A/N – I just had to get this idea off my head. It was blocking me from my main project (which is War Beyond Words, checking it out is a must!). This is a one-shot, and I practically cried while writing this, so grab a tissue, because it's pretty saddening. Please R&R! I do read my reviews, and they are very much welcomed with open arms.

Disclaimer: I am only borrowing these characters from Cassandra Clare and abusing them, so please don't tell her. But these are not mine.

Out The Closet and Into My Heart

Maryse's POV

Robert and I edged towards the Institute, knowing full well what was waiting for us just inside the door. I am not a woman who cries on a daily basis, but after Max's death, I've never felt more sensitive.

Losing my youngest child was, and still is, the hardest thing I've ever been through. I'd rather die than see another person I love die. Of course, in my habitat, this sort of thinking if unnatural. Shadowhunters die all the time.

But Max wasn't a Shadowhunter. He was just a child. Just a little boy…

"Maryse." I looked up and caught Robert staring down at me in intense eyes. We were practically hovering around the Institute, not sure how to go through this. Looking into his eyes, I knew that this was the last thing he wants to do right now.

"Robert," I sighed, "we have to do this one day. Why not get it over with?"

Robert looked away, obviously trying to hide the emotion that has trickled onto his face. Disgust.

"Look, I know you don't want to do this─" I began.

"No, no, you're right." He said, his voice tight. "Let's just get this over with so that we can heal as a family and not as awkward individuals…"

Ever since we've returned from Idris, we've broken off into pairs. Isabelle always went out. Jace was always with Clary, and when I say always, I mean always. And Alec… Well, that's why we're here. The reason why we haven't come together as a family is because of Alec and his relationship with… With….

Go on. Say it. Magnus Bane, a Downworlder. Don't even try to downplay your disgust and anger and─

Shut up. I wasn't that disgusted… Okay, maybe a little. But I was mostly angry. My son, my son, has been hiding a relationship from his own parents for God knows how long! And telling from the kiss Alec gave him at the Hall in Idris, they've been together for a while.

I can still see it… The way Alec cradled his face… The way Alec looked in his eyes… The way he kissed him passionately…

"…And I think we should look at this in a professional way… Maryse, are you even listening?" Robert was saying.

"Wh-what?" I stammered. By the Angel, I need to get my act together.

Robert stared at me for a brief moment before sighing heavily. "Look, just don't get emotional over this. We ask him a few questions about his… Sexual orientation… And then we leave him be. Let's not act out. Their relationship's probably not gonna last anyways."

He opened the door, not even having to recite the normal saying, and stepped into the cold doorway. I shut the door, too dazed to realize that Robert looked too tense, not himself. He was worried about the actual fact that Alec was gay. I was worried about the fact that he hid it from his own parents.

Isabelle knew. Jace obviously knew. Angel, even Clary knew! And she hasn't even known Alec for a full year, whilst I've known him all his life. Literally. Isn't there some type of code that said that sons aren't supposed to keep this type of stuff from their mothers? I mean, I understand keeping it from your father, but your mother? The woman who bore you into this world painfully? What does that say about him?

What does that say about you?

Robert towed my dazed body into the elevator by hand. We stood there for what felt like forever, even though it was only about 10 seconds. I tilted my head slightly and snuck a peek at my husband, who was gripping my hand rather tightly. He was shifting his weight from one foot to the other anxiously, and he was looking around the elevator with pained expressions.

Finally, the elevator stopped, and Robert towed me down the seemingly endless hallway straight to Alec's room. Inside, I heard the faint shuffle of paper. He was reading.

We stood outside the door anxiously. I wanted so badly to just walk away. However, my anger was spilling over into my mouth. So I blurted, "Alec?" without concealing the harshness.

There was a brief silence before I heard him sigh and walk towards the door. He opened it all the way and looked at us while scratching his messy hair. "Is something wrong?"

I almost wanted to slap him and say that everything was wrong. I wanted to say that I just lost my youngest son and I wasn't gonna lose my eldest son to a Downworlder. However, I kept that side of me down my throat. Instead, I asked, "Can we come in? We need to talk…"

I shadow seemed to pass over Alec as he stepped aside and let us in. He knew why we were here. There didn't need to be any introductions. Thank the Angel…

Robert towed me to Alec's bed and sat us down. Alec leaned against the wall facing us with his arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing dark blue pajamas and a long sleeve white sweater that none of us obviously bought. It looked like a designer sweater, and something that Isabelle might wear. Magnus…

"How long?" Robert whispered.

