A/N: This right here is the original TGDR with just a tad of editing I made after immediately after I posted it the first time. It's all in one document, so it'll be just one loooong read as this monstrosity is 74 pages of Sheldon/Penny fiction. Hot damn.
Enjoy, all you purists.

The Gravitational Dynamism Revelation

Written by Amputation

Commense

Sheldon glowered for perhaps the hundredth time within the past half hour. It was bad enough that his food had gone cold, but the incessant thudding that came from his blonde ignoramus of a neighbor's apartment was slowly driving him crazy. Ever since her—as Wolowitz put it—"messy" schism from Leonard, she had become more secluded, to say the least. Leonard had once again begun seeing Stephanie again, which pleased Sheldon to some extent. Despite the loss of his roommate's company, he felt comfortable by himself … unless one of his incredibly unintelligent neighbors suddenly decided that playing their music far above reasonable decibel levels. Sheldon felt the familiar tic around his left eye and the twitching of his upper lip. This required instantaneous cessation. Sheldon switched his laptop into sleep mode and stood from his spot, stalking to the door of his apartment and heading across the hall to the door from which the loud sounds emanated. His eye continued to twitch and he felt the veins under his skin pulse dangerously with his irritation.

Her music is decibels above any socially acceptable level.

"Penny!" he knocked thrice in rapid succession, "Penny!" Repeat, "Penny!" Repeat, "Penn—"

Sheldon watched as the door slowly swung inward, a soft creak being released from the obviously un-oiled hinges. Sheldon scowled and felt his irritation increase exponentially.

Really? Penelope, you have—once again—displeased me. Have I not often and repeatedly explained to you the simple, yet incredibly important social norm of locking one's own door? Strike, Penny!

Sheldon swung open the door, a tirade spewing from between his lips before he even was aware of it.

"Penny, you have left your apartment unsecured, and thus I am now present to explain that your music is far too—"

Sheldon felt his eyes widen at the scene before him and felt his words die in his throat.

"—loud? … oh …"

The "beautiful mind" of Dr. Sheldon Cooper, PhD was rendered into a state of shock as a visceral response to the blonde woman dancing, unaware, around her apartment. Her hair, pulled back into a ponytail, swung back and forth with each sway and grind her body performed, and the motions sent shivers up his spine. Why, he was unsure, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from her lascivious motions; her body convulsed in a way that seemed reminiscent of primal mating dances he had seen performed by other mammals on the Discovery Channel and made his breath catch in his throat the way her eyes closed gently and her lips parted so she could breathe through another orifice to provide better oxygen. Sheldon's scientific mind soon became lost to the primal side that rarely was accessed. He continued to stare. She was sweating, indicative that her activities had been going on for some time, also signified by her accelerated inspiration and expiration rates and flush of her body. Sheldon observed her attire, which was a surprise. She wore a tight, faded blue t-shirt with the Superman symbol stretched over her substantial—braless—chest, matched with a pair of light cerulean boy short-styled undergarments with the symbol repeated anteriorly, and the words "HIS WOMAN" posteriorly. Her feet were clad in white tube socks, reminiscent of the style he wore. He contemplated for a moment as to where and when she had obtained both the shirt and socks before he realized he was staring at a full-grown, non-related, attractive female without her knowledge. Immediately, Sheldon panicked; his face heating up as he bolted from her apartment, shutting the door and leaning against it.

Good lord! What has just transpired? Is that concupiscent combination of chaos and form what she calls "dancing?"

Sheldon forced himself to take deep breaths as he waited for his heart rate to drop back down to normal. He swore he felt his asthma act up a bit as he struggled to breathe when he remembered her movements. He ran a hand over his face, as though the motion could remove the images from his mind (which obviously was impossible, seeing as he had a photographic memory).

Her perspiration was rather heightened, as was her breathing pattern and more than likely, her pulse as well … her shirt clung nicely to her brea—

Sheldon felt his heart rate increase and he shut his eyes tightly, focusing on another aspect.

—SUPERMAN? I for one never would have assumed she was a Superman fan … matching undergarments..? Hm. When did she go out for clothing? She never did; I would have known. Obviously, that shirt belonged to someone else, the socks too. I did lose my extra small Superman shirt a while back, as well with a few pairs of socks. Does she have my clothes? A woman has the nerve to be wearing my clothing?

Sheldon's eyes widened and he felt his heart race at the notion, suddenly feeling warmth in his stomach that was unfamiliar. He banished his thoughts.

Why dancing? It potentially is exercise. Perhaps the primality it contains—pheromones, perspiration, respiration—is what creates this image of venereal, pre-coitus activities. Dare I say erotic?

Sheldon became more flustered, feeling warmer by the second as a fire was lit in his stomach as images of Penny dancing sexually in her undergarments flooded his mind.

Why alone? For practice?

He groaned and dragged his hand down his face, before a strange inspiration hit him.

"Perhaps this "exercise" could have the same effect of heightened arousal on members of the opposite sex…"

Sheldon's blue eyes lit up as a strangely creepy grin found its way across his face, one eyebrow raising as he plotted.

"What an idea! I shall test this hypothesis … I will learn to dance!"

-T-B-B-T-

Raj, Howard and Leonard sat in the living room, barely holding onto their sanity as the song "Sexy Bitch" started over once again. The Indian pulled at his hair, staring at Leonard with a pleading gaze and tone.

"What is with Sheldon? It is Halo night; why is he listening to this and locked in his room?

Howard scowled, obviously irritated with the excessive repetition of the popular dance song by David Guetta.

"Yeah. As much as I appreciate the lyrics of this fine piece of art, he has been locked in his room listening to it for HOURS!"

Leonard groaned, resting his head on his propped up arms, slouching in the armchair; he was distressed and worn down from the incessant repetition.

"The hell if I know. All he said was that it was for an experiment."

She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before,
Nothing you can compare to your neighborhood hoe,
I'm tryin' ta' find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful!

The way that booty movin' I can't take no more,
Have to stop what I'm doin' so I can pull up close,
I'm tryin' ta' find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful!

Damn, girl!
Damn, you'se a sexy bitch!
A sexy bitch!

Sheldon glared at his computer screen. People were hopeless. This dancing was atrocious. YouTube is effectively useless to him.

Oh, wait … this is interesting. Perhaps this would work to support my hypothesis. I will prove my theory. I will dance.

Succor

Penny was humming to herself under her breath to a song she heard on the radio as she cleaned her apartment. Ever since Sheldon snuck into her room and cleaned it while she slept, Penny made a point to tidy up thoroughly, twice a week so he wouldn't have a conniption fit like he always did when something was out of order. Plopping down on her couch, she looked around in pride, but something was off. Perhaps it was because Sheldon didn't clean it for her. It was never as good as when he did it. Sighing, she inhaled the lovely scent of lemon cleaner and Windex. Both chemicals had become recent additions to her growing collection of Swiffer dusters, vacuums and other cleaning products. She shut her eyes and toyed with the hem of her stolen shirt.

She hadn't realized she'd taken it until she had been back in her room. She had always wondered what his fascination with the superhero t-shirts was from, and she found out when one of his shirts—one she had never seen him wear, mind you—had found its way into her laundry basket. Once in her room, she noticed it lying there and panicked, suddenly realizing how wonderful it smelled and how soft it was. He was amazing with laundry. Before she realized what she was doing, she pulled off her own shirt and pulled on his. It fit like a glove, although tight across her breasts. She reveled in the scent that she finally acknowledged as Sheldon's. She never realized he smelled so damn good; she never missed things like that.

After the day she stole his shirt, (and eventually a pair of his socks) she made a habit to go out and purchase more superhero paraphernalia. She had the whole nine yards (in clothing, of course) eventually, although she never wore them out of the apartment. Her favorite thing she owned was still technically not hers, but the t-shirt meant more than anything for some bizarre reason unknown to her.

She and Sheldon never got along. It took an amazing amount of patience to put up with him, and she knew it took a lot of his own miniscule amount of tolerance to put up with her "idiotic" self. It hurt more than she let on, sometimes, when he insulted her. But being the good Midwestern farm girl she was, she forced a smile and fought back, even though she felt her heart break. She never really gave her heart pains much thought until her boys came back from the arctic. When she found out what the three of them had done to a (strangely bearded) Sheldon, her heart went out to them as she stewed in a silent fury. She didn't realize she was interested in her neurotic friend until she fell in the shower. After that incident, she began to find a way to show interest in what her nerdy friends did for a living, and figure out how end things cleanly with Leonard. It wasn't that he wasn't cute, or adoring, but their chemistry wasn't sparking quite like she'd hoped it would. Every time Sheldon gave her his angry stare, she felt like her heart would fly out of her chest; she had no idea he could have that much of an effect on her when Leonard's affections only made her smile. It was a strange and drastic difference, and when she broke it off with him, he only made her pissed. It was obvious at that point things wouldn't work out; Leonard dropped down her ranking.

Sheldon was kind of always her favorite. He didn't dote on her like the other boys did; dismissing her and treating her as "one of the guys". He challenged her. He forced her to learn, despite her obliviousness to actually picking things up from her boys' conversations. In his own way, Sheldon was educating Penny. And she appreciated it more than anything. She smiled to herself as she thought of the tall, delicious smelling, lanky genius whom she adored so dearly. Her thoughts of the physicist were ceased as the three rapid knocks she had grown so familiar with rapped against her door.

"Penny."

She panicked a bit, running into her bedroom to grab a sweatshirt to hide the t-shirt as the second succession echoed in the apartment.

"Penny."

Sliding to a stop before the door, her hand hovered over the knob as he finished his knocking. Halfway through her name, she opened the door, a genuine grin on her face.

"Sheldon, sweetie. What's up?"

He looked a bit uncomfortable for some reason and she dismissed it, staring into his blue eyes warmly.

"It pains me to be reduced to asking someone like you for help, but alas it must occur. Penny, I need assistance with my current experiment."

She glared at him, "Tell me what the experiment is before I agree to help."

He scowled, his eye twitching slightly. She resisted the urge to smile at him.

"I am attempting to prove that the same activity can result in the same response when performed by both male and females of the same species."

She rolled her eyes at the man before her, gesturing for him to come inside. He followed her to her seat on the couch and he took the green chair to the left of it.

"So, why did you come to me rather than to Leonard? Or Howard? Or even Raj?"

He sighed in his Sheldon-y way. "Well, obviously none of them are of the opposite sex, nor are any of them adept in social function. As well, I am aware that you commonly go out with quote unquote your girls to do what you call "dancing". I am my own test subject in this experiment and thus I must learn to do as such."

Penny stared, trying to translate his words. It took her a few moments and she could tell by the changing look on his face that he was getting antsy.

"So," she furrowed her eyebrows in thought, "you're asking me for help" she paused, "to learn to dance?"

He nodded impassively, "Precisely."

"O-kay …" Penny was surprised and a bit dumbfounded that the I-don't-dance Sheldon suddenly had the desire to learn. She was also a bit flattered because he considered her someone whom he could ask questions about social behavior. It was nice … in that strange Sheldon way of his.

"So you will help?"

She nodded, smiling, "Yes, I will. Now tell me, what kind of dancing do you need to learn?"

She watched curiously as the usually unemotional man's face slowly flooded with color. He cleared his throat, averting his eyes to his hands in his lap.

"I must master modern dance. Those performed at clubs, for example. Perhaps the tango, seeing as it is widely considered the most … intimate of all dances."

Penny coughed; her eyes wide as saucers. He wanted to learn to bump and grind? Pop-and-lock? Hip-Hop style? Holy crap on a cracker!

"Um, Sheldon, are you certain of this?"

He nodded, "Absolutely."

"It's not easy and it takes a lot of practice … meaning a lot of time out of your schedule." Penny frowned; what was she getting out of this, when suddenly it hit her. She silenced Sheldon, who was about to speak, with a finger in the air.

"Tell you what, if I'm going to help you, you're going to help me."

He glowered, "Oh, what now?"

Junior rodeo and a pointed finger were sent in his direction and he visibly shrunk from her insinuated wrath.

"Shush, you! Here's the deal, feel free to make a contract if you wish; if I am to help you with this, you are going to help me practice my lines for my audition next week."

Sheldon stared at her before averting his gaze to elsewhere in the room, and she could tell the gears in his robotic head were spinning, calculating pros and cons. He blinked and his eyes locked to hers, "Deal. I shall write the contract."

He stood and walked to the door and Penny got up to follow him. He exited the apartment and turned around outside her door.

"I'll be back later with the contract for you to sign."

She grinned, "Alright, Moonpie. Bye!"

The door shut in his infuriated face and Penny giggled to herself as she heard him shout at her.

"Don't call me Moonpie!"

Primary Edification

Sheldon knocked in his typical three-pound pattern and after the third series of knocks, the door swung open for him. Staring down from his height of 6' at the smaller blonde in the doorway, he handed Penny the thick stack of paper that was the contract, fully expecting her to sign it and allow him to retreat back to his room.

"Here is the contract. On the front page I'll need you to sign here indicating your compliance with the terms of our agreement and initial here, here, and here."

He was thrown for a bit of a loop when the blonde chuckled at him.

"Come on in and we can get started now!" she grinned cheerfully and stepped into her apartment, sauntering over to the kitchen area. Her nonchalance was a bit aggravating and Sheldon felt his eye twitch. He'd expected to be able to return to his apartment and ready his notebook for the later observations of the experiment. Grudgingly, he followed behind her and nearly froze mid-step at the scent of PineSol and Clorox. He was immediately pleased that Penny had taken the initiative to clean her apartment at a prior date, it seemed she had finally understood his insistence upon tidiness and order. He was surprised he didn't notice it before, actually. Perhaps he had just been overwhelmed by Penny's naturally clean smell—he stopped that particular thought in its tracks by shaking his head. He turned his attention back to the blonde who was bent over in her seat on the old couch, signing the contract on the coffee table. Sheldon took his seat beside her, resting his anxious hands on his knees.

"Okay, Sheldon! All signed. Before we start this, I figure I may as well ask you a few questions about what you already know."

Sheldon frowned at her, "Penny, I've told you before. I'm a physicist. I have a working knowledge of the entire—"

"—universe, and everything it contains yes, yes, I know. Now shush and just answer my damn questions."

She glared and Sheldon felt his heart skip a beat. He would never admit it, but he enjoyed his verbal spars with the blonde he called "idiotic". She had remarkably been a quick learner and picked up much of what he said; he noticed but doubted she did.

"Very well, if you must." He huffed.

Penny sat back in her seat, raising an eyebrow at him, "Speaking of the knowledge of everything, did you ever figure out who Radiohead was?"

Sheldon glared at the infuriating woman. Of course he had researched who Radiohead was! He wouldn't just let her win so easily.

"Radiohead is an English alternative rock band formed in 1985 from Abingdon, Oxfordshire. Members include ThomYorke, Johnny Greenwood, Ed O'Brien, Colin Greenwood and Phil Selway. They have released seven records from 1993 to 2007."

Penny grinned widely, showcasing her brilliant, straight teeth, and Sheldon allowed the smug feeling of pride to wash over him, pleased with his knowledgeable display.

"It's good that you looked them up. Anyway, since I already know you can waltz, rumba, and cha-cha, I would like to know what your music preferences are."

Sheldon blinked, "Why is this imperative for the experiment?"

She shot a look at him that induced a hasty swallow in nervousness, immediately wracking his brain for specifics. He did listen to a lot of music, but it was very selective.

"I like Thomas Dolby's She Blinded Me with Science."

Penny snorted, seeming amused with his admission, "Of course you do, sweetie."

He glared and she held her hands up to let him continue, "I also enjoy the instrumental works of The Smashing Pumpkins and Nine Inch Nails. Classical is my genre of choice … I enjoy Thomas Newman, Yann Tiersen, Ewigheim, Beethoven, Chopin …"

Sheldon paused, racking his brain for more music. He was certain Penny would not know many—if not all—of the composers he preferred, as most were classical in nature.

"…Wim Mertens, Ludovico Einaudi, Yanni, Michael Nyman, Giorgio Costantini—"

She cut him off with a perplexed look. She almost seemed … ashamed, if he was reading her emotions correctly, "Sheldon, I don't know any of those guys."

He sighed, "Of course you don't. All of those composers create elegant pieces for the piano or orchestras. Your unremarkable tastes wouldn't allow you to consider them."

Penny looked hurt for a brief passing moment and Sheldon wondered if his eyes somehow deceived him (inwardly he knew he was being ridiculous) because she rolled her eyes and glared back at him.

"Is there anything I would know?"

Sheldon didn't hesitate, "'Pyramid Song' by Radiohead, 'Moon Trills' by Johnny Greenwood, and 'Sexy Bitch'," the last two words didn't roll off his tongue well and he felt rather uncomfortable saying them.

Penny snorted and he turned his downcast gaze to her, glaring, somewhat confused at her mirth.

"What could quite possibly be so hilarious?"

She continued to giggle hysterically—biting her knuckles to smother some of it—refusing to regard him and withholding a decent reply to his valid question.

"Penny! What did I say that is so amusing to you?"

She grinned, her face flushed from laughter. Sheldon mentally took note of this and the reaction of his own heart palpitating faster. Fascinating …

"You like two Radiohead songs and one random dance song! And your face when you said 'Sexy Bitch'—oh god, was that hysterical!"

