Impasse: Part 2/2

A/N: Hits M about ½ way through, though it's not really about the act (well, not just about it). Thank you for reading/reviewing. Feedback is appreciated :)

Spock felt oddly numb at the sight of her: the gentle rise and fall of her chest, damp hair curling over and down one shoulder, warm brown complexion vibrant with life. She wore nothing but a white standard-issue tank top and matching boy shorts revealing long, graceful limbs. Except for the tell-tale biobrace that signaled the fractures of her lower left arm, Uhura was healthy and whole.

He stared at her upturned face. Her eyes still shone with confusion and worry even as she stepped to the side.

"Come in." The door quietly slid shut behind them.

Wordlessly, Spock moved to stand against her back. He slid one of his hands between her hair and neck and curled it there, glancing his thumb over the quiet pulse of life beneath her skin. He silently contemplated this action for a full minute, then lowered his face to the exposed side of her throat, breathing in and releasing as if in meditation.

Uhura held her questions and placed her right hand on his. Her anger and worry over his unexplained absence was dampened by the echo of terror she was receiving by his touch. Through it, she knew that he needed this. To feel, hear and smell the life coursing through her. She wasn't sure what had suddenly brought this on, especially after such a firm rejection of her earlier attempts at contact. But she also wasn't sure she wanted to.

Nearly five minutes went by while the only sounds in the quarters were gentle breathing and the quiet, constant hum of the ship itself. It was as if space had expanded then contracted to surround the two of them in a peaceful vacuum.

All too soon, Spock released her. Uhura shivered as she turned to face him. She was unsurprised to see his handsome features arranged in their normal, unreadable mask.

"You're completely healed?"

"Nearly. The damage was skillfully repaired and my physiology hastened the amendment."

He hesitated. "Physically, I am fit for duty."

"Good. Kirk won't even consider clearing me yet," she replied with a small smile. But Spock's gaze traveled from her eyes and down her body, resting on the hard shell of her brace.

"He is correct. Your body has endured a great trauma, Nyota. You require rest and healing. I realize that my presence here is not conducive to this...I apologize for the intrusion."

"Come here."

She underscored the statement by moving forward to ball his tunic in both of her fists. He silently exulted, wanting more but unwilling to ask.

"Come here, Spock," she repeated.

He acquiesced, laying his forehead down to rest against hers. The terror which had flowed from him earlier had been replaced by a profound relief and affection that was intensified by her own.

"I've basically been sleeping for three days, pumped up on painkillers and micro-regenerators. I'm done with sleep. I only require you," she said in a softer tone, brushing her knuckles down the line of his jaw.

This time when she shivered, Spock didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her slender waist. He rolled his face down to press his lips across her temple, against her ear lobe, down her cheek to finally linger again on her pulse. He gently sucked the skin there, murmuring his approval into her neck when she began to graze his scalp with her fingertips.

"Spock..." Uhura exhaled and curled her hands in his hair.

"Len told me you didn't leave my side while I was in surgery. He said you held my good hand the entire time." It was true. Despite the doctor's pained scowl, he did not regret it. "I'm trying to reconcile that with how you completely shut me out after I woke up. Why?"

He was temporarily struck by the accusation behind her heavily dilated pupils. "I was angry with you. I suppose...I still am."

The unconcealed hurt which blanketed expression said everything. Spock dropped his hands from her body and walked into the tiny kitchenette, where he programmed the replicator for chamomile tea.

"Mainly I am angry at myself, Nyota," he quietly continued. "My violent action on Tau Klith resulted in one death and was nearly the catalyst for two more, including yours. Meditation alone has yet to re-establish my equilibrium. I am uncertain that it will."

He stirred honey into the steaming cup before bringing it to her.

"To aid in your rest," he said, then perched on the arm of her sofa, watching her.

Although sleep was still the last thing on her mind, Uhura couldn't refuse the small but meaningful gesture. She took a long sip before setting the cup down on her organized desk top.

