Ok now for the long A/N where I get to thank everyone for being so patient. After my laptop was stolen and along with it the entire outline and ideas for this story, I just lost the urge to write. I kept getting stuck everytime I'd sit down to do it. I knew that eventually I would get back to it, it just happened to take more time than I initially planned. I am so grateful for the kind words I received from everyone. I also really really really need to thank my beta, Georgia Dawgette. Through all the months that I sent her well NOTHING she kept gently urging me on, and totally stuck by this story and was completely understanding about my inability to write anything. So...I'm back and hoping to be able to update regularily. I'm still rebuilding the outline but I do know where I want this story to go...for the most part. This is just a short chapter to get me back on the horse so to speak, hope you all enjoy...

Previously

"God I love you." I groaned, once I was capable of speaking. Wrapping Bella in the quilt from the bed, I turned us on our sides and pulled her into my arms.

"And I you." Bella sighed as she curled into my side, her hand flat over my chest where my no longer beating heart lies.

This, I pondered silently, must be what paradise is like. For this brief moment in time, nothing outside the cocoon surrounding us mattered. The world outside and all of the obstacles we still faced held no weight. Bella had done for me what no being or thing had ever been able to do before...for the first time in over a century I felt at peace.

It was normally at this time of night, when everything was silent, and there were no competing emotions to mask my own, that I would become restless, with too much time to reflect. It was also when my self flagellation was generally at its worst. The text book tortured soul, that was me. Granted, I had more than my fair share to atone for. Much of what I'd done in my existence, hell pretty much all of it if I was being completely honest, could not be rectified. The vast number of innocent lives I'd been responsible for ending, a number which didn't include the countless I'd doomed to a soul less existence serving Maria, were merely only a fraction of my many and varied sins. Where some would consider our vast and vivid memory to be a blessing, I begged to differ. A perfect recollection of every horrific deed I was guilty of could be brought to the forefront of my consciousness with little effort, hence my nightly ritual of allowing the pictures to play through my head, like a looping horror movie, while I let the guilt eat at me had begun.

But not tonight...

In fact for the last few nights the restlessness had been held at bay. The reason for my reprieve was currently sound asleep in my arms. Bella's deep and even breaths, the steady beat of her heart and the peaceful look gracing her beautiful features seemed to keep my waking nightmares at bay. Though, tonight was different from the others that I'd held Bella while she slept. There was a whole new dynamic to our relationship now, as if everything we'd felt before tonight had been intensified somehow, made deeper and stronger. I had worried that because Bella was still human, the bond forged when vampire mates made love for the first time would not be possible for us, well not in its entirety anyway. The moment our bodies joined, I had experienced a sensation that nearly defied description. Even now, hours later, it was difficult to put into words. All I knew for certain was that this girl, this phenomenal woman, had reached and now owned a place in me I never thought existed. If what Carlisle claimed about our souls was true, then mine now belonged to Bella.

The physical responses that this shy human girl could illicit from me were phenomenal. No one before her, not even Alice had been capable of provoking such responses from me, both physical and emotional. I couldn't begin to explain the depth of what I felt for Bella, or how it had only intensified now that she was truly mine. A primitive notion I could admit, but the reality in my world was that Bella now belonged to me. Although it stirred a twinge of guilt within me, a small part of me couldn't help but rejoice at the fact that if her and Edward were to come into contact he would know immediately that I had claimed her as my own. At one time, her heart may have belonged to him in some way; but as of last night, Bella was mine...heart and body. How could I explain to Bella how last night had changed me, had changed us without completely overwhelming her was a whole new issue, and one that for now could wait.

I took note of the time, the red numbers blaring from the clock on the bedside table. 5:00 am. With trepidation, I acknowledged that Bella and I realistically had only a few hours left completely to ourselves. Knowing Alice, she would be here bright and early to whisk Bella away on the promised shopping trip. My hope that the storm that had been looming all last evening would break up to allow for the sun to shine and effectively quash any planned outings with Alice, was dashed as the rain continued to beat against the roof, the clouds still thick and dark. For this reason, I couldn't manage to strum up even an ounce of remorse when I used my gift to manipulate Bella awake, making it seem as though her body had decided to awaken naturally.

