Disclaimer: The RUG has nothing to do with this fanfiction, and I'd be mortified if they did. If you like having your childhood ruined, this is the fic for you.

VI – Harsh Words

"You're getting bigger," Plato said gently, fingers tracing the bulge of Victoria's stomach underneath her shirt before he pressed his palm flat against it. He smoothed over that soft fur before sighing. "I don't feel them moving."

"Doesn't always happen on command, Plato." She shifted on her side to be in a more comfortable position on the pillow they lay on. Plato's den was large, and usually very messy, but she'd noticed that it was slowly getting cleaner. Neater. He always tried so hard.

"Yeah, but I haven't felt even one kick or anything. You're sure they're in there."

"Where else would they be, Plato?" Victoria laughed before kissing Plato sweetly. "Everything's fine, Plato."

"But we should feel something, right? That's normal, right?"

"I don't know, Plato."

"But you know everything!" Plato spluttered.

"Whoa, whoa, easy there, Plato," Alonzo said, hands lifted up defensively as he walked into Plato's den. "You're going in circles, man."

"But I want to make sure it's okay. That there isn't anything wrong."

"He's just trying to be sweet," Victoria offered by means of explanation with a sigh. "He's just nervous."

"Of course I'm nervous. They're my kittens in there." Plato gripped at his hair, torso rounding forward. He looked almost on the verge of tears when Alonzo cut across the den and sat on the other side of his best friend, an arm around Plato's shoulders.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey… easy. Easy. Deep breaths, buddy. Deep breaths."

"You're not being sarcactus. Something's wrong."

"Sar-what?" Alonzo blinked.

"Sarcactus. You know, when you're a complete dick to me and say the opposite of what you mean."

"Sarcastic, sweetie," Victoria sighed. "The word's sarcastic."

"Everlasting Cat, you get pissed at me when I'm normal, and pissed at me for not being a dick. What do you want, dude? Seriously…" Plato didn't answer Alonzo except for a shrug of his shoulders.

"Anyway, I do need to go back to my humans," Victoria said as she rose to her feet. "Alonzo, are you going to be around with him?"

"Yeah, yeah, I've got nothing else planned."

"We should walk you back. It's not safe," Plato murmured.

"It's all right, Plato. I'm going with the girls."

"Yeah, but-"

"Plato, I'll be fine," Victoria insisted, bending over to kiss him as she pat Alonzo on the shoulder. "Take him out to have some fun, would you?"

"Yes, ma'am," Alonzo replied with a mock salute as Plato said, "I love you."

"I love you too, Plato," Victoria murmured gently before she left. The moment she was gone, Plato flopped on his back with a groan.

"Fuckkkkkkkk."

"Wet feet?"

"No, I've got sneakers on."

"That's not what I… ugh. Plato, seriously. You need to cheer the fuck up. You're depressing ME!" Alonzo nudged his best friend in the side. "Come on, dude. Seriously. You're gonna be a good dad."

"I've never done the dad thing before."

"No shit."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Like provide for them and shit."

"Fuck, man. Just… fuck."

"Well, you don't have to but that's a sure way to be the biggest asshole on the face of the planet."

"You're not helping."

"Sorry."

"You know I love her."

"Yeah. Yeah, I do."

"So…"

"So..?"

"Never mind." Alonzo wanted to push Plato to speak more, but that almost always backfired. "So, what's going on with your love life? Nonexistent?"

Alonzo snorted. "Ha. Funny. Only not really."

"I'm serious. Like what's going on with all the bi stuff? You get to bang anyone yet?" Alonzo closed his lips and looked away. Plato's eyes lit up. "You son of a bitch. Ha, ha! And you didn't tell me?"

"It wasn't a big deal…"

"Like hell it's not a big deal. I mean, shit, you're like on your way to becoming a gay!"

"I'm NOT gay. Trust me, I like the tatas."

"Big difference between liking the tatas, and liking fish, if you catch my drift."

"I like fish."

"So dish."

"No."

"What?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"What? Why not?"

"I just don't."

"Dude, did someone stick it up your-"

"No. I topped." He glared at Plato's dubious expression. "I did."

