Hello again. This is the final chapter of this story. As always, a big thanks to those of you who reviewed it, especially Jimmy144, Augmarenne, TW200, Dwarfius, and Jagged. Like I told one or two of them, I have to stop treating these stories like they're homework assignments and the reviews are the teacher's grades. I must be the only person who can take a hobby and give themselves a heart attack with it. (I also golf and sing on stage, too, so I must be masochistic about how I relax.)

I'm going to write a Valentine's Day story for Chuck that will have two versions: T-rated and M-rated. I think I've been reading too much of MXPW's stuff recently. Hope you enjoy it.

As always, please review. Come on, you have until March 1st before the next new Chuck ep. You can squeeze in some reading and reviewing during that time, right?

Alex and Carina drove quickly along the highway, even though their destination was not yet known. The local office was attempting to trace the license plate of the car used by the three men who tried to kill them at the hotel. Alex had the mobile phone attached to her laptop. With Chuck's help, they would be able to track Seo Chang Hee's mobile phone, but they would have to wait until he used it before they could triangulate the signal.

"I have to admit, they don't give the two of you easy missions," Carina said as she drove along the highway while Alex monitored the phone. "Was New York this tough?"

"It wasn't easy. We stopped that bomb with only seconds to spare. Unfortunately, any difficulty I've had with this mission so far has been purely self-inflicted."

"I haven't worked with too many partners in my life. There was always too much conflict or tension. Maybe I'm just too stubborn for my own good."

Alex smiled. "That sounds familiar. But I take it you've worked with Chuck, Sarah, and Casey a few times?"

"It's not something Casey will proudly admit to, but we have," Carina replied as a bit of a randy smirk came across her face. "I must concede having a bit of a thing for John, and I know he has a big thing for me, if you know what I mean." Carina got a little lost in thought. "Mmm, if only we had twenty more minutes in Prague…"

The car suddenly swerved. "Hey, keep it in your pants, Miller. I don't want to end up with a road sign through me just because you were getting horny."

Carina came back to reality. "Sorry. But they are the only people I'd ever want to work with again. I can't stand most agents. Present company finally excluded."

Alex gave a little laugh. "Finally, yeah. My first meeting with them was not a pleasant one, to say the least. Beckman sent me to assess Sarah's relationship with Chuck, and I recommended reassignment."

"I heard about that. I'm surprised she didn't rip your throat out."

"I'm surprised, too. Especially when they assigned me to lead them on the mission in Las Vegas. Things went bad and I blamed Slade for the downfall of the mission. Then I go screw up like I did, and they still save me from being killed by the Russian mob." Alex shook her head as the headache from earlier that morning was making a return visit. "I've made a lot of mistakes lately, but last night had to be the worst of all. I can't really blame Jimmy if he never forgave me. What the hell was I thinking?"

The mobile phone began to beep. Alex looked at it in surprise. "We have him."

She attached an earpiece to the computer and listened in.

"We have them, sir," a voice she didn't recognize said.

"Bring them to the hotel, and your payment will be waiting," replied Seo Chang-Hee.

The phone cut off after that. "Son of a bitch," Alex cursed. She took off the earpiece.

"What is it?" Carina asked.

"I've got some bad news and I've got some really bad news. The bad news is they weren't on long enough for me to trace the location. The really bad news is they have two people captured. They must be talking about Hansen and Jimmy."

"Shit," Carina hissed. "We can still trace Elias' signal on her mobile phone. She has to meet with Seo Chang-Hee at some point if she is to get her money. We'll tell the CIA office to put a high priority on her mobile phone."

"Wait. Maybe he had enough time…" Alex pulled out her mobile phone and dialed a number.

"What are you doing?"

"Jimmy has one of the newer mobile phones. If he had enough time to hit the buttons before he got captured, dialing his number will activate the emergency transponder signal inside of it. Assuming of course they didn't think to throw his mobile phone away."

"Wouldn't Seo Chang-Hee have already scanned for that or removed the battery from his phone?"

"No, that's the point of dialing the phone. It works on a passive system on a small battery inside of the phone, so throwing away the phone's main battery won't disable it. When you dial the number, it will emit a low-power signal that we can trace."

"Did it work?"

Alex listened on the phone. Suddenly she heard a steady beeping sound, and she attached her phone to the laptop. "Got it. The location is coming up on the computer now. He's somewhere in the Gaslamp district. The signal is still moving."

Carina threw the car hard to the right and bolted down the first exit ramp. She re-entered Interstate 5 in the opposite direction, driving south to the Gaslamp district.