Bella stretched and yawned sleepily, as her eyes slowly fluttered open. Her hair was a tangled mess, the curly length flowing over her bare shoulders, her lips kiss swollen, and a slight pink flush staining her cheeks as she pulled the blanket up from where it had slipped, revealing the tops of her breasts to my gaze. I don't think she'd ever looked more beautiful.

"Morning darlin'." I drawled as I leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"Are you sure it's morning?" Bella's face wrinkled in adorable sleepy confusion. "It's still dark Jazz."

Raising my hand, I rubbed the back of my neck while giving Bella what I was sure was a sheepish look "Yeah, well...we only have a few hours until Alice makes good on her promise to whisk you away."

"I knew there was no way I woke up on my own at this ungodly hour." Bella's tone was teasing, and the smile gracing her generous mouth assured me she was anything but upset upon realizing I was responsible for waking her. "Are you sure you didn't just get bored watching me sleep?"

"Darlin' watching you sleep is anything but boring." I murmured before brushing my lips against the soft curve of her jaw.

Bella shook her head and pulled a pillow over her reddening face. "Do I even want to know?" Bella mumbled into the pillow.

Plucking the pillow out of Bella's grasp, I chuckled at the vision of her eyes closed tightly, a dark red staining her delicate features. Stretching out beside her, I tucked her hair behind her ear before leaning down to pepper kisses along her bare shoulder, up the slope of her neck, across her jaw to her mouth that was set in an adorable pout.

"Bella..." I began between kisses "Baby, open your eyes."

Bella's only response was a nearly imperceptible shake of her head.

"I've seen, and touched nearly every inch of your body, Bella. Yet you're going to let a few words and sounds embarrass you?" I asked, attempting to use reason to draw her out of the intense mortification she was feeling, without having to resort to manipulating her emotions.

"Sounds?" Bella's eyes shot open. "There were sounds too? Oh just kill me now." She groaned, attempting to pull yet another pillow over her face.

Grasping both of Bella's tiny wrists in my hand, I still her almost frantic lunge for something to hide behind. "Those sounds were some of the sexiest things I ever heard, the only exception being when you screamed my name last night." I nearly growled out the admission.

Bella's movements stilled, and her gaze settled on me. "Really?" There was still uncertainty in her voice.

"So innocent." I whispered, while the hand that was not holding her wrists together slid under the blankets covering her beautifully bare body to pull her flush with my own still nude form. "You have no idea what you do to me Bella."

Burying her face in my chest I didn't miss the mumbled "Ditto."

"Oh but darlin' that's where you are mistaken." I tilted her face up so that I could see the reaction my words were about to provoke. "I am quite aware of absolutely everything I make you feel." And there it was, the faint rose hue I knew my words would trigger, tinting her creamy complexion.

"Jasper that is so unfair!" Bella's whined adorably. "You're using your mood reading mojo for evil."

Brushing the curtain of her hair out of my way I nuzzled my lips against her ear. "I wouldn't really consider it evil, and besides my mood reading mojo as you so eloquently described is only one of a full arsenal of weapons I possess."

"Oh?" The words were sighed breathlessly from between Bella's lips as she tilted her head, giving me access to the luscious slope of her throat which I took full of advantage of. Alternating between feathery kisses and soft swipes of my tongue against her skin, I could tell the precise moment that I'd once again broken through Bella's barrier of shyness and endearing modesty, to ignite the spark that had erupted into a flame last night.

BPOV

It would never cease to amaze me how Jasper could sway my emotions from complete and utter mortification, to nearly breathless passion with only a few words, and tender touches.

The embarrassment I'd felt only moments earlier, all but dissipated with the feel of his cool lips against my skin. My body responded to him at once. Goosebumps covered my skin, shivers ran up my spine, and I could almost feel the blood pumping through my veins as my heart rate accelerated. I had no control over these responses, as if I was a puppet and Jasper controlled my strings in the best possible way. Rather than allowing the lack of control to freak me out as I was so prone to do, I gave in, and allowed the sensations he was creating to take me away to that place where only Jasper and I existed. The place where all my insecurities disappeared, where there was no Edward, no obstacles…..holy hell obstacles…..Charlie…Jacob. How had I not even considered how they would react to the sudden and unexpected changes that had taken place in my life in the past few days.