"Okay, okay, Jesus, chill out." Plato rubbed the back of his neck. "So, you banged someone, and won't tell me about it. Gotta be Misto"

Alonzo spluttered a little. "How'd you-"

"I told you, anyone who's bi sleeps with him some point sooner or later. Anyone who's even bi-curious."

"I thought you were pulling my leg."

"Nope."

"How'd you know that? That I mean, toms and Misto…"

"I just did."

"Did you sleep with him?"

Plato laughed, and shook his head. "Nooooo thanks. I told you, I'm Tugger-sexual. Anyone else can keep their kosher meat to themselves."

"You're so lewd, and how the hell did you even know what kosher means?"

Plato shrugged. "Just did." Plato's intelligence was always a mystery. Sometimes it annoyed Alonzo to no end, and sometimes it amazed him. Alonzo stretched out next to Plato.

"Hey, you remember when I told you? That I was bi, I mean?"

"Yeah."

"I think Munk's straight."

"He is."

"So, why's it hard to get over him?"

"Hard to get over? I didn't know you liked him enough to have that problem."

"Yeah, well, I did. Do. I mean do."

"Oh."

"Just oh?"

"You can't help who you like, who you love, and who you don't. Just happens." Plato gave a little shrug. "Think about Jemima. If she could help it, she sure as hell wouldn't get so worked up over Brutus."

"Fuck, that was absolutely terrible," Alonzo groaned and shook his head. "Did you see what he looked like?"

"Yeah. Munk did a number on him."

"Jellylorum said he hasn't left the den since. I don't think he's even left his room."

"That's weird." Plato scratched at the back of his head. "Nothing we can do about it."

"You sure?"

"What? I mean, seriously, what could we do? There isn't anything."

"I guess not." Silence passed between them. "Hey Plato?"

"Yeah?"

"If I ever get like that, promise to put me out of my misery?"

"No! Fuck you."

"Come on…"

"No, fuck you."

"Why not? I don't want to be hanging around like that."

"Because you wouldn't be in the first place. I won't allow it. You'll never get sick. You won't be a dumb shit drug addict." Plato sat upright, then got to his feet. He shook his head, and didn't look at Alonzo. "Come on. Let's get something to eat."

"Plato?"

"What?"

"You're the best."

Plato grinned and walked toward the exit. "I know."

"Hey Tug? You around?" Munkustrap called. Since the scare at the docks, his brother hadn't been seen. Munkustrap fretted around the Junkyard before remembering his brother had a human home, like him. Although Tugger's human home was a bit of a walk from Munkustrap's, he made it in fast time, trotting on his fours, tail sometimes swishing. He was hesitant to enter the cat door without checking to see if the humans were home or not, but eventually did.

His claws lightly clicked on the ground as he walked along the wooden floors. "Tugger?" he called again.

There was a muffled mewl, and Tugger hurriedly appeared at the top of the stairs. "Hey, you wanna give me five minutes to…" his voice trailed off as a queen walked around Tugger and down the steps. "… clean up in here," he finished, quiet and embarrassed. Munkustrap watched the queen. He wasn't thrilled, but didn't say anything as he took to the steps himself.

"Come on," Tugger said, bringing him to the room with his plush cat bed, one so large it could easily fit three. Probably did fit three, Munkustrap thought as he crawled in the basket next to his brother.

"I worried about you."

"You told me to run."

"I know. I just was telling you."

"Oh."

"I talked a bit with Macavity."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No. But I'm a little concerned." Munkustrap rubbed the back of his neck. "He gave me a riddle."

"He always does that shit."

"About you."

"… me? What the fuck did he say about me?"

Munkustrap exhaled heavily. "He said I should talk to you about why you became so curious."

Tugger's whiskers twitched. "I just am. Jesus, you don't have to make a dig at me being queer ever chance you get."

"… I think he meant you being interested in sex in general.

Tugger was silent. "… I knew that's what you meant. Just saying."

"Right…"

"I did!"

"Tugger?"

"What?"

"You got active really young if I remember right. Certainly before I did."