He frowned.

"Oh, sweetie! I'm sorry for laughing! I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"Quite the contrary, I feel fine, albeit frustrated with your inane deciphering of my personal music choices."

She smiled at him and he noticed his aggravation seemed to vanish, to his astonishment. Her bright eyes stared right back into his own and he began to fidget, uncomfortable with the deep gaze. He felt his body temperature shoot up (he was starting to get annoyed with his body, he wasn't ill!) and swallowed the sudden lump in his throat until she glanced up at the ceiling, tapping her chin with her finger.

"It's kind of funny, really. I was listening to Sexy Bitch yesterday morning before my shift at the Cheesecake Factory."

Penny looked back at him and Sheldon felt his face heat up, cursing his body's sudden enjoyment of erythema, "I know that."

She stared, wide eyed, before glaring so sharply Sheldon thought her gaze would reduce him to ashes before he remembered that was impossible, unless she suddenly became Scott Summers.

"How the hell do you know that?"

Sheldon forced his best glare right back at her, frustrated with the blonde and his body's refusal to remain in homeostasis around her.

"Well, if you must know, I came over and knocked on your door multiple times to tell you that your music was far above any acceptable decibel levels! Are you aware that the smallest and most fragile bones in your body are in your ears? The incus, malleus, and stamus are small enough to fit on a penny! The sound waves from your loud music not only could cause you to become deaf, it could shatter them in an insta—"

Penny silenced him with a vicious glare and a pointed finger. He cursed himself inwardly, hating that he was afraid of her implied wrath. "Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned," he quoted mentally.

"Sheldon, honey, shut up."

He obeyed. Penny stood from her seat, motioning for him to do the same. She hit a button on her remote and the opening of a song he was quite familiar with began. His traitorous body's temperature shot up, the feeling making him both annoyed and relaxed simultaneously.

"We're gonna' give this a shot. Show me what you can do."

Sheldon stared with wide eyes. Was she serious? He had not comprehended many of the routines he found on the internet; mainly YouTube.

She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at him, a grin on her lips, "Come on. I'm waiting."

Sheldon swallowed, shutting his eyes and found the base beat. He allowed his body to sway slightly, slowly finding a smooth rhythm. His body moved and slowly adjusted, languidly following the secondary beat with his limbs. His neck followed an S motion, making his head move slightly side to side as he tried to remember the steps this one man made on YouTube. His knees bent and his body began to follow the same S motion his neck made, causing his upper body to undulate in a slight wave from his waist to his neck. He repeated the action to the left, opposite to the first movement, and swung his hips around to the right. His arms began to move of their own accord, still held close to his swaying body, following the secondary beats and lyrics.

His eyes snapped open halfway through the song as his motions ceased, leaving him in a slight imbalance as sudden embarrassment worked its way into his brain. He looked over to his "teacher," but Penny was smiling, her face a bit flushed. He immediately worried that she had caught a fever.

"Well, you certainly weren't as terrible as I thought. And you've never danced like this before?"

Sheldon shook his head, "I've told you already, I've only ever danced to the waltz, rumba, and cha-cha."

He didn't say any more, his pride too injured and feeling far too humiliated to respond verbally.

"Alright. Come here and I'll help you."

Sheldon obeyed, taking a few steps toward Penny, hesitating when she stood in front of him.

"Okay. You wanted to learn club dancing, right? From what you just did, you could hold your own going solo, but probably not with a partner."

Sheldon was about to protest; why would he ever need a partner–but Penny silenced him with a look.

"Don't you start, Sheldon Lee Cooper. You asked for my help, and you're getting all of it. The basic is called grinding. I stand in front of you like this," she turned so her back was facing him, "and I move while you support me."

Sheldon was confused, "How is this dancing if I only support your weight?"

She sighed, stepping back away from him. A surge of relief seemed to flood through his body and he made a mental note of it, curious as to its reason.

"No. You support me, but you move with me. Here, let me show you…"

Sheldon stiffened as she pressed her arched spine against his chest, her posterior against his pubic symphisis. His heart rate increased substantially and he made another note.

"Alright, you place your hands on my hips and move with me."

She took his hands that were cemented at his sides and settled them just under her iliac crests. Sheldon had to fight the strange urge to run his thumbs over the bone that slightly protruded. He eHwas shocked as her body suddenly gyrated to the music, perfectly in sync with the base beat. Her arms and hips swiveled and moved gracefully, almost what he could colloquially call sensually, her posterior brushing against his ventral. The friction was alarming and he had to remember to breathe, which was alarming enough that he took another mental note. His attention returned to Penny, his body rigid—he had never let someone be so close …

"Sheldon, move with me …"

He loosened slightly against his will at her gentle words and found himself rocking back and forth with her body, holding her weight easily with his thorax, hands on her hips. He found himself entranced by the motions they made; it was harmonious, symbiotic, and beautiful—he drew a parallel to Euler's Formula.

His conception of time was forgotten as his body moved against his neighbor's lithe form. He barely noticed that the songs had changed, each one giving a different rhythm and melody. His body easily shifted his motions as she whispered words of encouragement. Sheldon lost himself to the simplicity of the blueprints he had formulated in his attempt to understand the art of dance. Once mastered, he disregarded everything he'd ever known, relishing the perfection of non-thought. He discovered the open, instinctual, primal side of himself and let loose. It was fascinating …

-T–B–B–T-

Penny was surprised—to say the least—at Sheldon's skill. Dancing with him was different than it'd been with anyone else. For her, it seemed more intimate, in a strangely twisted way … she was attracted to him, but how deeply did it really run? The thought scared her. At first, every movement he made seemed highly calculated; as though he was creating formulas in his head. However, after the fifth song, she noticed a radical change in his performance; he became less calculated and more, well, primal. She wasn't sure if she could look at him or not, almost afraid of what she'd see in his eyes. His grip on her increased substantially, but it didn't hurt; it was almost comforting. His large hands were soft against her hips, and his long fingers curled around towards her stomach, gently grasping. It was strange, she'd never found a man's hands so erotic before. With Sheldon, everything was backwards. She pushed herself closer to him, going to ask if he was okay or if he wanted to call it a day and to her surprise, he buried his face in her hair, adjusting to support her without a reminder. Penny felt her body react immediately, heat flooding through her veins like liquid fire. He body wanted more of him, desired to bury her head in his chest, kiss him senseless, ravish him like no one had ever—her heart nearly stopped at the thoughts rushing through her head and she knew instantly this had to stop. Her finger somehow found the off button on her remote and the music ceased.

She watched as Sheldon snapped out of his daze and all but leaped away from her. It brought on a sudden pain in her chest, especially since she was already conflicted with emotions from his strange behavior. She looked away.

"Sheldon, I think that's enough for today. You did good enough for today."

He nodded, his eyes remaining trained on her, focused so intensely. She could feel his gaze like it was the hot California sun and it didn't help to quell the heat pooling in her belly. What is he doing to me..?

"Very well. When shall I return for another lesson?"

She paused, checking her mental calendar, "Um, two days or so. I have long shifts at the Cheesecake Factory, so I'll be really beat. Next time we're gonna' work on my audition, alright?"

He let out a loud sigh that was almost too dramatic and she looked up to see him retrieve the contract from the coffee table. She bit her lip as she watched his slender fingers wrap around the edge of the paper, remembering their feel against her skin. She shivered.

Sheldon's attention was immediately on her, "Has your temperature dropped? It is well known that dancing increases one's tem—"

"I'm fine, Sheldon. Bye."

Sheldon stared, irritation evident in his eyes at her interruption before leaving the apartment without a word. She was almost one hundred percent certain she heard him whisper before the lock clicked:

"Thank you, Penny."

Her face flushed and she ran to go take a cold shower.

Incipient Enactment

Penny sighed to herself, rubbing a towel vigorously over her head to dry her blonde locks. She stared into the mirror, half expecting her reflection to move of its own accord. It didn't. What was wrong with her? Her mind hadn't turned off the night before; her dreams were filled of moments she had with Sheldon over the past three years. She began to notice things about their private encounters in these dreams, unsure of whether her consciousness was altering her recollection or if she had just missed his kindness entirely.

He kept a secret when he's terrible at it. He cracked jokes. He laughed. He smiled; well, it was more like smirked but at least it wasn't of the Kill-Batman variety—at her and went along with her idiotic ploys. It was endearing; why hadn't she noticed before? Penny sighed, leaning against her sink. She had only started being aware of him after he returned from Alaska; when she saw his pain at being on the receiving end of a cruel lie, smelled his distinct, clean scent that lingered on his t-shirt and finally when she felt him move against her in perfection. Penny watched as her face flooded with color.

She moved to sit on the porcelain toilet and held her head in her hands. How did this happen? Why did he affect her this way? It went against nature; he was a genius—theoretical—physicist; she was an unsuccessful aspiring actress. She groaned, hating her lack of success. She didn't hate working at the Cheesecake Factory, but she wished she could have found some sort of accomplishment. Auditions came up all the time and despite being well prepared, she got more phone numbers than call backs.

Her head snapped toward the door as the customary triple knock sounded against her door. Penny panicked, still only in a towel. She quickly pulled on her Batman tank top—thank God it had a support bra—and matching flannel pajama bottoms before running to answer the door on the third set of knocks. Sheldon stared down at her; his left eye looking like it was seconds away from twitching. As quickly as she saw it, the tic vanished and was replaced by a surprised appreciation. She watched his eyes roam down her body and raised an eyebrow in an attempt to suppress the tingles that flooded her system from his attention.

Sheldon slid by her as though he was gliding and Penny found herself watching his every move. It was graceful and strange. She'd never noticed the way he moved before. It was as though he was hyperaware of everything around him. She felt that if he perhaps closed his eyes, he would be able to navigate cleanly to his space in the green chair. It gave her shivers.

"O-kay …" Damnit, why Batman? Why didn't I just pick the Victoria's Secret Pink sweatpants?

Surprisingly, Sheldon said nothing of her strange attire and turned his eyes to her.

"I am here to withhold your end of the deal. Acting assistance."

She felt her mouth make an 'O' shape, "Okay! Right!"

Running into her bedroom, she retrieved two sets of paper; one her selected monologue and the other the papers given to her to learn by her friend Tara—also her manager.

"Okay, so I have a monologue to recite and I'm not sure if I'm convincing enough. Can you help me with that?"

He seemed to ponder the question before staring at her with that fixating gaze of his.

"I have seen plenty of movies, and therefore I do believe that I can make well qualified assumptions upon which acting is correct."

She smiled, "Great!"

"I shall await your beginning; but first, as Shakespeare once wrote in Hamlet, acting comes not from the drama proposed by the actors, but from life experience and if never overplayed, can be incredibly powerful."

"Thank you, Sheldon." Penny took a deep breath, glancing down at her paper, knowing he'd have plenty of input on this particular monologue, and began.

"Dear Bruce… I need to be honest and clear." Penny paused, glancing at her shoes and dropping the paper by her side. She shut her eyes briefly, feeling the pain of being torn between the two men in the character's life.

"I'm going to marry Harvey De—"

"I must initiate this critique with a few suggestions."

Penny sighed as he stood from his spot, circling her as though he was a shark and she a bleeding animal. It made her uncomfortable. He reached down and grabbed her written monologue, folding it up and pocketing it.

"Hey! I need that!"

"This paper is unnecessary. I shall discard it for you. Obviously you have memorized Rachel Dawes' letter, and it is seen as a crutch."

She paused with her mouth open, ready to yell at him, but his hidden compliment made her close it. She nodded to him and he sat. Again, she took a deep breath and slowly felt her acting skills rising within her. She kept in mind Sheldon's advice and when she spoke, confidence and rich emotion poured from every word.

"Dear Bruce… I need to be honest and clear. I'm going to marry Harvey Dent. I love him, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. When I told you that if Gotham no longer needed Batman we could be together, I meant it. But now I'm sure that the day won't come when you no longer need Batman."

"Penny, I detected no potential tribulation in the actions performed, which were minimal at most."

She stared at him, "Come again?"

"You are too dull."

She sighed, running a hand down her face, "Well, Dr. Cooper, what do you suggest I do?"

His words surprised her more than anything she'd ever heard him say.

"You must put the emotions—although useless, they provide a more convincing performance—in the oculi and motion."

"Wait, what's an 'oculus'?"

Sheldon paused, staring her down and she suddenly felt very small.

"An 'oculus' is an eye, 'oculi' is plural."

"Oh." The tall genius rolled his 'oculi' and Penny glared, "Get on with it."

He cleared his throat, "Your bearing was less than desirable. No reflection to the words you spoke. The semblance of melancholy emotion stayed only in your … eyes," he accented the word and she glared again, "rather than throughout your entire body."

"Oh. Alright, I get what you're saying."

Sheldon nodded, returning to his spot and motioned for her to start over.

She closed her eyes briefly, feeling her emotions responding without trying; frustration and sadness, and summoned up as much as she could before locking her eyes on Sheldon's folding her hands in front of her.

"Dear Bruce… I need to be honest and clear."

Penny paused, taking in a breath and turning away from Sheldon as though she was creating a barrier.

"I'm going to marry Harvey Dent."

She allowed her head to hang and crossed her arms over her chest before turning back to face him, her eyes finding his again.

"I love him, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him."

Penny paused again, biting her bottom lip slightly before letting it go and adjusting her mood to something more focused and confident. She motioned towards Sheldon as she spoke, allowing her emotions to move her body as she stepped towards him.

"When I told you that if Gotham no longer needed Batman we could be together, I meant it." She placed a hand to her chest, "But now I'm sure that the day won't come when you no longer need Batman."

She allowed her arms to fall and looked down again.

"I hope it does."

Looking up again, Penny felt herself gain purpose as she tapped into her determination to please Sheldon with her performance, allowing it to guide her. She spoke with her hands slightly.

"And, if it does, then I will be there, but as your friend. I'm sorry to let you down. If you lose your faith in me, please, keep your faith in people."

She smiled in a sad way and allowed her hands to clasp in front of her. Penny felt her eyes become kind and gentle as she looked at the man across from her with affection.

"Love now and always, Rachel," Penny finished by looking down toward her feet. After a long period of silence, she was sure he would have something negative to say any moment, but when she heard applause instead of an insult, she looked up to the sight of Sheldon clapping with a proud expression.

"Well done, Penny." He stopped and stood, circling her again. It made her heart race. He had complimented her. She smiled widely.

"You learn incredibly quickly. It is … surprising, to say the least, that you accept my critique with such … placidity."

"Well, after a million auditions and no success, I have to learn some sort of façade to hide behind. For all you know, every word you spoke could have shattered me, but you would never know."

"Hm."

Penny turned away, pulling out the other piece of paper.

"Now I need you to help me recite a conversation from the movie. I am required to do it with another actor if I get a callback."

Sheldon frowned but accepted the other copy without complaint.

"The characters are John and … Ion? Shit, how do you pronounce that?"

"You were correct. Aiòn is pronounce 'ey-on'."

Penny blushed, embarrassed. "Oh. Thanks. Anyway, the two of them are talking over drinks. You begin, I believe."

"Oh, very well."

Penny smirked as the lanky man leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, doubtful that he had any sort of acting experience at all. She pressed play on the tape recorder she had stashed in the couch.

Sheldon looked at her with alarming brilliance in his eyes as his whole demeanor changed, "How long have we known each other, Aiòn?"

Penny stuttered, thankful that it would have been acceptable with her lines.

"I don't know... Three, four hours?"

Sheldon sighed, grinning happily, "I feel I've known you all my life."

Penny laughed; forcing her surprise at Sheldon's hidden acting skills down and away, "Isn't that funny? I was just thinking the same thing."

"There are some people you know all your life and—"

Penny cut him off perfectly, "—you never really know them."

Sheldon smiled gently and the strange genuineness of it surprised her again. She managed to smile back.

"Exactly."

Penny bit her lip, allowing her acting skills to take the reigns. "My first husband was like that."

Sheldon managed to sigh, "I knew it."

"Knew what?"

He looked at her incredulously, but at the same time sadly. It was incredible.

"That you'd been married before."

Penny felt her eyebrows rise, "You did? How?"

Sheldon smiled smugly, playing the part to a T.

"I just knew."

Penny pointed a finger at him, "John, why did you come here?"

Sheldon shook his head, looking down at his hands, "I can't tell you yet."

Penny sighed, "I knew it the first time I saw you."

"What?"

"That you were a secret-keeper, John."

Sheldon sighed, managing to sound sadly sarcastic, "Talk about simpatico."

Penny tilted her head to the side, "Are you quiet all the time like this?"

He nodded his head, sighing, "Silent as a tomb."

"My ex was the same way."
"Is that why the engagement failed?"

Penny smiled at him, partly at his skill and partly because she needed to.

"Yes, but to be honest, I wasn't a very open person myself."

Sheldon looked appalled, "I never would have guessed." He paused and looked thoughtfully happy, "I have come to learn that only through complete and open communication can two people have any hope for a deep and lasting relationship."

Penny raised her hands like scales, tilting them back and forth, "As long as that communication isn't one sided."
Sheldon nodded, smiling widely at her, "I was lucky to have landed with you, Aiòn, if you don't mind my saying so."

Penny felt her heart race and had to force herself to remember he was only acting.

"Not at all."

