Author's note: Okay so, I woke up the other day with this idea for an AU where France was a male maid, disguising as a woman and Arthur was the lord he worked for. I worked off of that and wrote the fic pretty much all in one go but I'll be splitting it into chapters. I'm actually really not sure what time period I was thinking of when I wrote this. It feels kind of Victorian but then again I added in phones, so...yeah. Maybe the 1920s or something. I'm sorry if France and England seem OOC in this but this is an AU. So enough of my blabbering. Enjoy!

Also, for reference on who Arthur's siblings are:
Patrick = Scotland
Erin = Ireland
Gareth = Wales

My Maid's a Man

Chapter 1

The day Francis Bonnefoy was given to the Kirkland family as a maid, his mother disguised him as a girl. She combed his hair neatly, put him in a pretty dress and sent him off to go make money to pay off her gambling debts. She told him to go by the name Francine around the family, that under no circumstances were they to find out he was actually a boy.

When he met Lord and Lady Kirkland for the first time, they regarded him rather coldly. He knew being French would earn immediate dislike. He bowed to them respectfully, and told them he would serve them as a maid for as long as they would have him. Lady Kirkland fell under his spell first and warmed up to him very quickly. She showed him to the maids' quarters and told him what he would be expected to do so long as he lived there.

She then called her children down, and Francis watched as 3 boys and 1 girl all descended the large staircase. The girl and what looked like the eldest boy looked nothing like their siblings, which Francis suspected might be because they had different mothers. Lord Kirkland looked the type to be easily swayed by a pretty face. His gaze stopped on the youngest of the children, a small boy no older than five years old. He noticed that all the siblings had somewhat bushy eyebrows but none were as bushy as the little boy's.

Francis, in his new maid dress, nervously stood beside Lady Kirkland. "Children," she said. "This is Francine. She will be your maid from now on."

They each stared at him curiously and he noticed the look of venom on the girl's face before she stomped away in a huff. "Francine," Lady Kirkland continued. "Would you go upstairs and prepare a bath for Arthur?" She held the hand on the youngest boy, whose green eyes almost captivated him.

"Oui, Madame," he said softly.

"Thank you. Oh and Francine?" Francis stopped on the stairs and looked down at her. "You are not in France anymore. Do not speak that horrid language around me or the children, do you understand?"

He swallowed hard, biting his tongue at the insult threatening to leave his mouth. "Yes, ma'am," he replied stiffly, hating her. He continued walking up the steps and had a few minutes to explore the upper floor before he heard the sounds of feet coming up the stairs and he rushed into the bathroom. He hurriedly turned the water on and waited for the tub to fill up.

Arthur walked in a few moments later, frowning at him. Francis waited for him to undress. Nothing happened. "Aren't you going to get in, my lord?" Francis finally asked.

"You're s'pposed to undress me first," the boy said.

Francis blinked and sighed, nodding his head in defeat and cursing his mother in his head for making him take this job. He lifted the ruffled shirt above Arthur's head and then pulled the shorts down. Arthur continued to stare at him and that's when Francis realized he was expected to put him in the tub as well. He lifted Arthur underneath his arms and set him into the water. He turned to leave but Arthur called him back.

"You have to wash me too," he explained. Francis blushed furiously at his mistake and sat down at the edge of the tub, grabbed a washcloth, and began to wash the boy. "You've never done this before, have you?" Arthur mumbled.

"No, I haven't," Francis replied, putting the cloth down so that he could wash the other's hair.

"I can help, if you want."

"Help?"

"I can tell you things."

"Oh? Like what?"

"Like how Father likes his tea. Or how Mum always wears a green dress on Sundays. Or how never to question what Erin and Patrick get up to when they're alone together."

Francis smiled slightly. "You would help me?"

"Mum fired our last maid 'cos she was too stupid to remember anything. I never liked her though."

"But…you like me?"

Arthur turned to look at him with a frown. "I don't know. I don't particularly dislike you. And you're the youngest maid Mum has ever hired."

He stood up and Francis took that as his queue to lift him out of the tub and to dry him off. "I gladly accept your help then, sir," he said.

Once he was dressed, Arthur led him down the hallway to his room. "You're supposed to tuck me in at night," he said as he climbed onto the bed.

Francis looked around the boy's room, smiling at all the fairytale books lying around. "Do you like fairytales, young master?" he asked.

Arthur turned pink slightly. "Yes. But no one ever reads them to me. Mum used to when I was younger but…"

"Would you like me to read one to you?"

His eyes widened. "But you need to put Gareth, Erin, and Patrick to bed. You don't have the time."

"I can make time," Francis replied, sitting down on the chair beside the bed. "Which book would you like me to read?"

Arthur was very poor at hiding his excitement. He pointed to a green book settled on his top bookshelf. "There's many fairytales in there."

Francis nodded and stood up to get it. "'The Green Fairy Book'? Is that right?"

The young boy nodded his head enthusiastically. "Yes, that's the one!"

"Which story would you like me to read?"

"All of them!"

Francis chuckled. "I can't read them all tonight, mon petit." Then he gasped and covered his mouth with his hand. "I-I'm sorry. Forgive me."

"For what?" Arthur asked as he cocked his head to the side. "You didn't say anything bad."

"I…I spoke French. Lady Kirkland told me not to."

"Well, I don't mind it. You can speak it around me."

Francis felt relieved. "You would let me?"

"Sure, you're not hurting anyone by speaking it."

"Thank you," Francis said. "I will read one story tonight and then sing you a song my mother used to sing to me before I slept, okay?" He opened the book and watched the boy's green eyes light up as soon as he turned the page. "Once upon a time…"

A few minutes later, Arthur was nearly asleep. Francis put the book down and tucked him into bed. "Are you still awake?" he asked.

"Yes," came the whispered reply. "Are you going to sing to me or not?"

He laughed. "Such a demanding young master I have. All right. Frère Jacques, frère Jacques, Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous? Sonnez les matines! Sonnez les matines! Din, dan, don. Din, dan, don."

Arthur blinked his tired eyes. "It sounds nice."

"Go to sleep, young master. I will see you in the morning."

"G'night, Francine."

Francis exited his room, and nearly bumped into another maid. "Oh goodness child!" the older woman exclaimed. "You must watch yourself. And-why are you just leaving the youngest master's room now?"

"I was reading him a bedtime story," Francis said.

The other maid's eyes widened. "Stupid girl! You're supposed to spend a minute tucking him in and then move on to the next child!"

"Yes, but-"

"No buts! Now go put the girl and eldest boy to sleep. I'll deal with the other."

Francis watched her leave, and wondered just how he was going to survive working for this family.