"That's because you're a prude."

"Tugger?" For once, his brother didn't answer him. "Tugger, did something happen? Something Dad and me don't know about?" The maine coon flinched and looked away. "Tugger, you know you can tell me anything-"

"Don't make me answer that," Tugger said hurriedly. He took a breath. "Just… don't… make me answer that. Please."

Concern washed over Munkustrap's face. "Oh God, something did happen… Tugger… Tugger, you know you can trust me. You KNOW you can…. Everlasting Cat, what the hell happened?"

"Munk, please, please, please don't."

"If someone hurt you, I swear I will rip their throat out-"

"It wasn't like that!" Tugger snapped. "It wasn't like that at all. He said he cared about me."

Munkustrap blinked. "Who?"

"Who do you think?" Tugger snapped. Then Tugger closed his eyes and curled up, back to Munkustrap. The tip of his tail snapped with each thud. "He said he cared about me, more than anyone else could. And he could show me what it was like to be cared about. I just wanted to know. Just… wanted to know… that's all."

Munkustrap turned in the bed before he crawled over his brother's body, wriggling to get in front of Tugger. He dropped into the soft bed before him. "Then what happened?"

"You know what happened."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do," Tugger sniffled. "Think about it." Tugger scooted close to Munkustrap, close enough to rest his head on his sibling's chest. He refrained from that contact for just a few moments.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Munkustrap whispered.

"Because he said I was filthy. That you'd hate me forever. And if I told Dad, he'd kill me. I tried telling Bomba once, and he hit me so hard-" He broke off. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Okay… it's okay. We don't need to."

"I'm serious. I don't want to."

"I know. I'm not making you."

"Just making sure."

"Tug?"

"What?"

"I don't hate you."

"What?"

"I don't hate you. Never could." Munkustrap wrapped an arm around Tugger's back, and Tugger followed suit.

Tugger rubbed Munkustrap's back. "They made the right choice. Having you be the protector. You protect me."

"Of course I do. You're my little brother. I'm supposed to take care of you by default." He scruffed up Tugger's mane. "Get some rest."

"You staying over?"

"Might as well. Demeter's just about the last Jellicle I want to see at the moment."

"Haven't talked since then?"

"No."

"How's Jemima doing?"

"I don't know," Munkustrap replied guiltily. "I didn't think she'd want to see me for a bit after Tumble."

"You wouldn't have done it if you knew. She knows that, everyone does… everyone messes up sometime, Munk."

"Yeah, but some screw ups are worse than the others. This was one of those times." Munkustrap rubbed over his brother's back and kneaded over the muscle. He could feel his spine and ribs. "You're not eating."

"We're talking about you, not me."

"Tugger, this is serious. How much weight did you lose?"

"Your daughter's giving you silent treatment."

"Tugger!" Munkustrap took Tugger's jaw and forced his face up. "Tugger, listen to me. Do you know how worried sick I am over you? You're becoming a skeleton, there's this past… Tugger, this explains so much." He ran his hand over the back of Tugger's head, but Tugger pushed back.

"I don't want to cuddle anymore. You can go if you want to."

"I'm staying."

"They'll think you're one of my lady friends."

"They'd be blind if they didn't notice the family jewels."

Tugger couldn't help but laugh. For that moment, it seemed okay, for that one small moment, it'd be all right. Munkustrap knew it wouldn't be all right for much longer. Maybe months; maybe seconds. They were deteriorating as a tribe. Things were falling apart.

"Tumble? Tumble, come on, let me in," Pouncival called from outside their bedroom door, trying to pull and push the wood. It would groan but not budge.

"Pouncival, what's wrong?" Asparagus asked.

"Tumble locked me out of the room and won't let me back in."

"I thought you were going to stay with him while I went out with your mother."

"Seriously, I was out of the room like only a minute. Had to piss like a horse."

Asparagus groaned. "Tumblebrutus?" he called, hand on the door, voice loud. "Please open the door." Silence. "You're not in trouble." Silence. "We're worried about you." Silence. "Tumblebrutus, open the door, right now." His voice became sharper. "I'm counting to three."