Sheldon paused magnificently, staring at her with a strange gaze that made her squirm, "I don't mean to sound presumptuous, but I you and have—"

"A real future together?"

Sheldon smiled, "You took the words right out of my mouth."

Penny smiled and waved her hand at him, "You're an open book, John."

"Coming from someone as forthright as you, that's a real compliment," Sheldon grinned, but it wavered slightly, "Actually, I've been thinking it—"

"Since you saw me?"

Sheldon blinked, shaking his head in surprise, "My God, are we on the same wave length or what?"

Penny shrugged, "It's nothing magical really. We're just two open people who refuse to beat around the bush."

Sheldon's expression as he spoke made her heart skip a beat.

"I could kiss you."

Penny smiled coyly, "Why don't you?"

"Exactly... Why don't I?"

The final words of the script were stage directions and reading them made her heart race so hard she thought she was going to pass out. They kiss.

"Penny? Are you quite alright? You are warm! A fever perhaps!"

Penny panicked at the sensation of his cool hand against her feverish skin.

"No, no! I'm fine. Don't worry. I'm not sick. Don't break out the Lysol yet."

Sheldon looked at her warily from across the room, but remained where he was.

"Why—why don't we stop here, Sheldon? I feel more confident already of myself and I—I think it's enough for one day."

What she thought was a disappointed look flashed across Sheldon's face so fast she almost believed she'd imagined it.

"Very well. I shall vacate your apartment. Do not forget Halo night; I expect to see you there tomorrow."

She smirked, "Yeah, to kick your ass!"

He didn't glare back, instead opting for a gentle look and the hint of a smile.

"You did very well for someone who has never gotten an acting job, Penny. I can see no reason why you will not get your part, unless the casting director is a complete ignoramus. I wish you good luck at your audition tomorrow."

She stared at his retreating back as he walked across the hall, feeling her face flood with color, yet again. He looked over his shoulder before he opened the door to his apartment and Penny called out to him.

"Goodnight, Moonpie!"

She shut the door and heard him quietly grumble, "Don't call me Moonpie!"

It made her smile as she went to get something to eat.

Subsequent Elucidation

"Penny, you just went through a stop sign. It is against California state law—"

"Sheldon," she ground out, "if you say one more goddamn word, I'm going to punch you so hard in the face that your teeth will come out your ass."

"Physiologically impossible."

"Well, I'll make it possible, so do yourself a favor, sweetie, and SHUT. UP."

Sheldon opened his mouth but slowly closed it at the vicious look she shot him. He was appalled by the inaccuracies of her threat. The preposterous nature of such an occurrence made her argument invalid and thusly he wanted to explain to her why it was so. But with that look—he swallowed a sudden lump in his throat and batted away the errant thought that she was quite striking when enraged—he figured it would be beneficial to his mental and physical health should he remain silent.

He watched her from the corner of his eyes as she glared out at the road, noticing with slight amusement that she huffed and blew some hair from her face. Sheldon was pulled from his observations by a need to grip at his seatbelt for dear life as she careened around a corner far too sharply.

"Good lord, Penny! This is not NASCAR! Oh dear, your 'Check Engine' light is still blinking! Have you not seen a mechanic to address that issue already?"

"Yeah? So what!" she growled, baring her teeth in a mock snarl that sent a tremor of terror up his spinal column. Sheldon recoiled, composing himself quickly before huffing and staring out the window.

"I still do not see the point. Why must I travel with you in this deathtrap simply to visit a dance studio?"

"If you want to learn, you better shut the hell up and let me help you. My apartment is too damn small to be dancing in. Deal with it."

She shot him a Junior Rodeo glare and he nearly squeaked in fright. While he enjoyed their verbal spars, there was a limit to how enraged he could make her. This time he had gone too far and was paying the consequence in full Penny-rage.

Sheldon stared out the window, attempting to quell his nerves. He didn't know this area of Pasadena; perhaps they had left? He couldn't recall—he'd been too busy arguing with Penny, an activity he found himself cherishing even more than he used to. Over time, Sheldon had found himself on friendlier terms with Penny; it had actually started on the day when she shared her secret about Community College, and then again with her money issues. That cash had really been burning a hole in his pocket. He was glad she was able to put it to use. The memory caused his lips to twitch up into a half smile.

The woman was changing him in strange ways. He found himself becoming a little more lenient with routine—he had to be to accommodate for his lessons and for Penny, something he found he didn't mind. His neighbor was becoming very dear to him, becoming more trusting and friendly than even Leonard, his best friend. It startled him how close they had actually become. He snuck a glance over at her and let out a silent sigh of relief at her calmer face. He felt himself smile.

He wondered how her audition had gone. Obviously, she had done well enough that she was put on "the list", as she called it. It meant she could potentially be called back. He remembered when she told him with a half smile that she did the best she could. He reminded her that he was very interested in the outcome and she had nodded before telling him she'd see him at Halo night. She indeed showed up, but her playing was sub par. It was disappointing, and she had also dismissed herself early.

He wondered why she had been upset; wasn't "the list" a good thing? It was obviously better than being turned away immediately. He lay his hands in his lap and let out a breath. He shut his eyes and when he opened them after lurching around a corner and up a bump, they snapped open and he found himself staring at the "Pizzazz Dance Studio". His face dropped. She was really doing this to him! It was one thing dancing in front of her, but other people? Whom he did not know? Good lord! Was she trying to give him a pulmonary embolism!

"Alright, Sheldon. Let's go. Abigail would love to meet you, I'm sure."

She stepped out of the car and he reluctantly followed. When he entered the studio, his nose was assaulted by the smell of salt and Lysol. It was strange and his nose wrinkled of its' own accord.

"Penny! You're back! And who is this lovely man?" a shorter woman with flaming red hair and pale skin rushed at them. She appeared to be in her early forties and in decent shape. Sheldon stared at her.

"Abby! How have you been?" Sheldon watched the two women embrace and the short woman, Abby, pulled Penny away, leaving him to his own devices.

The studio was large. Music pounded away in multiple corners, meshing slightly although not unpleasantly. Sheldon glanced over at a tanned man in the corner doing what he had heard was called "break-dancing". He wondered if Penny could "break-dance". Silently, he made his way to the corner and watched. The song thudded loudly in his ears and he watched the way the man used parts of his body and balance to support his body when placed in precarious positions. This was nothing but basic physics! When the man realized he was standing there, he flipped up and stood before him.

"Hey, man! Didn't see ya' there. I'm Daniel. You interested in break-dance?"

Sheldon nodded, "I do desire to dance like you, yes. I must ask, what are the thought processes and steps you take while in the process?"

Daniel stared at him incredulously and Sheldon shot him a look. Daniel laughed, showing white teeth.

"Alright, dude. I can definitely do that."

Sheldon watched and listened as Daniel performed what he dubbed "basic moves"; these included "the worm", "the robot", "pop-and-lock", "top rock", and "the moonwalk". Sheldon's "beautiful mind" took the values of physics (gravity, centripetal force, power and motion) each time Daniel explained the steps and processes as well as precautions, and applied them to the steps, creating basic formulas that imprinted into his brain. He quickly began to understand break-dancing was essentially about momentum and power. After Daniel finished explaining "the moonwalk", Sheldon grew anxious.

"Daniel, do you think that I may attempt to participate in break-dancing? I am certain my formulas are perfect."

"Dude, you just watched me only once for each move. I doubt it, but sure, man. Go for it. You won't learn any other way."

Sheldon nodded, dropping his messenger bag on the ground. He listened to the song Daniel put on and found the base beat. From there he highlighted the "top rock" formula in his head and put it into practice. His feet went one in front of the other and he began to move to the rhythm. Before he knew it, he was top-rocking exceptionally well. His mind switched to "the worm" principle and he dropped suddenly to the ground, using his sudden momentum to propel his feet into the air. He felt the energy flow through his body and propel him forwards. It didn't last long and he created a quick formula on the spot and flipped backwards according to the laws of physics. Sheldon immediately focused in on "the robot" and his body slowed, moving brokenly to the beat. He transitioned to a stunning display of pop and lock, his arms and legs snapping to the beats while incorporating the moonwalk simultaneously. The song ended with a stunning flip from his quick formula and a slow regression with the robot. Sheldon brushed his cargo pants off and looked around at the stunned, silent faces in the studio. He scoffed.

"What? I'm a physicist."

It didn't seem to matter and the entire room erupted into applause as Daniel began to rant something into his ear. He found himself uncaring to the praise as his eyes focused on Penny's gaping, flushed face and admiration in her eyes. Pride filled him.

"Daniel, what else is there you can teach me?"

-T-B-B-T-

"Penny, you've been holding out on me! Who is that spectacular dancer?"

She was too stunned to say a word, "I—I don't know. That's not the Sheldon I knew …"

"Well, he's incredible. Are you two together?"

Penny flushed and stared at Abby with a flustered glare, "Abby, we're not in a relationship … just under a contract." Her words faltered and Abby grinned knowingly.

"You like him, don't you?"

Penny held her finger to her lips, "Shh! He had Vulcan hearing!"

"Huh?"

She groaned, "Never mind. I'll explain."

Abby led her to the table by her office, sitting down opposite to her.

"So, tell me about this Sheldon."

Penny sighed, "He's my neighbor and it wasn't until recently I realized I liked him. You see, we were always arguing and fighting with each other over the stupidest things. I couldn't stand his OCD, anal-retentiveness and his arrogant attitude."

"He said he's a physicist?"

"With an IQ that quote unquote can't be measured by regular tests."

Abby laughed, "I like him already. Tell me about this deal of yours."

"Well," Penny paused, unsure of how to explain this conundrum. Shit, I'm even thinking like him!

"Well," she repeated, "he came to me one day and asked if I could teach him how to dance. I was surprised because he never expressed interest before. Of course I decided to help him, but his side of the bargain was to help me practice for the biggest audition of my life."

"Oh, what was it for?"

She smiled, "It's a surprise for him; a Sci-Fi movie called Flux."

"Oh jeez, Penny. You really are into him to decide to try a Sci-Fi. Those usually crash and burn."

"It was a good opportunity. Nonetheless, he agreed and he really prepared me for my audition. Abby, I have his acting on tape. It's flawless."

"Really? Can I hear it?"

Penny nodded; she had expected her mentor to ask to hear, and pulled the tape out of her bag and pressed play. Abby's eyes widened at his voice performing the lines.

"Good God, the boy has talent! Why the hell did he go into physics?"

Penny smirked, "Theoretical physics, and it was because he's so damn smart."

"Good catch, dear. Good catch indeed."

She blushed, glaring playfully at Abby.

"Anyhow, I hope you get your role, honey. Lord knows you deserve it."

"I know. It's just—I'm really nervous, you know? I'm in line for a call back, I mean, really! Holy crap on a cracker!"

Abby laughed and placed a hand on Penny's arm. The warmth and motherly affection flooded her instantly.

"I'm sure you'll succeed someday, if not with Flux. You're a talented girl. Never give up on your dreams."

"Penny! Penny! Penny!"

She turned around and stared at him, "What, sweetie?"

"Daniel asked me if I could dance with a partner. I am requesting you."

Penny's face flushed red and she turned to Abby, who motioned for her to go. Penny smiled and stood, walking over to Sheldon as "Everytime We Touch" began to play throughout the studio. She marched up to the tall, lanky, attractive genius she cared so much about and smirked.

"Bring it."

He smirked in that Sheldon-y way that meant he was ready for her, "It has been brought, as they say."

She laughed and before she knew it, their bodies moved once again in the indescribable rhythm that they had, sweat mingling and respiration inclining as the intimacy skyrocketed in the chaotic music that blared from the communal speakers.

Their car ride home was silent, however.

Stint Procurement

Sheldon stood in front of his whiteboard, Expo marker in hand as he stared at his algorithms and thinking away. His mind quickly passed from theorem to theorem, editing each dance methods and altering the organization. Below his progression codes, he highlighted his observations of Penny's emotional and physical responses in comparison to his own to her dances. Each dance they did together, he would add a new factor. The list kept growing—directed in a positive conclusion of this fine experiment.

Tapping the board with the marker, he sighed aloud and quickly altered a few variables to better the formula in front of him. He was lonely. Leonard was out for lunch with Stephanie and probably wouldn't be home until late, if he was home at all. Howard was with his mother visiting some relatives. Raj had a video chat with his parents and relatives—customary once a month. Yes, he was definitely lonely.

He stared at the board, hunting for a correction. To make matters worse, Penny hadn't answered her door when he knocked at 11 o'clock (per her don't-come-over-before-11-or-I'll-punch-you-in-the-throat order). She had not left any sort of clue as to her location; no phone number (her phone was off anyway so it didn't really matter), no address, no simple "I'll be back at X o'clock: nothing.

Sheldon stepped away from the board, finding himself too distracted to perfect his sloppy formulas. He ran a hand down his face, a habit he picked up from Penny, and plopped himself down in his spot. He leaned back against the soft leather and closed his eyes. He really did think too much. Never before would he have questioned it, but after discovering the silence in his overworked mind that dancing brought him, the harsh reality of his constant thought wore him down. He sighed and opened his eyes; was that how Penny felt when she danced? Perhaps he would ask her before he concluded his experiment.

Sheldon grabbed at the remote and clicked on the TV, flicking through channels until he rested upon a re-run of Doctor Who. He sighed yet again, feeling lonely all over again. Usually he had Penny beside him, warming the cold leather. Funny; normally Sheldon disliked her sitting by him, but lately it had become a bit of a comfort. It was strange.

Sheldon hadn't realized he even had fallen asleep until a loud triple knock sounded on his apartment door.

"Sheldon!"

He jolted awake, "Danger! Danger!" as another tri-knock echoed in the room.

"Sheldon!"

He stood from the couch and in four long strides stood in the doorway, looking down on his blonde neighbor.

"Hello, Penny. Might I ask what the matt—ack!"

Instead of a verbal response, Sheldon hardly had time to react as she launched herself into his chest, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. He felt himself stiffen in reaction, but her warmth immediately relaxed him and he patted her on the back.

"P-Penny?"

She was crying and he felt his heart race in apprehension. Had something terrible happened? Was that why she was gone?

"Sheldon," she gasped between tears, "I got it!"

He felt uncomfortable at her saline lachryma, "What is it that you have gotten?"

Her blubbering only increased as a smile spread wide across her face, "I got the part!"

Now he was confused. Why would she cry when she had finally obtained something she desired for an extended period of time? It made no sense to him at all; emotions were not his strong point.

"Then … why are you crying?"

She ceased her waterworks and shot him a cynical look.

"For a man with an IQ of 187, you certainly are one of the biggest idiots I know, Dr. Whackadoodle."

Sheldon gaped at Penny, aghast at her words as she invited herself in, plopping down in his spot. Before he could glare at her, she suddenly scooted over onto the middle cushion. Sheldon raised his eyebrows.

"Come here and sit so I can tell you about the movie!"

Sheldon sighed, "If you must," and seated himself in his spot.

"So, it's called Flux and it's directed by Steven Spielburg!" He nearly smiled at her enthusiasm; Spielburg was a director he respected. He returned his attention back to his blonde neighbor.

"Not much of the movie has been revealed, but it's interesting to say the least," She handed him a thick script and he flipped through it.

"It takes place in the year 2147 on the planet Neohumus in the Cere galaxy. I play the part of Aiòn Van, a Re'alon—I think—professor at the Neohumus branch of the inter-planetary university. She is goal oriented, somewhat stiff and unlucky with men."

Sheldon looked at her, "What is a Re'alon?"

Penny snatched back the script, opening it to the third page.

"The Re'alons are a long-living humanoid race, identified by pupil-less eyes and markings on their skin which glow delicately if of the female gender. Bioluminescence, I think this says. Anyway, they are typically scholars, but some go into military service."

"What does she teach?"

"Language, I believe."

Sheldon scoffed, "How perfectly boring and utterly predictable. Many Sci-Fi heroines are gentle and study language or some type of culture. This field is unoriginal but the heroine's personality is acceptable. However, she should be in some more complicated branch of science to break out of the typical Sci-Fi mold, considering this move is to be of the Science Fiction genre." He cleared his throat and looked away, "of course, this is only a personal opinion, I am certain I speak for Sci-Fi fans everywhere."

Penny looked at him with a funny look and Sheldon bit his tongue at a comment, for fear she would snap at him.

"I knew you would be good to talk to about this! I like the input; the writer is new and I'm sure he'd change things if he liked your ideas. Maybe this could become the next greatest Sci-Fi movie! I'll tell you some more."

"Very well."

Penny smiled, "Okay, so the plot line is fairly simple. A strange man with many secrets crash-lands a strange mode of transport into Aiòn's backyard, and immediately seeks refuge with her. His name is John Freeland and is of the race, um, I think Vorman was what it was called. He looks human aside from his slightly pointed ears and brilliantly light blue eyes that glow in the dark, I think. Anyway, after a period of distrust between the two, he entrusts Aiòn with information of the future; the Neohumus Great War that starts within the next few weeks, and enlists her help to stop it from happening and the disastrous consequences of the war."

Sheldon nodded; it was an interesting plotline. It didn't seem to have the typical "enemy alien" theme that many other movies of Flux's genre had. It took place on only one planet and civil war was the basis. He liked the idea; it was a new take on Science Fiction.

"Tell me no more, I would like to see the movie when it is ready to be released."