Omni Hotel, San Diego
January 9, 2011
11:30 AM

Jimmy slowly opened his eyes. His mind was still in a fog from the tranquilizer dart he received. He tried to move, but his hands and feet were bound. He looked around the room, trying to take in his environment. It appeared to be a large hotel room suite. The condition of the room would indicate that nobody had stayed in it last night. The glasses near the bar, the pads of paper on the desks, and remote still attached to the TV made it appear they were just brought here. He looked to his right and saw Lieutenant Hansen sitting in another chair, still unconscious and also tied up.

Guess I don't get to save the day today, he thought. He wasn't happy with himself, but he couldn't figure out what should have been done differently. Hansen couldn't have been the one to try and take him out; otherwise he wouldn't be sitting here. He activated the emergency transponder in his mobile phone when he saw Hansen fall unconscious. Unfortunately, he didn't have the phone anymore. He was hoping it was somewhere in the hotel, and Alex and Carina would try to call it. Once they heard it, they would know to call in the cavalry.

Hansen woke up next to him. "Commander?"

Jimmy turned to him. "Let me guess. If Dana wants to get back together with you now, you'll have a perpetual headache."

Hansen was shaking. "I killed us, didn't I? They're going to kill us."

"Hopefully not. I have partners who can track my phone signal. There's an emergency transponder inside of it. Once they try to call it, they'll know to send everybody in the joint after us."

"But didn't you erase the files? By the time anybody finds us, we'll be dead. We're worthless without anything to bargain with."

"I put some files on the memory stick that Seo Chang-Hee will have to go through. That might delay him long enough to buy us some time."

"If you don't mind me asking, sir, who are you? You don't act like an officer."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't walk or talk like most of the officers I've served under. Most of them have a very precise way they conduct themselves. You're more like, I don't know, just pretending to be an officer. No offense."

Jimmy shook his head. "Well, I can't take any offense, since I'm not an officer. My name is Roger Murdock. I'm with the CIA. I was sent here to investigate, and another agent found the North Korean spy trying to buy the files. Obviously, Seo Chang-Hee really wants those files and has no problem killing me or kidnapping a member of the U.S. Military to get them. Let's hope my partners can find us. Just don't say anything, no matter what he does to either of us. We have to hold out giving any information as long as possible."

Several men walked into the room. One of them stood behind Hansen with a gun out. Two others stood behind Jimmy. Seo Chang-Hee walked into the room and glared at the two of them.

"Hey, so glad you kissed and made up with Shatner," Jimmy said with the intention of keeping Seo Chang-Hee upset and off-topic. "By the way, did it annoy you that the Harold and Kumar guy played you in the new Star Trek movie? I mean, I'd be pissed if they did a movie about me, and I was played by, like, Seth Rogen."

One of the men behind Jimmy hit him with his gun. Jimmy shook his head clear. He gave the guy a contemptuous look. "I always wondered what ever happened to that 'pants on the ground' guy. Never made a dime off of that, huh?"

"Relax," Seo Chang-Hee said to the very upset person behind Jimmy. "He's with the CIA. That's his job; to keep me from accomplishing my tasks."

"Actually, I'm with the PGA, and my job is to help improve your golf game."

Seo Chang-Hee gestured to the man, who delivered another vicious blow to Jimmy's head. Jimmy was dazed, and he struggled to stay upright.

"Do you plan to continue this, Agent Murdock? Agent Roger Murdock? I already know about you and the other two agents. I saw the redhead three years ago in Malibu. She is not as careful with her surveillance as she thinks. And I believe the other agent helped you in New York a few months ago? A shame, really. A lot of talented people wasted on a futile effort."

Jimmy rolled his eyes. Was there anybody who didn't know about New York? What good was being a secret agent if everybody knew who you were?

----------

Alex and Carina drove into the parking lot of the hotel and the source of Jimmy's mobile phone signal. They walked through the lobby of the hotel towards the elevators. Carina eyed the clerk working at the front desk. She motioned to Alex and walked back to the desk.

"Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me with something," she innocently asked the clerk.

The clerk picked up the phone. "Give me one second ma'am. I have to call a guest's room to give them some information."

Behind the clerk, Alex pointed her gun at his head. "No, you can put the phone down and tell us where they are." Carina reached over the desk to hang up the phone.

"I don't know what you're talking about, ma'am."

Carina aimed her gun as well. "She means the people you are working with. The ones who told you to kill the real clerk, hide him in the back, and then take his place?"

The clerk remained silent. Alex grabbed the clerk and flipped him to the ground. She aimed her gun inches from his face.

"What do you think, Carina? Take out a kneecap?"

"He looks like one of my ex-boyfriends. I say shoot him in the balls."