"4 years─" Alec began.

"You've kept this from us for 4 years?! What the hell, Alec?" I exploded. I bit down on my bottom lip to prevent the floodgates from spilling over. This is the last thing we need right now.

Alec looked away sadly. "I didn't know how to tell you… I'm sorry…"

"Clary knew," Robert spat. "Isabelle knew. Jace knew. The whole fucking world knew. Why not us?"

Alec stood off of the wall and balled up his shaking fists. He clenched his jaw and glared at his father.

"How can you even ask me that? I didn't tell Clary. Izzy and Jace just knew. I didn't tell anyone, except for maybe Magnus─"

"Please don't say his name…" Robert whispered in a strangled voice. When I turned to look at him, I saw that he was biting his lip too. His blue eyes were drowned with fury and hatred.

"Why?" Alec argued. "Why can't I say his name? I love him─"

Robert jumped up so fast, I thought he was gonna disappear. "He's a Downworlder! Alec, don't you see. He's a demon in disguise!

"Alec," he continued, "I've raised you better than this. I've accepted the fact that you're gay but… a Downworlder? You could do so much better!"

Alec through his hands in the air and glared daggers at Robert. "I don't give a rat's fucking ass who you think is good for me. If you can't even tell that you're son's gay─"

"That's enough!" I snapped, jumping up like Robert. "Dammit, Alec, how were we supposed to know? You could have dropped hints or something!"

"Well," he snapped, "you weren't here to receive those hints."

There was a long silence that seemed so loud that my ears rang. Next to me, Robert was shaking like he might poof into a werewolf. Alec looked out the window, no regret lingering in his eyes. Alec's never stood up to us like this. He's never cursed out loud like this, especially to us. He's never dressed like this… Magnus.

Someone cleared their throat at the doorway. When I turned my head and looked, Isabelle and Jace were standing in the doorway with frowns on their faces.

"Dad… Please don't… Please don't say things like that." Isabelle pleaded. "Magnus has done so much for Alec… He's brought out another side of him, a side only a lover can bring out. Whether he's a Downworlder or not, Alec's happy with him. Isn't that enough?"

From the corner of my eye, I saw Alec staring at Isabelle with his jaw dropped. I had to fight to keep my jaw in tacked. Never have I ever seen Isabelle defend Alec like this. Usually, she just watches and laughs to herself.

However, Robert wasn't touched. "Do you know how embarrassing this is? To watch your eldest son swap spit with a Downworlder in front of the Clave?"

"Robert, don't." I hissed. I turned to Alec and sighed heavily. "Look, son, it just pains us to know that you can't even come to us with stuff like this─"

"Why by the Angel would I ever come to you when you guys immediately shoot Magnus down as if he's a disease? Did you not just hear Robert? He doesn't care about my happiness. No, he cares about his fucking self─"

"Don't you use that tone with us!" Robert hissed, taking a step towards Alec. "And you will not address me as if I'm not your father─"

"You aren't!" Alec cried out. "You know what you are?"

"What?"

"You're just another fucked up version of one of Valentine's twisted little servants who don't care about anyone but themselves─"

Alec's malicious sentence was cut short by a loud slapping sound that erupted throughout the room. I stood there, horrified, before I realized why Alec had fallen to the floor holding his red cheek. The cheek that his father just slapped harshly.

"What the hell?!" Jace shouted. "Who the hell do you think you are?!"

Isabelle rushed across the room and put a protective arm over Alec. She glared up at Robert in disgust. However, Robert's angry mask hadn't cracked. It seemed as though it just got thicker with hatred. He balled up his fists and practically growled at Alec.

"Don't you ever say his name in this house again. As long as you live under my roof─"

"Then I guess I don't belong here, huh? Since I'm such a disappointment…" Alec shoved Isabelle away and walked past Robert to his dresser, shoving Robert's shoulder on the way. He yanked open the drawer and pulled out a bunch of clothes. "Izzy," he whispered, "get my big duffel bag out of the closet, please…"

Isabelle got up and did what he asked, but with a confused expression. She gave it to him, still frowning. "Alec, what are you doing?"