Penny bit her lip, "Well, what about the characterization of John? Is it overused, too?"

"Tell me."

"Well, he's described as confident and cocky, albeit dedicated to his task—"

"No."

"No?"

"His character is too overused. Granted it has created some wonderful roles, such as Captain Kirk and Han Solo—"

He glared at Penny as she cut him off, "Right. So what do you suggest Dr. Cooper?"

"Well. Perhaps make him more like Spock, rational and precise. But, perchance, that could be too unoriginal as well. Conceivably, he could be less of a hero and more of an anti-hero; yes, that seems to work with the plotline. He is saving his world of his own accord, not under orders. Perhaps he could have some sort of neuroses or phobias, like Henry Jones with his snakes; maybe he could also be a damaged character, mistrustful of any other being."

"That definitely would be … logical to the plotline."

Sheldon nodded, suppressing a smile.

"Thanks, Sheldon. You've helped a lot and I think that the writer will take to these suggestions very well. I'll tell him at our next cast meeting."

Sheldon stood with her and walked her to the door, "I am very happy for you, Penny."

"I'm grateful for your help, Sheldon." She leaned in and kissed his cheek and he felt his heart race and heat flood his face.

"Y-you're welcome."

She smiled and walked two steps backward from him, "I'll see you, Moonpie."

He glared, "Only Meemaw can call me Moonpie."

She giggled and unlocked her apartment, blowing a kiss in his direction before shutting the door behind her.

"Well, this is a new development."

Sheldon's eyes widened and he stared at Leonard, who was standing just below the top step of their floor.

"L-Leonard! I had presumed you would be gone for longer."

His best friend just smirked and shook his head, "Moonpie, huh?"

"Don't call me that!"

The sound of the door shutting echoed.

Onde Exodus

Sheldon stared at Penny with a blank look on his face, his eye twitching every four seconds.

"I cannot understand how it was that you convinced me to come to this accursed class."

The blonde sighed, turning towards him as she drove, "I can't teach you to swing dance by myself. You know that."

"Yes, but is a class with other participants entirely necessary?"

Penny ground her teeth and Sheldon flinched at the sound of enamel being worn down.

"Yes. The cost came into play. This was less expensive."

He sighed, looking out the window at the passing Pasadena scenery. His time with Penny had increased substantially over the past few weeks. She had taken a leave of absence from her job at the Cheesecake Factory, filling the time in her schedule with Flux cast meetings, rehearsals, dance lessons, and the typical nightly schedule. Sheldon found that he enjoyed the way she worked her schedule around his nights; it was the highest form of flattery, the dictionary would have defined it as "venerating".

The only discomfort he found in her increased presence was his own reactions to her company. He found himself lying awake at night, thinking about how he made her smile that day, how she'd managed to win an argument, or how she'd stunned him with a comic book request slash question. It was unnerving that he, homo novus, found a homo sapien to be of any sort of intimate interest. It caused him to question his entire knowledge of the universe … and that was a lot of information.

After his revelation, Sheldon had started writing down his theorems and findings in his new Green Lantern journal, seeing as Leonard came close to understanding the letters representing the test subjects; S for himself and P for Penny. He came to realize that most of his data was of personal experience and Penny's infraction of his previously dictated boundaries. It was unnerving how little he cared for the once-appalling insults and barbs.

Sheldon sighed and shut his eyes briefly, breathing in deeply the green tea and cucumber scent that wafted delicately from Penny's sun soaked skin. He listened to her easy breathing, the natural unconscious rhythm lulling him into a sense of tranquility and silence. He reflected on the conflicting things inside of him he now knew were emotions. Penny had wormed her way into his life the moment Leonard said "hello" to her. He had realized a week ago from an anonymous help chat room that he indeed harbored feelings for his actor neighbor. It had been a long argument that ended in surprise and realization.

Sheldon didn't know what to do about the butterflies, as they were called, when Penny was in close proximity. Ignoring the tingles that shot through his body when their hands touched was no longer possible. Before, he would have written it off like he had since she'd hugged him that first time as a simple static shock transferred from the friction she had created in movement. Now he found it impracticable. The once-preposterous ideas of romance and "chemistry" floated through his brain as often as the algorithms and processes that normally passed through.

He had long since altered his reasoning in having Penny's help. It no longer was a hypothesis, but a necessity. In an experiment of his own emotions, the past week he had told Penny he was unable to meet her for his salsa lessons. Sheldon swore Penny had sounded sad—her emotions were something he'd easily come to understand—and found himself regretting his decision. He spent the evening watching bad Sci-Fi movies alone in the apartment. He knew he needed her company after the traumatic experience and thereafter never attempted to disengage from an activity with her.

"Sheldon? Sweetie, you awake?"

"Yes, Penny. I am cognizant."

He turned to look at her, staring back into her green eyes and amused at her irritation with his word choice.

"O-kay. We're here, so be good and let's just get this over with."

Sheldon sighed, smirking to himself as he unbuckled his seatbelt, "Very well."

He despised lying to Penny about his interests, but it seemed the best thing to do until he understood what he could have been getting himself into. He followed Penny into the building, finding himself suddenly in the throes of a 210 bpm dance, entangled with his blonde neighbor as she smiled and laughed. He was elated to be free from thought once again and surrendered himself entirely to the rhythm that controlled his soul. He watched Penny with insightful, instinctual eyes as he led her through the progression of spins, isolations and shimmies while she simply enjoyed the movement.

Sheldon could lose himself in the dance. It both unnerved and excited him, to relinquish control and succumb to one's instincts. Penny too, had fallen victim to the demon of dance, her pupils dilating and her perspiration increasing. After a particularly beautiful spin, Sheldon found a laughing, elated Penny pressed against his chest. He looked down at her, a smile ghosting across his face. She giggled again, drunk on endorphins, and buried her face into his chest. Sheldon shot back down to earth so fast he swore he felt the ground move. Instantly, his body reacted to her close proximity and he had to shakily suggest that they take a seat to separate his self from her.

Dancing was dangerous if he let himself go too far. Carnal desires reared their ugly heads when he didn't think. Sheldon ran a hand through his short hair, the sweat spiking it up a bit before it drooped. He breathed slowly and evenly, trying to slow his racing heart and climbing pulse. When it had reached appropriate levels, Sheldon looked over to see Penny. His anxiety climbed at the realization of her sudden absence. Panic flooded through him and he stood to find her before he was hit with a wave of vertigo. He slumped back down to his seat—vertigo was a serious thing—and held his head.

"You okay, sweetie?"

He blinked, staring up at her.

"Dizzy. But yes, I am fine."

He accepted her offering of water, greedily gulping it down and his whole body was flooded with a cool relief.

"Sheldon, I don't know why, but doing this with you has only gotten more fun since day one."

He turned and looked at her. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes hooded; he chalked it up to her being fatigued and high on dopamine.

"Oh? Why do you say so? I had assumed this was more of a chore to you."

"Maybe at first, but Sheldon, you're an amazing dancer! I knew you would be good just by judging from the way you move naturally! It's amazing, really. You simply glide amongst your known surroundings and not once have I ever seen you stumble. It's simply astounding what you do! And considering how well you move naturally combined with your uncanny ability to learn, your dance skill is beyond anything I would have imagined! I mean, you learned to break dance in all of three hours and impress me even still with what you can do! I can only imagine what kind of lover you'd be!"

Sheldon choked slightly on his water, staring at her with wide eyes as she spoke. Had she any idea that he was a virgin? He had never desired to engage in sexual activities with anyone. Ever. Well, maybe until now.

"… it gives me shivers just thinking about that. You're so hyperaware and obsessive over everything! If that all was focused and coned down to only one person and one goal, god, I don't doubt you could have a woman crying your name in 30 seconds! Besides, you're not bad looking either, and that doesn't hurt anything."

Sheldon was beyond embarrassed. She didn't know what she was saying; her dopamine high was impairing her judgment, despite his desire for it to be true. His heart rate had climbed the entire time she spoke.

"Hehe, Sheldon? Are you okay?"

He nodded to her, drinking the rest of his water.

"Well, can we dance again?"

He looked at her, nervous and not particularly wanting to.

"Please?"

He sighed, giving in to her begging.

"As you wish."

The rest of the evening, the two of them swung into perfection, their rhythms creating a stir in the studio; everyone was talking about the perfect couple whose chemistry exploded like fireworks.

–T–B–B–T–

Sheldon returned home restless and his stomach filled with a strange pressure he had never felt before. Penny had been wonderful and treated the two of them to the Cheesecake Factory alone, considering they had fallen off the Tuesday schedule due to loss of time during which they danced. Sheldon found he had hardly minded, enjoying his time with Penny.

Over dinner, Penny discussed the various aspects of her movie and he simply listened eagerly, something that had initially alarmed him. She was fascinated by her character and was incredibly excited about filming. Apparently, the writer had redone most of John Freeland's disposition and was even changing the name.

"… and I'm really excited that they got Jim Parsons to play him. He does disturbed and neurotic better than anyone."

"Who?"

Penny looked appalled that he was unaware of who this Jim Parsons was and so he shut up and let her explain.

"He's an incredible man and has played a great deal of minor roles in movies. It's a wonder he hasn't gotten a major role yet."

"I see. I shall look into this man's history."

Penny smiled, "I doubt you'll like his movies. Garden State doesn't sound like your cup of tea."

"Perhaps that is so, perhaps it is not."

The entire evening was tranquil, no one messed up any orders, no food was touched, and Sheldon discovered he was having fun with his blonde neighbor. They discussed various superheroes and the new Avatar movie and the criticism it received. Sheldon found that the two of them had many similar interests and their conflicts were easily compromised, which in itself was amazing for him. Dr. Sheldon Cooper, compromising on anything … did Hell freeze over?

Penny was a remarkable companion. It was obvious he cared deeply for her, but where they stood in their friendship he was unsure. Were they just friends? Best friends? Were they moving to uncharted territory he had not even imagined would be probable? It was nearly impossible for him to comprehend.

"Hey, Sheldon? Remember when you said you listened to piano music? Well, I looked up some of the songs."

Sheldon's head snapped up from his plate and he stared at her curiously. What had she looked up? Since when was Penny a fan of soothing classical? Or else, why would she even look it up?

"Well, I found a few songs I really was fascinated with …"

"Oh?"

She blushed, and Sheldon stared.

"My favorites are Ludovico Einaudi's Primavera and Le Onde as well as Struggle For Pleasure by Wim Mertens. They are so beautiful and I was wondering if you would play one for me?"

"What?"

She sighed, poking at her food with her fork, "Could you play a song for me on the piano here? I already asked Richard my manager."

"I see. Perhaps I will."

Her face lit up with happiness and Sheldon swallowed the lump in his throat as he pushed out his chair and stood from his seat. He leaned over her.

"Don't let anyone touch my food."

She smiled and made an 'x' over her chest and he smirked back at her before walking over to the keyboard by the bar. He felt all the patrons' eyes on him as he settled behind the ivory keys. He let out a breath and chose to play Le Onde. It's the only one without string accompaniment.

His hands hovered over the keys and he began the slow introductory harmony with his left hand in a minor key. His right picked up directly where the melody began, adding a simultaneous happy tone to the otherwise somber melody. After a brief slowdown, the tempo increased as did the key. The light staccato notes rang in the silent restaurant and he felt his eyes flutter closed, allowing the music to take over as the middle of the piece began, a slower, more somber moment done in legato with less happier tones.

It was rare for him to find such peace in his music, but because he performed for Penny, his relaxation was easier. He had no one to impress but her and to his knowledge she had no piano training or a working comprehension of correct technique. There would be no ridicule.

The staccato higher notes picked up toward the end of the piece, shifting from minor to major-minor and the peaceful rhythm that gave the song its title rolled over him in gentle waves. He felt the smooth keys beneath his fingertips and pressed on toward the perfectly delicate ending of ambiguity and peace.

Sheldon opened his eyes after his fingers ceased their movements and he let out a breath. Raising his gaze from the keys to the room, he found her face, tears running from her eyes and a smile on her face. The silent room erupted into applause and Penny joined in without hesitation. He felt pride wash over him and he smirked at her. She mouthed to him 'take a bow' and he obliged before sliding into his seat.

"Thank you." Was all she whispered before they finished eating, paid, and left in silence.

Sheldon was a bit put off by his neighbor's sudden silence. Had she not been smiling and laughing earlier this day? Had his playing really affected her so badly? It couldn't have been positive if her silence was any indicator. He stared over at her, her eyes still watery and a bit red from her prior waterworks. He was unsure of what to do. He knew neither the protocol nor kind words he could share with her. Despite his honest nature, he was unsure how to approach a crying woman. He learned that his typical ways were not always as appropriate in certain situations. And thus silence was deemed the only appropriate response.

Upon arriving home, the two of them had walked upstairs in silence and by the time they'd reached the fourth floor, Penny was once again in tears. Sheldon walked her to her door in silence, but once she got the key in the door she turned and looked up at him. His heart caught in his throat at the sight of her. Lines of tears streamed down her face, with them taking mascara and eyeliner. He discovered immense sadness well up within him in sympathy for her. Before he could stop himself, he had hesitantly wiped away her tears. She had held his hand to her face for a very long time before letting go and stepping back. What she had told him still rocked him to his very core.

"Sheldon … I'm going to be gone for eleven months."

His breath caught in his throat. She was leaving. She was leaving him alone and with an out-of-whack schedule. By leaving she put a hole in his friendship paradigm. He found he could barely speak.

"Wh-why?"

His voice was barely a whisper, and he knew his sudden onset of nausea had to do with her.

"For filming … Spielburg wants to start tomorrow. I'm leaving at 3AM."

Sheldon stepped closer to Penny, his sadness turning to desperation.

"Why now? When were you notified?"

She sniffled as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. Sheldon wiped those away just as he had the first ones.

"L-last week. I couldn't bear to tell you, Sheldon! It breaks my heart enough to know that my best friend will be miles and miles away ..." she paused, hiccupping and throwing herself at his chest. Sheldon's breath caught again and she buried her face in his chest, crying freely.

"… I never want to leave like this, but I need this movie! I … I decided to audition because I wanted to impress you guys; I wanted to give you a reason to keep me around. Leonard and I crashed and burned and I've just felt isolated! I don't know what to do! I've already lost the guys but now I'm losing you!"

Her sobs triggered something in him, something he never thought he'd feel. It was something that the people on the forum tried to convince him he had inside: love; a warm, sympathetic affection for someone that only grew when this person was in distress. Sheldon nearly asphyxiated, forgetting how to breathe as he understood.

He loved this woman hugging him like a lifeline. He loved Penny.

Sheldon embraced her tightly.

"Eleven months … that's a very long time."

She sobbed, "I can barely survive being 10 minutes away from you …"

Sheldon smiled and buried his nose in her hair, breathing in the scent that was uniquely Penny.

"482,119.702."

She pulled back, her cheeks red and eyes dripping, "What?"

Sheldon smiled gently at her, wiping her eyes. He remembered how they did it in movies.

"482,119.702 are the number of minutes that compose eleven months."

She began crying all over again, "That's so many ..!"

He lifted her chin and wiped the fresh tears with his thumb.

"I'll still be here when you get back."

She smiled at him, laughing as she cried all over again.

"You're such a freak, but thank you, Sheldon."

He smiled and embraced her again.

"I'm so happy you're here."

"I always will be."

Sheldon sat down on his bed, his mind full of unanswered questions and a looming sadness that threatened his sleep cycle. Penny was going to be gone for eleven months. That was 47.8293356 weeks or 334.805349 days or 8 035.32837 hours or 482,119.702 minutes or 28 927 182.1 seconds … far too long for any reasonable person. Sheldon fell backwards and covered his face with his arms as tears began to fall.

God, how he loved that woman … and he couldn't wait for her to come home.