"You're the boss," Alex replied as she cocked her gun.

"Room 442!" the clerk fearfully cried. Alex pistol-whipped him unconscious.

"Thank you."

Alex and Carina went down the hall to the elevators.

----------

"This memory stick will be quite valuable to my government. The analysts are going over the information already," Seo Chang-Hee boasted while looking at Jimmy with a victorious expression. "However, I think they'll be even happier once I get everything I can out of a man who serves in the command center of an American ship and one of its spies."

"You might as well kill me now, because I ain't talking," replied Hansen, attempting to show some bravado and regain some self-respect.

Seo Chang-Hee looked at him with condescension. "Do you really think it will be that easy? We have your files, and with the right combination of medicines, we will get anything we want out of you."

Jimmy tried to contain his laughter. "Hey, Mr. Sulu, do you think we can listen in when your analysts call you back?"

"Why do you want to do that?"

"I just want to hear them thank you for helping them pick their lucky lottery numbers from the program you sent them."

----------

Alex and Carina exited the elevator. Two men immediately came after them. One threw a punch that connected with Carina, who stumbled back into maintenance closet. The man went in after her. Alex threw an elbow at the second man and then connected with a roundhouse kick, taking the man out. A hard hit from the barrel of a gun landed at the back of her head, and she fell to the ground. She turned around and looked at who hit her.

Susan Elias stood over Alex with a gun pointed at her head.

"You won't stop me from collecting my money," Elias said in a menacing voice.

Alex smiled. "Susan, do you remember Carina Miller?"

Elias turned around in time to receive a hook from Carina's fist. Elias fell to the ground, completely knocked out.

"Yeah, she remembers me," Carina replied.

The two moved down the hall toward Room 442.

----------

Seo Chang-Hee angrily hung up his mobile phone after confirming what Jimmy had just told him about the files.

Jimmy's smile was even wider now. "By the way, we cracked the signal on your phone a couple of hours ago, so that call you just made was probably traced by the local CIA office. That means there will be about 50 agents and cops surrounding this hotel in the next two minutes."

Seo Chang-Hee was slowly losing his patience. The men surrounding Jimmy and Hansen were furious.

"Hey, we didn't sign up for this. You ain't paying us enough to risk getting put away for life."

"Just kill them, and then you can go," Seo Chang-Hee replied.

Jimmy looked towards the door. Underneath the door, he could make out two pairs of feet. Both sets a size 7. Women's size 7."

"And one more thing. Tell your goons when they tie someone up, they should tie the person's legs to the chair and not just to each other."

The two men standing behind Jimmy looked down at his feet. Jimmy pulled the chair up and back, swinging the chair legs hard back and forth, knocking both of them down. The man behind Hansen aimed his gun at Jimmy. Hansen lurched back in his chair and sent that man stumbling. His gun went off and Hansen was shot in the leg. He fell over onto the ground as Jimmy swung the chair leg at one of the men on the ground, nailing him in the face. Seo Chang-Hee took another chair and threw it through the large window at the other end of the room, shattering it. The door broke open, and Alex and Carina entered. Carina landed a blow at one of the men trying to get up, and Alex shot the man behind Hansen before he could bring his gun up. Alex took out a knife and cut the restraints on Jimmy while Carina went to help Hansen with his injury. They turned in time to see Seo Chang-Hee leap out of the window.

"Dammit, he's getting away," Carina said.

Jimmy was beyond furious. He grabbed the gun from the man Alex shot.

"Like hell." He raced for the window.

"Jimmy, wait! You're…" Alex cried out too late as Jimmy jumped out of the window. "…four floors up."

She ran to the window just in time to see Jimmy drop from the tree branch he caught. Carina walked over to the window as well while keeping a gun aimed on the remaining two men who held Jimmy and Hansen. Both women shook their heads.

Carina looked at Alex. "Does he always…"

"Yup."

"Do you think he's…"

"…a few sandwiches short of a picnic? No question."

Carina smiled. "Then if you want to work with him, he must be really…"

"…oh, he definitely is."

Jimmy dropped to the ground and grunted in pain as his shoulder hit a root of the tree poking out of the ground. He pulled himself up and raced towards Seo Chang-Hee's car. Seo Chang-Hee floored it as Jimmy leaped onto the roof of the car. He pulled out his gun. Seo Chang-Hee turned the car hard to the right, and Jimmy was thrown off of the roof. He turned back towards the exit, but two governmental cars blocked his path. He turned to the other exit, only to be stopped by two San Diego Police Department cars. Jimmy ran toward his car and shot out the tires in the back. He came around to the front of Seo Chang-Hee's car and shot the front tires. He aimed his gun at the driver.