Alec shoved the clothes into his duffel bag and zipped it up. "I don't belong here."

Those four words were enough to snap me out of my frozen state. "Alec, no! Please! Your father's just being rough around the edges. We're still recovering from Max's─"

"And you don't think I'm not?" Alec snapped. He finally looked at her again, but this time there was no anger. His face was filled with agony and pain. I could practically see his cheek throbbing, but knew that's not why he looked like that. There were tears in his eyes that were starting over onto his flustered cheeks. "I miss him too, mom. I miss him so much that it hurts to even walk past his room, let alone this house…"
"Alec…" Robert's voice was soft. He turned to Alec with a pained expression of regret. "Alec, I'm sorry─"

"Don't. At least I know how you feel. At least I know where I belong…"

"No!" I wailed. Tears were streaming down my face as I fell to my knees. When I said I was feeling sensitive, I wasn't kidding. "Alec, please! I just lost one son… Please don't make me lose another…"

"Mom…" Isabelle hiccupped. I realized that she was crying too. Her tears carried the makeup she was wearing down her cheeks with it, making streaks of black on her saddened face.

"Alec… I overreacted… Please, I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'm not asking you to forgive your mother. But please, don't leave. We can work this out…" Robert begged. The last time I've seen Robert this vulnerable was when Max died.

Alec stared at the floor through a thick layer of escaping tears. He was biting down on his trembling lip too hard, which was causing it to bleed. I wanted to wipe the blood away and tell him not to do that. Just like what Max would say whenever he saw Alec biting his lip…

You've let your anger get too far…

Jace, whom I forgot was there, shuffled over to where I was, bent down, and held me in his arms. He put his cheek to my head, and I felt something wet trickle into my hair. Jace was crying too.

"We all need to stop yelling at each other and face the facts," Jace said quietly. "We're all angry at Valentine. We're all angry at Jonathan. We're all very angry at the fact that Max isn't here. But we're not angry at each other. Robert's taking his anger out on you, Alec, which is messed up. But where else can he put it? The battle's over, and Max isn't coming back, no matter how hard we fight."

I couldn't help but flinch at the last part. He's never coming back…

"Robert… No, dad… Dad, look at your son. Look at him, and I mean look at him. He's just as angry as you are. But he's found someone to cuddle and cry with, just like you and mom. I've found Clary. And Isabelle's… Found God knows who, but that doesn't matter," he chuckled.

Isabelle stuck her tongue out at Jace, but smiled. "He's right. No matter who or what Magnus is, he's there, and he's not gonna leave because he cares for Alec very much. Hell, if it weren't for their affair, Magnus wouldn't have helped us all those times."

Robert shoved his hands in his pockets and bit his lip. So that's where Alec got that from…

"They're right… I'm sorry. I've been so out-of-it and not myself lately… I just need to accept─"

"You don't need to accept anything," Alec said softly. "You just need to respect. You don't have to like it. But just tell me your okay with it…"

Robert looked into Alec's eyes and smiled guiltily. "I'm not exactly there yet. But I'll work on it, and I promise you that I'll be okay. In the meantime… Can you stick around for awhile. I haven't really seen you…"

Alec laughed, throwing his head back, and wiped his tears. "Jeez, dad, if you were jealous, all you had to do was say so!"

Robert snorted and pulled Alec into his arms. Even though Alec's grown so much, he seemed to fit just right in Robert's arms. Like he was made to be cradled by his father, no matter how old he is.

Isabelle walked over and hugged me too, Robert and Alec joining her right after. We sat there holding each other and whimpering, each of us remembering Max's sweet smile and his always drooping glasses.

Suddenly, Alec's phone went off, making all of us jump and squeal a little. Alec fished his phone out of his pocket and looked at the Caller ID. He cursed under his breath. He flipped it open.

"Hi, Magnus!" he said as cheerfully as he could. Robert cursed something that sounded like "I fucking hate your boyfriend."

After a short pause, Alec sighed. "I can't talk right now. I'm spending time with my fam-fam. I'll talk to you later." Another short pause. "I love you too. Bye."

He hung up his phone and smiled at us apologetically. But all I could do was laugh.

"Fam-fam? Is that what we're called nowadays? Fam-fam?"

Robert joined in on my laughter. "Jeez, Alec, you are so gay. I don't know how we missed it!"