Forsaken Communication

TO: Dr. Sheldon Cooper

FROM: penpenhellokitty05 (at) gmail (dot) com

TOPIC: blank

hey sheldon! its penny! im on the plane rite now and the stewardess is gonna come over and yell at me in a min 2 shut the laptop off. neway, I just wanted to say goodbye and that ill miss u. Were going 2 new zealand. how cool is that lol! :) neway, just sayig bye and ill email u often! cya in 11 mths.

love penny

-T-B-B-T-

TO: Dr. Sheldon Cooper

FROM: penpen_

TOPIC: blank

wow! just got 2 new zland. super beautiful here. ill send u pics at sum point. im going to be very lonely here. I met jim parsons! ud like him. nice guy n real smart. neway, im getting on the train 2 go 2 the shooting site. ill tlk to u l8r.

love penny

-T-B-B-T-

TO: Dr. Sheldon Cooper

FROM: penpenhellokitty05 (at) gmail (dot) com

TOPIC: 2 monthz!

hey Sheldon! I cant believe its been 2 months already. only 9 left. filmings tough. we go for like 10 hours a day. I get my own chair tho. pretty cool. it has my name on it. the directors a cool guy. made friends real quick. im always exhausted after the day, but I made a note to email you today! arent you excited? lololol. neway, hows ur string theory comin? any progress? not that id understand if u told me neways, but just tryin to be friendly. why dont u ever mail me back? its lonely here. nzland is pretty but empty. i miss halo nite. maybe I can get live here. doubtful. neway ill tlk to u l8r. im super sleepy

gnite penny

-T-B-B-T-

TO: Dr. Sheldon Cooper

FROM: penpenhellokitty05 (at) gmail (dot) com

TOPIC: hey!

srsly? were r u l8ly? i miss u liek crazy! u never mail back. owell. ill keep sending you these til u do! hahaha spam up ur inbox. lololol damn its lonely here. can u keep me updated on stuff w/ the guyz? im seriously missin u guyz. well u mostly but w/e. jim bought lunch 2day. it was good. boring but good. i miss thai food and pizza and stuff we had together. its so hard being alone. I really cant wait to get home. will u play another song 4 me? le onde was pretty. mybe sfp? idk. i love ur piano playin its beautiful. :) wow its l8. probs early there but owell. i miss u.

penny

-T-B-B-T-

TO: Dr. Sheldon Cooper

FROM: penpenhellokitty05 (at) gmail (dot) com

TOPIC: long time

wow. first message in 3 months. i still hvnt herd from u. whats goin on? y wont u mail back? r u mad at me? did i do something wrong? Sheldon rly! its makin me nervus. im lonely here. 6 months is 2 long. can I go home? urgh I just want to stop. makeup is tedious and it feels terrible at the end of the day. movie is doin good tho. jim n I r good 2gethr. director says good chem. idk but sounds fine. Sheldon god i miss u. how r leonard n co? howard still w/ bernie? raj get a gf yet? lollolol doubt it but good luck 2 him. how r u? I rly want 2 hear from u. i check my mail everyday b4 bed. nothin. nothing for 5 months! wats goin on? im missin u liek crazy and u dont even mail back! srsly! r u mad? was leonard being mean again? ill go jr rodeo on his ass if u want when I com bak! or whoever. leslie winkle bein a bitch? tell her 2 stuff it! ur better than her. skank. bitch. neway, im just missin u and hopin ur okay. I rly rly miss u.

love much penny

PS. mail me plz?

-T-B-B-T-

TO: Dr. Sheldon Cooper

FROM: penpenhellokitty05 (at) gmail (dot) com

TOPIC: blank

were r u? i miss u so bad.

penny

-T-B-B-T-

TO: Dr. Sheldon Cooper

FROM: penpenhellokitty05 (at) gmail (dot) com

TOPIC: blank

… :( miss u. mail me plz.

penny

-T-B-B-T-

TO: Dr. Sheldon Cooper

FROM: penpenhellokitty05 (at) gmail (dot) com

TOPIC: 7 months LEO NIMOY!

its been so long. i miss u a lot. im comin home in 4 months. were almst done filming. its crazy how fast its ben. god I miss u. I wish u could hav ben here. ud love nzland. were workin on the end of the movie now. its sad and romantic and itll make u cry. i met leonard nimoy. he dropped by to check out the movie. he plays a minor roel. I can c y u luv him. hes cool n real smart. creative guy. he sends his regardz and a ur welcome 4 the xmas gift. lolol I told him u huggd me. hes so nice. I hope u read this n mail me back. I miss u much. bff where r u? :(

love much penny

-T-B-B-T-

TO: Dr. Sheldon Cooper

FROM: penpenhellokitty05 (at) gmail (dot) com

TOPIC: blank

messaging again. leo nimoy playz my dad. how cool is that? super excited. I told him all about u and he wants to meet u sumtim. I think we can do that. amirite? lololol damnit Sheldon y rnt u mailing me? im desperate here! at least promise ull come w/ me to the premiere?

love penny

-T-B-B-T-

PS. coming is non optional! :) social convention loll

TO: Dr. Sheldon Cooper

FROM: penpenhellokitty05 (at) gmail (dot) com

TOPIC: 1 month left holy shit

jeez im almost done. crazy huh? miss u still. cant wait to c u wen I get home. u have all my mail, rite? I hope so. lolol i rly rly cant wait to c u. I missd u guyz so bad. I hope I can fix things w/ leonard n the boyz. I no things r good w/ u or at least were good. u dont mail me so idk. im hopin u finished ur experiment w/o me. u only had waltz, salsa, and tango left to learn. i no all of them so mybe we can dance 2gether when I get home? id like 2 neway. im srsly missin u. hope ur ok.

love love love love much penny

PS. MAIL ME PLEASE?

-T-B-B-T-

TO: Dr. Sheldon Cooper

FROM: penpenhellokitty05 (at) gmail (dot) com

TOPIC: on my way home…

… comin home today. flite leaves in 2 hrs. airport is quiet, kinda creepy. wishin u were here. ill see u soon. love miss you much

penny

- T – B – B – T -

Sheldon stared at his computer screen, a twinge of happiness flickering in his sad heart. She was coming home soon. A smile snuck across his face, scrolling through the previous emails she'd sent. He felt horrid for never replying to them, but every time he read one, he felt himself die a bit on the inside. It hurt terribly to see her desperately reaching out to him; despite the little joy he felt when she said she missed him. At least it wasn't one-sided. Leonard, Raj, and Howard had been kinder to him while she was gone. Obviously they'd noticed his change in demeanor; a lack of pranks, lack of jokes, lack of Sheldon-y habits that defined him. It was strange to notice the change himself.

He guessed he could call it bad timing to realize he loved her the night before she left. It was a strange concept, love. How one could come to be so attached to another person never really made sense to him, it still didn't, but he found himself in the throes of desperation when he thought of her. It was a painful thing to think about how long and how far away she was from him. How she would be utterly absent from his life. He gripped at his chest through his Flash t-shirt as his throat tightened and his chest began to ache. It was a terrible ailment.

Leonard had caught on quickly. He was supportive and told Howard and Raj nothing of his … disease. It was simply not spoken of. He had devoted all his time outside dance lessons and designated nights to his research, allowing himself to not think, but feel, something he'd learned from dancing. It proved more than effective. In three months, he had managed to prove string theory. Not by fallacy or electric can opener interference. Cold hard instinct had given him the lead. He'd followed it and lo and behold, there before his eyes was the key. It was strange, finally achieving his lifelong goal. He was going to receive the Nobel Prize. It had been announced last month. He couldn't wait to tell Penny.

Letting out a yawn, Sheldon closed his laptop and wandered off to bed. Tomorrow she would be home. Tomorrow he would be at peace.

Leonard snuck out of his room after Sheldon had fallen asleep, tiptoeing to his roommate's laptop. He had a mission. Opening the XPS, he hacked Sheldon's email and got to work. He hit send and turned everything off, a smile on his face.

They'll work out. They were made for each other.

TO: Penny (penpenhellokitty05 (at) gmail (dot) com)

FROM: drsheldoncooper (at) caltech (dot) edu

TOPIC: Hey

Penny,

It's Leonard. Sheldon's been incredibly sad and lonely for the past 11 months. All of us are incredibly proud of you, but he's taken your absence hard. We are all excited for your return tomorrow.

Sheldon is being awarded the Nobel Prize this year. He managed to prove string theory, the lucky bastard. :) We're all very proud of him. I hope you are too. He's missed you more than anything. You mean so much to him, Penny. I don't know how you did it, but you've changed him from a robot/alien species to a human being. It's an amazing thing, and you're an amazing woman. Please don't ever hurt him, not that you would.

We all miss you and can't wait to see you.

- Leonard (and Howard, Raj and of course, lovesick Sheldon.)

Timorous Reception prt 1

His office was quiet and it gave him the sensation of being completely isolated. His mind, usually flooded with formulas, string theory, trains, and Spock, was empty. It wasn't the same state of non-thought that dancing gave him; this was pure nothingness. It was as blank and white as the boards that stood surrounding his desk. He couldn't think if he tried. He couldn't concentrate. Nothing seemed important. Only one thing crossed his mind: Penny was coming home today.

As the fact settled down, nesting in his brain, his eyes widened in a realization. She was coming home. He had no idea how to welcome her back. He laid his head down on his crossed arms, berating himself for the first time about his lack of social skills. How was he to greet her? A gift? A large banner? A party? Some sort of physical contact? The notion of it made him shiver, whether in excitement or in disgust he wasn't sure.

He could ask Leonard. Sheldon scowled. That was absolutely the last thing he wanted to be forced into doing. He despised asking Leonard for any sort of assistance. The man was not nearly as intelligent as he, but alas, Sheldon realized it was desperation that led him to the need. He sighed and left his office.

"How to greet her?"

Sheldon sighed, "Yes, Leonard. I am unsure of the proper protocol of welcoming someone dear home from a long absence. How do I go about it?"

Leonard turned away, working on another (unnecessary and useless) experiment.

"Well, typically you get someone a gift. Wine is good for a friend. Penny'd like that. Flowers for relatives, although that's more for when someone is sick. You could also throw a party, but knowing you that isn't going to happen."

"A gift you say. Perhaps, if you are not busy—and obviously you aren't, because what you are working on is no longer relevant to string theory—I ask that you drive me to the supermarket so that I may purchase the best wine available."

Leonard glared at him, but the 6 foot something genius remained impassive.

"Well?"

The shorter man finally caved, sighing dramatically and he seemed to collapse as the air whooshed out of his lungs.

"Fine."

Sheldon turned away and stood in the doorway, "I'll be waiting by the car in an hour."

Sheldon perused the racks and racks of wines and liquors at the local supermarket, sharply examining the details of each bottle. He was unsure of what kind of wine to get Penny. There were dry grape wines, fruit wines, barley wines, ginger wines, red, rosé, white, dessert! He was overwhelmed by the varieties. He glanced over at Leonard, who was happily talking away on his iPhone with Stephanie. He nearly pouted, but turned his attention towards a store employee.

"Sir, I have a few questions for you."

The man smiled, "Sure, what can I help you with?"

"Well, you see, a very important friend of mine is coming home after an eleven month voyage. I have missed her terribly and have decided wine is an appropriate welcoming gift. However, as I do not drink, I am unsure of which wine would be appropriate for the situation."

"Oh," the clerk was, amazingly, unfazed, "this happens a lot. I'll ask you a few questions myself."

Sheldon nodded, "Very well."

"How close are the two of you?"

"I am unsure of where I stand in the friendship paradigm, but we get along very well, and she only emailed me within our group of acquaintances when she was away."

"Hm," the employee—his nametag read 'Chuck'—nodded, absorbing the information.

"Is she a sweet tooth?"

Sheldon had to think. She did enjoy ice cream; Häagen-Dazs was a regular occupant of her freezer.

"Yes."

Chuck smiled, "Are you romantically interested in her?"

Sheldon stared at the man, appalled at such an open question, "I do not believe that is any of your business."

"Yeah, okay. You like her." He just smiled, chuckling as he headed toward a selection of red wines.

"At first, I was going to tell you to get a dessert wine, but since you 'didn't tell me' if you were romantically interested in this woman, I'm going to suggest a Merlot, preferably vintage."

Sheldon blinked, "Why change your decision based upon irrelevant and prying information?"

Chuck shrugged, smiling. "I have a feeling Merlot will better represent your intent."

Sheldon was puzzled, but remained silent. He nodded.

"So, this one here has strong flavor. Tannin levels are low so it's not dry, and it's spent a lot of time in oak, seeing as it is a vintage. I believe this one is commonly recognized as having cherry, chocolate, and smoke notes. It's a very good wine."

Sheldon stared at it, wanting to believe Chuck.

"Would you buy this if you were in my situation?"

Chuck nodded, "Absolutely. I'd want to impress and make my lady friend happy. Don't you?"

Sheldon clutched the brown bag tightly to his chest like it was a lifeline as Leonard drove home. The radio was a dull drone and he hardly noticed it when compared to the obnoxiously loud beating of his heart. He still had no idea how to greet her. He still felt terribly guilty that he had not replied to her emails and worried about how to explain to her that he hadn't meant it negatively, that it was simply too difficult to email her back because it hurt so much.

But he also worried that his speech would come across too brusque and cold. He needed her to know he wanted to attend the movie premiere with her; he wanted to spend more time with her. He had missed her terribly and now she was coming home and he could once again smell her lovely shampoo and soap mixed with her natural scent that had become such a comfort. Good Lord, had he had missed her.

Sheldon noticed that the closer to home Leonard drove the louder and faster his heart beat. It wildly pounded against his sternum and he afraid he would break some ribs from its furious assault—but then he remembered that was impossible. When had he gotten so forgetful of such basic knowledge? Perhaps it was his single-minded attachment to Penny.

"Leonard, she knows I never replied to her emails. Will she be upset?"

He shrugged, "The hell if I know, Sheldon. It's best to just be honest with her. Tell her why you didn't. It will be easier than trying to avoid it or—god forbid—lying."

"I suppose you are correct. I had assumed as such, but I have second guessed my own intelligence. This never happens."

"You really love her, don't you?"

Sheldon felt his face heat and he cursed his traitorous body, "Yes. I do."

Leonard said nothing but when Sheldon looked over, his friend was smiling. Confused, Sheldon exited the car with his friend.

"So, Sheldon, you excited to see Penny?"

"Dude, what's in the bag?"

"Guys, leave Sheldon alone. He got some wine to welcome Penny back. He's nervous."

"Oh. Well, jeez, Sheldon! Why didn't you tell us we were getting her gifts? Now I look like a cheap Jew!"

"Yeah, dude! I feel bad now."

"It is not of my fault that none of you are competent enough to have remembered it is an appropriate social convention to give a gift upon the return of a dear friend."

"Guys, please, Sheldon's freaked enough as it is. We need to leave him to his own devices."

"Yeah, alright."

"Got it."

Sheldon exhaled loudly, nervous and incredibly irritated that Howard and Raj managed to pop up at the exact time they returned home. He was planning to go practice his speech he was going to give Penny in peace before summoning up courage to go talk to her. Alas, that was no longer possible.

As the group rounded the landing to the final set of stairs, Sheldon's Vulcan hearing picked up the soft sound of music. It was obviously coming from Penny's apartment. He swallowed nervously, hoping that his friends would not hear—despite the fact that he knew they would.

"Hey, Penny's home!"

"Yeah, Sheldon! Why don't you go knock?"

Sheldon glared at his buddies half heartedly before staring at her door. He had no time to react as Leonard gave him a push in the direction of her apartment. He stumbled, staring over his shoulder with a bewildered expression.

"What are you insinuating!"

Leonard, Howard, and Raj smiled, "Go on. Welcome her home."

"But—!"

All three gave him a look and he sighed, caving under the peer pressure for the first time in his life.

"Very well."

The customary tri-knock was softer than usual and his voice was barely above a murmur. His heart was racing and his palms had begun to perspire. He was nervous. There was no sound of decreased volume, and Sheldon turned away from the door, deciding she hadn't heard him. He took two steps away when he heard his name called.

"Sheldon?"

He turned away from his grinning friends, panic on his face as his blonde unrequited love squealed loudly and launched her self at him. He barely had time to accommodate the wine as she jumped on him in a hug, hanging from his neck. He cannot hug her back.

"Oh! Hi guys! I'm home!"

He felt her wave and suddenly was yanked through her open apartment door, which slammed behind them loudly, leaving the three other boys in the hall.

-T–B–B–T–

"Well, that was interesting."

"Dude, she just … jumped him. Literally!"

Leonard just smiled, unlocking his apartment.

"How the hell did robot-man Sheldon get the girl?"

"Dude, beats me, but they deserve each other. Both of them can be very mean."

Leonard smiled to himself as he sat down in his armchair, amused and proud that his best friend had finally accepted his humanity. He laughed to himself.

Homo Novus, my ass. You're human just like everyone else, Sheldon; just a man. Well, a highly intelligent man, but still, just a man.

Ardent Recipience prt 2

Sheldon was overwhelmed as she thrust him down on the couch, falling beside him. Penny buried her face in his chest and began talking and crying, whispering things while gripping the fabric of his green lantern t-shirt like a lifeline.

"I've missed you so much and I was so excited to tell you all about everything that was happening in New Zealand and so I emailed you all the time but after the first three I figured you were not getting them or you didn't care and it made me really sad and it was that much harder with your looming absence and its really not fair of me to blame you because Leonard emailed me about your finally proving string theory and I'm so proud of you, you goddamn genius, I missed you so badly when I was gone and after a while I thought you were dead or really, really mad at me and I was crying a lot and Leonard Nimoy was so nice to me and—!"

Sheldon tried to follow her train of thought that was cut off by a crippling sob, but failed miserably. He hesitantly places a hand on her back and rubs in gentle counter-clockwise motions, pulling her closer and burying his nose in her hair. He inhaled that wonderful scent that was uniquely Penny and sighed, shushing her gently.

"There, there, Penny … don't worry, Sheldon's here."

His anxiety spiked as she sobbed harder, gripping so hard it hurt a little, but he gritted his teeth and remained silent. He continued shushing her and calming her down, breathing her in with every word. He missed her just as she did him.

"Shh, Penny. There, there. I'm here. Sheldon's here."

She hiccupped and let out a soft laugh, "I c-can't believe h-how different t-that sounds now."

"What?"

Penny looked up at him, tears still spilling from her eyes but a smile on her face.

"Do you remember when I dislocated my shoulder?"

I accidentally grabbed your breast; how could I forget?

"Yes, you fell on account of your lack of adhesive ducks."

She laughed again, "You said the same thing in the waiting room and I wanted to kill you. But now, it's just so comforting."

Sheldon's lips twitched in a small smile as he looked down at her nestled against his chest and he used his thumb to wipe away her tears.

