**** AUTHOR'S NOTE: After several reviews that my stories were too violent and that I needed psychological help, I decided to go back to Home Improvement's roots with an award winning episode! This will be an episode all of my readers can relate to. ****

The scene opens up in the kitchen of the Taylor household.

TIM: Jill, listen…it's just not working out between us. I can't go on living like this! We need to do ourselves a favor and go our own separate ways…I want a divorce.

JILL: Oh Tim…where did this come from? I thought we were happy! What about the kids! What will Brad, Randy, and Mark think! Let's at least go to marriage counseling! We HAVE to try! For the kids sake!

TIM: I'm not going to no sissy marriage counseling. Ooaaggghhh ooaaagggh oaaaggghhhhh!

*Audience laughs*

Jill begins to cry.

TIM: Oh honey, it'll be okay. Don't worry, be happy! You know, like the song! Oooaaggghh oaaaagghhh oaaaaaggggghhhhhh! Well, let's go tell the kids.

Jill sobbing up a storm follows Tim upstairs into the kids bedroom.

TIM: Kids! We need to talk to you. It's important.

MARK: Mommy! Why are you crying?

Jill can barely speak she is so upset.

TIM: Well…your mother and I…are getting a divorce.

BRAD: What? Why?

RANDY: This isn't fair!

TIM: We have our reasons and how is this not fair? I'll tell you what's not fair is I am sending you all to different foster homes! Ooooaaaagghhhh ooooooaagggghhhh ooooooaaaggghhhhh!!!

*Audience laughs*

JILL: WHAT, TIM?!

RANDY: What do you mean, Dad?!

Mark and Brad sit there astonished as to the change of events.

TIM: I have it already set up. The funny this is…none of you will be able to contact each other! EVER! You will not know where the other one is going and your new foster parents have been sworn to secrecy!

JILL: Tim, you are breaking up this family!

TIM: Ooooaagghh oooaaaggghhh ooooaaggghhhh! That's not all…

MARK: There's more Papa?

TIM: Oh yes…MUCH more…you see…you will all be going to new foster homes OUT OF THE COUNTRY! OOOAAGGGGGHH OAAAGGHH OAAAAGGHHHHH!!! You won't even be able to understand you new foster parents!

JILL: YOU MONSTER!

Jill reaches out to slap Tim, but Tim is prepared. He grabs her arm twisting it, forcing her to the ground.

BRAD: Dad stop! What about my soccer scholarship!

TIM: Son, you will have to give that all up and start a new life with a new family. As you can tell, I've started a new business. The human trafficking business and business is GOOD! OOAAGGHHH OAAAGGHH OAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

*Audience laughs*

Tim grunts and lets go of Jill's arm. Jill runs out of the room crying.

TIM: Start packing, your new foster parents will arrive shortly!

Tim walks back downstairs and goes outside.

TIM: Wilson, you out here?

WILSON: Heidy-ho good neighbor!

TIM: Wilson, I have just sold my 3 sons for money to out of the country families. Should I feel bad?

WILSON: Tim, Tim…Tim…I would just do as the great John Wayne Gacy said right before he was put to death. He said, "Kiss my ass."

TIM: Good advice, Wilson. Thanks.

WILSON: No problemo, Tim! Anytime.

Tim walks back inside and Jill is saying her goodbyes to her children. The foster parents come and take their new children to a far away land.

What adventures lie in the future for Brad, Randy, and Mark? Will they ever find each other again?

STAY TUNED!

Fades to black.