"Get out of the car. Now!"

Seo Chang-Hee didn't move. The officers and agents surrounding the car got out with their weapons drawn.

"Get out of the car right now!" Jimmy was ready to empty his gun into the car.

Seo Chang-Hee stared at Jimmy from inside of the car. He gave a malevolent smile.

He then held up something in his right hand. Jimmy's eyes went wide.

"Bomb!!!" Jimmy flew over one of the squad cars, and everybody dove for cover. Seo Chang-Hee pushed a button and his car exploded. Everyone was knocked to the ground and showered with debris.

Omni Hotel
January 9, 2011
12:45 PM

Jimmy sat, still dazed from the explosion, in the parking lot as an EMT took care of his injuries. The CIA office was processing the individuals in the hotel who were to be charged with aiding Seo Chang-Hee, including Susan Elias. Based on her prior convictions, she qualified for a life sentence if she were to be found guilty of any of the dozen counts against her. Lieutenant Hansen was already taken to the hospital. Two San Diego Police officers were treated for minor injuries from the explosion, but things could have been far worse.

Admiral Carter and CIA Field Office Director Whelan slowly approached Jimmy.

"There he is, the man of the hour," Admiral Carter said with a little more punch behind his drawl.

Jimmy smiled weakly. "Thank you, sir. I hope you don't mind if I don't get up this time. My head is still out of whack from that explosion. And I think Agents Forrest and Miller deserve the credit here. After all, they found us. Any word about Hansen?"

"Hansen is at the hospital and should be fine. He's got a lot of trouble ahead of him, though."

"I know that, sir. But he did tell us everything and didn't allow the files to fall into enemy hands. In fact, he saved my life up in the hotel. Do you think the Judge Advocate General will take that into account? It's clear Hansen was doing a bad thing for a good cause."

"I'll tell 'em about it, son," Carter replied. "We'll see what we can do."

"Thank you, sir."

"Hey, you did great work." Admiral Carter shook Jimmy's hand. "Good luck to you."

Carter walked back to his car. Jimmy turned to Whelan. "Thanks for all of your help. Sorry to bring such a mess to your office."

Whelan smiled. "Don't worry. This is nothing. You should see how crazy this town is when the Super Bowl is here. Four months of pure hell to get ready for it, and all I really want to do is just enjoy the game."

Jimmy smiled. "I can imagine. But at least everything is back to semi-normal." The EMT finished with Jimmy, and he rose slowly. He looked a little downcast.

"Everything OK, Murdock? You don't look like someone who just stopped one of North Korea's top spies."

"I'm fine. I guess I wasn't expecting this job to be so crazy. I'm still trying to get used to doing all of this."

"I read your file. You've done a lot of work in a short time. Langley certainly isn't babying you. Most agents don't get as many high-priority cases in five years that you've gotten in 4 months."

"Knowing Beckman, she'll probably be pissed we didn't take Seo Chang-Hee alive."

Whelan laughed. "You're right. But I wouldn't worry too much about it. Luck is a big part of this job. Sometimes, it's on your side." Whelan patted her wheelchair. "Sometimes it isn't."

"Forrest was telling me about what happened to you. I think the four agents you saved would say luck was definitely on their side."

Whelan smiled. "Sometimes, luck is a matter of who you work with." She pointed towards Alex and Carina, who were giving information to some of Whelan's agents. "I'd say you got lucky on that one."

Jimmy nodded. His previous anger towards Alex was almost completely gone. "That I did."

Loews Hotel
January 9, 2011
9:45 PM

Carina walked down the hallway in the hotel, pulling her suitcase with her.

"Thank you for all of your help. I owe you big time for this," Jimmy said as he escorted her to the elevators.

"I admit being apprehensive about you at first, but you did a good job on this mission," Carina replied. "You get a bit nervous sometimes, and you go a little overboard with the crazy stunts. But Sarah has a knack for knowing who the good agents are. She was on target again."

"Thanks. I'll bet you're glad to be done so you can go back to being on vacation."

Carina smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Actually, there is a way you can pay me back."

They reached the elevator. "What's that?"

Carina turned Jimmy towards her. She gave him a piercing come hither look and ran her fingers along the buttons of his shirt. "I'm going to be in Del Mar for another week before my next assignment, and I need a little something to do while I'm waiting." Her voice became even lower and breathier as she got closer to him and let her fingers glide over his chest. "And you still look like you need something to help you relax."

Her lips were mere inches from his as she slid her hand down the front of his pants. "I might be able to relieve some of your stress."