"Now, Penny. I was unable to understand your long monologue and if it is important, I ask you now to repeat it at a slower pace."

"Oh. Right."

Sheldon smirked against her hair as she began to talk, her breath against his chest warm and comforting. He closed his eyes and continued rubbing circles on her back as she went on and on about New Zealand and her movie.

"—and it was really hard without support of a friend. Granted, I adored Jim's company, but it got very difficult to function because I missed you so terribly. It got more difficult when Mr. Nimoy showed up."

Sheldon's breath hitched; he'd forgotten! Leonard Nimoy, his favorite actor, played her father in the movie. She'd probably touched him. He smiled into her hair, incredibly pleased.

"He was so much like you, the way he moved, spoke … it made me realize how important you were to me and how deeply I missed you. Sheldon, it was so hard seeing what could easily be an older version of you walking around the set. But, he was so wonderful. He and I talked a lot, and he helped me through my bouts of loneliness. He wants to meet you, you know."

Penny looked up at him and smiled; her eyes moist from crying. Sheldon almost forgot how to breathe at how surprisingly perfect she was. Penny was his personification of Euler's Formula, and it felt so right to think it.

"I told him you would be at the premiere with me."

Sheldon smirked at her, "Well I suppose now I have to go."

Her smile brightened and his heart felt like it skipped a beat. Good Lord, how he'd missed her. It still astounded him how much he loved her.

"After a while, though, I wasn't sure if you'd even want to go with me. I mean, you never replied to any of my emails and I was certain that you were angry with me. I was constantly thinking about what I'd done wrong. I thought of ways I'd messed up your schedule, your priorities … I felt terrible. But of course my stupid brain decided to travel further and I thought—" Penny choked on her words, trying not to cry and Sheldon's grip on her tightened in attempted comfort, "—I thought you were dead."

"Well, Penny, as you can plainly see I am alive and quiet well."

She cried out in what sounded like anger at herself and her thoughts, "I know! I feel so stupid, but I was really scared you'd left me …"

Her words confused him for a moment; the two of them weren't "together"—if she was talking about the dating term for a couple. He was unsure of how to respond, but he could feel her mounting distress in the tightening of her muscles beneath his hands. Without thinking, he held her gentle, leaning down by her ear.

"You know I cannot lie. I told you I would still be here when you returned, did I not?"

His voice was barely above a whisper and he pulled back from her ear to look her in the face. She was smiling gratefully and a single tear fell from her eye, which he quickly wiped away. Penny needed no words, for her "thank you" was shining through her expression louder than any statement could have been.

Sheldon suddenly released her, remembering what he'd bought. He saw a flash of rejection flit across her face and immediately knew he'd have to act fast. Sheldon offered her the brown bag sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

"It is a common social convention to offer a neighbor a gift of home-warming after returning from a long absence. So I bought you something."

Penny pulled out the wine and smiled at the label. She laughed, the sound of it filling Sheldon with warmth and intense pride. It was short lived and replaced with something else when she suddenly hovered over him, kissing his cheek in a way that he assumed was supposed to be chaste, but left his body humming. Sparks flew down his spine and warmth built in his stomach. He shut his eyes and let out a silent shuddering breath. She had no idea what she did to him. He looked over to her smiling face.

"Thank you, Sheldon. It means so much."

He felt himself turn red as he looked down to his folded hands in his lap, "Welcome home."

Silence filled the room in a comfortable peace. Penny stood from her seat and went into the kitchen, and Sheldon inferred via sound that she was retrieving two wine glasses and uncorking the bottle, according the clinking of glass and the low pop. Sheldon settled back into the couch, finding it more suitable than the green chair. Odd. He'd chosen that first, and he never changed his mind.

"Here, sweetie. Small glass for you."

He stared at the glass and then her, "But I don't drink."

"It's okay. It won't get you drunk."

He sighed, picking up the glass and smelling it. Chuck had been right. It smelled woodsy and quite nice. He looked over at Penny and she smiled at him.

"A toast to … friendship, and coming home."

Sheldon nodded, a knot tightening in his chest at the word friendship. He sighed, raising his glass to meet hers in a pleasant chink.

The two sipped and sighed. Sheldon put his glass down on the coffee table and turned to his blonde neighbor.

"Penny, I am not very good at apologies, but I do believe one is in order," he watched her open her mouth to protest, but he hurried on, "I am apologizing for the lack of responses you received to your email-based attempts of communication. It was surprisingly very difficult to deal with your absence and it was all I could do to simply complete my experiment, attend work and my nightly schedule," he paused, looking at her pointedly, an honest and open expression on his face.

"I was completely unaware as to how attached I am to your presence, and it was an absolute challenge to function without it."

Penny stared, wide-eyed at him, his embarrassment working its way to his face, coloring it as time wore on. He began to grow uncomfortable and fidgeted under her gaze. He didn't know how to act in this sort of situation. His anxiety climbed as he awaited a response.

-T–B–B–T–

Penny wasn't sure if she'd actually heard what had just exited his mouth. She was stunned beyond belief that her little robot-man Wall-E had missed her. He had missed her as much as she had him. It was astounding.

She'd realized the second she'd got on that plane that she was in love with him. He was the Wall-E to her EVE, the Spock to her Uhura, the Doctor to her Rose, the Noah to her Allie. She loved him more than she'd loved anyone else.

It scared her to realize something so profound on her way to a place where he would not be. It scared her to realize he was nothing like the man she'd expected to fall in love with the majority of her life. It fascinated her to realize that he could very well be capable of loving her back.

He definitely wasn't a robot; robots couldn't dance that well. Robots couldn't play the piano so beautifully all for her. Robots couldn't hold her close and tell her he would still be here, waiting, for her return. Robots couldn't miss her. Sheldon was human. He was her Sheldon; the one nerdy, intelligent, perfect man for her. It brought a smile to her face just thinking of him.

She figured it had all started that day she'd found his shirt. She'd taken it with her to New Zealand and slept with it every night in hopes to have a way to keep him close. It hadn't worked as well as she'd hoped. Every day without his tri-knock and overwhelming presence wore her down and she'd had a hard time forcing a smile to work.

Leonard Nimoy had helped so much, he'd been married twice and still knew everything there was to know about love. He'd learned as Spock, and through his own experience. The man was incredible. She was incredibly grateful for his presence; without his support she knew she'd have had a breakdown.

She'd probably been subconsciously in love with him since she'd seen him; Sheldon was definitely someone you could call incredibly attractive in a strange sort of way and his hyperaware nature probably stood out in her mind. He had done nothing but help her throughout the time she'd been living across from him and that probably heightened her awareness of him. The t-shirt had been another catalyst, an important one at that; she'd learned how good he smelled and how hygienic he was—and the dancing had been the seal to the deal. His hands, his scent, his body … the way he moved was hypnotizing. She had loved him from day one.

Sheldon's fidgeting brought her out of her thoughts. She stared into his eyes that were always too blue and felt herself smile. Warmth trickled through her veins and heated her from the inside out. Penny leaned against his chest, closing her eyes, murmuring.

"Thank you."

She felt Sheldon's arms drape around her in a protective embrace, and she snuggled closer to him, hoping she could find a way to make this perfect, beautiful minded man fall in love with her. His nose became buried in her hair and pressed gently against her scalp, the warm breath escaping heating her gently and she smiled, feeling safe and warm as she listened to his gentle hummingbird heartbeat.

The Vulcan Philanthropy

"—obviously the only correct color scheme would be neutral pairing. The colors selected must be at optimal and most pleasing levels as is dictated by physics."

"Why the hell do we have to consult physics about color combinations!"

"Because by using the standards set by physics, we can select the most pleasing levels of color."

"Yeah, but have you taken into account our own skin, hair and eye colors?"

"Why would I do such a thing? It has no relevance to the aesthetics—"

"Screw aesthetics! I only pick colors that match my season!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Well, I am a summer, so I look good in pastels, softer neutrals that have either rose-colored or blue undertones, lavenders, plum, rose-brown, and soft blue colors. You are most likely a winter, with your pale skin, dark hair, and bright eyes. You should wear … um, stark, sharp colors. White, navy blue … probably some reds. Icy pastels would be good. You definitely can't wear beige, orange, or gold."

"… you are inferring things based upon physical details rather than science."

"Duh. Science is good in theory, but like Communism, fails in practice."

"Excuse me, but you are incorrect. Does an apple fall when you let it out of your outstretched hand?"

"… yes?"

"Precisely! That is science in practice, and obviously it does not fail."

"Well, what I meant was it's not practical all the time. Sometimes other details overshadow science."

"I absolutely disbelieve what you are saying."

"I'll freakin' prove it to you! I'll put you in orange and take a picture and then put you in blue and take a picture. You can compare them side by side and I can guarantee you'd look better in blue."

"…"

"HA! I win."

"Absolutely not. I was simply thinking."

"But you didn't have a retort! I'm right and you know it!"

"Preposterous!"

"Dammit, Sheldon. Get in there."

"What are you—agh! THIS HAS NOT BEEN SANITIZED!"

"Too damn bad, I'm getting you some shirts."

"Penny … people have gotten naked in here..!"

"Well, duh. It's a changing room. Ma'am—"

"Penny, I do believe I am hyperventilating!"

"—can you find me two shirts? Yeah, an orange one and a navy one."

"Penny, I need some Purell! I touched the seat!"

"No, the style doesn't really matter—SHUT UP, SHELDON!—um, a men's tall."

"Penny, I need my Purell. Oh, Lord, I'm having an asthma attack!"

"No, I don't know the exact size—SHELDON, YOU'RE FINE!—Jesus, wom—"

"Mom'd be angry for bringing Jesus in—"

"—an, you saw him! He's six foot something and skinny as all hell! Just find something!"

"PENNY!"

"What, Sheldon?"

"… nothing."

Penny swore that he was going to drive her insane. They'd been browsing the shelves of a department store for only a few minutes, but already he was arguing with her over fashion sense and obviously—judging from his own preference—Sheldon had none to speak of. Sure, his bizarre clothing combinations suited him, but it was nothing appropriate for any sort of formal event.

He thought that plaid blazers were the epitome of high fashion. She often told him otherwise, especially in the past ten minutes. He really was adorable, but she knew he had so much more potential. As she stood outside his dressing room, waiting for the sales clerk to return, she thought about the past three days she'd been home.

She'd fallen asleep on him that first day, but he'd been absent when she'd awakened. During her slumber, he must have gently removed himself, putting her pillow in his place and covered her with the hideous blanket she'd crocheted herself in high school. That day, they'd gone to the comic book store, as was protocol. She could still remember how much she'd stunned him …

"Penny, why are you talking to me?"

"I have a question."

He'd turned to her, shooting a look that had been clearly displeased.

"Okay, so I've got this issue. I've been reading all the Batman comics that I borrow from you, but some of the stuff from the 70s isn't making any sense. I'm a shipper of Selena and Bruce—"

Sheldon blinked, "Catwoman and Batman?"

"Yeah."

He'd put down his comic book and given her an interested look, "Continue."

"Anyway, stuff from the 70s isn't making much sense. I mean, Selena as a murderer? I just don't see that happening."

"Ah, the Earth-B plight."

"Huh?"

Sheldon had gone into full-on lecture mode. Penny smiled; she loved it when he was like this, so passionate. It made her wonder about other things.

"The stories from the 70s are some of my least favorites. The dramatic difference was so out of character that this version of Catwoman was assigned to the alternate world of Earth-B, a proxy Earth that included stories that couldn't be considered canonical on Earth-One or Earth-Two."

"Oh! Okay, that's good. I like Selena. I probably wouldn't like her so much any more if she'd committed murder."

"Of course, you women and your distaste for murder."

"What, and you appreciate it?"

He'd shot her a look, "If it's done exceptionally creatively," he paused, "bazinga."

She'd laughed, incredibly pleased he'd been joking.

"However, Penny, the 1989 Catwoman: Her Sister's Keeper documents the murder of her former boyfriend."

"Did she have a reason?"

"He had kidnapped and abused her sister Maggie. Although the story isn't well received by many …"

"Oh. That's fine then."

"You've just contradicted yourself. You previously stated you probably wouldn't like her for murder."

"Yeah, but she saved her sister. It's a paradox like the if you could push a button and save a trainload of people but kill those waiting on the platform or just let the train crash and kill only those on the train. There's no right answer."

"Hm. How insightful of you, Penny."

"I try."

She'd smiled and swore she'd seen his lips twitch upwards.

That had been a good day. The second was uneventful, spent making calls about premieres and outfits and appearances. Misery. The only good thing that had happened was when Leonard Nimoy called to ask how she was doing.

Damn, girl! Damn you'se a sexy bitch! A sexy bitch!

"Hello?"

"Ah, Penelope. Greetings."

She'd immediately brightened, sitting down on the couch and curling up in her crocheted blanket.

"Mr. Nimoy! What a surprise!"

"Please, call me Leo."

Penny had smiled, "Of course, Leo. What's the occasion?"

"No particular reason. Simply calling to see how my Jui'lr is doing."

"Oh, Ameih! Don't be rediculous!" she laughed.

His voice had wavered in a quiet chuckle, "In all honesty, I just wanted to ask you how you were readjusting. I hope the anti-jetlag medication I offered worked sufficiently?"

"Oh, it was great! I adjusted really well! Thanks again."

"Wonderful. How is your friend Sheldon?"

Penny's chest had tightened, "He's … clueless as ever."

"Of course. You told me he is only interested in his work and his past times, correct?"

"Yeah. I feel like our relationship is doomed to be a one-sidely platonic one."

"Penelope, please do not fret. I believe he will come around. You are a charming woman."

"He's never expressed any interest in women. Ever. My other friends joke that one day he'll just be all mitosis-y and there'll be two of him, or that he'll spin a cocoon and sleep only to emerge as a scary new species. There's also the robot theory."

Leo's voice hd been playful, "What about Pon Farr?"

Penny blinked, "Come again?"

"Forgive me, it's something from my Star Trek days. Pon Farr is when Vulcan males go into heat every seven years. Unfortunately, they become blood feverish and violent, eventually dying if they do not mate with someone to whom they are empathetically bound."

"Hey, that's a good one. Maybe I'll mention it to him next time. Any knowledge I have about Star Trek would perhaps help my standing with him."

"I can send you some things over the internet to help you, if you'd like. I also have a gift for both you and Sheldon, if you would accept it."

"Oh, Leo, you don't have to!"

"Nonsense, anything for you, my Jui'lr."

She had laughed, "Oh, fine, Ameih. Do what you want. So what are you sending me?"

"I have already sent it. It's a recording of myself explaining the universe along with simple images and diagrams to give a visual and verbal stimulus. It should help immortalize the information in your mind."

"Wow, Leo. That's great! Why?"

The older man had laughed gaily, "To help you win his heart. Penelope, you are so deserving of a good partner, and this Sheldon of yours seems to be the one for you. He will love you if you give him reason and time."

"I hope so, Leo. I really do. He's so wonderful."

"My gift of knowledge and the other one may help a bit."

"Well, what are you sending?"

"Why, something from the original series, styled for both you and him."

"What is it?"

When he had told her what he was sending, she was so excited. Penny grinned just thinking of it now. He was going to be so excited! The package should be in when she returned to the apartment …

"Penny?"

She was dragged back to reality at Sheldon's voice, "Yes, honey?"

"Are you really going to be taking photographs?"

"Absolutely."

"… darn."

He'd stepped out in the orange shirt and Penny felt her eye twitch. She held up her phone and snapped a picture, "Okay, get that atrocious thing off and put on the other one."

"…" he was silent aside from his grumbling and locked himself in the changing room again. She nearly laughed as she heard him saying something about taking a Purell bath when he got home.

Her third day home she'd spent researching Star Trek and streaming some of the episodes online. Leo's information had proved incredibly thorough. The series was surprisingly wonderful and she found she also was in love with Spock's character.

It was incredible that her friends knew Klingon, that would never be something she could learn; it was hard enough making a movie that was mostly in another language, albeit a fake one. It blew her away how smart her praying mantis was.

"Penny?"

"Yes, honey?"

"I'm done."

He stepped out of the room and Penny felt her breath catch. He wasn't wearing a shirt, but a navy blue sweater with a small red moose stitched up above the left breast near the v-neck collar. His striped, long-sleeve polo shirt stuck out terribly, but the color was incredibly flattering … had he been wearing a white or ice blue button-down shirt underneath, he would look sharp and very, very attractive. She snapped a picture.

"Okay, we're done. You can change. I want you to buy that sweater though."

"Why?"

"Because it looks good. Now change so we can pay and go."

Sheldon sighed, "Very well."

-T–B–B–T–

"… and so I was surprised to find that in Star Trek V and VI Uhura was a romantic interest for Scotty. Personally, I find it better to pair her with Spock, per the new movie."

"I can see your point, however I fail to see the importance of romance in the series."

"Romance is always there. It isn't fair that Kirk gets all the girls!"

"I suppose you are right. However, Vulcans are taught to be logical, not emotional—"

"Sheldon, I'm surprised at you. Do you not remember that Spock has a human mother? And that his father married her not only out of obligation, but because he fell in love with her?"

"… you are right. When did you become so well versed in my favorite show?"

"Oh, behind your back. I've been saving it all up just to rub it in your face."

"Well, congratulations, my face has been rubbed."

