. Gale. I…no. I do love him. I know I do. Don't be worried, wherever you are. He's a good guy.

I hope you didn't believe that I loved Peeta. I guess I kind of did, for a while…but it wasn't real. He gave us the bread, Dad, after you left. We were hungry. He saved us. I couldn't, wouldn't let him die. And if lying was the only way to make him live, I would. But it was just that. Lying.

It's my fault now. I can't stand knowing anymore. It's all my fault. The world is in chaos, Prim and Mom might be dead, everyone else might be too. And it's all. My. Fault. If I was strong enough, if I could've just killed him! This would all be over! But I couldn't. Was I too weak, Dad? Did I just care too much?

We're going to District Thirteen now. We're going to win this war. I won't be weak this time. I have to kill, I know that. And this time I will. I can assure you we won't be meeting any time soon.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything, Dad. I'm sorry you had to die in the mines. I'm sorry I fell into those Games, the ones you hate so much. I'm sorry I can't tell you everything. But I'm just sorry that you had to watch me through all this, wherever you are. I'm sorry I put you, Prim, Mom, everyone through what I did. I'm so, so sorry.

And I'm sorry I lost the bows. Those were the last things anyone had left of you, and I threw them away to prove a meaningless point. I loved those bows, so much. I'll never get them back, not now.

I'm sorry I'll forget about you when I win this.

Love,
Katniss