Jimmy raised an eyebrow. He grabbed Carina and kissed her hard. She replied by snaking her tongue deep inside of his mouth. He lifted her leg in his hand as she grinded against his pelvic area and grabbed his hair. He pushed her up against the wall with his body and began caressing her all over. She started breathing heavily and tried to hold on tight.

Suddenly, Jimmy backed away from her, pushed the button inside the elevator for the Lobby, and stepped out. "Thanks for saving my life. Take care of yourself."

Carina looked at him in shock while panting as the elevator doors closed. Jimmy smiled while staring at the elevator.

"Ah, if only I could have pulled that off with the girls in high school," he said quietly to himself as he returned to his room and relaxed on the bed.

A few moments later, there was a quiet knock at the door. It opened slowly and Alex entered. She closed the door and leaned against it, having dreaded this moment the entire day. She knew she had to go through with this, but she was afraid of what would happen next. Jimmy stared at her.

Her voice was barely above a whisper. "My father suffered a stroke. I've been…trying to reconnect with my family since returning from New York. I tried at Christmas, but that ended up being a disaster. My brother and I, well, we haven't gotten along since we were kids. Never have, and I don't know if we ever will. I think he gets mad that he has to be the stable one with the 9-to-5 job and all the responsibilities while he thinks I'm some unfeeling workaholic. Which used to be true. I was deep undercover in Iran when my mother died, and he never forgave me for not coming home soon enough. And now with my father…I was…I was desperate to put things back together. But things have gotten even worse. And then I let it affect my job. I took it all out on you."

Alex walked slowly across the room and sat down on the bed next to Jimmy. He didn't change expression, but he didn't move away, either. Alex was shaking.

"I wish…I wish I could take back last night. I said or did something horrible to you and had no right at all to act that way. What's worse, I don't even remember what it was. I have no excuse for what I did. You've done nothing but help me with these missions and be a good friend."

Alex put her head in her hands. She could feel a few tears coming.

"I'm so sorry, James," she whispered.

Jimmy looked down at the ground. The room was silent. Alex could hear her own ragged breathing. Alex lifted her head slightly and looked at Jimmy, but he was still looking at the ground.

She got up and started to walk away from the bed. Jimmy gently grabbed her arm and pulled her back to the bed. She sat down next to him again. His hand moved down her arm and held her hand.

He looked at her and gently brushed a few tears away from her cheek. "I'm sorry to hear about your father."

Alex shut her eyes and clasped Jimmy's hand in both of hers. Jimmy pulled her in and wrapped his arms around her. Alex's tears came in full force. She shook violently in Jimmy's arms as he held her tight.

"Shhh, it's OK," Jimmy whispered gently into her ear. Alex hung on to Jimmy tightly as the emotions of the last 60 hours overwhelmed her in an unending wave. It felt like the world she knew, the world she had built around herself, had fallen apart. She didn't even have the walls she used to hide behind to keep from getting hurt. She hung on to the one constant she still had. The one thing that refused to be pushed away.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Jimmy," she whispered over and over in his ear as the tears streamed down her face. She could feel Jimmy gently stroking her hair, whispering that everything will be OK, that he was there. For the first time in a long time, she felt safe with someone else. All of her walls were down, and someone was there to make her feel safe in letting that happen. She hadn't felt this way since John and she used to hold each other in his Washington D.C. apartment a decade ago.

"I'm…I'm not used to this," she said as she continued to grip Jimmy firmly. "I'm not used to my life being so out of control. I needed to be in charge. I needed to make the decisions. And now everything is…"

"I know. I wish I knew what I could say to make it better. But I'm just as much of a screw up when it comes to dealing with my emotions. I've been alone all of my life, and I just got used to feeling anger and hate all the time. You'd think I could handle anything anybody says to me. But..."

Alex pulled back and looked at Jimmy. "What did I do last night? I wish I could recall something that I did or said, but I drank too much alcohol to know what happened."

"It's not important. Don't worry…"

"No!" Alex held Jimmy's face tightly. "Please don't write this off. I did something horrible. The look you gave me this morning made me shudder. I'm so sorry for not remembering, but I really need to know, James. Please tell me."

Jimmy hesitated. Alex could feel a cold shiver go through him.

"What is it?"

"You had…well you were drunk and I'm sure you didn't mean it…but you yelled at me thinking I had some sort of perfect family and I couldn't understand what it would be like to have it fall apart. My mother and my sister…they, they died when I was 8. Auto accident. My father was responsible. He was drunk behind the wheel."

Jimmy paused for a second. "He didn't tell me until I was 16. He kept it a secret all that time. He never stopped drinking."