Penny laughed, swinging open the door of the apartment building.

"Ooh, I wonder if it came!"

"If what came?"

She smiled, "Oh, a friend sent me some stuff."

"I see."

She bounded to her mailbox, seeing a package on the table with her name on it. There was no return address.

"Oh, yay!" she tore into the wrapping tape, pulling the box apart. On top of tissue paper, a white piece of paper sat, an elegant "Ya Jui'lr" scrawled on it. Breaking the wax seal with "LN" on it, she skimmed through the letter.

Penelope,

I do hope you enjoy these. Tell Sheldon I say hello.

Live long and prosper,

L.N.

"Aw, Leo! You're so cute!"

Sheldon lurked over her shoulder, "Who's L.N.? And why are they telling me hello? Why has this been signed with "live long and prosper"? Penny—!"

"Shush, you!"

She dug around in the box, pulling out two smaller white ones, each labeled differently with an "S" and a "P".

"This is yours, honey."

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow, "What?"

"It's for you from my friend. A gift. Don't worry, you don't need to reciprocate."

"Good."

Sheldon opened the box carefully and when he looked inside he nearly had a heart attack like the one at Christmas.

"Oh my Lord … Penny, is this what I think it is?"

"Yup! Real Vulcan ears from the original Star Trek series! Guess who sent them for you?"

"L-Leonard Nimoy!"

She nodded, "He gave me some too! These are the only ones left aside from his large collection."

"Oh Lord … Penny ..! How can I—!"

"Come with me to the premiere!"

He nodded, embracing her tightly, more comfortably than ever before. She melted in his embrace.

"I will."

Celluloid Modification

Sheldon paced his apartment, nervous and unsure of what he really wanted to do. Penny had implied that she was going to go to her designer friend's studio to get fitted for a dress for the premiere. She'd asked him to accompany her. It was such a strange request and he'd found himself agreeing without thinking.

She'd changed him more than she would ever know. It was strange, to say the least, that he'd taken it all in stride without thinking much of it. Now, his change stared him right back in the face and he could not avoid seeing the stark difference. The shock had driven him to his state of pacing and jittering nerves.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"SHELDON!"

He raced to the door, swinging it open, "Penny?"

"Quick! Turn on the TV!"

He obeyed without question, her strange excitement prompting him to ask her the channel.

"I think it's on 61, hurry!"

The channel was flipped to, and Sheldon seated himself in his spot beside Penny. Eagerly, the opening of a trailer began to play, the piano and guitar music from Nine Inch Nails' "Something I Can Never Have" playing softly as the image of a blonde alien woman with a deep tanned complexion faded into view. She … wait, was that Penny?

Sheldon was amazed at the image of his neighbor looking anything but human, yet still exactly the same. The images flashed across the screen, depicting Penny interacting and suffering along with the hero. He watched as tears began to pour from Penny's eyes as she gripped at the male lead, a good pick from what he'd seen, seeming to be begging him to stay.

"Selhden! Qau wre'al teus?"

Sheldon was surprised at the fluid pronunciation of Penny's words. They sounded so different from anything he'd heard before, even more different than the language from Avatar, but he was entranced by the beauty of the strange language and astounded at the .

"Aiòn, ch'a laeldo fan."

"Deman, anle choau."

The actor (Jim Parsons was it?) playing "Selhden" smiled gently at her, placing his pale hand on her darker cheek. Small markings on Penny's skin glowed gently as the rain fell around them.

"Anle choau sja."

The screen darkened as the title of the movie flashed across the screen, FLUX, and the date it would come to theatres. As it ended, Penny's voice echoed over the fading information,

"VANOA NRI'AH FAHN!"

He sat back against the soft leather of the couch, unaware that he had become so enwrapped in the preview. He looked over at Penny, who was biting her lip in anticipation of his reaction.

"That was marvelous, Penny. I am quite impressed."

She squeaked, an endearing sound, and hugged him suddenly. He tensed a bit, but relaxed and patted her gently on the back.

"I'm so glad you liked it! It was so difficult to make and it made it all worth it that you approve!"

Sheldon felt himself blush as she held him.

"I do have an inquiry for you."

She pulled back, a look of slight anxiety shining through her brilliantly green eyes.

"What were you saying?"

She smiled coyly, the anxious look vanishing with a blink of the eye.

"That, I cannot tell you. You have to wait until the movie. Vahd nro'ah raeul."

He frowned at her, "What did you say?"

She only winked, and he felt his eye twitch in irritation.

"So, Sheldon, will you come help me get my dress fitted? Maybe Franz can fit you up with something too!"

"Why would I need new clothing?"

She shot him a look and he cringed; she didn't think fondly of his fashion choices, obviously.

"Well, you obviously have crap for formal attire, and we can't have you seen at the premiere, a formal situation, in a plaid sport coat! You need a suit or something!"

Sheldon sighed, "very well," knowing he would not win this. He would have ended up agreeing anyway.

The car ride with her was quiet despite her occasional radio playing. As she skimmed the channels, he noted Lady Antebellum playing on one of them.

"Hm. I have heard that this song is very good."

"You like Lady Antebellum? Since well?"

"I never said I liked the band, only that this particular song I had heard was very good."

"Hm. Need You Now is their new popular one. It's such an amazing male female duet!"

"Hm."

Being a Texas boy, country music always had a place in his heart. Both his sister and older brother used to make him watch the Country Music Awards every year and his mother too loved the genre.

"Let us hear it."

Penny made no complaint as the lyrics were sung. Sheldon glanced over at her, seeing her singing softly under her breath. Had she taken singing lessons? It sounded better than usual. She caught his gaze and she paused, smiling.

"Sing with me?"

He gaped awkwardly at her and she began the refrain, her eyes wide as she motioned toward him in an effort to make him sing. He sighed, knowing this was yet another losing battle. He joined her.

"And I don't know how I can do without! I just need you now!"

She laughed as they sang together, and Sheldon couldn't help but smile. He was enjoying himself. As the second verse started he sang along with it and when the refrain came again the two of them belted it out together.

"Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all! It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now. And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now! And I don't know how I can do without; I just need you now! I just need you now!"

By the end the two of them were laughing, and Sheldon could hardly process why but it was incredibly fun. The rest of the ride was spent in comfortable silence.

-T–B–B–T–

"AH! Penny! Darling, you made it!"

Sheldon watched awkwardly as the strange, tall, orange haired woman with thick black glasses hugged Penny. He was surprised at the fact the designer was a woman; Franz was typically a man's name, although this woman looked quite androgynous.

"Franz, this is my friend, Sheldon. Sheldon, this is Francine Bellefleur. She's one of the first friends I made here, aside from you guys."

"Oh, so you're the Doctor Whackadoodle I've heard so much about! What a pleasure. Don't call me Francine like Pen just did. She knows I hate it, Franz suits me better."

Sheldon nodded, shaking her outstretched hand; she had a tight grip! He resisted the urge to rub the sore appendage.

"So, Pen, you're ready for your final fitting?"

His blonde neighbor jumped in excitement, "Absolutely! I've been looking forward to this for weeks!"

Sheldon smiled to himself; she had definitely been excited. After all, the woman had done nearly nothing but speak about this appointment. It was all she could talk about.

"Okay, honey, come on back. Shelly, you stay here, okay?"

He frowned at Franz, but obeyed. He took a seat in the cleanest looking chair and thought. He thought about everything that had transpired since he'd walked in on her dancing. All his emotions, his changes, himself, and what he had become in that time frame. It was amazing what she had done to him.

Nothing bad, only positive changes stood out to him. He had become more caring and understanding, especially around her. He respected others at a lower intellectual level, for without thought, amazing things could happen. It inevitably was unfair of him to judge when he did not know of hidden talents of others. In Penny's case, it was compassion and a long string of patience that granted her the ability to deal with him and teach him to dance. It was her who had given him the realization that he could love.

She was the only reason he had become a better person, and he knew nothing would have ever happened to make him the new person he was had he not walked in on Penny in the first place. She had become a permanent fixture in his life, someone he would alter his schedule for on any day. It was so … wrong, yet seemed so right, as overly cliché as it was—

"Sheldon! What do you think?"

He shook his head and stared at her, and words escaped him. She was wearing a beautiful true-blue cocktail gown, stopping mid-thigh. The dress had wide triangular straps and as she spun, he noted a thick lacing style in the back. The bodice had a corset styled top with a dainty lace detail in an icy blue and rouching below that extended into the fluffed, layered skirt, edged in the same delicate lace that adorned the top. To put it simply, she was gorgeous. She was still uniquely Penny, but sophisticated and much more adult. He had never seen her more beautiful.

"Sheldon?"

He smiled at her, aware of his blushing face. "Y-you look stunning."

A smiled from her was all he needed to know that he had said the right thing. He stood up and walked over to Penny, giving her a hug that she eagerly returned.

"Damn, you two make a cute couple!"

Sheldon leaped away from her, aware of Franz's presence. He had just forgotten she was there! Good god, what Penny could do to him!

"Hey, tall and handsome, it's your turn."

Despite his protests, he too was dragged into the back for measurements. His last sight before the door shut was Penny standing alone in all her glory, smiling at him. It made the experience a little more pleasant.

Andric Consort

Sheldon stared into the mirror in the bathroom, attempting to fix a single fly-away hair that had been the bane of his existence for the past fifteen minutes. He was anxious and slightly stir-crazy. Had he not been waiting for Penny, he would have been relatively fine. Tonight was the night of the premiere, but they needed to go for the red carpet photo opportunities that preceded the first showing. It was ridiculous to him, and yet he wanted to look perfect for her.

He wanted her to be respected for her talents and shocking beauty. It was important that he reflected her good fashion and incredible abilities by his outward appearance. He continually wondered why she did not just go with Jim Parsons, her romantic interest in the movie. He'd seen pictures of him, and his acting talent in the previews, and he was far more attractive than Sheldon could even hope to be. He glared at himself in the mirror, finally taming the flyaway as he heard the door open and close, the clinking of keys in the key bowl alerting him of Leonard's return from Stephanie's.

Sheldon slipped from the bathroom, standing in the living room, stiff and uncomfortable.

"Hello, Leonard. I trust your lunch with Stephanie went well?"

Leonard smiled but Sheldon could read the surprise on his face.

"What are you wearing? All dressed up and nowhere to go? Or do you have an important place to be?"

Sheldon glanced down at his outfit Penny had approved out of Franz's selection of fashions. He had donned the accursed dark wash, close fitting blue jeans, a slick-looking black leather belt with a shining silver buckle and surprisingly comfortable black paten dress shoes, topped with a soft white button down shirt under a grayish-silver dress vest. A Superman insignia faintly showed through the white fabric. His hair had been tamed nicely, and he had taken extra care in making sure he was effectively odor-free and would remain that way for the night. He cleared his throat.

"Tonight is Penny's premiere. She asked me to accompany her," Sheldon said as he wandered back to his room to get the tie that faintly matched Penny's dress, fixing it expertly. All those years of dressing for Chuch with Meemaw had effectively helped his tie tying abilities.

"Premiere? Already?" Sheldon returned to the living room and spotted Leonard in the kitchen, fixing himself a glass of Lactaid. Sheldon inwardly shuddered at the memories of the foul milk impostor.

"Yes," he adjusted his tie, "it is tonight. Why are you surprised?"

Leonard wiped away his white mustache, "Well, I haven't seen any previews. Have I missed them all?"

"Yes. Do you wish to see one?" Sheldon asked, seating himself before his XPS.

Leonard followed, standing behind him, "Yeah, if you don't mind."

Sheldon opened YouTube and found the best trailer of the group and sat back, Penny's incredible acting talents and emotions enveloping him. Every time he saw these trailers, he found it hard not to imagine himself on the receiving end of her affections. Of course, she only believed them to be friends, as she had stated so many times, but Sheldon could dream. Dreams were the only place he could have her love. As the trailer ended and Penny's voice resounded through release date, Sheldon pulled himself from his fantasies.

"Wow. That was … innovative and very impressive! I had no idea Penny was so good!"

Sheldon refrained from proudly saying he'd helped her reach such a state of excellence.

"Well, all I can tell you, Sheldon, is that you are one lucky guy to have her on your arm."

"What do you mean? I will be bringing down her appearance of excellence. I am only a theoretical physicist who has no connection to the acting world and therefore will start gossip about Penny. I do not wish to bring her harm and I fear this could hurt her career."

Leonard laughed and Sheldon felt his face heat in embarrassment and anger.

"Sheldon, seriously? You really feel that way? Just look at yourself! You look … really good. You look like an adult, rather than an oversized kid! You're still you, I mean, who else would have the white Superman shirt under their ensemble? Only you. Penny should be proud to have you."

"How so?"

"Have I not explained enough?" Leonard rinsed his glass in the sink, turning to Sheldon and adjusting his glasses, "If you're worried about giving Penny a bad image, don't. You may lack many talents of social conversation, but how many films have you seen and how many heroes have smoothed over any issues with speech? Put that eidetic memory to use."

"I … see," Sheldon was surprised at Leonard's sudden insight.

"Just think … eloquent Spock with Kirk's confidence, Bruce Wayne's way he carries himself … do you get it now?"

"I understand. I do believe this advice has been exceptionally helpful."

Sheldon revisited the list of characters to merge and emanate: polite, friendly, confident, and sexy. He could do that.

Leonard stood as a tri-knock sounded on the door and opened it, revealing a beautiful Penny to his eyes. Her dress was as stunning as ever, elegant true blue that shocked life into her eyes, which were rimmed in a delicate charcoal liner and mascara, a sweep of silver-green shadow across her lids, darker in the corners. Her face was fresh, natural-looking. Her hair was wavy and natural, accented by a deep side part and a single, silver Penny Blossom. Delicate silver earrings hung from her lobes and on her feet were silver, stiletto sandals. She held a small silver wristlet in her hands and a large silver bracelet with oh gosh, a sapphire Starfeet Academy symbol on it.

"Hey, Leonard. Sheldon, you ready to go? The limo's waiting for us." She smiled.

Sheldon made his way past Leonard and into the hall, following Penny down the stairs.

"Is anyone else accompanying us in said limo?"

She smiled, nodding, "Yes. Another of my cast mates."

"But, Penny! I do not know these individuals personally and do not wish to cause a commotion. Could you not have told be before hand?"

"Good God, Sheldon! Is it really so important for you?"

"Yes! I do not wish to make a fool of myself!"

As the two exited the building, still arguing gently with each other, Sheldon spotted the elegant black limo. The two walked over to it, still arguing about the social convention of informing others of whom they will be riding with, and Sheldon held the door open for Penny, shooing the driver who had gotten out.

"—but really, Penny! You of all people should know better than that!" he grumbled, entering the limo behind her, only seeing her. She smirked and he wondered what she was planning.

"Ah, Penelope, is this the Dr. Sheldon Cooper I have heard so much about?"

Sheldon froze as he sat down, his head snapping in the voice's direction, his eyes wide.

"Y-you!"

Impelled Consanguinity

After the movie, the cast and all accompanying guests had been invited out to a high-end L.A. restaurant. The men had gravitated towards the bar and wide selection of alcohol. Naturally, Penny had shooed him off with the other males, staying behind to talk with her mother, older sister and other female members of the cast and family. Sheldon smiled from his seat at the bar. Beside him was Penny's older brother, Aiden. The man was actually quite intelligent, working as a University professor of landscape architecture.

"So, you're the guy Pen was dating that time?"

"No. She was 'dating' as you call it, my room mate Leonard."

"Oh! Right. He wore glasses and was short, right?"

"Don't forget the lactose intolerance."

Aiden wrinkled his nose, "Pen mentioned that."

"I knew their union was doomed from the start. They were ignorant of each other's individual and habitual needs."

"Hm. Sounds like somebody was jealous."

Sheldon stared at the male equivalent of his unrequited affections, a look of shock and disagreement on his face.

"No, believe me, I was not jealous."

"Sure sounds like it."

Sheldon huffed, "We were merely friends …"

"Sure, sure."

Sheldon scowled into his virgin Cuba Libre, unnerved at Aiden's perception.

"She really is into you, you know that, right?"

Sheldon sighed, "She has said many times we are good friends; best friends even."

"Honey, it goes deeper than that. My granddaughter is smitten with you."

Whipping his head around, he stared at the elder woman who stood behind him. She smiled warmly, and he immediately saw where Penny got her affectionate grins.

"I'm Heidi Carlson, Penny's grandmother."

"Dr. Sheldon Cooper. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Carlson."

"Oh honey, please, Heidi is fine."

"Heidi."

The gray haired woman smiled, crow's feet showing by her eyes. Her smile lines were deep, and Sheldon knew this woman was very happy for much in her life.

"Sheldon, so tell me, how did my granddaughter who only dates the meatheads end up with a doctor?"

"Oh, you are mistaken. We are not a—"

"Don't you start with me, young man! I can see the love between the two of you! Now tell me, how did my silly Penny end up with a smart man like you?"

Sheldon shot a glare at a snickering Aiden, who caught the hint and turned away in his barstool. He had a feeling the damn man was going to eavesdrop the whole time.

"She moved in across the hall from me a few years ago."

The woman raised her eyebrow, her smile quirking up in one corner and Sheldon noticed the remarkable similarity to her granddaughter.

"Penny was, forgive me, below my respect for a long while, until she ended up helping me with an experiment."