Panic, pure and simple panic gripped me. Jasper may no longer technically be living with the Cullen's but to Charlie he would still be a Cullen, Edward's brother and there was no way that fact would invoke warm and fuzzy feelings in my dad. However, Charlie I could handle for the most part, but Jacob would be another matter entirely.

"Darlin', what is it? What's wrong?" I had barely noticed that Jasper had stopped his ministrations and was now looking down at me, concern etched on his face. "Did I hurt you?|

By this point I was nearly hyperventilating, so I was all but certain that the wheezed "No, no…It's nothing." I managed to answer not very convincingly. Not to mention the fact that I was attempting to convince an empath that I was not in the throes of a near panic attack.

Clambering over Jasper's body to escape to the side of the bed, I dangled my legs over the edge and hunching my shoulders I hung my head towards my knees, taking deep, hopefully calming breaths. I kept my face turned away from where I'd felt Jasper silently sit beside me, and for the first time since I was a child I truly wished that I still believed the whole 'if I can't see you, you can't see me' myth.

"Well Baby, I call bullshit; and regardless of whether you look at me or not, I can in fact still see you." His tone was laced with a dose of sarcasm, and a touch of irritation.

"Charlie…Jake." I was quite aware my broken answer probably made no sense to him. How was I going to tell him that I was flipping my lid over the prospect of outing our relationship to my father and my best friend? This should have been happy news, and for me it was. As for Charlie and Jacob, there was absolutely no way they would receive this news positively.

"If I didn't have such a healthy ego, I'd be worried that you were thinking about your dad, and another man while I was attempting to make love to you." The humor in Jasper's drawl was evident.

Shaking my head, I made a sound between a sob and a laugh, but sounding more like a snort.

"Thank you." I sighed, as I leaned my head against the cool strength of his shoulder.

"Ready to talk now darlin'?" Jasper's gaze was less intense, and more inquisitive now.

"I was thinking…thinking about how it felt like we were in our own little world last night and this morning. A place where nothing can touch us. Where there is no Edward, or family reactions to worry about. Then it dawned on me, about how Charlie and Jacob are going to react when I tell them." I drew my lower lip between my teeth while raising my eyes to gauge Jasper's reaction to my words.

Silence….

"It's not going to be pretty Jazz." I added

Silence….

"With Jake it's kind of ingrained for him to hate you." I cringed at how my words sounded, as though I was defending what I generally considered to be a ridiculous feud.

Silence….

"And well Charlie, he's isn't exactly going to be jumping for joy seeing as how you are Edward's brother…" My words trailed off as they were met with more silence. "Will you please say something?" I was on the verge of another panic attack, but this time for an entirely different reason.

"Bella, these are things I've already considered." Jasper's words didn't surprise me, although his silence as I'd relayed my thoughts to him still had me perplexed.

"Then why the whole…the whole…..muteness?" I couldn't leave the question unasked.

"Muteness Bella?" Jasper quirked his brow and twisted his lips into a slight grin.

"Really Jasper? You want to give me a grammar lesson now?" I huffed. "So…..?" My voice trailed off.

Jasper turned to face me, reaching out to tuck a few wayward curls behind my ear, his cool fingertips brushing across my jaw and down the slope of my neck. A shiver ran through me that had nothing to do with the frosty temperature of his touch.

"Darlin', I will tell you if you want." Jasper dipped his head, to replace his fingertips with the silky touch of his lips. "But wouldn't you prefer we make better use of our limited time together this morning?"

"Mmm hmmm." Was all I was able to breathlessly mumble while tipping my head to the side to ease his access to my neck where his icy lips were. While I knew we needed to talk about Jasper's lack of a reaction to my explanation, the responses his lips and fingers were drawing from my body could not be ignored. Later…talking would definitely have to wait until later.