Alex felt the blood drain from her face. "Oh, my God," she whispered. She now understood completely why Chuck wouldn't tell her the story. This was something you had to get from the source. Even her life now was idyllic compared to the horror Jimmy had to endure to make it this far.

"James, I'm so…I'm so…oh, God." Alex grabbed him and held him again.

"That was horrible of me," she whispered in his ear, kissing him on his cheek between apologies. "I'm so sorry."

They sat in those same spots on the bed, holding onto each other, for longer than either of them could remember.

Loews Hotel
January 10, 2011
3:45 AM

Alex opened her eyes and looked around the bedroom. It was still dark outside. She could make out 3:45 on the clock radio behind Jimmy's head. Jimmy and she were still wearing the same clothes they had earlier that night. They were sleeping face-to-face with their arms wrapped around each other. Her face was nestled against his upper arm, and she never felt more comfortable in her life. She watched him as his body gently moved up and down with his breathing. She ran her hand across his cheek, careful not to touch the two bandages from cuts on the side of it. She felt normal for the first time in a long time. Not cold-hearted, not out of control, but the way she always wanted to feel. The way she used to feel when she was with John. She could always lie in the same bed with John for hours on end, and sometimes days depending on their schedules. She never thought she could feel that same way again, but this moment was exactly that feeling. Perhaps it was even better because it took so much hard work and effort to make this feeling come alive again.

She gently placed her lips on Jimmy's, giving him a prolonged soft kiss. She gently stroked his cheek with her thumb as she kissed him again with a little more force. The emotions she felt earlier, channeled into grief for everything that happened in the previous few days, were suddenly rising again in her desire for Jimmy.

She gently pushed him onto his back and continued to kiss him. Jimmy stirred from feeling her on top of him and opened his eyes. She gazed into his royal blue eyes, taking in their gentle color, feeling how he held her through the night when she needed him the most. She held his face tightly in her hands and kissed him with a passion she didn't know still existed in her. His arms wrapped around her and his lips were soft but strong against hers, as her tongue gently played inside of his mouth. She pressed her entire body up against his as she continued to kiss him fervently. His hands roamed up and down her back, caressing every inch of her. She quickly unbuttoned his shirt as she feasted on his neck, licking and nibbling it as she kissed him all over his chest. She helped him get her shirt off and unhooked her bra, pulling his face up to her and smothering him with her breasts. She moaned in passion as his lips and tongue danced along the soft flesh, his hands gently cupping each breast. Her body grinded against him. She made quick work of her slacks and panties, and then went to work removing those same barriers on him. Her body was dripping in sweat as she accepted him inside of her. Their kisses were embers of fire against each other as their passion built up inside of them. Their bodies were intertwined, and it was almost impossible to separate the two as they reached the heights of ecstasy. They collapsed on the bed as they held each other tightly.

Loews Hotel
January 10, 2011
9:00 AM

Jimmy watched Alex put together the last of her luggage. She shut down her computer and placed it in her attaché case. She didn't say much to him in the morning, other than to give him a passionate kiss. She wanted things to be so much more. She hadn't felt this way about someone since John.

If this happened under normal circumstances, she would have been in love with Jimmy. Perhaps she was. But life was out of control right now and she didn't know what she was feeling or how to deal with it.

She didn't know how he felt, either. Given his admission on not being able to handle emotions any better than she could, she was afraid to ask him. Maybe he was in love with her. Maybe it was a matter of her being the first woman who ever made love to him. She wasn't sure, and as much as she wanted to find out, she was afraid he may not feel the same way. She wasn't certain if she could handle that right now.

"What are you going to do?" Jimmy asked.

Alex had made this decision yesterday. It was the only logical one. "I already sent an email to Beckman, requesting a leave of absence. God knows I've got enough vacation time saved up. I would have had to find some time off this year, anyway. 4 weeks worth of vacation will be gone if I don't take them by December."

"Use it or lose it, huh? Will that be enough?"

"I don't know. If I have to apply for FMLA, I will. But however long it takes with my father, I need to do it."

"I feel a bit responsible. You said you didn't have to deal with these emotions before you met me, and now…"

Alex walked up to him and took his hands. "James, I know I have no right to say this, but please forget anything I said when I was drunk. You didn't do anything wrong. I had to deal with this whether I wanted to or not. It's…it's just I'm afraid to do it. But I need to do this. You didn't hurt me; you helped me."

He nodded. "OK. If you need anything, and I mean anything…someone to talk to at 3 in the morning, yell at, get freaky with over the phone…"

Alex laughed. "Well, I'll definitely take you up on that last one. Thank you for putting up with me." She slid her hands around his neck and kissed him. "I'll talk to you soon."

"Take care of yourself."