"I do believe she mentioned this to me. Dancing?"

Sheldon felt himself grow hot and he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yes. I walked in on Penny dancing to a very provocative song, and was intrigued with the way my … body reacted the motions of hers."

"So you wanted to be able to study your reactions?"

"And hers. My theory was that both males and females react in similar ways when placed in provocative situations."

"Hm. I see. So you used my granddaughter?"

Sheldon became upset, "No! You misunderstand. She only agreed to help me if I helped her practice for her audition; the one that landed her this role. I," Sheldon paused, unsure of what he could possibly say to save his sudden declaration of his supposed credit for her role, "… am proud to be the one who helped her reach her success, even if I may never stand beside her."

He flushed darkly as Heidi gave him a knowing smile, "How do you know you can't?"

"She has stated many times that we are friends. And we shall stay that way."

The older woman nodded gravely, motioning for him to follow her to a vacant table. Aiden turned and looked. Sheldon complied out of respect for his elders, and that this woman reminded him of Meemaw.

"Sheldon, be honest with this old woman for a moment and tell me truly. You love my Penny, don't you?"

He didn't hesitate, "Yes."

"She told me you don't lie. I believe you."

A long silence ensued as Heidi simply looked at him. Sheldon found he didn't mind; it wasn't as if he was under a microscope, but as though she saw him for what he was. The real Sheldon Cooper, the man underneath the machine façade.

"She isn't gonna' wait around forever, you know."

Sheldon looked away, clenching his hands together, "I know. I am not used to such … social necessities."

"Time is a'tickin', honey. You don't want that Jim Parsons to sweep her away into a whirlwind romance, do you?"

"Heavens no!"

She smiled, "Then get to it, boy."

Sheldon watched the older woman stand from her seat and walk away from him. Sitting alone at the empty table, Sheldon stared at his untouched beverage, the condensation dripping down the glass and pooling on the table. He sighed.

"Sorry about my mama, Mr. Cooper."

Looking up, he found himself staring at a large, brown haired man with brilliant gray eyes.

"'Scuse my manners, I'm Steve Carlson, my little slugger's dad."

Sheldon shook the man's proffered hand and responded in kind, "It's a pleasure."

"So, my slugger tells me you're the reason she got this here role."

"No, I merely offered support and critique. She did everything herself."

Steve nodded, "She don't believe that and neither do I. You're somethin' else, Mr. Cooper."

"Actually, sir, I am a doctor."

"Oh? My slugger landed herself a doc, eh?"

"We're not—"

The larger man waved him off, "Don't go tellin' me you ain't interested in my Penny. Ain't a man alive who don't wanna' date my slugger. No of 'em got a chance, but I still dunno what to make o' you."

"Excuse me?"

Steve grinned, "Be nice to my slugger. She's got a big heart, boy. I'm sure my family will welcome you with open arms," the larger man slapped Sheldon's arm playfully, his grin widening. Sheldon nodded, smiling weakly as Steve stood. For the second time that evening, Sheldon was left alone at the table.

"Dr. Cooper. I never thought I'd see the days when I would revoke my restraining order on you."

His head snapping up to his idol, Sheldon stood hurriedly from his seat, "Mr. N-Nemoy!"

"Perceptive. Sit, sit. I have much to ask you."

Sheldon was floored. Leonard Nemoy. The Leonard Nimoy had questions for him?

"So, you live across from Penelope?"

He nodded, words escaping him.

"I see. You do understand that all she has done is for you, right?"

"P-pardon?"

Leonard Nimoy smiled, "Penelope is a magnificent girl. Did you know the only reason she auditioned for a science fiction movie was to give herself a place with you?"

Again, words escaped Sheldon.

"She watched all of the Star Trek universe to better understand you."

Sheldon nodded eagerly, "I noticed her knowledge of my favorite series had increased exponentially from one day to the next. Did she ask you for help, Mr. Nimoy?"

"She did, in fact. But I do believe she should tell you why for yourself."

He nodded.

"Now, Penelope is a dear heart and has not had much luck with love in her life. Did you know that she based Seldhen's character after your own personality?"

Sheldon was floored, once again. She'd gone to such lengths to mimic him in another's script? He felt his face flood with color and he hung his head.

"Why the regretful look, Dr. Cooper?"

Sheldon looked up, unnerved by the discretion he would give to Leonard Nimoy.

"I feel … guilty. I do love her. How it happened I can say is the one thing I do not know."

"Why do you evade telling her?"

Sheldon shot him a look, "Mr. Nimoy, you of all people should know why. You filed a restraining order against me."

"Hm. True."

Sheldon sighed, "I don't know how she feels about me."

"She loves you, Dr. Cooper."

"You are certain?"

Leonard Nimoy smiled, patting Sheldon on the hand.

"I am."

For the third time that evening, Sheldon was left alone at the empty table, much on his mind.

-T–B–B–T-

Penny sighed, leaning against the wall. She hadn't seen Sheldon since she'd shooed him off to the bar. She missed his presence. All evening, he had been nothing short of spectacular. He radiated a flawless personality; walking tall, polite and courteous, confident and sexy. It was a shock to see him so collected after his first panic at seeing Leo.

She had forgotten the restraining order. Neither of them had. It made for a funny car ride. First Sheldon tried to escape and then Leo told him he removed the restraining order. Sheldon calmed down and hammered him with questions. It was amusing, to say the least. Susan was wonderful as always, and the two of them were quite amused with their counterpart's antics.

It was obvious she considered Sheldon her partner. Although she continued dodging her emotions and playing friends, she suffered inside; Penny wore him on her arm that day and they had fit together perfectly. She matched him. At least, that's what her mom had said.

Her sister was jealous, too. She was already married, but the sight of Sheldon in all his regal glory had made her (jokingly, of course) incredibly regretful of marrying Al.

"Pen! That guy is stunning."

"I know. His name is Sheldon."

"The Sheldon praying mantis Sheldon?"

"Yup."

"Oh my god are you sleeping with him?"

"RACHEL!"

"No, seriously!"

"No. He doesn't like me that way. I wouldn't push it."

"Like hell he doesn't like you that way! Damn, girl. You shoulda' seen the way he was lookin' at you on the carpet! He looked like he wanted to eat you!"

"Wh-what!"

"Babe, if he doesn't love you, he must be a cannibal."

"O-oh!"

The conversation was fresh in her mind. She felt her face flush and she sighed, downing the remnants of her water. She needed some air.

"Penny."

As soon as she stepped out of the restaurant, his voice echoed in the night air.

"Penny."

She turned slowly, pushing her bangs out of her face, "Sheldon?"

"How has your night been?"

"Good enough. You?"

"Quite well. Your family has been nothing but nice."

"Oh no, who did you get ambushed by?"

"Aiden and I were seated at the bar together, it was only logical to make conversation. Your grandmother, Heidi ambushed me, and your father shortly after.

"Oh no, I'm sorry. I told my dad to leave you alone. Damn man is so protective."

"I noticed."

"He didn't threaten you, did he?"

"No. But he gave me some interesting insight."

"Huh?"

Penny was suddenly enveloped in warm arms, and she found herself staring up into those eyes that are always too blue. He smiled tenderly down at her, a sight she'd never thought she'd be on the receiving end of. Those lips stretched wide across his perfectly angular face echoed the sparkle in his too blue eyes. She smiled back.

"Thank you for taking me with you, Penny."

She opened her mouth to speak but was unable to as his lips descended on hers and in that moment, everything ceased to exist.

Cessation

He felt Penny melt in his arms and knew he had been right in following the advice of all his elders. It was as though the huge burden of unrequited love was lifted from his shoulders. From this one kiss her affections were revealed and proven without a doubt. Bliss enveloped his overworked mind and he tightened his grip on Penny. She in turn wound her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He felt her breasts brush his chest through her gorgeous dress and deemed himself the luckiest man in the world … no, in all the infinite dimensions. No being could be happier than he in that moment.

The faint sounds of music and dancing reverberated from inside, echoing out into the side alley of the restaurant. Reluctantly, Sheldon pulled back from Penny's perfect lips, gazing down at her blissful face. Her eyes remained shut for a moment before fluttering open, a beautiful haze of lust making her green eyes glow in the dim light of the warm evening.

"Penny."

She smiled at him, "Why did you kiss me, Sheldon Cooper?"

"I have found it impossible to resist you, Penelope Carlson."

"Resist me?"

He smiled at her, resting his forehead against hers.

"You have haunted my thoughts since the day I saw you dancing. I do believe you have one of my shirts."

Her face turned bright red, "No! You walked in on me?" Her panic was quite endearing.

"I did. Why do you think I was so eager to learn to dance?"

"I—I guess that makes more sense," she nibbled her lower lip and Sheldon found himself unable to look away; the simple action burned his insides with want as she hesitantly asked, "do you want your shirt back?"

"No. You may keep it. I believe you have a pair of undergarments that match it, along with my socks, if I am not mistaken," he smirked.

She groaned aloud and buried her face in his chest, "Oh, goddamn it!" she lightly pounded a fist against his chest, "That's so embarrassing!"

He couldn't help but laugh and she looked up to him, her eyes wide and joyful.

"Your chest vibrates when you laugh …"

He smiled down at his blonde Junior Rodeo queen cornhusker and pressed a kiss to her lips gently.

"Come on. Let us go dance."

She nodded eagerly, grinning widely. He grabbed her hand gently and led her back inside as the music decibels increased. As they cruised onto the dance floor amongst her cast mates, Penny smirked at him.

"You think we can clear the floor?"

"I think we can do anything when we move together."

She smiled up at him and the rest of the evening was filled with dance, laughter, and chemistry that emptied the floor as everyone watched the two in amazement, and for some, amusement.

-T–B–B–T-

"—now, you must be joking!"

"No! Really! I'm not kidding! I'm only going to do Sci-Fi films!"

"That will hinder your income and potential projects. Is that not important?"

"Well, yeah, but I'd much rather just do what I like. After spending so much time with you boys, I've found my inner nerd! I like Sci-Fi movies!"

"If you are to only grasp your roles within the confines of the science fiction genre, make certain that movies you choose are not those atrocities known as B-movies."

"Well, hopefully I'll never run into that problem. After all, I'll be running them by you."

"Pardon?"

"Well, you helped a lot with Flux and so I think I can trust your judgment."

"You will rely on my knowledge to weed out any undesirable film roles?"

"Absolutely, if you're cool with that."

Sheldon was silent for a span of time, staring into the space in front of him, no doubt weighing the pros and cons for helping her. Penny smiled.

"I suppose it would not be an issue. I am "cool" with it, as you would say."

"That's awesome, Sheldon. I'm really glad."

She smiled at him, something he readily returned. It felt so wonderful to be with him. The limo was empty; Susan and Leo had decided to take their own vehicle home, brought to them via chauffeur. The silences were comfortable, their proximity was warm, and Penny found herself to be happier just sitting with Sheldon than she had been with any other man. It was comforting.

"Sheldon, I'm really glad you came with me tonight."

He glanced down at her, his eyes smiling. "I was pleasantly surprised with the whole ordeal. It was quite enjoyable."

"What did you think of my performance?"

"I had forgotten I left you uninformed of my perceptions. My apologies. Your performance was phenomenal. Lines perfectly delivered. I could not find a flaw, although your counterpart was lacking slightly. I believe you, as it is said, stole the show."

Penny was stunned and incredibly happy. His pleasure from her performance filled her with warmth and joy, his complement a rarity and incredibly sincere.

"I also must say, your family is full of wonderful people. I noticed your father once again called you "slugger"."

Penny bit her lip, melancholic about the return of her father's pet name.

"I realized that as well. I think he's finally accepted that I'm a strong and independent female … I'm a home run hitter in my own way, I guess."

"I vaguely understand the baseball allusion, but I grasp the meaning. You are a successful and powerful female actress now. I noticed your check arrived."

"So much money! Sheldon, I don't have to work as a waitress anymore! I could go buy a house in Beverly Hills and be a real celebrity!"

Of course, she had no intention of doing so. Her life across from 4A was more than she could ever want; her little apartment had become home and moving away simply seemed wrong. She also felt the need to be close to Sheldon. After their kiss, she knew she couldn't lose him. He was too precious of a person to attempt to replace. Leo'd kill her if she ever thought of moving away. He told her, once he's found, he needs to be kept. Or something like that. He felt that way about Sue.

"Penny, are you contemplating a relocation of your home?"

"Oh, gosh no! I like my apartment, and besides, I can put all my money in the bank and collect interest!"

"Hmph. I still do not trust banks. ATMs will be in charge. I know it will occur."

She laughed. She'd almost forgotten that she had managed to get Sheldon to put all his money into a bank. Silly man had all those checks lying around … she felt the car turn and begin to slow, telling her they were close to home. She took a deep breath.

"Sheldon, do you like me?"

He raised an eyebrow, "Was it unclear by my actions that I like you?"

"No, but … I'd like to know why you kissed me."

"You have been irresistible to me once I realized my instinctual attraction to you."

"Instinctual?"

"Yes. When we first met, I remember gazing at you before looking away. That was the moment of initial instinctual attraction. I remember you located my board first when you entered our apartment. This was the second signal of instinctual attraction, from both parties. Third signal was, and is, your gravitation towards my person, and mine to yours."

"So, you're saying that you realized you liked me when you pieced this all together? Why the dancing?"

"A hypothesis of my own instincts. A experiment to prove to myself I was wrong. Homo novus does not require primal instincts, only pure knowledge."

"Pardon?"

"I tried to prove myself wrong, and I am never wrong."

Penny pursed her lips, "So, what do you call this experiment?"

"I call it the Gravitational Dynamism Revelation."

She smiled sheepishly, "Can I get a translation, please?"

He nodded. "The Gravitational Dynamism Revelation, simply put, is the understanding of my desire to be around you and the way my body reacted to the proximity of yours."

"Oh. So, basically you are attracted to me?"

"Precisely."

"It goes both ways, Moon-Pie."

"Perhaps it does. I was hoping for that."

Penny's eyes widened, "What exactly are you saying?"

"I have," he paused, his forehead furrowing, eyes narrowing, lips pursing before he gazed at her, looking lost, pained, and very hopeful, "I have found myself hopelessly enamored with you, Penelope. Am I mistaken in guessing you can return my affections?"

Her world crashed to a halt. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? This went against the very laws of nature. Her robot man, her praying mantis, her Dr. Whackadoodle, her Wall-E … he loved her. He was telling her, in his strange, Sheldon-y way, that he loved her. Was she hearing things? Was she going crazy? Was this a joke? It couldn't be a joke. He didn't do that sort of thing … he would have said already "bazinga". As she gazed at his slowly despairing face, she knew he was serious. Her robot man had emotions. And those emotions were hers to hold and nurture, as long as he would allow. She smiled at him, unshed tears sparkling in her eyes as the car slowed to a stop.

"Sheldon Cooper, are you saying that you are in love with me?"

The silence that hung in the air was cold and nervous, quivering with secret energy of unspoken declarations that stood between the two.

"Yes."

"I love you too."

Sheldon smiled the brightest smile Penny had ever seen, and she reached out to caress his face, trailing her thin, long fingers across his high cheekbones. Time ceased its existence.

"Penny, the car has stopped."

"I know, honey."

She kissed him as gently as she possibly could, attempting to pour her love into him, only breaking it when the chauffeur opened the door for them, the cool night air chilling her skin and breaking it out into gooseflesh.

"Sheldon, come on. We're home."

He nodded to her, following her up the stairs. Their minds were in a haze as they ascended the stairs and entered Penny's apartment. Kisses were exchanged, words were said and unsaid, clothes were discarded (but folded), and love was shared. Blue eyes looked into green, green into blue. Unspoken promises of eternity flew through them as their bodies melded together in their own personal, intimate dance.

-T–B–B–T-

Fear flowed through their veins; attachment was finalized with the tying of heartstrings. They were strangers to each other, one a big ol' five, a return player, the other a hesitant newbie, learning the ropes; relying on one another to guide their dance to a perfect finish. Two people from alien worlds, coming together for their souls needed to be together, lest they lose their intensity and fizzle out into dust to be carried away in the night.

-T–G–D–R -

Names were called and the breathing evened out as the end passed; waves of tranquility rolled over them as they lay together, entwine in an embrace. They spoke of their secrets and dreams, their fears and hopes, love both gained and lost in the shadows of the early morning light.

"Sheldon, I love you."

"And I love you, Penelope."

"Penny. Just Penny."

"Very well, just Penny."

She snuggled against his bare chest, burrowing closer under the blankets that covered them. He wrapped his arms around her protectively, as to shield her from the horrors that could befall their strange relationship. Together they made a strange pair, but in all truth, Sheldon wouldn't have it any other way. In some bizarre way, they completed eachother. Penny kissed his collarbone, nestling her head against him as his fingers threaded through her hair, those long digits resting against the shell of her ear.

"Sheldon, will you hold me every night?"

"If you want me to."

"I do. Do you want to hold me?"

"I do."

As morning broke upon California, one couple did not stir. Sleeping on through the light of day, undisturbed by all except a small man with lactose intolerance who smiled down upon them, leaving a note and some ingredients for them both to put together for when they ultimately would awaken. After all, it was Thursday, and Sheldon always had French toast on Thursday.

fin.

A/N: Holy god this is long. Hope it was enjoyable.