Hey y'all! uh..yeah, this is my first Dip fic, so be gentle okay? Review, I don't care if it's flames or not, cuz I need both! Read and enjoy my spaztic fan-girl delusions! Yay, South park yaoi!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! (cough cough) uh, sorry 'bout that. Enjoy!

Chapter One
Ascension

His father's enraged roar filled the cavern palace, shaking dust from the dark ceiling. Damien ignored it, striding forward toward the entrance.

"Damien!!" The command came, and Damien froze. He could not move. Pushing every once of will and power that he had, he strained against the invisible chains that held him. Breaking them with a soundless shatter, he continued on his way. Damien felt the pressure on his mind as his father tried to hold him back, and he thrust it off savagely.

"I'm not one of your fucking minions, father! You can't control me anymore!" He yelled back. "I hope you die in this prison that God gave you! Stay here in this fucking cell, and rot for all eternity until His archangels destroy you!!"

He drew on his power, feeling it envelop him eagerly. A roiling cloud of black smoke covered him, and he was gone.

It was a beautiful day in South Park. The sun was shining, the sky was cloudless, and birds chirped happily. Then lighting flashed and clouds came to cover the sky, and birds screeched as they took flight in fear. The grass withered, and a cloud of black smoke and ash came into being, bringing with it a howling wind. Damien stepped out of the abyss. He looked around, and frowned. With a flick of his wrist, the clouds scattered, bringing back the sun, and the wind died.

He snorted. "Fucking stereotypes."

Gazing around with blood-red eyes, he started walking down into the town. Finally he was free. No more demon minions trailing after him, reminding him it was time for another lesson on human torture, no father breathing brimstone ash down his neck, no more damned souls crying out in agony below his window every night. Sure, hearing their pain was music to his ears, but even the best music could get on someone's nerves after a while. It had been stifling down in Hell.

He growled. It had been no great secret that Damien wanted to come Earth-side and destroy every living being on earth. He wanted his time in the spotlight, to have his name feared beyond all things. He wanted to create his own Hell. Damien wanted the Apocalypse to happen, and to happen soon. His father always disagreed, saying that it wasn't time yet, to wait just a bit longer. They had had a terrible fight today, complete with roars that split the rocks and molten lava that oozed from beneath, swirling around their feet. His father, Satan, had said that he wasn't ready for the Apocalypse yet. And Damien hadn't liked that. He was fucking 18, time enough to fly the unholy nest. And if he thought he was ready, then like Hell, he was ready!

He came into a busier part of town, walking along the cracked sidewalk. He spotted a dog chasing a ball out into the street. A car was coming, but far enough that the dog was safe. Damien smiled wickedly. He twitched a finger, and watched as the dog froze, right in the path of the car. There was a screech of tires, and the dog was nothing but a bloody smear on the asphalt. His grin grew wider. This was fun.

Leaving behind the anguished cries of the owner, he continued on his way. As he traveled deeper into South Park, Damien used his power to make cars swerve into oncoming traffic, to set buildings on fire, and to make people jump out of windows. He left behind a trail of destruction, a swath of death that he reveled in. An hour later, he had amassed a total of 37 car crashes, 28 buildings destroyed, 136 animals killed, 69 humans murdered and was just about to walk into a park when a voice called out to him.

"Damien? Is that you?"

Damien turned, irate. Had his father sent his demon minions after him already? But instead of a demon in human guise, a tall slender boy, around his age, met his eyes. He had on a maroon blazer, complete wth a bow and baret. The boy waved eagerly, as light blue eyes sparkled gently under blonde hair. His soul practically glowed white.

"How are you, good chap? My word, I haven't seen you since you turned me into a firework to impress the other guys!" he said in a British accent.

Firework...firework...the words struck a chord in Damien's memory, and he suddenly remembered. It had been back in third grade, the first time he had visited Earth on his father's orders. The other guys at his school had not liked him, so he had made reluctant friends with another outcast, a British boy named Pip. Later he had turned him into a firework to impress the other kids, and it had worked. But he had never bothered to find out what had happened to Pip.

"Fuck off Pip, and leave me alone." He growled.