"Thank you."

Uhura paused, chewing her bottom lip in thought and idly fondled her brace. Spock imagined her arm ached to the bone, just as his had, but knew she would never admit it to him or possibly anyone but the chief medical officer. She turned to face him again and stepped between his legs to cradle his head in her hands.

"Listen to me," she stated firmly.

"You did nothing but fulfill your duty. You defended our captain, and judging by his injury you probably saved his life. I made the choice to buy Len time to revive Kirk. If Engineering hadn't been able to transport us, transport me, in time, that would've been the result of my own decision."

Spock felt the specter of that white-hot chill run through him as she pulled him closer. He pressed his cheek against the strong flutter of her heart.

"I would have deeply regretted the loss of Jim and Doctor McCoy. Their friendships have been a surprising yet agreeable addition to my life. However, the loss of you was...is my single greatest fear realized."

He inwardly cursed himself for this human urge to dwell on hypotheticals and verbally express them; Uhura only held him tighter.

"You haven't lost me, Spock. I'm here."

"Nyota..." The words died on his lips as she buried his returning terror with a kiss to his forehead and cheek, then his waiting mouth. It eventually deepened until their tongues were sliding together in a familiar dance, heating them both from within and illuminating a growing need that had been building the entire night. Feeling him swell through the fabric of his uniform, Uhura splayed one hand on his thigh and reached down with the other to lightly stroke his arousal.

His eyelids drifted half-shut as he pushed his own underneath her tank top, letting his fingers glance over her taut stomach and the curve of her waist before possessively squeezing a small, pert breast. Her long hair skimmed the tip of his left ear after he raised the fabric higher to taste and suck her supple flesh.

"There are things we need to discuss, Spock. I won't let us be distracted," Uhura sighed when his other hand followed the same journey as its predecessor. Despite her words, she raised her arms to allow him to draw the shirt off of her completely as he stood. She returned the favor, slipping his belt off for good measure.

"I mean it."

Intrigued, Spock looked from the leather strap Uhura wielded in semi-challenge to the way her body had molded against his hands. Her soft skin still held a slight dampness from her shower, although he knew its faint flush was the result of his current actions. Like himself, it seemed that Uhura's needs had betrayed her control. He couldn't tell if she was glad or disappointed when he moved his hands to rest platonically on her shoulders.

"Understood."

He slowly backed her against the wall. She let the belt fall to hold his slim hips and angled her face up for another deep kiss, pulling him further in so she could push his pants over his hips. Her breaths became shorter when he knelt to slide her underwear off; they stopped altogether once he rose to full height, trailing a hand along the inside of her leg as he stood.

"You wish to speak, Nyota," Spock breathed into her ear,. "If you cannot form a coherent thought, tell me to stop."

Her body hummed at the slow, languid pump of his fingers. She reached down between them to graze his erection with her nails, drawing a broken exhalation from him.

"Don't you dare," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck, "don't stop listening, either." He withdrew his fingers only to lift her by the backs of her thighs to eye level, asking without words what they both knew she would accept. Stifling a groan of pleasure against her open mouth, Spock allowed himself to fill her completely. For several minutes they lost all semblance of spoken conversation as they gave in to their sex.

Attuned to the echo of her unvoiced questions through her touch and their link, Spock finally shared the emotional impressions of his memory-dream. Felt her cold horror at the image of her dead, broken body. A false image, but one that had been mere seconds from reality. Something completely out of his control and powerless to end. He knew it was unhealthy to fear something that had not even happened, but it didn't stop the wave of desperation from rolling over them both.

"I hate that you're hurting. That you're angry with me. But I can't apologize for what I did..." Uhura pressed her face into his burning cheek with a whimper when his thrusts became long, loving strokes. She didn't argue when he lowered them to the floor. Spock hitched one of her legs under his arm to bury himself deeper, savoring the way her body was moving with his, wondering if it was wrong to allow this when she still required healing. Right then, Uhura slid her hands from his smooth shoulders and into his hair. She drew his head down plant tiny kisses on his swollen lips.