"Like that'll get him to open the door," Pouncival snorted. "What are you gonna do? Send him to his room on time out?"

"This is a nightmare," Asparagus groaned, shaking his head. "Your mother's trying to get shrimp from the mart to bring back."

"He loves that."

"I know. Hopefully it'll bring him out here."

Pouncival looked at the door. "Can't we just take it down?"

"I want him to be able to trust us."

There was the loud sound of a thud on the other side of the door. Asparagus and Pouncival looked at each other before their claws extended, digging into the wood as they yanked, and yanked, and finally it was pulled off the small wall, landing in a heap. The small dresser was shoved in front of the door where the knob had been, the other having fallen over. Tumblebrutus dug through it wildly, eyes wide, frantic, and angry. He was naked. His body was gaunt and strangely filthy for the normally tidy cat. There were scars on his wrists from injection needles, and some that looked suspiciously like cuts. The damage Munkustrap did wasn't entirely healed, some of the bruises were fading to yellow. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was the residue of nip on his nostrils, his chest, his body. He was using, and clearly looking for more.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Asparagus bellowed as they climbed over the dresser in the room. Tumblebrutus didn't bother running, but he fought against them, thrusting his arms around them to try and get to the drawers again. "There's more, there's more, there has to be more."

"Are you fucking INSANE, Brutus?" Pouncival snarled. "This is the shit that got you sick in the first place, this is the shit that fucked everyone up."

"I need it!"

"Tumblebrutus, stop it this instant. You're officially grounded, do you understand that?" Asparagus yelled.

"You're not my Dad, you can't tell me what to do!" Tumblebrutus barked.

"What did…" Asparagus couldn't finish the sentence.

"I said you're not my Dad, you can't frickin' tell me what to do!" Asparagus' arm dropped, but before Tumblebrutus could think of running or looking for more of the drug, he felt the sting across his cheek from Pouncival slapping him.

"You… bastard," Pouncival growled. "You… damn… bastard. He helped raise you, he's family, he's as much your father as he's mine. How many other toms would take you in as their own? You ungrateful bastard! Look at what the nip' doing to you! You're not mean, you're not nasty! You're not being YOU! Why did you slip up? You were doing so well."

"Because it makes me not feel pain!"

"There are other ways! Pain killers, massage-"

"Why does it matter what I use for it? I'm gonna die anyway."

The words hit Pouncival hard. He dropped his hands from his brother's side. Tumblebrutus wiped his face before he walked toward the bed, stopping to pick up the pile of clothes he dropped there. He kept his back to his family as he pulled them on, though that wouldn't have changed anything. Pouncival looked at Asparagus. He tried to imagine what he was thinking about his step-son. There was so much history, history that Pouncival barely knew.

"Tumble… Tumble, you can't give up," Pouncival pleaded. "You could… you could get a little better…"

"And what? Live another few years? Months?"

"That's worth it! There's so much life ahead of you."

"I never got to be intimate with a queen. I'll never have that chance. You think I want to see and hear about all you guys and your friends with the queens? With the toms? What would you care? You told me about all the ones you slept with."

Pouncival felt his cheeks get hot. He looked to his father and swallowed. "Can… uh… Can… Tumble and me be alone for a little while? You could put the door back up." He didn't need to say it a second time. Pouncival didn't know whether his father looked more disgusted or disappointed. The door was rest against the top frame, unhinged. Just there.

Tumblebrutus crawled on the bed and under the covers. Pouncival did the same.

"You have your own bed," Tumblebrutus muttered.

"I know, just… just look, let's talk. I'm sorry I hit you." He paused. "I just… Dad really does care about you like a son. You know that. When you're not high anymore, you'll know it."

Tumblebrutus closed his eyes. "Maybe it'd be better if I went back to the humans."

"No!" Pouncival's eyes widened. "Tumble… Tumble, this… you need to have faith. This doesn't mean you're necessarily going to die."

"You said I wouldn't get better!" Tumblebrutus yelled, sitting upright. The blankets pulled with him forming a tent around the pair, though Tumblebrutus' eyes were hidden, trapped in the fabric.

