The Case of the Three Table Legs

Chapter 4: Not a Natural Dissembler

Of course, Holmes and I soon regained our usual habits of intercourse. A new and stimulating case rescued the detective from his dreaded mental stagnation, and I joined him with enthusiasm, glad to pay off my secret debt. Perhaps some day I shall set down for publication the events of the trained canaries and the mismatched shoes. It was certainly a case that allowed my friend to exercise his particular gifts of rational deduction.

Some weeks later, we were sharing a quiet pipe by the fire. Holmes sighed with contentment.

"Life has a habit of improving, friend Watson. Perhaps, whilst my disposition is still relatively sunny, I shall reattempt the precipitation of the copper agate, and will manage to be somewhat less intolerable to my long-suffering room-mate than the last time."

"Which experiment is that Holmes?"

"Oh, you should remember. It is a very important little piece of research, which should enable us to discover with far greater precision the timing of poison administration. I had almost completed it the last time I undertook it, but suffered a set-back. It was the self-same experiment which you knocked over, then attempted to blame on a rotten table-leg."

I froze in my chair. Holmes was regarding me with twinkling eyes.

"You knew? When did you find out?"

"Oh, as soon as you told me the desk had broken."

"What?"

Holmes threw his head back and laughed.

"Oh, Watson, you really are not a natural dissembler. As soon as I saw your innocent expression, the soot-mark on the tripod wiped clean, and a corresponding mark upon your cuff, I deduced what must have happened. Add to that the dusty knees to your trousers, the splinter under the fingernail, and the fact that, yes, despite the legs being well concealed by the desk top, I of course knew they were not rotten. I am not such an amateur as to practice dangerous experiments on an unsound surface."

"Yet you said nothing?" I was caught between mortification, shame and indignation.

"The fact that my usually upstanding partner was so cowed by my formidable temper as to attempt this little pantomime was enough to display to me, in no uncertain terms, what an ogre I had been to him as late. I felt the obligation to make amends was more on my side that his, and that I had best not add to his agonies by revealing what a very important piece of work it was that he had inadvertently destroyed.. Although, of course, I could not entirely allow you to escape scot-free after such a deception. I felt your noble conscience would castigate you enough in the circumstances."

"Well.... I really am very sorry for my clumsiness, Holmes. And my deceit." Holmes only grinned, and his merriment was infectious. Despite myself, I started to chuckle. Holmes joined in, and soon the pair of us were howling with laughter, until the tears streamed down our faces. I rose to my feet, and clasped him warmly by the hand.

"If you are to undertake the experiment again, I must insist you eat from time to time."

"Understood, Doctor. I shall also undertake to say at least three civil words to you a day."

"That would be appreciated. Now, I am not so naïve as to believe your diet will be fully up to my expected standards, so I propose a hearty meal before we begin. I believe the last meal of your providing was marred by false pretences. Let us dine out again tonight, your choosing, my treat."

"Agreed. One further condition?"

"Name it."

"Pray do not approach within a yard of my desk for the next four days."

"Done!"

Arm in arm, and upon the best of good terms, Sherlock Holmes and I descended our seventeen stairs, and stepped out into the street.

************THE END*************

Ah! See, it all worked out well in the end. Watson should know nobody can deceive Holmes for long!

Thanks for all the lovely reviews everybody. "Duh duh duh" and "Oh no! Poor Blue Liquid" were two that really made me laugh. Sorry this update took a while. For some reason, my document manager has been sulking and refusing to upload anything for five days, and now has inexplicably started working again. I don't understand computers!

Well done to all of you who guessed that Holmes was just playing along. We all have to have a hapless Watson fic now and then - although he's getting better.

Thanks for reading! And if you enjoyed, further reviews are always appreciated...