"Need you," she breathed in answer, and sighed as his grip on her thigh tightened.

Although Spock could feel the beginnings of Nyota's orgasm build within her, his was coming even sooner. He fought to prolong it by slowing their rhythm further and leaned forward to suck at the delicious thrum of her neck once more.

Her fingernails dug into the skin of his back when she felt a single demand begin to resonate from his mind to hers. It was an order, harsh and repeated and made impossible to ignore. She was too warm from their combined heat, the promise of completion rising in his every movement and the relentless chant in her mind.

"Damn it, Spock! I can't do that!" Uhura suddenly exclaimed. "I would do it again. Even if it killed me."

His entire body shuddered. He knew it was the truth because he could feel it within every inch of her. The link slammed shut.

He raised his head to meet her unblinking gaze, not truly knowing what he was searching for but seeking nonetheless. Uhura dug her heel into his back side, impossibly pulling him in further. Their tempo sped again.

"Come inside me, t'hyl'a, let me inside of you..."

Spock knew she was not only speaking of their physical release. Nyota wanted him to reopen that fragile alien link. A mere flicker while she was his aide, it had sparked to life after the destruction of his birth planet. He was certain that this connection was not a purposeful creation on his part: although they had been intimate for a year at the Academy and their ten months aboard the Enterprise, both of them had resisted a full mind meld.

Whatever it was that had manifested between them—allowing her to feel impressions of his volatile emotions without even touching him, in addition to the feelings he was often able to discern from her despite the same lack of tactility—Spock knew it was atypical of an unbonded Vulcan pair and unheard of between two human partners. It was something he wished to speak with his father about but had avoided.

Deep down he feared what it meant, but he knew Nyota would always find a way to open it, coaxing truth from him whether he was ready to face it or not.

It only took them seconds to release when he finally relented, with hers triggering his moments later, long and almost painfully intense.

Spock gradually came down to the sensation of pleasant aftershocks continuing to pulse through her body and met her halfway for a lazy, lingering kiss. Once he had regained complete control of his limbs and breathing pattern, he carried Uhura through the living room, sleeping area and onto her bed, where he allowed himself to be pulled against her chest. His thumb absently caressed her the underside of her breast while she attempted to smooth his unkempt hair, lightly massaging the back of his neck.

He felt her thinking of the undercurrent of dread which still flowed within him. It was much calmer at the moment, now free of any anger towards her, but omnipresent. Her motions stilled as her thoughts turned further inward.

Spock abruptly closed the link. He raised his head, hovering over hers with an unfathomable expression.

"You are aware of your meaning to me, Nyota, and yet you remain firm in your position."

Uhura's dark lashes fluttered as she blinked twice, but she wouldn't look at him. Instead, she slowly traced her fingertips over his left arm, stopping every time she encountered the faintest of green bruises revealing where bone had pierced through his pale skin less than a week ago. His sensitized nerve endings sang under her gentle touch.

"That creature said he would kill you if you spoke another word, and yet you still ordered me to desist."

Spock's brow drew together as she finally met his gaze. He didn't need to be fully human to know intrinsically what she was saying to him. He smoothed the hair away from her face and leaned in to kiss the tears that spilled down the curve of her cheek.

"It is not logical to dwell on what is done," he murmured against her skin. He moved behind her on the bed, careful to lay her bound arm alongside her body and drew the comforter over them both.

"Don't leave once I fall asleep. I'm making you a real breakfast in the morning."

"I will remain here. You must rest now."

He brushed his fingertips across her cooling forehead, projecting calm and peace. Within minutes the last remnants of tension left her limbs as her body settled in repose. Spock withdrew his hand to rest it on her bare stomach.

He breathed in the warm salt of her skin, the sweetness of her hair, thinking.

t'hyl'a (Vulcan): soulmate