She held his hands for a few more seconds and then reluctantly grabbed her attaché case and clothes. She left the hotel room. A tear came to her eye as she waited for the elevator. The last five months have put her through the biggest emotional roller coaster she had ever been on. There were so many ups and downs to contend with. She was determined to reconnect with her family, and she was willing to even leave the CIA behind to do it.

She looked back towards the room. She pulled away the first time before she developed an emotional attachment to Jimmy. The second time, her life was in turmoil, and yet he stuck by her.

If she was fortunate enough to get a third opportunity, she had no intention of letting him go.

Pacific Coast Highway
January 12, 2011
11:00 AM

Jimmy stayed around San Diego for another day to finish his reports. Roxie Whelan appreciated his efforts and wanted to take him out to dinner, but he decided to be alone and politely declined the invite. He knew he should have flown back to Washington D.C., or at least check in with General Beckman to see where his next assignment was. But he needed to clear his head first.

He found a beat-up convertible at a used car lot. A reasonable amount of cash meant the dealer wouldn't ask too many questions. He lucked out with the weather; it was sunny and in the 60's as he drove up the coast.

The twelve months since being released from the ICU had been nothing short of crazy. He remembered the old phrase about life beginning at 40. In his case, that was almost literally true. He had to be brought back to life, and he chose to live the life that Chuck and Sarah wanted for him. He certainly never expected things to turn out like this. In the span of five months, he had been on four major missions in four different parts of the world. He was successful in every single one. Chuck and Sarah were right; he was meant to do this job. But he was having trouble with everything that went with the job. He was having difficulty accepting his new life, try as he might. He was starting to feel some emotional drain from being on these dangerous missions. And it still bothered him that his past kept coming up at the wrong moments. Certainly Alex was too drunk to remember what she said, and clearly she didn't mean a word of it. But Jimmy couldn't figure out why it still upset him so much.

His mobile phone began to ring. He saw Sarah's picture on the caller ID. He put his wireless headset in.

"Hi Sarah."

"What exactly did you do to Carina?"

"What do you mean?"

"I talked to her yesterday. She sounded very weird. It was almost like she was dreaming. Did something happen between you two?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Jimmy, come on," Sarah replied in her no-BS voice that let Jimmy know he was about to get in a lot of trouble.

"Well, put it this way: how do you handle a bully?"

"Give them a good hard punch. Wait, you didn't…"

"Of course not," Jimmy replied, annoyed at the accusation. "I just turned the tables on her a bit. You know how she is with men, right? I just let the hunter have a taste of being the hunted for once."

Sarah laughed. "She will never live this down. First Morgan, and now you."

Jimmy was shocked. "Morgan? Seriously?"

"Carina is definitely not used to hearing the word 'no' from men. Don't worry; I'm sure the crazy fog will lift soon. How are you doing?"

"I'm OK," Jimmy lied without a hint of covering himself.

"Yeah, right. What's wrong? Talk to me."

"This…this mission got a bit more complicated than I wanted it to."

"Was it about what happened with Alex?"

"How do you know about that?"

"She called here after she got back to D.C. She wanted to apologize to Chuck and me for how she behaved towards you. Maybe she figured we would talk and wanted to make sure we knew how sorry she was for what she did. She thinks we're very protective of you. And she's right."

Jimmy drove in silence for a moment. "Well, she's on her way back to Philadelphia, I assume. She said she would call, but…"

"You just have to be patient with her, Jimmy. She's having a hard time with all of this. I went through it. She knows you're there if she needs you. Trust me; the woman is crazy about you."

Jimmy shook his head and smiled as he pulled over at a lookout point. "Words I never expected anybody to utter where I would be involved."

"Don't even start, Jimmy…"

"Hey, you're one of only four people on the entire planet who knows my history. Even you have to admit my life is a little crazy."

"Crazy, yes. But even you have to admit we were right. We said you could be a great agent, and so far you've got a success rate any agent would be jealous of."

Jimmy leaned against the hood of the car and gazed out at the Pacific Ocean. He reached into the small cooler in the back seat for a bottle of water. "The spy part I seem to be getting the hang of. I just wasn't expecting the rest of it."

"The rest of it?"

"I don't know. I…I just wish I knew why what she did bothers me so much. I mean I know she was stressed out and blitzed and obviously she didn't mean it, but…why am I…"

"Don't beat yourself up. It takes years to gain the mental strength to keep your emotions working for you instead of against you."

"I guess. It's just…I spent such a big part of my life hating myself. Being angry, not trusting anybody. I figured there wasn't anything out there that was going to hurt me anymore. I just assumed I built up a tolerance to it, but…I'm probably not making any sense."