"Oh, but this is a friendly reunion between two old friends; I can't leave just yet!"

"We're not friends, Frenchie."

"I'm British...and I always thought we were friends."

Damien sighed angrily, supressing the urge to set Pip on fire.

"Go away before I turn you into another firework."

Pip's smile grew wider. "Oh, that was jolly fun! I'd never flown before."

Damien felt his eye twitch. What the hell was wrong with this kid? Didn't he get the message? Turning on his heel, he continued his way into the park. Light footsteps told him that Pip followed. Fucking soul-sucking demons, did Pip want to be killed?

He sat down on a nearby bench, half hidden under a tree. Pip followed suit, that stupid smile still on his face. Fucking Hell, this was getting annoying. Damien was seriously debating whether or not to set him on fire when Pip spoke.

"So, what brings you up here?"

The demon turned to look at Pip.

"What?"

"Well, it's been ten years since I saw you last. Surely you're here on some special occasion. A party, perhaps? Or maybe a family reunion?"

"I don't do parties, unless it's to torture human souls, and the only family I have is in hell. And I'm definitely not going back there any time soon."

Pip's smile faded. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did you have a spat with your father?"

Damien almost wished God could smite him down, just to get away from this idiot. Almost.

"Why the hell do you want to know?"

The blonde shrugged. "It's what friends do."

"I told you, I'm not your friend."

"Well, I happen to think you are. So, are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"If you're having some trouble with your father."

Damien felt his anger rise. Who the fuck did this stupid insignificant human think he was, asking about his business? He drew on his power, and the wind started to rise. The sky grew darker and thunder boomed. People in the park started screaming when the first lightning bolt hit the ground and in seconds the park was empty. The shadows around them withered, howling in horrible agony. He glared at Pip, his eyes glowing scarlet.

"I don't have to tell you anything, now LEAVE!!" The last word boomed out, resounding across the empty park. The wind clawed at Pip viciously, but he only beamed, looking around interestedly.

"My, how exciting!" He said in a thrilled tone. "I haven't been this excited since I played cricket with my grandfather!"

Damien just stared at him, the expression 'WTF?' stamped clearly across his face. His display of power had been enough to sent scattering some of his father's greatest generals, but it hadn't even scared this moron. He sighed frustratedly, shaking his head. Okay, that was it. He gave up. He let go of the power, letting the world resume it's natural state. Leaning back against the bench, he closed his eyes.

"My father doesn't think I'm ready to take over the world yet. I disagree."

"Take over the world?"

"Y'know...the Apocalypse. End of the world, the coming and deception of the Antichrist?"

Pip nodded knowingly. "Oh, I see. Maybe your father is right. He is older; he would know about these things."

"And you're not worried about your world ending? At all?"

"Well, things come as they come, and I've fared pretty well so far. I suppose I can put up with that too."

Damien wasn't sure whether to think him optimistic or pessimistic.

"Hmph, my father can go throw himself into the bottomless pit for all I care. I still think I'm ready, and I'm not coming back until he admits it. Besides, when the hell has he invaded Earth?"

Pip thought a moment. "Well, certainly not in my lifetime. Does his fight with Jesus count as an invasion?"

"No."

"Oh, well then, I guess not." The smile came back on his face. "Say, seeing as you're going to be here for a while, would you like to stay at my house? I'm sure my mum wouldn't mind any."

"Fuck no." Damien snorted contemptfully. "I think I can do better than Frenchie's house."

Pip's face fell. "Oh...all right, then. No one comes to my house anyway." He looked down.

"Well...I have to be getting home now. Good luck on the Apocalypse thing."

He walked away dejectedly, not even bothering to remind Damien that he wasn't French, but British. Damien watched him leave, a rare feeling of pity in his black hole of a soul. Poor kid, he was probably still the punching bag for the rest of the guys. Oh well. Wasn't his problem.

He stayed the night at one of South Park's seedier hotels, listening to the random gunshots and screams outside. Hmm, it was just like home, except the gunshots were demon howls and the screams belonged to damned souls. He didn't go to sleep. Demons didn't really sleep anyway.