"It's a virus, Brutus. They never go away," Pouncival shuddered. "You can… you can still have a fulfilling life. We can… we can get you a queen friend. I'm sure we could figure out a way that's safe for you to be able to be intimate."

"It won't be the same."

"No, but it'll still be good. And you can kiss Jemima all you want. And hey, I bet she'd let you feel her up."

"I'm not going to her again. Not after Munkustrap. Never again. Never again."

"Tumble…" Tumblebrutus wasn't in the mood for talking anymore, indicating this as he lay back down and curled up, back to Pouncival. "Mom's getting you shrimp," Pouncival tried.

"I don't care."

"She went to a lot of trouble to get it for you."

"I'm not hungry."

"You gotta eat."

"Just shut up… let me at least finish my high."

Pouncival bit his lip although he nodded his head. He hugged his younger sibling's back to his chest, face in between his shoulder blades. If he didn't get sick, Brutus would have made it big somehow. Pouncival just knew it. Tumblebrutus was always too sweet faced, too innocent, but his talent was almost unmatched. Pouncival wondered if his brother's dancing could have evolved past that of Mistoffelees', something that he suspected the other cats contemplated as well.

But that was a depressing thought. They would never find out who was the better dancer, not then, not ever. Pouncival wished more than anything that he could have said something, anything, differently than what he told Tumble, what he said about his brother's life. That he could have been smart enough to think of some lie, or maybe have discretion when talking about queens, or anything.

He rubbed Tumblebrutus' side, feeling the indents between his ribs, and sighed. "I'm so sorry, Tumble…" Pouncival whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."

Tumblebrutus trembled, and Pouncival squeezed him tightly. Then, Tumblebrutus whispered, "I don't—I don't wanna die."

Pouncival grabbed Tumblebrutus roughly by the side and pulled him over, grabbing him to pull him into a tight embrace. Tumblebrutus was shocked to hear his older brother scream, to feel the wetness against his shoulder from his own brother's tears. He couldn't remember the last time he saw Pouncival cry. At least not very well. He thought maybe he did when he got dumped by one of the queens, but it was never like this. He always was the one who tried not to cry.

Tumblebrutus slowly pulled Pouncival closer, and Pouncival screamed a second time. He didn't know what to say or do. "Pounce?"

"Please!" Pouncival begged. "Please, please, please don't give up! Please promise me you won't! PLEASE! I need you!"

"Pounce-"

"PLEASE! I need you. I NEED YOU!" Pouncival squeezed tighter.

"Pounce, you're hurting me-"

"I'm always hurting you! I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Pouncival shoved back from Tumblebrutus as he stalked to his bed, kicking at the mound of laundry before he flopped on it face first. He screamed into his pillow. Screamed loud and cried hard.

Pouncival didn't remember falling asleep, but he knew he had to have when he blinked his eyes sleepily and looked around the room. The dresser was pushed back in its place, the door properly put up. He bolted out of bed and looked around the room—it was empty.

"Mom? Mom, Dad, where's Tumble? Mom?" he yelled, running from his room before stopping. His parents were sitting on each side of Tumblebrutus, watching as he ate softened meat, something that they didn't come across unless one of the cats stole it from human territory. His brother licked his lips and chin as some of the fat dribbled down, sometimes wiping it clean with his sweater sleeve. Pouncival remembered when Jenny had the mice crochet them. Both toms tried to avoid wearing them as much as possible. They were embarrassing. Yet Tumblebrutus wore it then. It fit him years ago, and it still fit him now, although a little more snug. It did look warm, something to cover his frail bones.

"Pounce," Jellylorum breathed heavily. She looked weary. She looked old. "We saved dinner for you. We didn't want to wake you up."

Tumblebrutus licked his lips again, eyes lifting to meet his brother's face. Although neither spoke, they exchanged words:

I'm sorry, Pounce.

I know.

Pouncival sat across from his brother, and took the offered dish of food. He wanted to put it on his brother's plate, but he was certain his brother would stop eating altogether if he did.