"Actually, you just described what I went through when I started. You think you're protecting yourself, but all you're really doing is justifying hating yourself. It makes you do things you shouldn't do, and in this business, they'll have you do things any ordinary person wouldn't have the stomach to do. Kill innocent civilians; take an evil terrorist to bed to find out where they'll strike next. I got a chill when Chuck had to burn a civilian and put them underground because they found some leftover hardware and created their own Intersect. It reminded me of how I started with him."

"You never told me about that."

"I know. It was about a year ago. We were just starting to get over your death at the time. It was one of our first cases after your funeral. Things were so touch-and-go for a while, and it reminded me of how cold-hearted I used to be as an agent."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Just skip some of the steps I went through. Find something you can fix about your past. It's a good starting point. Maybe it will help you start seeing what everybody else sees in you. I know you can't bring your family back, but maybe there's something else. Something you can do for yourself. You're not being selfish if you want something. You're only selfish when you try to get it by hurting others. You're a really wonderful person. We know you can do this."

"Thanks, kiddo."

"You still owe us a visit. Why don't you come to L.A. for a few days? If push comes to shove, we'll just tell Beckman we needed your help on a mission."

Jimmy smiled. "I'll be there soon. I promise."

"OK. Remember, you always have family here. You know we love you."

"Thanks, Sarah. Tell Chuck and Casey I said hi."

"Bye, Jimmy."

"Bye."

Jimmy drank the last of the water from the bottle and threw it in the garbage can. He got back in the car and continued driving. His mind was a million miles away from the road, which probably wasn't the smartest idea on a highway with so many hairpin twists and turns.

He didn't know what he wanted, because he never thought was worthy of anything before. The last 16 months, ever since that day he taught the computer class, seemed almost foreign to him. He wasn't used to having a purpose in life, having people depend on him, and having people love him. He didn't know how to deal with it. He didn't know how to deal with his past other than to ignore it. Perhaps that's why Alex's words hurt him, even though she didn't really mean them. No matter how much progress he went through, he couldn't leave his past there. Somehow it always managed to rear its ugly head.

Perhaps Sarah had the right idea: confronting it and fixing it instead of ignoring it. But there was little point in going back to Chicago just to curse at his father's grave or re-visit his old high school where he was tormented on a daily basis.

Without realizing it, he started driving east. He drove towards Route 58 and headed south. As he neared, his mobile phone began to ring.

"Agent Murdock, why have you not returned to Washington?" General Beckman's voice demanded an answer and would not tolerate the wrong one.

"My apologies, General. I got tied up gathering some information out here in California. With your permission, I'd like to be taken off of active status temporarily."

"Why?"

"To be honest, I'd rather not tell you yet, because I'm not certain what I'm doing can be done. But if it can, then everybody will benefit."

Jimmy heard what sounded like an interminable silence over the phone. "Very well, Agent Murdock. You're off-duty for now."

"General, I'm curious. Did everything work out with Lt. Hansen?"

"I talked with a colleague in the JAG office. Hansen will likely serve a short sentence and be reduced in rank. But he'll be able to continue his Navy career. Admiral Carter talked to one of the companies contracting with the Navy, and he was able to get his father a job. And somehow, about $50,000 found its way into a bank account, and now the Hansen's house is out of foreclosure. The mortgage is paid for the next two years. Any ideas on how that happened, Agent Murdock?"

Jimmy smiled. "Haven't a clue, General."

"You have 72 hours to report back to me on what you're doing. And whatever this is had better be successful."

She hung up the phone. Even across the country, her attitude towards agents was obvious, but Jimmy didn't care. This was one thing he wanted that was still under his control.

He drove up to the house. Jimmy heard that he moved here about 8 months ago. The house looked like any other one in the area, but Jimmy suspected he was dealing with a high-tech security system, and there were cameras monitoring his every move.

To say nothing about the man who walked up behind him with the very large gun.

"What are you doing here?" The man was not used to having visitors, especially ones who just dropped in.

"I'm sorry to bother you, sir. But I need your help. You promised you would try to help me once. Perhaps I should have taken you up on it back then, but…"

The man cocked his gun. "I have no idea who you are."

Jimmy smiled. "Actually, you do. You told me I was that angry kid who was full of piss and fire, and that there wasn't anything that I couldn't do. You told me to trust Chuck, Sarah, and Casey."

Jimmy turned towards the man. "And you were right about all of it."

The man staggered back in shock. He immediately lowered his gun.

"Jimmy?"

"Hi, Mr. Bartowski."

To be continued in "Chuck vs. 3 Weddings, a Funeral, Two Retirements, and a Birthday."