Asparagus sighed and looked at Jellylorum. "Maybe I shouldn't be here."

"What?" Jellylorum was stunned.

"I upset him enough as is."

"Dad, don't go," Pouncival pleaded. "Tumble didn't mean it, right? You didn't mean it, Brutus?"

"Didn't mean what?" Jellylorum asked. "Tumble? Tumble, what did you say?" Tumblebrutus looked down at his food. "Tumblebrutus, that's not a request. That's an order."

"Jelly, don't make him-"

"I said he wasn't my dad," Tumblebrutus finally said, not lifting his head.

Jellylorum looked pale. "Of course he is. He's your stepfather. He practically raised you. How could you say such a thing?"

"I don't know."

"I want you to apologize to him this instant."

"Don't make him," Asparagus sighed. "Maybe it's better that he knows about his real father."

Tumblebrutus looked startled. "You know who my real—my biological father was?"

Jellylorum bunched her fists up, and even Pouncival looked surprised. Despite being brothers, Tumblebrutus had a fairly empty slate in his past. He always admired his father for being so gentle and doting to Tumblebrutus despite the kit being out of wedlock. But no one had questioned it.

Most of the kits asked about their parents. A lot wanted to know their origins. Sometimes they asked other questions. Pouncival remembered the day when Socrates left. They were young and playing when Skimbleshanks walked to them and called Plato over.

"Your dad's gone."

"Where?"

"He… had things he needed to do."

"When's he coming back?"

"He's not."

"He has to come back. You're lying! You're lying! DADDY!"

It was the first time Pouncival saw Plato cry. He cried a lot that year. Jennyanydots had tried to raise him but the kit bore so much sorrow her efforts felt futile. When he was a teenager, he began to live on his own, began the life of being a stray.

Pouncival overheard his father talking with Skimbleshanks about it once. "That son of a bitch, abandoning his only son."

"It's repulsive. I had so much respect for him before this."

"Same. And it's his own fault the kid's stupid."

"Slow. Not stupid."

"There's no difference." Skimbleshanks drank from the bottle of scotch he had before passing it to Asparagus. "If you're gonna do your sister, you're gonna have to face the consequences. He's a bloody coward."

Pouncival shook his head, then looked around the table. His father looked resigned, his mother upset, and his brother confused. Asparagus sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Your mother got in a bad situation once with a younger tom. It happened at the Jellicle Ball. I was the watcher that year—and with the spirituality…"

"I should have stopped him," Jellylorum whispered.

"You couldn't do anything. It wasn't your fault." He rubbed his forehead. Pouncival found himself leaning forward, trying to take in their words, yet Tumblebrutus looked fairly immobile. His back was rigid. "It was all fast. Nothing could be done with the ceremony."

"You're saying that another Jellicle did it?" Pouncival asked.

Jellylorum's eyes got wet. "He was smart… do that in front of everyone… you get away with it."

"You didn't want me, did you?" Tumblebrutus finally asked.

"What? Oh, no. No, no, no, baby. I love you. I love you so much. I just… I only wish Asparagus were your father. Then… then it'd have been better for everyone."

"We should have told you this earlier…" Asparagus lamented.

A peculiar expression came to Tumblebrutus' face. He looked at his brother and swallowed. Pouncival reached his hands beneath the table and took Tumblebrutus'. He expected his sibling to pull out of his grasp, but his brother only squeezed tighter. Pouncival understood—Tumblebrutus needed reassurance. He needed comfort. He needed someone to hold his hand. He needed permission to ask it.

"Who…?" Tumblebrutus faintly got out, unable to finish the question. Asparagus and Jellylorum looked at each other, silently debating who would tell. Jellylorum rubbed at her eyes, then took a deep breath,

"Macavity."

To Be Continued…

A/N: SURPRISE! Bet you didn't see that one coming! Anyway, is anyone still reading this? I wouldn't blame people for abandoning it. I'm terrible at posting.

Anyway, the plot thickens, doesn't it? I think Misto accidentally is keepin' it in the family, if you get what I'm saying. Oops.

Next chapter is probably a heavy one. You have been warned.